


I've Got This Friend

by alipucca



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, F/F, Gen, Smoking, Substance Abuse (Accidental)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:32:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 101,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alipucca/pseuds/alipucca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perry and LaFontaine want to introduce a new friend to Carmilla, who at first is not very excited about the idea, given  the failed attempts the ginger twins they have made with other girls in the past. But this new friend might end up being not as bad as she thought. Or even worse than she could have imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and comments! 
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so I hope not to disappoint in later chapters. Criticism is always welcomed and spread the love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1

Nerdy Ginger (7:27 pm): Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Carmilla (7:29 pm):         You know I never have plans

Nerdy Ginger (7:30 pm): Well, Perr and I, along with another friend that we’d like you to meet, will be at The Lustig at 9:30ish.

Carmilla (7:48 pm):         I’ll think about it.

 

       Sometimes she still asks herself why she let the ginger twins convince her of hanging out with them ever since the last time they developed their “brilliant” scheme of hooking her up with Danny. She was another red head, but after a couple of dates Carmilla ditched the ginger themed nicknames and started calling her Xena-- living proof that giants still roamed the earth. That turned out to not be as brilliant of a plan as they thought it would be. They were always trying to play matchmakers with Carmilla since they knew she hadn’t been in a relationship after what happened with Elle. Which may or may not have been their fault for introducing her to Carmilla. Maybe third time’s the charm, she thought, fully aware that that was almost impossible.

       Even though the weather was already getting chilly, she slipped into her black leather pants and a see through black shirt. If she was going get set up with someone, she might as well look good doing it. Hell, she might even get a couple of drinks out of it. She liked her jet black hair, curled in relaxed and messy locks that always looked like she had spent hours working on them. Truthfully, it had been days since she had last combed it. She applied her signature eyeliner and looked at herself in the mirror, nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders and grabbed a light jacket before shutting the door behind her.

       She walked four blocks from her apartment until she arrived at a narrow place situated between two colossal brick buildings. In front stood a heavy wooden door that’s faded teal in color with a small barred peep hole window. Unlike other places, this one had a single, nearly invisible wooden framed window to the left that had refused to open for years. Between the window and the entrance door, the wall had a small, chipped and faint painted sign that reads: The LUSTIG, est. 1968. The sign was living proof that this place has definitely seen better days. Business steadily went on but passersby never seemed to pay too much attention and walked on without giving the bar a second glance during the day. There were several occasions in which it would get crowded, but not to the point of looking like a human infestation unlike other bars that Carmilla knew. On the inside, the walls had the exposed brick facade from the original building, the bar placed in an L shape at the corner with several tall tables lining the opposite side of the room. Carmilla was greeted by the bartender of the evening, Kirsch, who might be one of the tallest people that Carmilla had ever met. Scratch that, Xena takes the cake. But he was equally as tall and quickly flashed her a smile. If Carmilla ever compared him with anything, which she usually did, she would say that he’s the one clueless puppy that never stops wagging his tail. He might not be good at a lot of things (dropping lime wedges into the sink and straws on the floor) but he certainly knew how to mix an old fashioned.

       “Hey Carmsexy.” He had a wide smile painted on his face as he handed a customer their order without taking his eyes off of her, almost knocking over another person’s beer without noticing.

       “Don’t you ever get tired of smiling?”

       “Nah! Winter is coming, bro. That’s something to smile about. And you know how much I love making your drink since you seem to be the only hottie that ever orders it.” He reached for a glass, grabbed an orange and began cutting into it, “Your friends went straight to the patio. Are they trying to hook you up with someone again?” He took some sugar and kept mixing her beverage while still smiling obnoxiously at her.

Carmilla rolled her eyes, annoyed that even the puppy dog was aware of how painstakingly single she was. Was it that obvious?

       “Any slower and I’d have already been married, have a child, and have that child make these drinks--”

       “One old fashioned.”

       He handed Carmilla her drink and pretended not to hear her. “Hey, have you ever seen Mad Men? You would be like Don Drapper but in a lady’s body. Like a lady Drapper.”

       Before Kirsch could say anything else, she started walking to the patio door, taking a small sip from her drink, realizing that once again the giant got it perfectly. Kirsch knew her well enough to keep her tab open without asking.  As she entered a narrow open hall with Chinese lanterns candidly illuminating the corridor above her, Carmilla always looked up to see a sculpture of a pair of female legs wearing red stilettos. They seemed to have been captured as the feet were swinging in the air at the edge of a fake window between the second and third floor of the building to their right.  She kept walking, meeting an abstract elephant sculpture and empty picture frames decorating the left wall. There was no doubt that this place has a… quaint and unsettling vibe which adds to the allure of it. She erased the grin that formed in her lips and composed herself to her usual uninterested glance as she kept walking down the hall. A single large tree was at the center of the patio with white Christmas lights entwined between the branches. Metal circular tables with umbrellas in them were spread out along the semi-small space with several sculptures lining the edges. She eventually noticed the ginger twins standing next to one of the sculptures, causing a small (very small) commotion. Identifying Perry first, followed by LaFontaine who was facing in her direction, and then a shorter, unknown person with long, caramel hair giving her back to Carmilla. No drinks in any of their hands, Carmilla raised and eyebrow and took a loud sip.

       “They added a new sculpture since the last time we came, Perry, how can you not remem— Hey! Did you just get here?”

       “Been here a while,” she answered with a monotonous tone. “Tell me, did the garden gnomes started another uprising in your apartment building and you had to evacuate or what?”

       “Well, we wanted to go out since it’s sort of nice out tonight. A bit chilly actually, but nice! And we wanted to have a good time. With you,” Perry responded and shifted her eyes between Carmilla and the unknown girl. “And we wanted you to meet Laura. Laura, this is Carmilla, Carmilla, this is Laura.”

       The tiny girl turned to face her with a bright smile already painted on her face and immediately grabbed Carmilla’s hand and kissed her cheek. Carmilla tensed up by the sudden display of affection from the girl she met two seconds ago. But maybe that was the way this tiny girl greeted everyone? Carmilla immediately noticed how cute she was with her eyes like a baby deer’s that still hadn’t been jaded by the cruelty of the world. Wait. She immediately pushed that thought away because it seemed too… sappy? Probably something the Bobbsey Twins would be thinking about each other. Probably something they’ve already thought about with each other. Gross.

       Lafontaine and Perry resumed their argument about the new sculpture and Carmilla turned to face Laura. She noted once again that she had no drink in her hand cause they were stuffed in her pockets.

       “Not drinking tonight, cupcake?” Carmilla asked.

       “Umm... No,” she answered sheepishly, pulling a strand of loose hair under her ear. If she wasn’t mistaken, Carmilla could’ve sworn she saw a tinge of blush flash across her cheeks. “I already spent all my money on a project I have been working on lately and I don’t get paid till next week. But thanks for the offer anyway.”

       “Who said I was offering?” Carmilla raised an eyebrow teasingly.

       The girl shifted her weight and quickly looked down to hide her cheeks from the constant blushing. When Carmilla figured she’d suffered enough, she tapped her arm with her elbow. “It was a joke, sweetheart. Don’t beat yourself up over it. And besides,” she sipped from her drink, feeling how the bitter taste of alcohol dissipated as it went down her throat and spread through her body, making her feel more relaxed, “it would be a shame if I’m the only one drinking from the four of us. Come, let’s get you something. The dimwit duo can grab their own drinks if they ever stop vomiting love through their eyes.”

       “Are you sure? I mean I just met you. I don’t want you to think like I’m taking advantage of you being all courteous to me even though you offered, but not really. But you did eventually, which is really sweet! And you know, making me feel less awkward than I already am because I am NOT good at meeting new people.” She finally paused for a second. “Am I— I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

       “It’s not against the law to babble, cutie. Come on. Today’s your lucky day and I happen to have more than $3 in my bank account, so I’m sure you’ve already thought of something you’d like.”

       Laura accepted her offer anyways, letting her lead as they headed towards the bar. They landed next to one of the speakers and Laura tried to talk to Carmilla, her voice muted almost instantly by the background music. At this point, it might as well be foreground music by how loud the music is cranked up since Carmilla first arrived. To bridge the sound gap, Laura leaned forward and spoke next to her ear, lightly brushing their cheeks together. They distance between them both was so small, Carmilla was able to notice small details she otherwise would have missed like the light freckles in Laura’s cheeks. This girl was… for a lack of better word, cute. Incredibly cute. The gingers managed to do a good job this time around.

       Catching herself, Carmilla asked Laura what she wanted to drink, but the smaller girl answered that a light beer would suffice despite Carmilla’s encouragement to get something stronger (far stronger) for her. She knew that light beers were the cheapest drinks available, but assented to avoid making her feel pressured. She flagged down Kirsch by casually lifting her hand and he immediately took their orders despite the protests from the other people already waiting at the bar before the two of them. No different than earlier, he effortlessly began to slice the orange, repeating the same process he did of combining the different liquors in a glass with that puppy smile on his face. He shifted his eyes between Carmilla to Laura and back again with a tug of a smirk on his lips. Carmilla was giving him a death stare, whereas Kirsch continued with a playful glance, knowing how easily he could annoy the dark haired girl. Laura, on the other hand, was unaware of the exchange of glances happening between them by being completely engrossed in the way Kirsch was working with the liquor bottles.

       “And one beer for the little hottie,” he kept smiling, perfectly aware of Laura’s distracted eyes as he handed her her beer, throwing the metallic cap to the trashcan and missing it by a couple inches.

As they started heading out towards the patio, Laura placed her hand on the crook of Carmilla’s arm and stopped  her.

       “Hey, umm... do you mind if we stay here a little longer? I mean if you want to, of course.”

       “Sure thing, cupcake.”

       They were fortunate to find an empty table with a single bar stool in the already crowded place. The air felt warmer due to the lights and the amount of people gathered, not to mention the level of alcohol already flowing through Carmilla’s system. Laura was about to give the only stool to Carmilla, but the dark haired girl asked her to hold her drink and went to the table next to them.

       “Hey, is anybody using this chair?” asking the girls with a sarcastically sweet tone in her voice.

       “Well, our friend told us she will be any minute, so—”

       “—Whatever.” She grabbed the stool with both hands and swung it next to Laura without saying another word.

       She started sipping in her drink, ignoring the girls who were literally behind her loudly complaining about how rude she was. Laura regarded her with a disapproving look in her eyes but said nothing.

       “What? Their friend probably already ditched them with a numbskull she found on the street. It would be a shame if it goes to waste.”

       Laura rolled her eyes but couldn’t wipe the hint of a smirk she had developing at the curl of her lip and sipped from her beer bottle.

       They started talking (or rather screaming) about general things like their classes, what they wanted to do after graduation-- the usual things people talk about when they meet someone new. Laura drank and seemed to be at ease talking to Carmilla, which was an unusual sentiment since the latter had a bad habit of driving people away with her personality. Laura would be the one to talk the most out of both of them, but she noticed that her new friend-- Friend? Was she and Laura friends yet? Whatever Laura was, she didn’t mind that she took up most of their conversation.

       Whenever the tiny human was talking, Carmilla began to notice how her eyes would light up when she got passionate about a subject and her hand gestures would become more animated and erratic. Her facial expressions would change, sometimes in such a comical way that the dark haired girl had to hide her grin by sipping from her drink. But what captivated her the most was Laura’s smile. She had the smile that reflected the mindset that if someone tried their very best, stayed pure of heart, and really believe it, they would make a difference. Something that Carmilla had lost  many years ago.

       After a few more moments and stories, they decided to head back to the patio to check on Perry and Lafontaine since it became almost impossible to be able to hear themselves screaming in each other’s ears. Not that Carmilla could complain, she enjoyed having the shorter girl almost brush her lips to her ear, causing the hairs in her arms bristle underneath her jacket. They got another round of drinks, courtesy of Carmilla, and started to walk towards the door. As they were on their way out, Carmilla bent down slightly and leaned close to Laura’s face, telling her to look up. So she did and the tiny human let out a laugh when she noticed the pair of legs coming out from the window. They walked and brushed their arms together, but Laura didn’t seem to notice and kept walking until they found the ginger twins seated at one of the tables, being the married couple they were and looking at each other. Carmilla rolled her eyes because, of course they would be disgustingly engrossed in each other.

       “Get a room.” She turned to Laura but still spoke loud enough that the other two could hear. “And they say they wanted to get together and have a good time.”

       They broke their gaze and came down from Cheesy Wonderland just in time to meet both Laura’s and Carmilla’s gaze.

       “We were wondering where you two went for so long.” Perry said.

       “Oh yeah, you were so concerned about our well-being that you decided instead to stay here and talk to each other telepathically. Makes sense, Red.”

       “Is Carmilla just like we described her or what?” Lafontaine asked, not listening to the other girl’s snarky comment.

       “I’m right here,” Carmilla protested and gave a short wave towards Lafontaine.

       “She’s definitely--” She bought some time by taking a couple gulps from her beer. “She’s exactly like you told me she’d be, even with the snarky commentary and the constant eye rolling,” Laura began to giggle because, as if on cue, Carmilla rolled her eyes in annoyance. She nudged Carmilla with her hip and gave her a smile, hoping she’d smile back. Negative. But Carmilla was having fun meeting this new person and it seemed like she was having fun too. Maybe? Or maybe that’s the alcohol slowly starting to make itself known.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, in which Laura is drunk and Carmilla is a troll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't drink and drive, creampuffs!

       As the night progressed and drinks were consumed, Carmilla found out that Laura was a photographer and that her next exhibition was in a couple of weeks. She also found out that she was terrible at playing pool but made an effort (without any success). When she was in middle school, she managed to scrape both her knees at the same time while trying (also without any success) to learn how to skateboard. Due to the incident, she walked awkwardly for two weeks at school because she refused to accept the nurse’s loaned wheelchair. It didn’t help that she ignored her advice of not scratching the scabs that have already formed, opening her wounds a second time. But most importantly, her dad was a raging paranoid who signed her for Krav Maga when she was eight years old and started sending her a day of the week bear spray supply since she left for college.

       Carmilla burst in a fit of laughter because, come on, day of the week bear spray? Lafontaine and Perry said that it was true. Laura handed her beer over to pull out a palm sized cylindrical black canister from her purse, with “Saturday” scrawled in blocky handwriting on it to prove her wrong.

       “Oh shit, you _do_ have day of the week bear spray,” she chuckled almost in disbelief and noticed that Laura had finished her beer. “Well cupcake, I have been amused twice today and I think you have just broken a new record. And to celebrate, I’m getting you another drink.”

       Laura let Carmilla get her another beer without protesting this time as she talked among the ginger twins. Her head was beginning to spin a bit but she pushed the feeling aside. She hadn’t had this much fun in a while and she was not going to become her own personal Debbie Downer. With the drinks in her hand, Carmilla walked back to the patio that managed to become colder within the past 5 minutes. She handed Laura her beer and she sipped her old fashioned, noticing how the tiny girl’s nose had turned red from the cold and how she was holding her beer with her fingertips.

       “You okay there, buttercup?” she asked.

       “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” She gave a weak smile and pulled her arms closer to her body, beer still balancing between her fingertips.

       “Sweetie, are you sure you are okay? You look a little cold,” Perry asked.

       “Yeah. No. I’m fine,” she managed to say through her clenched jaw. “Just a _little_ cold but I’m sure I’ll be okay.” Sipping again from her drink, her drowsy eyes and slight swaying were an indication that if she wasn’t already drunk, she was well on her way. “Okay. So I guess I am a little colder than I thought I was and you know what? Would you mind if we go inside just for a little bit? I don’t feel like shivering like a chihuahua the rest of the night. And I am getting kinda tipsy. Or sleepy. Maybe both.” Yep, she was definitely drunk.

       They couldn’t hear each other with the now deafening music once inside. How this place still attracted and retained customers with such loud music is beyond any of them. Ginger One and Ginger Two were holding each a glass filled with a clear liquid that was definitely water, despite them denying it to Carmilla. “It’s a vodka tonic,” they reassured her. She narrowed her thoughts, trying to remember when they managed that since they had been practically stationary for the entire night, but the longer she tried to remember, the harder it became for her to focus.

       Everything inside the bar had intensified. From the music, to the temperature, even the spinning in Carmilla’s head. She couldn’t bear the heat anymore so she opted to take off her jacket, having some difficulty and letting Perry help her. She tied her hair into a messy bun with a hair band she had on her wrist which exposed her neck and left a cooling sensation that unfortunately lasted five seconds.

       “Whoa! Your neck!” Laura stammered.

       “What?”

       “Your neck!” She motioned at her own neck for emphasis.

       “And you have one too.”

       Laura shifted and gingerly brushed her fingers through Carmilla’s neck, shivers running down her spine.

       “Dude, you’re like... a vampire!”

       “A what?” She wasn’t going to make any effort to scream above this music.

       “A vampire!” She pointed a finger at Carmilla’s neck. “You have fang marks on your neck.”

       “You’re mistaken, Sherlock.”

       “Yes, you do!” She poked the dark haired girl’s neck with her index finger and middle finger. “Right there... And there!”

       The very slight touch from Laura’s fingertips on Carmilla’s neck were enough to send shivers again down Carmilla’s spine and through her arms. She remembered that it was a long time since someone could have that effect on her, but she shook off the memory as she looked again into the girl’s sleepy eyes who were fixated on hers.

       “Those are freckles, not bite marks, sweetheart.”

       “Are you a vampire, Carmilla?” She squinted her eyes to seem a bit more intimidating, as if that would produce the answer that she was looking for. “Wait a minute. I don’t know your last name. What’s your last name?”

       “Karnstein.”

       “Frankenstein?”

       “KARNSTEIN.”

       “Carmilla Karnstein,” she rolled off her tongue and giggled, “you are definitely a vampire.” She pointed a finger somewhere remotely in Carmilla’s direction while swaying a little bit.

       Carmilla rolled her eyes and led Laura to the bar.

       “All right let’s get you some water, cupcake.”

       She grabbed Laura’s wrist gently so she wouldn’t tip over on their way to the counter and asked for two glasses with water, handing one to the tiny person, who finished it in three chugs. Carmilla asked for another glass with water and paid for her tab, walking back to Perry and Lafontaine, who asked what they were drinking.

       “Vodka tonic,” Carmilla answered, causing a perplexed Laura to look at her glass closely, sipping a little until she was confident it was water and began drinking again.

       Even after a couple of glasses of water, Laura leaned over to Carmilla and said (repeatedly) that she was getting sleepy, placing her arms around the other girl’s waist and making herself comfortable on her shoulder. Carmilla insisted that she keeps drinking the water but Laura kept saying that all she wanted was to sleep. Lafontaine held out their arm with their palm open, a clear sign that they were asking for her keys. Laura instead handed her purse to them. They all finished their waters as Lafontaine rummaged through Laura’s purse for the keys. They held up the bear spray with a grin for Perry to see again and she playfully slapped them on the shoulder, urging them to keep looking. When the keys were found all four of them began to exit towards the door.

       --

       Outside, Carmilla felt a sudden ache in her body from the cold and let down her hair while she simultaneously tried to put on her jacket as quick as her coordination allowed her. Laura started shivering again and before Carmilla could notice, The tiny human had already entwined their arms together and held her close for warmth. As she noticed the smaller girl doing this, Carmilla felt her cheeks warm and hope no one would notice. They walked across the street lot in front of the bar to a parking lot until they reached Laura’s car with Perry already at the driver’s door waiting, the engine already running and the windows rolled down. Carmilla held Laura by the waist, helping her delicately climb into the passenger’s seat with her eyes half-closed. She pushed the door shut by the rolled down window, leaving her hand on the door. Perry made sure to buckle her up.

       “C-c-c-armilla?” She leaned in the open window to hear Laura’s faint, shivering voice.

       “Yeah, cupcake?”

       “I’m so-sorry for being s-s-s-o annoying. If th-there’s anything I di-did that made you feel uncomf-fortable, I’m sorry.”

       “There’s nothing to apologize about, cutie.”

       She was about to turn, when she felt a hand being placed on top of hers though the window.

       “Carm-milla?”

       “Yes?”

       “Th-thank you very much for to-to-tonight. I had a really good t-ti-time.” She lightly caressed  Carmilla’s knuckles with her thumb, a faint smile on her lips.

       “I did too, cupcake.” She felt a warm prickling crawling through her chest.

       Perry turned to watch  LaFontaine safely climb into their car and started the engine. She lingered with the door open and turned to Carmilla.

       “Send me a text when you get home, okay?”

       “Shouldn’t you be focused on getting sleeping beauty home safely instead?”

       “Really.” Her face turned soft with a motherly concern in her eyes. “Send me a text. Otherwise I’ll be knocking at your door at 4:30 in the morning.”

       Without another word, Carmilla began to walk in the direction towards her apartment, not looking back to see them all drive away together. She began to think of everything that had happened at the bar with Laura and realized how cute the tiny person was, babbling on about personal experiences that other people would have been ashamed to say out loud, or the subtle way they would accidentally make physical contact and pretend like nothing had happened. Carmilla realized that Laura was very different from the rest of the girls she had been with, and for the first time in a while, it felt like a nice change . Without knowing it, Carmilla was smiling; genuinely smiling by the unexpected turn of events. Laura had managed to pleasantly surprise her, assuring herself that maybe this time Perry and LaFontaine weren’t wrong about finally matching her with someone worthwhile.

       When she arrived at her apartment, she started to change and remembered to let Perry know she’s home safe. Carmilla knew better than anybody else that Perry was fully capable of actually banging on her door, and possibly, barging in her apartment, in the early morning hours just to make sure she was safe.

 

Carmilla (2:48 am):       Home.

Gingerlocks (2:48 am): Thank you. Goodnight Carmilla.

Carmilla (2:49 am):       Night.

 

       She silenced her phone and climbed in her bed. It was a good thing she didn’t have school the next day so she could sleep in for as long as her body would allowed her to or until her eyes have rested enough. She thought about Laura’s eyes and smile and found herself smiling along with the thought, holding onto it while she placed her head on the pillow and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was the second part of the chapter. Sorry if you think it is kinda short, but the next ones will be longer, I promise. 
> 
> Aside from that, thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries! I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so I hope not to disappoint in later chapters. Let me know what you think of it and spread the love!
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla goes to the library to study, hungover, and bumps into someone she didn't expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE CREAMPUFFS!

       The thing that Carmilla hated the most about school was how crowded the library got right before finals, even on a Sunday at three in the afternoon. It was as if everybody on campus decided that if they congregated there, their chances of passing their exams would increase by 75% or something.

       The library was clearly the oldest building in the entire campus. It had thick, heavy stone walls and massive wooden doors that made Carmilla feel like she had traveled back to the late 1600’s. It was three stories high with four wings per floor, all leading to the octagonal shaped center atrium. It was surrounded by rock columns, depressed arches, and detailed stone work that decorated every face of the octagon, bringing out the grandeur and splendor of the structure. The lower levels included a basement and a sub basement that no one dared to enter because rumor has it that a sleeping dragon could be heard under the aged floorboards. The wings resembled the same architecture as the atrium, connected with ribbed arches that supported the weight of both the infinite amount of books and the people. The first floor was the most complicated to understand with its chambers and halls that connected the wings at different lengths, resembling a spider web. It was the tallest from the rest of the floors and looked nearly infinite in height. Each section had narrow, pointed windows that barely let the sun enter the building, making it a dark and cold place even during summer. The main source of light was the dome that covered the entire length of the atrium, making Carmilla feel extremely small in comparison to the colossal magnitude of the architecture.

       Carmilla walked around the designated study areas on the third floor, a spot she occasionally cruised by to pick up girls whenever she felt lonely. Although she was very familiar with the library, it was still a mystery to her how the books stacks were arranged. They resemble a maze, with intersecting corners and crisscrossed shelves that seemed like they went on forever until they reached another dimension in the universe. She walked around, searching for an empty table to place her belongings for nearly twenty five minutes, traveling from one level to another without any luck. She already circled the first and second floor and was began climbing the stairs once more. Her thighs burned as she reached the end, stopping to catch her breath and grasping the railing with her hand while balancing a laptop, the overused notebooks, and heavy books under her other arm. She realized she probably had the physical fitness of a 64 year old person. And being hungover was not making things any easier either.

       She made her way back into the atrium with the colonnade and low arches spreading before her. The smell of coffee was more prominent than before, making her stomach protest the fact that she hadn’t eaten anything the day before. It was crowded, loud, the stupid coffee shop on the first floor lobby was working nonstop, and the high pitched whirring sound of the milk steamer resonated through the rest of the floors. She tried putting on her headphones to muffle the sound, but it was useless.

       There were tables encompassing the atrium, with several couches and small tables spread around to allow individuals as well as groups of students to gather around. Bigger tables were placed against the balustrade, where larger groups of students were either studying or laughing like buffoons.

       Off to the opposite end of where Carmilla was, a table cleared up. The raven haired girl darted to reach it, but not before an idiot placed his backpack before she could, claiming the table as his property. Carmilla glared at the him as he had a triumphant smirk in his face, walking away. As time went on, her hopes of finding an empty spot weret vanishing until she recognized someone she knew. She walked delicately, with a flash of dread crossing her mind that maybe it would be one of her former “study buddies” that she didn’t bother calling back. She approached the girl who had books of photographs and drawings sprawled around her. She scanned the work area quickly for signs of who it might be: A box of cookies half full, a mix of empty and unopened grape soda cans, snack cakes, bread crumbs visible in the vicinity of the cookie tray, and a laptop positioned to the side that’s covered with various sheets of paper. There were also several notebooks with detailed drawings in them, scribbles all along the margin that even the girl seemed to have a hard time understanding when Carmilla approached her. She slowly recognized who it was and a mischievous smile spread across her face.

       She positioned herself behind the girl and leaned slowly to get as close as she could without breaking the student’s concentration.

       “Cupcake,” she said in a low, husky voice.

       The girl jumped from her seat, flinging her arms in the air.

       “Shit!” She practically screamed, earning a few glances from the surrounding students. Carmilla quickly shifted her grin and shot them a death stare that encouraged all the eyes to wander back to whatever the hell they were doing. Laura looked up, slightly shocked, but they became sleepy afterwards. “Holy crapsticks, Carmilla. Don’t do that again.”

       “You’re jumpy.” Laura’s shoulder sagged, making Carmilla feel bad for a fraction of a second. “I thought you weren’t the twitchy type. My mistake.” She pushed the smaller girl’s backpack to the other seat next to her and dropped her own bag on top of the table. Earning another startled movement from the girl in front of her.

       “There’s no twitching, there is an _absence_ of twitching.”

       “Clearly,” she exclaimed flatly, rolling her eyes.

       Carmilla pushed Laura’s belongings around, making room for her to cover the rest of the table with her own things. She opened her books and notebooks, and began to read.

       “So… how are you?”

       “Meh,” the dark haired girl shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly without taking her eyes off her book, “I’ve been worse. You?”

       “I’m never drinking like that again.” She answered groggily.

       Carmilla looked up and studied Laura’s features and yes, she was indeed hungover, even more so than she was. Her eyes were drowsy and the sparkle that she saw the day before was almost extinct.

       “Well you _do_ look like crap.”

       “You don’t look so bad yourself.” She answered unenthusiastically.

       Laura hid her face in her pile of books while Carmilla opened her laptop directly in front of her, hiding the smile caused by the shorter girl’s response. They sat in silence opposite one another.

       Every once in a while, Carmilla would inconspicuously glance at Laura, who seemed to have fallen asleep. She wanted to reach out to her, but decided against it. _Don’t start getting soft and mushy for the cupcake, Karnstein_. She had to keep her feelings in order, especially in a place like this where her brother could walk in on her at any moment. If there was anything she hated about this crowded library, it was bumping into her brother in public. Even though he claims he’s there to study, Carmilla knew he was checking on her to report her whereabouts to their mother. Luckily, he was easy to spot since he’s always surrounded by those Zeta Omega Mu idiots, giving her enough time to slip out of sight into one of the many dark corners of the library.

       But she decided to push those thoughts from her mind and focused on her assignments that were due by the end of the week, namely writing a story as well as turning in three book reports. Sometimes she had a hard time remembering why she decided to be an English major, but every time she opened a book those negative thoughts seem to float away, sweeping her again to worlds and places she only knows exist in her mind.

       A buzzing came from the middle of the table, startling both girls at the same time. Laura picked up her phone, glanced at it and dropped it back at the table. Seconds later, it buzzed again. She texted something and placed it back on the table and they both kept on doing their assignments. Two minutes later and another buzz, making Carmilla grit her teeth by the constant interruptions. Laura ignored it. It buzzed again. And again. But Laura didn’t move.

       “Aren’t you going to answer it?” Carmilla asked through her teeth, keeping her voice as composed as best she could.

       “There’s nothing to answer.” The smaller girl answered, her voice exasperated.

       Carmilla was clenching her fists. The telephone was buzzing. Almost consistently at this point. Another buzz. This was getting ridiculous. Buzz. Finally, nothing. It stopped, allowing the dark haired girl to breathe in content, but it was short lived because three seconds later it started again. If only Carmilla could set fire to things by just looking at them, she knew that phone would be ashes already. It buzzed in sets of six five more times, and Laura ignored them all. By the sixth time--

       “I swear, if you don’t shut that pho—”

       Laura snatched it and turned it off. The shift from constant buzzing to nothing created a small silence within the murmurs and inaudible chattering of the surrounding students studying.

       “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” The smaller girl barked, surprising Carmilla by the tone Laura spoke and the information she offered.

       “Okay.”

       She saw that the girl’s eyes were little teary, but she knew better not to push her. Coming from personal experiences, she knew to keep her distance until the smaller girl felt comfortable in sharing whatever the heck was going on. Carmilla went back to her studies. They spent hours there, sitting without saying a word to each other, both too engrossed in their own assignments. Every once in a while, Carmilla would grab a cookie from Laura’s box, but that did nothing to dissipate her hunger. She had been working non-stop in her assignments and she was getting a pretty bad headache, which was not a good sign. Her stomach had been feeling the brunt of its emptiness for more than an hour, maybe two, but she only had $5.45 in her pocket and $9.78 left in her bank account till next week.  So buying food was out of the question. She spent more than she intended to last night, but it was worth it. Laura was worth it. She tried to concentrate, to drink water, to do anything to take her mind off the hunger but by this point, it was useless, her brain would not stop thinking of food. And her eyesight was tired from reading too much for too long.

       She looked up towards the ceiling, where a dome extended the entire length of the octagon, with a rather creepy, yet beautiful stained glass design of Silas University with the forest behind it, dragons flying above the buildings with constellations and clouds that seemed to change throughout the year. She noticed the stars outside, beyond the dome had appeared already. People were slowly scattering and tables in the atrium were now almost empty.

       As she was looking around, her stomach grumbled so loudly that it sounded like the sleeping dragon living in the sub basement had been awakened. _Shit_.

       “Was that... your stomach?” The tiny girl asked, raising both eyebrows.

       “No,” she answered between her teeth.

       As if on cue, her stomach grumbled again with as much intensity as the one before, making Carmilla clench her fists under the table to bear the pain her stomach was giving her.

       Laura gave her a disapproving look, and Carmilla rolled her eyes.

       “Carmilla! When was the last time you ate?” She asked.

       “Um... “ she said unintelligibly.

       “I don’t think I told you this before, but I don’t speak gibberish.”

       She took a defeated breath, “Yesterday.”

       Laura’s eyes widened with alarm by Carmilla’s response.

       “Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me before? We have been sitting here for hours and you might have been starving this whole time. I read somewhere that you should never do that because it is really bad for your stomach and your body and oh my gosh, Carmilla. Really, I’m _so_ sorry for keeping you up till this hour.”

       “I’m usually having dinner at this hour anyway, so don’t apologize, cupcake.”

       “You know what, Carmilla? Let’s leave this place.” Carmilla raised her eyebrow involuntarily and propped her head on her arm, looking at the girl somewhat amused and somewhat irritated because of her lack-of-food situation, “Let’s go and grab some food, get some rest for both our bodies and our eyes because we have been sitting for far too long in the same position and studied for too long... and I think my brain has melted.”

       “No, it’s okay. I don’t need food right now,” she answered with a casual tone.

       Her stomach grumbled again and she felt her hands starting to slightly shake.

       “Carmilla, we are leaving now. Like right now. Pack your things and let’s go.” She began to put everything away and suddenly stopped and turned to the hungry girl. “Carmilla, if you don’t get anything to eat you’re probably going to die.”

       “The human body can last up to three weeks by only drinking water. It’s an experiment I’ve been working on.”

       Laura finished packing her bags and offered the last two cookies to Carmilla, who put up a fight at the beginning but accepted them eagerly in the end. The smaller girl was waiting for her to hurry up. Even Carmilla had to accept the fact that if she doesn’t eat something within the next hour, she was probably going to pass out. That was something she didn’t want Laura to see. She neglectedly picked her books, scattered sheets of papers filled with notes, notebooks, pens and pencils and lastly her laptop with trembling hands. Both girls juggling everything in their arms, they tiredly headed towards the elevator that was taking forever to arrive. They began to descend all three flights of stairs, until they exited the library.

       “So what do you want to eat?”

       “I have some leftover food from the other day in my apartment,” she answered.

       “No, I am not letting you out of my sight until you get some food in your system because you look almost green at this point. Plus, I noticed your hands are shaking. So I’m going to ask you again, what do you want to eat?”

       Carmilla was too exhausted to argue.

       “Fine. What’s your stance on pizza?” she asked.

       Laura’s face lit up and brought a smile on her face. That smile that melted Carmilla’s heart. _Ugh, not again_.

       “I am totally in favor of pizza. I know this amazing place where they sell the best pizza, and believe me when I say it, it _is_ the best pizza in the whole world. They are open till late, which is something that I _truly_ appreciate from them. Oh!” She lifted a finger animatedly, “there was this one time—”

       “—at band camp—” Carmilla interrupted.

       “—no! Not at band camp, but there was this one time—”

       “—at band camp—”

       “—Carmilla, are you going to let me finish my story or not?”

       The dark haired girl kept silent. It was fun to frustrate Laura At least she had enough energy for that.

       “Anyway, I saw this thing the other day on the internet where it said, ‘Pizza doesn’t ask silly questions. Pizza understands,’ and I thought it was the funniest thing because I have seriously considered a relationship with pizza. Because I know that it won’t leave me, and once our relationship is over, I know I will be satisfied in the end rather than heartbroken. Although I’ll be a little heartbroken because, what would I ever do without my beloved pizza?”

       “You buy another one, duh,” Carmilla answered like it was the most obvious thing. “So you just want to buy pizza to tell your woes and your problems?”

       “Maybe not _talk_ to it, but just be satisfied in eating it? You know, because it would be like a perfect relationship.” Laura started thinking deeply at this shallow question.

       “If I want to be satisfied with eating something, I’d just get a girl to-go.”

       Carmilla could see even at night how the other girl’s face and neck turned crimson red and lowered her face to hide it. Carmilla smirked because, even though she was almost dying from hunger, it was a good thing laura had managed to make her keep her sense of sarcasm instead of looking like a psychopath about to murder everyone in front of her.

       They walked with both arms full and reached Laura’s car in the now almost completely empty parking lot. Laura climbed in and quickly turned the engine, motioning for Carmilla to dump her class materials in the back and to get in. She sluggishly complied and they drove for a couple of minutes until they reached the Silas’ downtown, passing by the Lustig. Laura excitedly pointed at it and said that she loved that place, especially the legs hanging from the window.  

       They spoke a little bit more, but Carmilla mostly just hummed her answers, trying to save as much energy as she could before passing out. She tried her best to look lively or something, but she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone.

       “We’re almost there, Carm.” She placed her hand on the passenger’s shoulder.

       Carmilla offered a faint smile, holding her trembling hand to her stomach to dissipate the ache it was giving her, and the other one unconsciously on top of Laura’s.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and comments! 
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so I hope not to disappoint in later chapters. Criticism is always welcomed and spread the love!
> 
> If you want to follow me on Tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (I am not Carmilla exclusively btw)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura takes Carmilla to eat pizza, and the broody lesbian feels old.

 

       Carmilla remembered that she always wanted to try this place but never did. There was something about it that caught her attention in passing, much like how the Lustig first did.

       Also like the bar, this place didn’t look like a big deal from the outside, with only two tables in the sidewalk, a broken bicycle rack, and apparently there was no signage at the main entrance. But once they stepped inside, Carmilla thought that Laura might be crazy, because there was no way this place sold pizzas. It had more of a local, artsy-underground type vibe. The place was dimly lit, partially illuminating the artwork mounted on the walls which contrasted the red and gray walls but still managed to offer a warmth to the place. A bar with concrete top was almost right in front of the door, with four shelves mounted to the wall that had a wide variety of beer bottles and cans, ranging from pilsner to stouts and everything else in between as well as draft beer available. There were people sitting at the bar in sturdy wooden high chairs, talking to each other while holding their drinks and some even shared plates with food between them. Some were drinking beer, some were sipping on wine, and there were others holding mugs filled with tea and coffee.

       To the right side of the entrance door, there was a booth that went for the entire length of the wall, with four tables that had one or two extra chairs across them. All the tables and chairs were mismatched as they ranged from squares to circles. It looked a little crowded in the main room, so a determined Laura took Carmilla’s hand and led her to the adjacent left room to see if there were any tables available. The dark haired girl was taken by surprise by the bold movement, but said nothing. She was far too hungry and too tired to analyze the situation.

       The secondary room had different and conflicting styles of artwork that ranged from illustration to paintings, printmaking and letterpress posters hung up as well, that managed to create a strange harmony between them all. On the right wall, there was a shelf with small abstract sculptures, some rocks with painted landscapes in them, and old books as well. A birdless cage hung up in the far back upper corner that housed a worn brown leather couch underneath. Next to the shelf, there was one large picnic as well as a round table that seated more than five people.

       Laura walked back to the bar with Carmilla in tow and greeted the guy who worked there along with several people already seated, leaving Carmilla standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Almost at the end of the bar there were three stools, the middle one occupied and the other two empty. The smaller girl walked closer to one of the stool patrons (his name was Sebastian, apparently) and asked if he could scoot over so there’s space for both of them. He gladly obliged, and Laura situated herself on the newly empty spot, patting the spot next to her. She moved closer to Carmilla so their knees were almost touching.

       “Hey there ladies, what can I get you to drink?” A guy with bushy, curly hair tied in a bun and big grandfather shaped glasses greeted them from behind the bar. He was wearing a shirt with a “Manos: Hands of Fate” design. Carmilla had seen the amazingly horrible cult classic movie but despite how bad it was, the design was very good. She needed to find out where he got it.

       “Two beers, Norbert. Please.” Laura smiled at him.

       “The usual?” He asked.

       “Yes. And do you know what? Can you bring us two pizzas, one marguerita and one pepperoni, please?”

       Carmilla wasn’t about to argue as Laura took the liberty and ordered her food for her. Unless she was planning on eating both herself. Not likely.

       “Sure thing, darling.” He turned to place the order on a touch screen, grabbed a walkie talkie and asked the cook if he received the order. “Roger that.”

       He poured two draft amber beers and placed the pints in front of them. Carmilla noted how this guy knew how to properly pour a beer. It had the exact amount of foam and the glass was the correct one, unlike in other places where they served everything in the same glass.

       Laura grabbed her glass and lifted it.

       “Cheers.”

       The broody girl hesitated, but raised hers anyways.

       “To what?”

       “Well, first of all for being introduced to you by LaF and Perry—”

       “—The ginger twins.” Laura glared at her disapprovingly, but immediately turned into a smile that Carmilla hadn’t seen much throughout the day.

       “And second, because you paid for all my drinks yesterday even though you didn’t have to but I appreciated it very much. And for the universe because I found some money I had forgotten in a pocket from one of my winter jackets, so now I can get to pay you back with beer and food.” She took a breath. “And for you being both an awesome and beautiful friend. So… Cheers!”

       Carmilla rolled her eyes because, could this speech get any longer?

       “You don’t have to pay me back for yesterday.” She leaned closer, giving the tiny girl her signature seduction eyes. “And even though I have to keep my air of modesty under control, thank you for acknowledging that I am awesome and beautiful. So cheers to that, creampuff.”

       Laura shook her head as a smiled, a light blush crawling from her neck to her cheeks as they toasted and took a sip. Carmilla could feel the liquid travel down her throat and immediately hitting the bottom of her stomach. She was certain she was going to get drunk pretty soon, but there was no doubt that the broody girl was in better spirits after only a couple of sips. Customers would come in, greeting Laura affectionately and talk to her for a couple of minutes. How is this tiny person even more popular than she is? And she thought _she_ was the one that got a lot of invitations to parties.

       As Laura was busy talking to them, Carmilla’s eyes began to wander and noticed more things she had missed at first glance.

       Next to the entrance door, there was a tiny yellow giraffe coat hanger, with an old brown leather jacket hanging from one of its hooks, with some dust starting to gather around it. There was a small pink butterfly net above the door frame, as well as small water gun attached to the curtain rod. On an end table next to the window, there was a plant in which Carmilla failed to notice was not in a pot, but a beer can. Behind the bar on the shelves where the beer selection was, there was a small metallic sculpture of an R2D2, as well as some sort of wooden toy-- even a tiny dinosaur hidden amongst the beer bottles and a small mexican ceramic skull. The backdrop for the shelves was a wooden panelled wall that had small diamond shaped holes where small light bulbs shined through to bring out the colors in the labels of the beer collection in the shelves. Behind where Carmilla was sitting, she noticed an old telephone booth against the wall with stickers all along its sides, overlapping one another so it was almost impossible to differentiate one from the other. Someone walked over to it and the broody girl though they were going to make a phone call, only to find out it was a charging station with power outlets.

       The more she observed, the more she was enjoying this place, making a mental note to check the name of the place before they left. Her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, but she kept on sipping anyway just to feel something replace the emptiness she felt in her stomach.

       Laura was silently watching her look around the room, lingering on certain objects that seem to stand out and little things that didn’t at first glance.

       “You like this place, don’t you.” It was more of a statement rather than a question directed at the dark haired girl.

       She smirked, unable to hide her amazement.

       “When you said pizza, I imagined you would take me to Pizza Hut or to a chain restaurant. I guess I still don’t know you very well.”

       “Stop judging a book by its cover.” She stuck her tongue out in a playful way, making Carmilla chuckle.

       “And I’m not judging you.” She took another sip. “You make me feel old by your childish attitude, even if I don’t know how old you are.”

       “Well, you’re older than I am, so that technically _does_ make you an old lady. And yes, you are judging me. Deep down we both know you are. Boom.”

       Carmilla sipped from her beer. The alcohol was making her care less of what Laura thought of her, which was stepping on dangerous waters and she knew better not to go there but ignored it. She changed her voice to sound raspy and aged.

       “But I am _old_ , that’s what old people _do_.”

       Laura burst in laughter and slapped her own thigh, leaning so far back that Carmilla was sure she was going to fall on her back if she leaned any more. Carmilla couldn’t help herself and she was laughing along with Laura, remembering how long it was since she laughed like this.

       “Oh my god that was adorable! You _have_ to do that voice again.”

       “No,” she answered in the same old voice.

       “Oh, come on, Carmilla! Do it again, please,” she begged in vain, but the other girl kept her lips sealed. “You are no fun. You really are an old lady.” She pouted her lips.

       “Shut up,” she replied, continuing with the voice while trying to hide her smile as best she could.

       Laura nudged Carmilla with her arm and smiled. At that moment, the pizzas were handed to Norbert by a person from the kitchen staff that suddenly ducked out and disappeared. He placed them in front of the now extremely hungry girls. They were a little bit big for a personal pizza, but Carmilla was not the one to complain about food, especially in these vital moments that she was starving.

       At that moment Norbert interrupted them.

       “Here you go, ladies.” Placing the plates in front of them. “Anything else I can get for you, darling?” He asked Laura.

       “Everything’s perfect, Norbert. As always.”

       The second the pizzas were before them, Carmilla’s mouth watered like it was the very first time she ever laid eyes on food. She looked at the melted cheese, with thinly sliced tomatoes and basil leaves. She took a slice and held it close to her nose, smelling the ingredients until she took a bite. The crust had a different flavor, like mesquite or something which really brought out the taste, making it both soft and crispy.

       She took another bite and had to remind herself to slow down, otherwise she could get sick. She could savor the textures and the flavors combined in what became the most amazing pizza Carmilla had ever tried. They ate in silence, both of them completely engrossed in their plates, until Laura took a slice of Carmilla’s pizza.

       “What the—”

       “Before you say anything, you have to try this one as well,” placing a slice of her pepperoni pizza in Carmilla’s plate.

       Carmilla finished her slice and took another one, sipping from her beer and sobering up at this point.

       “What do you think of it?”

       “I don’t know if the fact that I haven’t had anything to eat since yesterday is affecting my ability to judge coherently, but this is by far the _best_ pizza I have ever had in my life.”

       Laura gave her a warm smile.

       “I’m glad you liked it. You look happier compared to earlier,” she commented a matter-of-factly and took a bite from her own pizza.

       “First, you tell me I’m beautiful and then you tell me I’m miserable looking.” She left it at that and waited for Laura to start fumbling with her words. This was almost too easy.

       “No, that’s not what I meant! What I meant was that there’s like something in your eyes that looks different. I noticed that they looked kinda sad or pensative, I don’t know how to describe it. But now that we have both had something to eat, you look more animated. I mean, not more animated because you are like this broody creature of the night that has no feelings, but yeah, you know what I mean.” She took a sip from her beer and before she could ask, Norbert was already filling another glass for both of them.

       “How was your pizza, love?” His question was directed at Carmilla.

       “Pretty good.”

       “Not entirely too enthusiastic, are you?” Carmilla rolled her eyes.

       “She’s a vampire,” Laura whispered.

       “Oh, really?”

       “I already told you I’m not a vampire, cupcake. And you were drunk.”

       Laura signalled him with a wave from her hand to come closer just as another customer called for his attention a couple of seats down.

       “She is totally a vampire, Norbert. She has bite marks on her neck and everything.”

       “They are not bite marks and I’m not a vampire. They’re freckles if you must know again.” She finished her beer and slid it away. Norbert took both empty glasses away and tended the other customers. “And I’m usually on the giving end instead of the receiving.” She raised her eyebrow in Laura’s direction, making her hide the obvious blush in her cheeks.

       They were finishing their pizzas and there was a moment of silence.

       “Hey, Carmilla, I want to apologize… for yesterday and today.”

       Her features became serious, and Carmilla knew better than to make a snarky or sarcastic comment about what Laura was about to say.

       “For what?” She swallowed her pizza. She waited until the smaller girl was able to find her words.

       “For getting super drunk and being probably a pain in the butt with you yesterday. I didn’t know you and you were so nice to me and even bought me beer. Also for taking care of me in my drunkenness, and for putting up with me. And for today for not pushing me when my… phone was buzzing and not asking any questions. You respected my space and I appreciate that very much. Not many people know how to do that, but you do.”

       “No problem, cutie,” she answered after a pause, just in case Laura had more to say.

       Laura turned and gave her a tight hug filled with gratitude that made Carmilla freeze. She had to remember that this girl was _indeed_ an affectionate one and that maybe it was going to happen more often than she’s used to. It took a couple of seconds before she relaxed and embraced the heartwarming feeling it brought to her, covering up the smile appearing on her face by pressing herself closer. They stood like this for a couple of seconds, until Laura suddenly pulled herself away.

       “Sorry. I have to remind myself that not _everyone_ is as affectionate as I am.” She pulled her hair behind her ear and tried to hide her face. “If you ever feel uncomfortable, you’ll let me know, right? I mean, you don’t have to feel pressured to be touchy feely with me, it’s just something I do without even thinking. I just tend to care too much and people think that I am really needy or that I am overly affectionate and they end up breaking my heart.” She took a breath. “But I’ll back off if it’s something you don’t feel comfortable doing.” She stopped to take several gulps from her beer, scrunching her face by the slight change in taste after eating. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I just needed to say it out loud and you have been so understanding and nice to me, even though I know you might be silently judging me with your broody eyes. I just had to let you know, you know?”

       “Hey, don’t worry about it, cupcake,” Carmilla answered honestly and placed her hand in the smaller girl’s back.

       They drank another round of beers, avoiding topics like school and their pending assignments, let alone their upcoming graduation. Much like the library, they were one of the very few left when Laura paid for their meals as they walked back to her car. The night was definitely getting cold but Carmilla insisted on walking towards her apartment that was only eight blocks away, but the smaller girl would not hear of it.

       “You are definitely going to catch hypothermia if I let you do that. Plus, your stuff is in my car and it’s late and I don’t want you walking alone in the dark.” She locked her arm with Carmilla like the night before, letting out a small, triumphant huff.

       She was most definitely stepping in dangerous waters, and maybe the worst part of it was that even though she was aware of it, she was still willing to go there. It had been a long time since she had felt something close to caring for someone and it wasn’t half as bad as she expected it to be.

\-----

 

       After all that studying and nearly dying of starvation, Carmilla was looking forward to getting back to her apartment to sleep. The city was almost like a ghost town with the dim orange lights from the overhead street lamps illuminating their way as they drive back to Carmilla’s apartment. It was a longer drive since every stop light flicked to red at every intersection, but Carmilla didn’t mind as long as she kept hearing Laura talking.

       She thought of thanking the ginger twins for introducing her to the tiny person behind the wheel. Although she didn’t always showed it, she knew they both knew she cared about them in her own way. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t even bother hanging out with them anymore, or would ditch them at any opportunity she could. They were her… best friends? Maybe.

       But Laura was something else.

       They drove and turned every once in a while until they pulled over in front of her apartment building. Laura thanked her once again for hanging out with her and apologized for getting all emotional. Carmilla remembered to ask her the name of the place, to which Lauraanswered, “Rob & Pierre’s.” She leaned across the car and hugged Carmilla, touching her cheek with her own and giving her a light kiss.

       Carmilla flashed a quick smile as she turned to exit the car, opening the back seat. She grabbed her stuff more carefully than when she put them back there and shuffled them all under one arm.

       “Good night, Carm.”

       “Good night, cupcake.”

       She closed the door behind her and reached for her keys to get in her apartment building. Laura waited for her to unlock the door and waved, signaling and checking for traffic before driving off. Carmilla stood in the doorway hidden from view, watching as the car became smaller and smaller until it turned and disappeared.

       As soon the car was out of sight, she began to climb the stairs, feeling her body drained of energy as she reached her apartment door. She dropped her belongings and took off her clothes, walking towards her room, creating a path along her way and crashed in her bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries! 
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet.
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla is awakened at early hours in the morning and receives a rather unexpected surprise.

 

       Carmilla was suddenly awakened from her slumber by a loud knocking on her neighbor’s door. _Don’t they have any respect for people who are still in bed_ , she thought. Maybe it was one of her neighbors who always managed to lose their keys for the thousandth time. She had been having a very stressful couple of days and the thing she wanted before getting up to attend her classes was to sleep. She rolled over and tried to keep sleeping, pulling the blankets until it entirely covered her head to muffle the sound, grasping at the fading sensation of  being both awake and asleep at the same time. The knocking however, insisted more frequent and clearer than before in the distance. She knew it had been a good dream, Carmilla was certain of that, but the details had evaporated, creating an empty sensation in her heart. She tried to remember by shutting her eyes again, but the more she tried to focus, the harder it seemed to narrow her thoughts.

       She held her eyes shut, wondering that maybe the annoying person outside in the hall would realize that no one’s in the apartment at the moment and would decide to leave-- but no, one could only dream of such things. Her heart skipped a beat when her name was called, followed by now a banging on, wait, _her_ door.

       “Go away,” she groggily tried to raise her voice, but it came out no more than a whisper.

       “Carmilla Karnstein, open the door. Now!”

       “No,” she whined, pressing her face into the pillow.

       “I know you’re awake. Open the door this instant!”

       How could it be possible that Perry was already up and running, while she had her kindergarten children to attend to in less than an hour? That was one of the many mysteries the world had yet to answer.

       Carmilla dragged herself from bed and headed towards the door, stumbling over a pile of dirty clothes that were quickly tangling her feet, causing her to trip at the edge of the doorframe and stub her toe. She cussed out loud, skipping through the apartment while wincing at the pounding pain her foot suffered whenever it touched the floor. She fought the tears in the back of her eyes before she slowly reached the front door. Inaudible noises which sound like gingerlocks reprimanding her came from the other side of the door.

       “Ugh. What do you want?” She asked without opening the door. She looked at the clock in her microwave and it read 8:18am. _Seriously?_

       “Open up or I’m drinking your coffee. And you know I don’t joke about these things”

       She unbolted the door and opened to find one of the Bobbsey twin, balancing two cups of coffee on top of a doughnut box. She took one cup and quickly sipped from it, letting Perry manage to balance her own coffee cup now that the weight has shifted. There were many, many things that Carmilla found annoying about the ginger snap, but one thing that she always liked was that she always brought her food. Sometimes it was small things like half a sandwich, a doughnut or baked goods, which for the record were highly appreciated. But there were several occasions (more than she would like to admit) that Perry would bring her Chinese or Italian or whatever she thought would make Carmilla happy because, come on, it’s free food.  Once inside, she pushed the door shut behind her with her good foot.

       “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

       “Carmilla, sweetie, can you please put some clothes on? I brought you doughnuts, it’s the least you can do for me.”

       “So we’re in hell, now?”

       Perry shot a disapproving look towards her and Carmilla walked back to her room and put on a pair of short shorts and tank top that didn’t really make much of a difference to her clothing situation. She languidly stretched her muscles and popped her neck, a relieving sensation traveling down her spine. Once satisfied, she strolled back to the poor excuse of a kitchen she owned where gingerlocks was already sitting at her small dinner table and eating a doughnut, using a napkin as a plate.

       “Sure, go ahead. Make yourself at home.”

       She kept a firm grip on her coffee and plopped herself on an empty chair in front of Perry. Taking a considerately large gulp, she felt the warm liquid travel down her throat, landing in her stomach, and damn, that was good coffee. She made a quick mental note to ask Perry to give her the name of the coffee place so she could check it out.

       “Like I have _never_ been in your apartment, Carmilla. It looks... messier than last time I was here.” She wrinkled her nose as she scanned the apartment.

       Messy was an understatement. Carmilla’s apartment looked like a lost and found that managed to acquire a bohemian atmosphere as if purely by accident. There was an old lime green sofa in the middle of the room, an old trunk in front that’s used as a coffee table, an empty box of pizza and several beer cans scattered on top. Her kitchen was small and had a faded yellow stove with matching fridge that always seemed to have a collection of take out boxes. The sink was filled with a handful of dirty dishes which she selectively washed when she needed something.

       There was a shelf on top of the chimney with four pots containing the poor, dried remains of what once were parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme-- a gift her ex-girlfriend gave as a reference to Carmilla’s favorite song when they were still together. She tried her best to take care of them when they were together, but after their break up, she couldn’t stand the sight of them, ignoring their existence that eventually led to their doom. She had tried several times to get rid the pots, but she grew so accustomed to looking at them that they make the space feel empty whenever they were moved. Now they were accompanied by a paper crane, candles and a figurine of a black cat she found abandoned at the Fine Arts building.

       If there was one thing that Carmilla could say she was proud of in that apartment, it was the wall filled with books that she has managed to read throughout her life, many of which she was currently reading in her now last semester of college. There were books everywhere: in the small dinner table, on the sofa, in Carmilla’s bed, on her bed stand, scattered along the floor, and at the edge of the window. The edges of index cards and scraps of paper can be seen sticking out of all of her books, notes unseen written in the margins in beautiful cursive lettering.

       If Will saw this he would start his never ending sermon of cleaning up and being organized because it brings “harmony” into the apartment. Good thing he’s been spending all his time with his numbnut frat brothers, who seemed only to be good at throwing parties and organizing the homecoming goat sacrifice at Silas University. Not that she spent too much thinking about her roommate (who, unfortunately, was also her jerk half-brother) anyway. The only organized area was Willy boy’s room, decorated with diplomas and picture of trips he’d taken with their mother. He was such a momma’s boy.

       “You didn’t come here just to point out how messy my apartment is.” She sipped from her cup and grabbed a doughnut.

       Perry froze for a split second but tried to act cool and unaffected. Carmilla noticed.

       “Well,” she bit a huge chunk of the doughnut and sipped from her coffee, taking her time to chew and swallow. “LaFontaine and I sort of noticed something the other day.”

       “You did? Remind me later to congratulate you both.”

       Perry sipped again, hesitation clouding her eyes of what she was about to say.

       “We noticed how you seemed to have a good time the other day when we hung out at the Lustig.”

       They both took a sip.

       “You came all the way over here just for _that_? God, no wonder I think twice before hanging out with you two. You make such a big deal out of everything.”

       “No, it’s not that.” She took another doughnut and took a small bite.

       Carmilla finished her doughnut, and grabbed another one from the now half empty box and took another swig of coffee.

       “You know LaFontaine and I care about you. Even if you try to push us away, or try to act like you don’t care, but you are our friend. More so after what happened with... Elle.” She looked away as she spoke the name and took another bite. “And we noticed how you didn’t let anyone get through that wall you built around yourself, even if we try to make you meet new people—”

       “—like Xena? I still can’t believe you thought it would be a good idea to play matchmaker with the human skyscraper.”

       “I know, and we’re both sorry about that. But at the time it felt like you two would hit it off and make it work, rather than… how should I say this? Try to rip each other’s head off after a couple of months? And LaFontaine and I would notice how you would go with random girls almost every night and never call them and we were sad for you. But before you say anything, I know you were heartbroken, and that’s why we stopped introducing you to new girls until we felt you were ready.” She sipped from her drink. “But the other day, we noticed you seemed different. You seemed more relaxed, more like the Carmilla we used to know. And sweetie, aren’t you afraid that you might end up alone and without any friends, or someone that cares for you?”

       “I’m not alone. I have you and LaF, like you said.”

       “But what about someone else? Like, for example... Laura?”

       The second she heard the name of the tiny girl, a shy smile was painted in Carmilla’s cheeks, making her face feel warm and hid her face by drinking from her near empty cup.

       “What did you think of her?” Perry asked.

       Carmilla’s mind replayed every moment she spent with her without being able to stop. Her mind was flooded with thoughts of Laura being cute and awkward, how they brushed their arms and knees, and also getting very worried about her almost starving to death, Laura touching her neck claiming that she was a vampire. And then when she touched her hand or linked their arms together without saying anything in the matter.

       “What did I think of her?” Carmilla had a lopsided grin painted in her lips, “I would say that for the first time you got it right,” trying to compose herself as quick as she could, becoming fully aware her feelings were getting the better of her. _Get a grip Karnstein._

       “Got it right at what?”

       “With Laura. Aren’t you asking me what I thought of her?”

       “Well... Yes?” Perry answered, confusion streaking across her eyes.

       “I mean, you know her better than I do, but I guess enjoyed talking to her. She was dorky but could hold a conversation.”

       “So, you approve of her?”

       “I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t,” Carmilla answered, lifting her hand and furrowing her brow.

       Perry’s face lit up.

       “Okay, because LaFontaine and I have been thinking of going for lunch and we thought of inviting Laura to tag along.”

       “Today?” Carmilla suddenly woke up.

       “Well yes, today. It’s Friday. You never make plans on Fridays.”

       “Just because I don’t always hang out with you it doesn’t mean that I never make plans.” Carmilla answered with a matter-of-fact tone in her voice.

       Perry’s face fell and became concerned. Carmilla rolled her eyes because she already knew what was coming.

       “You may not know this, but sometimes we feel bad that you don’t have someone to talk because we feel like,” she leaned closer to Carmilla, lowered her voice and raised her brows, “we are your only friends.” There was a moment of silence. “Well, think about it because Laura has already agreed to have lunch with us. The restaurant is across town and she has a car, so she can pick you up after your class since both your classes end at the same time. I even took the liberty of giving her your number just in case she needed to contact you.” She placed her hands on top of the table and linked her fingers together.

       “I was actually thinking of asking you for her number. She’s cute and not complete pain to be around, but this is better, I guess.”

       “For her nu—Oh, honey!” Perry’s face fell.

       “What?” Her heart skip a beat.

       Perry seemed to feign interest in everything else except in Carmilla. She gave her a couple of seconds before pressing again to tell her what was bothering her all of a sudden.

       “Oh dear.” She became even more somber, if that was possible. “Honey, I thought LaFontaine told you when they texted you. I’m so sorry.”

       Carmilla’s mind skyrocketed to a million possibilities of what she didn’t knew about this tiny person she was possibly having feelings for, even after only getting to know her for a short period of time. Laura has a girlfriend. Laura was married, or separated, or divorced. Laura had an incurable disease and only had a couple of months to live. Laura was joining the peace corps and it was her farewell lunch.

       “What? Perry, what the frilly hell is it?” She could feel her heart pick up its pace.

       “Laura...” She hesitated. “Laura is… well...”

       “What?” Raggedy Anne seemed to be dumbfounded and it was driving Carmilla crazy. “Laura what?” She leaned closer to the table and stared in the dead center of her eyes. “Whatever the hell it is, just say it.” Her voice strained with apprehension.

       Perry drew a breath.

       “Laura is straight.”

       Carmilla slumped back in her chair.

        _Well... shit_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla is broody and miserable

 

       After Perry dropped the truth-bomb on Carmilla, she stayed a little longer to make sure that the dark haired girl was alright with everything that was still happening. She could feel her heart sinking but tried to hide her feelings like she almost always did, even though she’s pretty sure the redhead noticed. Before leaving, Perry asked the now broody Carmilla that if she still felt like having lunch with LaFontaine, Laura and herself, the invitation was still open.

       “Whatever. See you later, Perry.” She shut the door behind her.

       She took a long shower, hoping the boiling water would help Carmilla wash away the aching feeling that was swelling in her chest, making it difficult for her to breathe. When she got out, the feeling was still the same. Perry’s words resonated in Carmilla’s head like a voice in the deepest cave of the world. _Laura is straight_. She put on her black ripped jeans. _Laura is straight._ She pulled down a semi-transparent short sleeved black laced top. _Laura is straight_. She put on her boots and a jacket.

       How could it be possible that she had _finally_ found someone that she found amusing and attractive, and yet, never be able to be with? Maybe it was the universe getting back at her for all the girls and study buddies she had spent the night with and never called. It was a nightmare to think of.

       She walked outside her apartment, shutting the door behind her. She walked and took the bus, heading toward the university.

       How could she not have noticed it? How could she not have read the signs? Everything clearly and painfully made sense in Carmilla’s mind now. She walked to the Voltaire Building for her first class. Laura being oblivious to her stare fight with Kirsch and rather focused on him while he was fixing the beverage. Ignoring the sudden brush of their arms as well as refusing Carmilla’s offer in the beginning to buy her a drink. She attended her next class and wrote everything from the blackboard but couldn’t retain any information. Laura leaning on her shoulder because she was _actually_ sleepy, or linking their arms together when she was just freezing to death. She got a text, asking her to meet at the parking lot behind the library.

        _How could I have been such an idiot?_

       She shuffled her feet, feeling the wind on her face and tries not to trip over herself.

       Carmilla kicked herself for not being able to see the obvious and rather think that it was actually a set up.

       The car door slams and she moves her leg, trying not to let them get caught by the door.

       LaFontaine even mentioned the word “friend” in their text message to Carmilla but she automatically assumed that they meant a prospect for a girlfriend and not _literally_ a friend.

       She rested her head against the window. Street signs getting distorted and blended together as they were passing by in quick blurs.

       She was so angry with herself for pining after a straight girl. _Of all the imbecilic—_

       “And then I said, ‘Of course I’m going to have everything ready, Professor Cochrane.’ And he actually--” Her voice cuts off abruptly and concern fogs her eyes. “Carmilla, is everything okay?” Laura asked, her eyes still fixed on the road while they were both driving to the restaurant.

       Her thoughts were interrupted by the person that was making her so happy and miserable at the same time because Carmilla knew she had the worst luck ever. _No, everything’s not okay,_ Carmilla thought.

       “Wh— yeah. Everything’s okay, buttercup.”

       “You seem… quiet.” Laura quickly turned her eyes towards Carmilla’s direction before turning them back at the road again.

       “No, really, I’m okay,” she lied, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “I’m just a little tired because I got woken up early this morning against my will. And I’m hungry.” She took a breath. “So, you were saying about your exhibition?” she asked with a bored tone, hiding the fact that she was almost clenching her fists to ebb the frustration inside her.

       “Prof. Cochrane thinks that I have everything all ready for the exhibition and that I am almost done with my portfolio. You wouldn’t believe how nervous I am about it because it’s both my first solo exhibition and my BFA show which I think is pretty awesome because it means that I have to show my very best work. But I have been kinda stressed because I haven’t figured out what I want to show. I mean, I could show _all_ my work, but I don’t want the space to be overcrowded, but I don’t want to show only a handful of things because people won’t understand the meaning behind my work, either.

       “And then I have to decide whether if I want to serve wine and cheese, so I can call the catering service for an alcohol permit. If I do that, I’ll probably need to pay in advance. And there’s the music that I have to figure out, which I don’t know who to ask because I don’t think my taste in music is very ‘art exhibition’ appropriate.” Doing air quotes while still holding the steering wheel. She placed her hand on her forehead “Oh! I forgot that I still need to finish fixing the walls from the previous exhibition, which I will have to talk to the guy in charge of the gallery because they left a _mess_ in there, and it’s not fair for me to do all the work by myself.” Her eyes suddenly widened, with a sudden realization of panic. “Oh my gosh, I thought I had everything ready but-- I have nothing ready! Carmilla, what am I going to do?” She turned to quickly look at Carmilla, grabbing her jacket sleeve. “My exhibition is in less than a week and I have nothing.” Laura pressed the back of her head against her seat. “Oh god, this is _such_ a mess!”

       “Hey. Hey, hey cupcake, don’t worry, it’ll be okay.” Carmilla looked at Laura and gave her an assuring smile to hopefully make the smaller girl feel more confident. Whether it worked or not, Laura kept driving, letting the never ending radio commercials fill the space between them.

       They drove until they were on the other side of town at a place Carmilla had never been to. Laura parked next to the Weasley twins, who were in the lot waiting for them. They descended and started walking towards the entrance. As they approached the place, Carmilla rolled her eyes at the realization that this place was going to be filled with wannabe hipsters and snobs that took ten pictures of their food before posting them online. Even the name was so hipster: Lophiiphormes Cafe. Ugh, typical.

       The place was small, fitting only seven tables crammed together so it was almost impossible to walk through without bumping into something. A glass window covers the entire front wall with a huge golden calligraphy vinyl decal as their storefront logo. The chairs were made out of wood with their back a little bit higher than the usual chairs one finds at local, and normal places, according to Carmilla’s definition of normal. The tables were small, painted black with a light wooden outline covering that surrounded the top. The walls were made of concrete, with high ceilings and lightbulbs hanging at different lengths using old fashioned light bulbs, surrounded by irregular shaped golden wired ornaments. Everything seemed… too meticulously thought out, but definitely pretentious.

       Once they were seated, they were directed to take a look towards their right where the menu was on a huge chalkboard covering the entire wall. Carmilla looked at it and thought it was a waste of design potential as several of the lines were a little bit crooked or were running too close to the next column. At the bottom of the board, it was explained that the food prepared in the establishment was free range, and the vegetables were all organic from local farmers of the region in order to support local businesses. But even those small letters seemed to shift in size and tilt to the side that was bothersome to someone who had a somewhat fair knowledge of the principles in graphic design. Thank you, design 101 classes.

       “Hi everyone and welcome to the Lophiiphormes! My name is SJ and I’ll be your server today!” What kind of a name is SJ? She had her hair up in a bun and a tattoo on her left forearm of what appeared to be a feather that peeked from her rolled up sleeve. Their server was unusually chipper, but that’s to be expected from this type of establishment.

       “Hey, don’t I know you? From our intro class?” She asked the raven haired girl.

       “I doubt it,” Carmilla answered, her voice flat, not even bothering to look at the girl.

       They were seated in pairs with LaFontaine and Perry on one side, leaving Carmilla and Laura together on the other.

       They ordered their drinks which, of course, were brought out in mason jars. Carmilla rolled her eyes so hard they almost fell out of their sockets.

       “Can this place get any hipster? I think I’m gonna puke.”

       “Oh, come on Carmilla, it’s not that bad. This place is cool, and they say the food is very, very good here.” Laura said.

       “Clearly you haven’t been out that much, sweetheart. The food here is overpriced and it’s probably a novelty around town. Give it a couple of months and no one will remember it anymore.”

       The redheads were twisting their necks trying to read from the wall, making quiet gestures, pointing at different menu items and commenting on what sounds good, what sounded weird, and what sounded questionable. They were so married.

       Laura scooted closer to Carmilla and asked her what she was going to order.

       “I’m thinking falafel.” That was the only thing on the menu she could remotely recognize, although she’s never had it before. “You?” She lowered her voice as an excuse to get closer so only the light haired girl could hear her.

       “I was thinking of getting the sweet potato mash with some humus on the side. But I’m still deciding if I want that or something else.” Her eyes kept traveling through the menu and she gasped in amazement. “Oh my god. LaF, dude, I love this place already. They have--” she took a breath and pointed in an ambiguous direction towards the menu.

       LaFontaine’s eyes reflected Laura’s enthusiasm as they read ‘Sweet potato brownies.’

       “We are _definitely_ getting it for dessert.”

       Carmilla made an effort not to burst into laughter because Laura’s eyes glistened intensely by the realization of the dessert item. Laura caught on to her laugh and whipped her body around to face Carmilla.

       “They are literally the _best_ thing in the world.” Apparently everything was the best thing in the world according to her. “I’m going to order some and you’re going to try it. And I swear you are going to like it.”

       Carmilla raised an eyebrow and a devilish smirk appeared in her lips.

       “Or what?”

       “Or…” Answered a semi-flustered Laura. “I’ll do anything you ask for a week.”

       She opened her mouth to say something when —

       “—So how was your day today, Laura?” Perry interrupted.

       Laura began to retell the entire story Carmilla heard in the car on their way over. Perry told the light haired girl that if she needed any help with mounting her exhibition, she shouldn’t hesitate to call her, to which made Laura very grateful. She sipped from her tea, feeling proud and accomplished and switched her focus, turning to LaFontaine

       “And what about you, sweetie?” Turning to LaFontaine and leaned closer to them. “How were your classes today? Any more incidents with the Junior Alchemy Club and the giant mushrooms?”

       Carmilla remembered the incident with the mushrooms when LaFontaine first started as a biology teacher at the local high school. They were trying out a new lesson by having their students design an experiment observing bees and their attraction to different colors by altering flower colors with some chemicals supplied by the Junior Alchemy Club. Next thing they knew, they had to herd their entire class to safety to avoid suffocating on the heavy amount of spores some of the unexplained giant mushrooms were secreting. Carmilla never saw it, but they always said that the mushrooms grew approximately 1000% their original form from one moment to the next, and the school smelled like burning portobellos for a week.

       “I have to have a talk with the Junior Alchemy Club that they cannot, under any circumstance pull their test subjects in the caf. People are already starting to think they serve eyeballs in the soup and the list of secret ingredients in the pie is still growing. But other than that, all is well.”

       Laura giggled at the idea of being served eyeballs in the high school cafeteria.

       Perry started talking while LaFontaine fixed their eyes on her. She was recapping her day and how her children at school were making progress in class by learning how to count till 100. She then related a story about a boy getting nervous when he shared half of his sandwich to the girl he liked who had forgotten her lunchbox at home and was very hungry. And also how one of the boys arrived all excited because his older sister allowed him to play with her dolls. Perry got animated with one hand while resting her other hand on LaFontaine’s, never letting go.

       Carmilla watched them interact and entertained the thought of loving someone again as much as tweedle dee and tweedle dum loved each other. Laura leaned closer to say something but suddenly jerked back to her original sitting position as she was interrupted by the server appearing with their plates.

       The broody girl looked at her plate like a five year old meeting broccoli for the first time, scrunching her nose and lightly furrowing her brows. It looked like an overstuffed burrito with different lettuce leafs and what looked like... fried meatballs? Only they were made out of plants or vegetables or whatever it was that was in there. She tried to grab it with her hands like a burrito, but the whole thing collapsed and fell apart not so gracefully on her plate.

       Laura let out a laugh and told her she looked adorable.

        _Adorable?_ Carmilla scoffed. She thought of herself as anything _but_ adorable.

       She took out the fork and knife and began to cut the fried balls in half, noticing they were green on the inside.

        _What the hell is this?_ she thought. Well, she was very hungry and she wasn’t going to let this food go to waste. She took a small bite with some sort of dressing that was inside, grabbing a piece of the tortilla, pita, whatever it was, and ate it. After a few tries, Carmilla came to the realization that it wasn’t half bad and ate more enthusiastically, treating everything like it was a salad. She ate and her mood seemed to improve.

       “What did you think of it? Did it meet your expectations?” Laura asked.

       “I don’t like my food to be an unexpected color on the inside and not know the source of what it is. But it was good, I guess,” she replied casually as she took another bite of her falafel.

       “You guess?” Laura turned to face the dark haired girl, her eyes wide with disbelief after putting two and two together. “I can’t believe you’ve never tried it before. Carmilla, falafel is delicious. There are so many other places that we _have_ to go and try them out. Well, after my exhibition, of course.”

       Carmilla looked at Laura. Was she asking her out?

       “Yeah. It’ll be like going on a date with you to try different foods and places cause we’re friends now. Like a friend date!” She said the last part with a genuine smile.

       Her heart deflated.

       “And you’re going to try the sweet potato brownie because it’s _so_ delicious. LaFontaine gave me one when they were still in college.” She turned to face the former bio major. “Was it during your last semester or before that, LaF?”

      “Yeah. It was before that. Perry had some brownies left from over from the post midterm bash. I already ate too many of them and I ran into you looking hungry and tired, so I gave you my last one.”

       Laura smiled and thanked them.

       “How come you give her brownies and you never give me anything?” Carmilla protested.

       “Because Laura enjoys eating sweet things,” Raggedy Andy replied.

       “Which I think is something that we need to talk about,” Perry interjected after taking a sip from her drink. “I checked into your fridge the other day and everything in there is made of glucose and palm oil. I’m surprised you don’t have scurvy.”

       “I know but, delicious cookies?” She froze for a moment, Perry looking at Laura like she just did something horrible and Laura looking like she had been caught in the act.

       “Laura, sweetie. Please don’t tell me you have another stash of cookies hidden in your apartment.”

       Carmilla felt an itch on the inside of her laced shirt around her waist and tried very inconspicuously to scratch it. She didn’t wanted Laura to think that she didn’t bathe. Or worse, for Perry to think that. She knew Raggedy Anne thought her “preserve water” idealism was not a very good selling point. She scratched it and the sensation faded.

       “Cookies are very good. And delicious. Especially when it comes to helping me calm my nerves during stressful situations.”

       “But you had them hidden because…?” Carmilla asked, despite Perry’s disapproval look. She was starting to have a good time and was not wasting the opportunity for amusement in the evening.

       Laura lowered her eyes, replying that Perry would often confiscate and replace them with carrots or celery sticks. And also because her former roommate Betty would invite some of the Zetas to their dorm room and the cookies would disappear. It was a good thing for her sugar situation when her roommate decided to transfer to Princeton because she thought Silas was the weirdest university.

       “You had a Princeton girl in your room? Was she always uptight and pretended like everyone was a peasant?” Carmilla asked.

       Laura took a bite from her sweet potato mash.

       “Well, she was actually a good roommate as roommates go. She really used the chore wheel and she kept her side of the room clean.”

       Their server appeared again with dessert in hand, placing it at the center of the table with four spoons. It was baked in a cast iron skillet with the brownie at the bottom and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. _When the hell was this ordered?_ Carmilla had no idea. Laura’s eyes flooded with awe, as if it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Carmilla was looking at the brownie and then at the tiny girl, but her mind was focused on the radiant smile that appeared on Laura’s lips and how easily this girl could be amused.

       The lace in her shirt brushed against her skin and the itch returned, but she pushed it aside once more while grabbing a spoonful from the communal dessert. Carmilla tried her best in concealing how delicious the brownie tasted because she was looking forward to see if Laura was going to honor their little bargain.

       They kept on talking, Carmilla mostly listening to what her friends were saying until it was time to pay the bill. Perry and LaFontaine grabbed the bill before anyone had a chance to touch it and handed the waitress their card in one fell swoop. Both Carmilla and Laura protested, but it was too late. They wanted to thank the two for spending some time together while both girls were very busy preparing for their exams and final semester projects. Carmilla was grateful because she now had only less than ten bucks to survive the rest of the week, plus the $5.47 in her pocket.

       They left the restaurant and headed towards their cars, Laura assuring Perry that she would send her a text message when she arrived home and thanking them for her meal. Carmilla lazily hugged them before climbing back in the car she came in. The lace again was pressed against her skin and the itch was getting ridiculous at this point. Laura climbed in her car with a smile on her face. She started the engine and both cars left in separate ways.

       “So, what did you think of the place?”

       “It was… an experience.” Carmilla responded, trying to sound disaffected.

       Laura took the reins again on dominating the conversation, saying that she really enjoyed the food in the place and that she was glad that Perry and LaFontaine invited Carmilla for lunch. The broody girl looked straight on the road, trying not to think of how unbearable the persistent itch was becoming. Laura turned her eyes once again in Carmilla’s direction, and even though the dark haired girl tried her best to look indifferent, there was something her eyes couldn’t entirely hide.

       “Hey, Carmilla. You look like you are about to murder someone. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

       Carmilla let out a sigh.

       “I’m fine, cupcake. You don’t have to worry about me.” She grinded her teeth with a hint of anxiety in her voice. She sat on her hands to suppress the urge of scratching.

       Laura pulled over on the road and faced Carmilla, the latter looking at the smaller girl as to why she decided to do such an idiotic thing.

       “I may not know you for very long, but I know that something is going on.” Carmilla kept silent. “You know you can tell me, right?”

       Tell her what? That she had been having an internal struggle all day long between her stupid heart and her imbecilic brain because it was so very hard for her not to develop feelings for her? Carmilla knew better than to go in that direction.

       “I said I was fine. Now let’s get back so you can drop me at my apartment.” Raising her voice despite herself.

       “No. I’m not driving until you let me know what is going on.”

       Carmilla insisted everything was fine… but now the itch was spreading across her forearm.

       “Can you please just drive before I get out of this car and walk myself?” She was getting on edge, and she couldn’t stop scratching even if she wanted.

       “Carmilla, take your jacket off. I want to see something.” The air inside the car became tense and serious.

       She instinctively raised her eyebrow.

       “Oh, you want to go there already? I’m a bit old fashioned but I’m not complaining.”

       Laura shot her a disapproving look. Carmilla rolled her eyes and did as she was told.

       “Carm… do you know any drug stores nearby?” Laura’s eyes widened with terror.

       “If you remember perfectly, I live on the other side of town, cupcake.”

       She quickly turned the engine and went back on the road. Carmilla looked at her arm and understood the sudden change in Laura’s facial expression, feeling the dread sink deeper in her chest as her heart skipped a beat.

       “This is not good.”

       “No.” Laura answered, her eyes fixed on the road and stepping harder on the gas pedal.

       Carmilla fixed her eyes on the road again, and for the first time in a very long time, she was afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm CST.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla is a itchy and a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this so late, I have been very busy adulting and shit and thought today was Wednesgay rather than Thursgay, here you go guys!

 

       Everything seemed to move both slow and fast at the same time. A door suddenly opened without her moving a muscle and an unexplained force ushered her gently towards her apartment, shutting the door automatically behind her. Fortunately, the itch that was driving her insane an hour ago was slowly fading. If she could only accelerate the healing process since she couldn’t help but leave scratch marks visible in her arms, creating a sort of grid if she paid enough attention to it. The plastic bottle cupped in her hand was a quarter empty by now. Or was it half empty?

       “Uh… Carmilla. Did you take some more Benadryl while I was driving over here? Cause you already had your recommended dosage back in the store.” Laura asked as she closed the door behind them.

       “Maybe,” she lingered out with her eyes closed, sitting on something that was soft and comfortable. She reached for her pockets and noticed something was missing.

       “Someone robbed me.” She managed to open her eyes halfway and furrowed her brow.

       “What?” Laura asked, panic evident in her voice.

       “I had like $5 in my pockets. Now they’re gone. Great, someone robbed me and made off with a fortune.”

       The smaller girl let out a sigh and chuckled.

       “Nobody robbed you, Carmilla. You insisted on handing me money to buy the Benadryl for you. You even started drinking straight from the bottle before we paid for it, remember?”

       Well, maybe it might have been more than what she was supposed to drink.

       Carmilla closed her eyes and felt how everything seemed to move, like she was the center of gravity and everything was rotating around her.

       With a light tapping on her shoulder she came back to her senses, or at least what was left of them. Making an effort to keep her eyes open, she found a rather heavy mug in her hand with the Marauder’s Map printed around it. She examined the mug, not recognizing it from her belongings and she knew it wasn’t hers, much less William’s. He once expressed his distaste for both books and movies, clearly stating that “the idea of magic was a concept both ridiculous and absurd that only people who are extremely dumb would believe it to be real.” He sounded just like their mother.

       Carmilla clumsily tried to untie her boots with one hand, while balancing her mug with the other. She finally slipped them off, not caring where they were going to land as she tossed them around the room.

       Her eyelids closed against her will, again, and the distant sound of a vacuum cleaner with an overly exhausted engine could be heard in the distance, followed by three telephone ringings. She heard the sound for probably seven minutes, when her eyes jerked open and she came back to her senses. Suddenly, everything smelled like hot chocolate and Laura was holding a mug in her hand, closing the door of her microwave as she began to sip from it.

       Disoriented by the sound of the vacuum cleaner she did not possessed, she looked around. _And where did the vacuum cleaner come from?_ Carmilla tried to understand how long it was she passed out, when it suddenly dawned on her how everything around her was cleaned. Even her wooden floors were a tad bit less opaque since she entered her apartment not even ten minutes ago. She touched the couch and it felt softer, like if someone took the liberty of cleaning the cushions and dusted the whole place. Everything was neatly placed and even the papers that she had scattered on the floors were gone.

       “Did you vacuum around me?” She asked Laura as her eyes looked around the space, trying to recognize any part of it.  

       “Um… no?” Carmilla realized that Laura was suddenly sitting at a desk, organizing some film canisters and shuffling some papers around. Turning to eye Carmilla, she blinked and looked around, confused. How could such a small person move so fast without her noticing was beyond her comprehension.

       “Apparently, someone broke into my apartment,” she said, looking around her nearly unrecognizable apartment as Laura shook her head. “No, really, someone came to my apartment and cleaned and rearranged everything. Remind me to kill Willy boy when he gets here, creampuff.”

       Laura laughed and Carmilla was taken by surprise, furrowing her brows again. What was so damn funny about someone breaking and entering?

       “We’re not in your apartment, Carmilla. We’re in _my_ apartment.”

       Carmilla looked at her surroundings and began to notice the difference that were extremely obvious. This apartment is a tad bit smaller, yet cozier than any other apartment she’d been in. And she had been in _many_ apartments throughout her life.

       It smelled... sweet. Like baked goods and a hint of something else Carmilla couldn’t place a finger on. Laura was seated in an old wooden desk in the corner of the room with opened books and several notes scattered around. The couch was sand brown, with a fluffy crocheted blanket on top, orange flowers, green leaves, and a grid of black stripes encompassing it. There were two throw pillows of similar shade to the couch, one on each edge of the couch. The place reminded Carmilla of a much nicer version of her grandmother’s house. Photographs completely covered the walls, both big and small at different heights so that it was practically impossible to see the paint underneath. And then there was one poster between two tall windows that at first Carmilla had a hard time recognizing because it was somewhat abstract, but once she studied it it looked like... Oh god, Dr. Who? _The cupcake likes Dr. Who and Harry Potter? What’s next, Taylor Swift and One Direction? You really know how to pick them, Karnstein,_ she thought.

      “Hey, do you mind if I leave you for a couple of minutes? I really need to go to the bathroom.” She began to walk away but paused to turn and point at Carmilla’s mug. “Drink your water. I’ll be back.”

       Carmilla was soon by herself and began scratching her arm as the throw pillow brushed her, a slight itch rippling through. Examining the length of her arms, Carmilla noticed how grotesque they looked and forced herself from scratching any further. _Stupid falafel, with your mystery green ingredients,_ Carmilla grumbled. The sight of them intensified the urge to scratch and she obviously couldn’t do that, and drinking more Benadryl for her allergy was out of the question.

       She stood up right away and felt how everything seemed to be out of focus for a couple of seconds before she regained her balance, spilling some water in her shirt. It was strange, feeling the effects of being drunk without being _actually_ drunk.

       She walked towards the smallest kitchen Carmilla had ever seen in her life, with the maximum capacity of one person. The refrigerator door seemed to be sealed shut as Carmilla tried pulling on the handle. She pulled again but it wouldn’t budge. Several attempts passed after she pulled again with enough force that the door flung open, causing her to lose balance once again, banging the door on the counter behind her. The sudden movement made Carmilla regain her senses, pushing down the drowsiness that clouded her mind several minutes ago.

       “Everything okay?” a muffled voice asked.

       Carmilla looked around and saw no one there.

       “Yeah?” She curiously responded to an empty room, trying to regain her balance. She looked around, trying to find the source of the voice and realization dawned on her after a couple of seconds that Laura ducked in the bathroom.

       As she held the door open, there were a couple of grape soda cans, some leftover chocolate cake with a fork already inserted in it, and an unopened bag of baby carrots. She closed the door and opened the only cabinet in the whole kitchen and was met with some peanut butter, snack cakes, and a kilo of white rice— a clear indication that Perry has been in Laura’s place. After closing the cabinet doors, she remembered the conversation they had earlier regarding a “secret stash” of cookies. She looked around, her senses almost back to their original acuteness, and tried to think of the possible places cookies could be found. Feeling the smooth counter, she abandoned the Marauders’ Map mug by the sink in pursuit of snacks.

       She searched in drawers, under the sofa, behind the bigger photographs, the books on the writing table, when the drawers caught her attention. She inspected the top drawer and it was a dead end. Middle drawer— still no luck. _Third time’s the charm?_ She asked herself and opened the last drawer at the bottom. There weren’t many things in that drawer compared to the other two, which sparked Carmilla’s curiosity. She shuffled some unused photography films, as well as several small notebooks around a bit and bingo!

       A door slightly squeaked open and Carmilla snatched the box of cookies and ran as fast she possibly could back to the sofa, hiding her newfound treasure under the throw pillow closest to her, almost hitting herself in the face by tripping over her boots. She held one side of the sofa to hold her body in place and not kill herself in the process. Even though she was feeling better, she still had to be careful as sudden movements still made her lose her balance. Before she knew it, a pair of hands were holding her and led her to sit down, bringing a slight itchiness to her arms that Carmilla had forgotten.

       “Are you okay, Carmilla? Please tell me that you’re okay.”

       The genuine concern Laura showed for the her made her heart feel warm and she did her best to conceal the smile that was trying to emerge from her lips.

       “I’m fine, cupcake. I just wanted to stretch my legs,” she half lied.

       “It’s just that I don’t want you hitting yourself and make things worse because then I would have to call Perry or LaFontaine or even my dad and I know for sure they would _all_ kill me.”  

       “I’m not going to die, cutie.” She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. “Besides, I have never heard of anyone dying of drinking a tad bit too much Benadryl.”

       Laura seemed relieved by hearing the last part and sat down on the opposite side of the sofa, completely ignorant of the delicious cookies hidden within close proximity. When Laura finally got situated on the couch, the broody allergic girl looked in the direction of the light haired one, noticing her clothes had been replaced. As she distinguished what Laura was wearing, her eyes rolled again because, of course, she would be into school pride and everything that Carmilla was against. She was wearing blue pajama pants with thin, vertical light gray stripes and an oversized gray hoodie, with white lettering and the school seal in cliché, blocky college type that said “Silas U.”  The sleeves had to be rolled up because they were too long for her small frame. She pulled her legs up on the couch and Carmilla noticed she was wearing canary yellow and black toe socks.

       Silence lingered among them, broken when Carmilla asked Laura if she could bring her cup from the counter. The latter quickly got up and fetched it while the dark haired girl sneakily took a cookie from under the pillow and shoved in her mouth, biting it so the round shape wasn’t visible through her cheeks. Laura handed her the Harry Potter mug and sat down, pulling her legs up again on the couch and took her own mug that was, of course, in the shape of the Tardis and held it with both hands.

       “Are you feeling better?” Concern apparent in her voice.

       She nodded in response, unable to make a sound because she was trying really hard to inconspicuously chew the cookie. Carmilla lazily pretended to sip from her drink and took her eyes from Laura and fixed her sight ahead of her. Her head lowered, allowing her long hair to cover her face as well as her neck and feigned dozing off so she could keep continue chewing the cookie without getting caught. She remained like that even after she finished, waiting for Laura to do something to pretend like she was startled when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

       “Hey, Carmilla. I will be right back. Do you think you can stay awake for a couple of minutes?”

       “I’ll do my best.” She tried to make her eyes as sleepy as she possibly could. _I better get an Oscar for this performance,_ Carmilla thought.

       And just like that, Laura disappeared and Carmilla quickly grabbed another cookie and ate it as quickly as she could. She started enjoying playing this game of how many cookies she could eat before the smaller girl figured it out. A smirk appeared on her lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it came and was replaced by a bored, drowsy expression on her face.

       “Here.” Laura placed something on Carmilla’s lap.

       “What’s this?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

       “Some pajamas for you. In case you fall asleep, at least you’ll be comfortable, you know? What with the droopy eyes and falling asleep on my couch scenario you have going on there.”

       Carmilla lowered her head and hid the smile that creeped though her cheeks, unable to understand how was it that she could be so hospitable and kind to a person she met several days ago. She then remembered that it was Laura she was talking about, the tiny girl that seemed to be overly affectionate towards everything and everyone.

       “Of course.” She swallowed some cookie remnants.

       “You can change in the bathroom. It is the first door on the left.”

       Carmilla slowly headed towards the door and shut it behind her. She got out of her itchy clothes, dropping them on the floor and instantly felt relief travel around her body; the complete opposite to how she had been even an hour ago. Her rashes were now considerably less prominent across her body, especially in her arms, and she had to resist the urge to scratch them once again. She looked gross if anyone asked her. _How can the cutie look at this and not show the slightest sign of disgust?_ Carmilla thought.

       In the bundle of clothes Laura gave her, there was a black t-shirt with a quote that said, “Girl the Hell Up!” in white cursive lettering. Carmilla smiled when she looked at it, thinking it was probably the best t-shirt Laura could ever possess.  As she finished pulling down the shirt, she looked at the pajama pants and rolled her eyes. Of course, she would get the honor of wearing black pants with Harry Potter’s lightning bolt as a pattern in them to match her mug. She did her best at trying to keep her balance, holding onto the sink as she gingerly pulled them up.

       She looked at herself in the mirror and noticed how sleepy her eyes looked. Even though she knew she wasn’t tired, it was still too early in the night for her to get some rest, her eyes showed the contrary. _Stupid Benadryl for being such a party pooper_. Splashing some water on her face and running her fingers through her hair, Carmilla started to braid it when there was a knock on the door.

       “Are you still alive in there, Carmilla?” Laura called from the other side of the door.

       “Yeah.” She resumed her braid, took one last look at herself in the mirror and returned to the smaller girl who was sitting in the same position as before. The throw pillow still in the same place Carmilla left it.

       She slumped back to her side of the couch, aware of the pair of curious eyes following her every movement.

       “See something you like, cutie?” she teased, lazily raising an eyebrow.

       Laura shook her head, a blush formed in her cheeks. She composed herself and leaned closer to Carmilla, asking her to turn her face so she could take a look at her hair. Carmilla obliged, turning her face slightly so she could still see a fraction of the girl that extended her hand and held her braid with her fingers.

       “This is a French braid, right?”

       “Sure is.” She held her breath at the sudden touch.

       “Who taught you how to make it?”

       “A girl.”

       “A girl as in... A girlfriend?” Laura asked, curiosity hinting her voice.

       “Ex,” she answered, her tone coming out harsh, despite Carmilla’s effort to make it come out flat as a painful set of memories flashed through Carmilla’s thoughts.

       “Oh.” Her voice lost the playfulness in it. “I’m sorry.”

       “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

       There was another moment of silence filling the room. Carmilla pushed aside the thoughts flooding her mind that reminded her of the last person she fully loved, both the good and the bad. She turned her head, shaking those thoughts from her mind and looked at the girl next to her.

       “Do you want me to teach you?”

       “No. I mean, yes. I mean, I want you to but you seem to, like, you are about to fall asleep at any second and it's just that... I mean, I _am_ grateful you are here since it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone,” she froze for a second, “I mean, a friend here, in my apartment since Betty left. But if you don’t want to, then obviously you don’t have to.” She took a breath. “You should get some rest instead.”

       Carmilla asked Laura to wait for her in the bathroom, bringing a smile as wide as her cheeks could allow and lightly skipped her way to the other room. Before walking across the room to where Laura was waiting for her, she took another opportunity and grabbed a cookie, chewing it as quick as she could before she reached the bathroom. Laura already placed a comb and some hairbands on the small vanity top. A smile still present in her cheeks, she reminded Carmilla of a six year old standing in front of the mirror. Rolling her eyes to pretend like she was not amused by Laura’s energy, Carmilla stood behind her, unable to see her own reflection. As she began grabbing the first strands of hair, her arms felt heavy and the slight height difference wasn’t helping much, but she explained the process as best she could with a bored tone. The shorter girl seemed to notice how Carmilla’s arms constantly shifted while holding her hair and flexed her knees to lower herself.

       Relieved from extending her arms too high, the broody girl quickly resumed her work. The smaller girl made mental notes as she observed, but soon her facial expression changed from concentrated to weary.

       “Um, Carmilla, can you hold on for a second? My knees are getting sore.” She stood up and stretched her legs; the broody girl not letting go of her hair. “Wait, let me try something.” And she spread her legs apart, getting even shorter than before. Like if that was even possible.

       Carmilla resumed her work, slowly caressing the girl’s hair and running her fingers through it, pulling strands of soft, luscious hair, and combing them with her fingers while braiding them. If she was going to have a moment with this girl, this was probably it. Mid-braid, she noticed that Laura’s hair smelled like lavender, the mystery smell that filled the apartment. Meticulously working, both girls found themselves without the need to say a word to each other.

       When she was done, she extended her hand and Laura automatically provided the hair band to secure her hair. To let her know she was done, Carmilla placed both hands on her shoulders, lightly squeezing them which brought a small giggle from her. She turned and they were so close that Carmilla held her breath without being aware of it. _Carmilla, control yourself. Don’t do anything stupid,_ she thought.

       They stood close together for a couple of seconds until the taller girl came back to her senses and distanced herself by holding a smaller mirror so Laura could look at her hair through the reflection.

       “Yours looks so much better than mine, but I mean, you are beautiful so I guess that goes hand in hand.” She look surprised at the sudden realization of what she just said, making her blush. But before Carmilla could say anything, Laura threw herself to give the dark haired girl a tight hug filled with affection. “Thank you so much, Carmilla.”  She tensed a little bit, but soon returned the girl’s embrace, remembering what she might still be able to feel after so much suffering and making her heart impermeable to emotions.

       After they broke the embrace, Carmilla walked out of the bathroom and went back to the couch and snatched another cookie before Laura could notice, almost getting caught by the girl trailing behind her.

       They talked for hours about a wide range of topics, from their plans after graduating, to favorite TV series and even about the difference between eating cereal with a bowl or with a mug. Carmilla was entranced by the conversation she was able to hold with Laura that she was fighting with all her might to keep her eyes open, but there was something sweet and soothing in the other girl’s voice that was dozing her off despite her best efforts.

       “Carmilla? Are you falling asleep?”

       “I’m just resting my eyes, but keep talking buttercup, I’m listening.”

       “Carm, come on. You don’t have to pretend around me. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

       And she took Carmilla’s hand and led her to the bedroom, where there was a twin sized bed against the wall with an owl shaped lamp on top of the bed stand, with some books and pictures as well. Carmilla climbed in the bed and plopped her head on a yellow pillow that was there, flopping herself on her belly.

       “Here, you can use this pi— did you just steal my yellow pillow?” she asked.

       “No.”

       “You totally just stole my yellow pillow. You could have asked first.”

       “And where’s the fun in that, cutie?” she replied, already feeling her body feeling heavy as sleep was spreading.

       “I’m allowing it this time because you’re not feeling well.” She climbed into bed and pulled up the sheets. “Speaking of, how are you feeling? Is the itchiness gone? Let me look at your arm.”

       Carmilla barely found the energy to extend her arm as Laura took it and carefully examined it.

       “The itchiness has faded already,” she mumbled, digging her head deeper in the pillow. The smaller girl was facing up, turning her head to look at the already half asleep girl.

       “That’s good news, actually. Let’s hope that they will be completely gone by tomorrow.” She shut the owl lamp off.

       Laura crawled closer and that their arms and part of their legs were touching. There was a slow burning in Carmilla’s heart and the pit of her stomach as the electricity bounced between their skin. Carmilla was glad the lights were off as a smile crept along her lips, but was short lived by remembering Perry’s words. _She’s straight._

       “Sorry, my heater doesn’t work very well.”

       “Mmhmm.”

       She was drifting to sleep but was jolted back to her senses when the tiny girl let out a breathy whisper.

       “Good night, Carmilla.” She sighed and turned to face the dark haired girl, closing her eyes.

       Slightly more awake now, Carmilla observed how Laura’s chest began to rise and fall in a soothing manner for a couple of minutes. Sensing an opportunity to readjust and get more comfortable, she felt something holding her in place as she tried to twist around. By touching and feeling her way in the dark and under the covers, she could make out a balled up hand tugging at the bottom of her shirt. She slightly shifted as to not wake the other girl, tracing the soft glow from an outside light source that illuminated her soft features before her eyes began to shut.

       “Good night, cupcake.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla is a ball of jelly

       

       As her senses became more acute, Carmilla noticed it had been weeks, maybe even months since she had been able to get a full night’s rest without any interruptions from her neighbors or the never ending buzz of her phone. She opened her eyes and noticed that everything seemed… different.

       There was a constant yet irregular light tapping coming from the window across the room, bringing a smile on the dark haired girl’s lips. Carmilla loved the rain, especially during the colder seasons; she could only think of spending the day reading with a coffee and maybe a cigarette in hand, if she could afford any. She looked around and noticed a small bundle curled up underneath the blankets, slowly rising and falling, keeping time with Carmilla’s own deep breathes. Carefully, she pulled the blanket and found Laura still lost in her dreams. She paused for a couple of minutes, looking at the girl that was slowly but steadily occupying all of her thoughts. Did she just say that? Ugh. If only she wasn’t so cute, she could still act like she was disaffected and didn’t give two shits about the world around her. She carefully covered her back up and grabbed the yellow pillow, gently placing it against the bed stand. Reaching aimlessly behind her, she felt the familiar touch of a book and grabbed it, not looking at the title or cover but flipped to a random page. Reaching behind her again, she carefully switched the owl lamp and was sure to make the least amount of noise as possible.

       It was a peaceful moment, with the water droplets traveling down the window and the grayness covering the room and the world around her.  The lamp offered her enough light so she could read without straining her eyesight, but luckily wasn’t bright enough to wake up the girl next to her as she flipped through the pages. She breezed through a couple chapters. The book wasn’t bad, but it was definitely something that Carmilla wouldn’t even dream of being found scanning through at a bookstore.

       Minutes went by without being noticed when the irregular shape underneath the blankets shifted and a small, sleepy face was visible, crawling to the open air. Carmilla’s eyes hadn't left the book, when a cracked voice mewed and stretched its limbs, drowsily opening its eyes and stared at her, a smile appearing on her lips. She was able to see from her peripheral vision, and once she caught Laura smiling at her, she lost her place and couldn’t recall what she had just read.

       “Good morning.”

       “Morning, cutie.”

       “Have you been awake long?”

       The dark haired girl slightly shook her head without taking the eyes off the text, but not bothering to make an effort to continue with her reading. She placed the book back in its original place and looked at the smaller girl next to her.

       “How did you sleep?” Laura asked as she shifted her body, popping some of her joints underneath the bedsheets before slumping back in the bed.

       “Better than what I expected, actually.” She noticed Laura opened her lips to say something and quickly interrupted. “And no, you didn’t snore, in case you were wondering.”

       “Oh, good. That’s probably good to know.” She let out a relieved breath. “How are your allergies?”

       Carmilla lowered her eyes to see her arms and they were as good as new minus a few scratch marks. Laura began to move and followed the position the dark haired had taken, placing the pillow against the bedstand and resting her head on the crook of Carmilla’s shoulder. The taller girl’s heart decided this was a good time to pick up its pace and forgot what breathing meant.

       “What are your thoughts and stance over breakfast? Are you hungry?”

       “I am pro-food. Always. And yes, I am starving.” She answered matter-of-factly.

       “Do you want to do something? Like go and grab something to eat, or do you want me to drop you home?”

       “You make it sound like we spent the night together, cupcake.”

       “Well, didn’t we? I mean we both slept in the same bed which, by definition, means to sleep together,” Laura answered playfully, teasing the other girl by trying to elbow her belly.

       At that moment, her phone buzzed, making Laura shuffle out of bed towards the noise next to her dresser. She looked at it and Carmilla could see her eyes look both annoyed and sad at the same time. She placed her phone back on the dresser and walked back to Carmilla, resuming the position she once had before.

       “Everything alright, creampuff?” Carmilla asked.

       “Yeah. It’s nothing, really.” She snuggled back to Carmilla. “Some people just don’t know how to take a hint, you know?”

       The phone buzzed again and Laura went to turn it off without even bothering to look at the screen. She quickly changed from disheartened to cheerful.

       “So, breakfast?” She tried to look as animated as best she could, but Carmilla knew that something, or someone on the phone, was bothering her. Meanwhile, her stomach was beginning to impersonate a dying whale again.

       “Sure. But this time I’m choosing the place.”

       “Oh, come on! I know a place that is fairly close to your apartment and they have the best pancakes. If you don’t like it, then you get to choose twice next time.”

       Carmilla sighed in defeat and accepted, leaving a happy and bouncy Laura to go and take a quick shower. But she came back a minute after and placed a bundle of black things on her dresser before finally shutting the bathroom door behind her.

       Music began to play from behind the door that ranged from Spice Girls to Blink 182 to even Missy Elliott. Carmilla found it amusing that Laura was singing without missing a single word, even managing to imitate the guitar solos with her mouth when the occasion required it. The dark haired girl took the opportunity and changed back to her clothes that had been folded and placed on the Laura’s dresser, leaving the ones that were lent to her in a messy bundle on the edge of the bed.

       She sauntered towards the living room and ultimately the couch to grab some of the cookies she hid under the throw pillow the night before. Looking around, she stood and took in more of the details of her surrounding she originally missed. The pictures were a collection of beautifully photographed images of Laura and probably her father together, going back to her teenage years till present day. There was one looking down at them, where they were apparently about to jump from a waterfall. Another one, taken from behind in the desert of them both sitting at the edge of a cliff, looking at the sunset in front of them, their silhouettes contrasting the amazing colors in the sky in front of them. Carmilla noticed one of Laura sitting up, her entire body hidden behind a sleeping bag next to a campfire, her face being the only visible thing in the forest with a tent next to her. And there was one that brought a smile on her face because it was both Laura and the man, sitting in the hood of a car, doing gangster signs with their fingers while their luggage and even surfboards were secured in the top of a mini SUV. Some other photographs were of Laura posing with various friends and a couple were with the ginger twins. There were also charcoal and graphite drawings of quick, yet exquisite gesture drawings of body figures and abstract objects, and some smaller watercolor paintings scattered amongst the walls.

       Gathering from the photographs, Laura was a very happy person which filled Carmilla with mixed emotions ranging from jealousy to confusion. How can a person be filled with so much love and full of life, want to go and hang out with someone as broody and filled with darkness as herself?

       Carmilla kept looking around, grabbing another cookie while looking at the tiny figurines scattered through the tables and her writing desk. There was a small decorative table underneath the Dr. Who poster with an elephant surrounded by traditional Indian decorations, a beautiful wooden fox with intricate carvings in it, and an old turquoise colored typewriter. On top of her writing desk were old cameras on a shelf, including one where the lense looked like an accordion with the shutter and exposure dials visible. Carmilla gently pulled it down and began to carefully observe the camera in detail, wondering if it even worked.

       “I didn’t know you were into photography.”

       Laura had walked out of the bathroom draped in a towel, her damp hair fell to her shoulders and Carmilla could see her toned legs. She tried her very best not to direct her eyes towards the tiny girls breasts to not offend the light haired girl in front of her. _Dammit, stop being so gay, Karnstein_.

       “Oh, um… Not much. I just think it’s a beautiful camera.” She looked away because her cheeks suddenly felt warm, her heart rate increasing. “I was just curious. I’ve never been able to see one of these from up close.”

       “I have some film if you ever want to give them a try. I can teach you some tricks, you know? I mean if you’d like to, of course.”

       Carmilla kept her face hidden from Laura, a shy smile appeared in her lips.

       “I think I’d like that very much.” Her voice came out smaller than what she intended.

       Laura genuinely and wholeheartedly smiled at Carmilla.

       “Okay.” She beamed with excitement. “So I’m gonna go and get changed and then after we have some breakfast we can go and shoot some things, okay?”

       “Yeah.”

       Laura bounced her way back to her room while Carmilla sat down on the sofa, placing her feet on top of the coffee table in front of her and moved the hidden stash of cookies to her lap before eating them. A couple of minutes pass by with Laura talking from behind the bedroom door about what they could eat and the places they could go. While she was talking, Carmilla wondered how was it possible to be able to have so much energy in the morning, or throughout the day, for that matter. It was as if the smaller girl was on a perpetual sugar rush, which was understandable. Living out of grape soda, cookies, chocolate cake and snack cakes would have the same effect on anyone.

       “Okay, I’m done.” Laura’s figure appeared at the corner of Carmilla’s peripheral vision. Her eyes met Carmilla’s when something else caught her attention, her smile gradually fading. “Are tho…” She pointed a finger. “Are those my cookies?”

       “No.” Carmilla answered, and took another bite from the cookie already in her hand.

       Laura went to her writing desk and opened the last drawer, confirming her suspicion.

       “You took my secret stash of cookies without asking?”

       “They were right there for everyone to see.”

       “They were hidden. In my drawer! You opened my drawer and took my cookies like it was the _normal_ thing to do!” Her features indicated she was annoyed, clenching her fists.

       “I saved you one, cutie. Did you think that I would have eaten them all without sharing with you?”

       “One. You saved me one. Great. That’s great. Might as well just eat it while you’re at it.”

       Carmilla shrugged her shoulder and obliged by eating last the cookie, a devious smile appearing in her lips. She was enjoying herself too much by making the tiny girl in front of her irritated. Laura furrowed her brows and pouted her lips, clenching her fists and looking even more adorable than she already was. At least Carmilla thought so.

       “That bunched up little face you make when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.”

       “I wonder how hilarious it will be when I tell Perry about this.”

       “You whining to Perry? I’d pay to see that.”

       “You think I won’t?”

       “Be my guest.” She looked her straight to the eye, and slumped lazily back to the couch, a smile still visible in her lips. “And what is she going to do? Reprimand me for eating the cookies _you_ keep hidden so she won’t confiscate them? I don’t think so.”

       Laura seemed to be cornered and understood the situation and consequences of her telling the curly ginger would bring. Carmilla finished the last cookie and slipped on her boots, both heading to the front door and took their respective jackets from the coat hanger before exiting the apartment. Laura closed the door behind them and they walked out to the hall in silence, the smaller girl frowning, while Carmilla had a satisfied smile in her cheeks.

\---

       They made a pit stop at Carmilla’s apartment so she could quickly change her clothes before hitting the road again. Driving around for a couple of minutes, they reached their destination and parked in front of a building that Carmilla could have sworn she had seen before, but couldn’t remember when. They descended Laura’s car and began to walk in the rain through the parking lot without saying much to each other, the hunger was overwhelming on both of their ends. The rain was still falling constantly and didn’t seem like it was going to stop anytime soon, overcasting a grey shade to the buildings and the trees around them. As they approached the place, several details became prominent that seemed to ring a bell as to where they were. The place looked extremely different from her first visit to this one.

       “Are we going to have breakfast here?”

       “Yeah, didn’t I tell you?” Her voice less animated than usual. “They have the best pancakes in this area.”

       Apparently they had the best of everything at “Rob & Pierre’s.” They opened the door and felt the warmth brush their faces and they took their jackets off. The place was exactly the same as Carmilla remembered it, the only difference was that now the artwork had changed from her last visit. She looked around to see where she could place her jacket, when Laura motioned underneath the bar, where hooks were placed for that same reason. They both hung their belongings and took their seats at the bar. Carmilla was hungry already and was in desperate need of some caffeine and food in her system but no one was there to take their orders, until finally she heard someone approaching from within the other side of the room.

       “I was beginning to think this was a self-serve establishment.”

       “Of course not!” Laura protested. “They must have been busy with the kitchen or something. It usually happens, you know? But don’t worry, we will get you some food and some coffee in no time,” she reassured, patting Carmilla’s thigh.

       “Hey Laura!” A girl whose voice was somewhat familiar to Carmilla perked her interest. Laura stepped down from her stool and gave the girl a hug. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

       As they were hugging each other, Carmilla glanced towards them and noticed who their server was. _Of all the coffee joints, in all the towns, in all the world, I had to walk into hers. Fuck._ She quickly looked down and took out her phone from her bag, hiding her face by placing her hand on her forehead, while looking at different apps.

       “I know! Well, I have been super busy with school and getting ready for my finals, plus there’s also my graduation and after that comes the responsible adult crap I don’t even want to think about. Oh, and then there’s my exhibition that I told you about last time I came here. But I mean, other than that, I’ve been very good.”

       “Well, I’m glad. I missed you coming by and talking to me while I finish my shift.” They broke their embrace.

       “Oh, let me introduce you. This is my new friend, Carmilla. Carmilla this is—

       She looked up, and there she was. Fair skin, blue eyes, the wavy ginger hair and the longest legs Carmilla had ever seen.

       “I know.” Danny greeted her unenthusiastically. “Hey.”

       “Hey.” She replied flatly.

       “Do you guys… know each other?” Laura asked, pointing her finger and furrowing her brows as her eyes switched from Danny to Carmilla and back again.

       “Yeah, um… We dated for a while but it didn’t work out.” Danny replied. It was definitely an awkward place to be. “So… Latte with regular milk?” Asking Carmilla, tension behind her words.

       “Yeah,” she replied, looking back down at her phone.

       Danny turned, grabbed two mugs and began to work the machines. Carmilla looked down, feeling the anger ebbing slowly but tried to push it away. Yes, it was definitely karma getting back at her.

       “Hey, are you okay?” Laura whispered, leaning very close to her.

       “Yeah. Don’t worry about it, cupcake.”

       “Well, if this is an uncomfortable situation for you we can go somewhere else if you’d like.”

       “No, it’s fine. Really.” She looked at her straight in the eye, trying her best to sound assured.

       “You sure?” Her voice came out fainter than a whisper, if that's even possible.

       They broke their proximity when the ginger giant loudly placed their mugs on the counter, bringing them all again to the tense situation they shared only a couple of minutes ago. Carmilla sipped from her drink and it might not be the best coffee she had tasted, but it was better than nothing. Or maybe it was the fact that Danny was the one that made it.

       Laura was cheerful again and took her mug with both her hands to inhale the smell of hot chocolate, closing her eyes before taking a sip. It was obviously how much the smaller girl was enjoying her warm drink.

       “Do you want a menu?” Danny directed the question to Carmilla.

       “No, we’re going to have the pancakes, Danny.” Laura caught Danny’s attention. “Two, please.” She held up two fingers and smiled. “Oh, with bacon.”

       “Coming right up.” She pressed some buttons on the touch screen and an unintelligible voice said something on the walkie talkie, to which the amazon answered. She went to sit on top of the counter towards the end of the bar, the furthest possible from Carmilla, and began to read from a book she took out from her bag.

       “Do you always drink hot chocolate?” The dark haired asked, leaning a little bit closer. Her subtle movement made the tall girl glare at her and turn back to her reading.

       “Yeah. It’s um… It’s my favorite drink.” She took a sip, pulling closer so she lowered her voice. “But no one makes it as good as my dad. Don’t tell anyone.”

       “Your secret’s safe with me, buttercup.” And she winked, making Laura shake her head, a smile appearing on her cheeks.

       Several customers entered and both girls turned their faces at the same time, one of them greeted the tall ginger and gave Laura a big hug before getting back to his group. Carmilla wondered that maybe the hugs Laura gave her are nothing special since she seemed to give the same amount of affection to everyone else. They talked for a couple of minutes, leaving Carmilla once again alone. She grabbed her phone and checked the same apps she checked already, most of them with very few new updates to look at but she kept refreshing nonetheless.

       Laura sat back down and sipped from her hot chocolate. Carmilla continued looking through her phone without trying to pay that much attention to the girl next to her.

       “So, is it your habit of eating other people’s food, or is it just with cookies?” She teased, a smile appearing on her cheeks instead. “Which by the way you owe me a whole box of them.”

       “I ate less than half of the box, cupcake. And I hate to disappoint you but you will have to survive without cookies for a while because _you_ took all my money to buy that stupid Benadryl.”

       “I only bought it because you were freaking out. And also because your arms were looking kinda disgusting.” She raised her brows and tried to make a gross face that was just too cute and funny.

       Their conversation was interrupted when Danny placed both plates in front of the girls. Stacked in the middle of each plate were three golden and fluffy pancakes which smelled like they had a hint of vanilla in the batter, and three perfectly cooked slices of bacon on the side. She then brought them both silverware and honey and occupied herself with preparing the other customers’ orders. Silence engulfed them as Carmilla noticed how Laura's method of preparing her pancakes differed from hers. She lifted each pancake and smothered them with honey, then proceeded to cut them in an almost perfect grid, inserting her fork in the first two layers and ate them, leaving the last pancake till the end. Carmilla applied honey to the first layer and then she would cut the pancakes with her fork in bite size slices, eventually shifting her plate as she progressed to consumed her meal, leaving the center till the very end because she would always say that it is the best part of the pancake. She was about to make a remark about the way Laura’s method of eating, when she was rudely interrupted by the amazon.

       “So Hollis, what do you plan to do after you graduate? Have you decided if you’re going to apply for grad school yet?” Xena asked while preparing two mugs of coffee, bringing the espresso machine to life.

       “No, not yet. I still don’t get the grasp of graduating in less than a month, you know? I talked to my dad and he told me after he graduated he worked a lot so he could save all his money and traveled to as many places he could in one year. I wish I could do that you know, because there are _so_ many places that I want to go, but there’s the impending doom of financial aid and also finding a job, which is never fun to think about. But I’m still thinking about it as a possibility.”

       “Yeah, one of the reasons I applied for grad school was that I couldn’t find a job in my field. So one of my sisters from the Summer Society told me about this new program at Silas. And now I’m back in school.” She took the mugs and walked to bring them to the customers who were in the room adjacent to theirs, coming back and started to work on a new hot chocolate. “Hey, remember that time we were all dragged to the town hall meeting, and the Zetas started throwing fish and salted herring?” They both began to chuckle. “And you were walking all around campus oblivious to the fish in your hair?”

       “Oh, god. Don’t remind me. That was _so_ embarrassing. But thanks again for pointing them out and getting them off of me.”

       “Oh, it was nothing. I still haven’t repaid you for letting me use your bathroom to wash my hair to take the stink out of it.”

       They also talked about how the Zetas and the Summer Society ended up having a fight a couple of semesters ago in the quad because they arranged a volleyball game to peacefully decide what group could use which of the gym facilities next month. But like most of the activities they plan together, things got heated. And someone shoved someone, until it quickly escalated into a turf war to see who was going to get their hands on conquering the gym, the track field, the tennis courts, and even the swimming pool. It fizzled out and ended up in a “truce party” held by the Zetas.

       Carmilla remembered all those events perfectly, and she couldn’t help to roll her eyes because once again she was convinced that those frat boys and sorority girls were a bunch of numbskulls that thought they could have control over everybody and every part of the school property.

       Laura was laughing so hard at that moment that Carmilla felt a tinge of jealousy for not being able to make her laugh as easily as everybody else did. All she ever managed to do was annoy her and be a burden to her. And now they were having breakfast, but just not the way she wanted to. She would have much prefered it if the jolly ginger giant wasn’t around.

       “Were you around when the turf war happened at Silas, Carmilla?” Laura turned in her direction, as if trying to include her in their conversation.

       “Yeah, I was.” She turned back to her pancakes.

       Another couple of customers entered, shaking the rain out of their umbrellas and taking off their jackets. Danny left to take their order, and Laura returned to her meal, sipping from her hot chocolate.

       The moment Danny returned to her post, they kept talking about how one time she had to rush to the library because Laura and Raggedy Andy got lost in the library stacks. And how she had to rescue them from freaking out and setting fire to the books that supposedly started attacking them.

       As Carmilla took the last bite of her meal, all she could think of was how frustrating it was to find out that the human skyscraper and this girl were good friends. Her thoughts frantically skyrocketed as the mere idea that maybe the ginger giant confided to Laura regarding about how things fell apart between them when they briefly dated. Of how the small girl sitting next to her possibly knew in detail from the ginger’s perspective of how things didn’t work out between them and how badly their relationship ended. All she has managed to do was just annoy her and to force her to buy her food or medicine, since she was unable to even do that herself. What was even worse, at least in Carmilla’s mind, was that Laura kept wanting to be her friend and continued to smile that amazing smile that made her forget all the grief and the pain she had suffered throughout the years. And the worst part was that she would never get the chance with her because she was straight. She could not go on like this. She knew she had to do something about paying her back and stop screwing things up like she always did.

       Her train of thought was interrupted when she felt a hand on her forearm.

       “Hey, ready to go?” Laura smiled at her with empathy in her eyes but soon looked away as she received the change for their meals.  

       They stood up, and the broody girl couldn’t shake her thoughts away, making her feel emotionally drained yet angry at the same time, unlike the other girl that seemed like the sun was radiating from within her. They exited the place and droplets began to hit them in their head and their cheeks.

       “So, are you ready to learn some photography techniques? I mean the lighting might not be the best, but it’s only for practice. There’s a park that I know that has these beautiful trees and—”

       “I’m gonna have to give you a raincheck on that one, cutie.”

       “Oh, come on Carmilla, It’s just a little rain.”

       “It’s not that it’s just… I just need to be alone right now.”

       “Oh.” The girl’s smile disappeared. “Well, can I at least drive you home?”

       “No, I’ll walk. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

       Laura flung herself and gave the broody girl the warmest embrace she had received. _The same type of hug she gave everyone,_ Carmilla thought. She took a moment before she returned the hug, pulling herself away before she lost control of her senses.

       “If you need anything, just let me know, okay?”

       “Will do.”

       She turned and began to walk in the opposite direction from Laura without looking back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla goes to her "Special Place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Homophobia, homophobic slurs, physical & domestic violence!

 

       Carmilla had been sitting crosslegged on a bench underneath the trunk of what is one of the oldest trees in all of Styria. She was in a park that seemed to have been abandoned years ago, where overgrown vines and grass had completely covered the playground along with the fence that surrounded it, giving it an eerie yet peaceful atmosphere. She knew she was trespassing because there used to be a worn out sign that boldly said so, but even then, Carmilla never once saw any evidence of anyone enforcing that rule. It was as if she was destined to find this place and enjoy the solitude that no other person in the world could. She was still in high school when she first discovered it and it instantly became her favorite spot to seek refuge from everything and everyone. She could escape whenever her mother yelled at her or reprimanded her for being a disappointment. It brought her peace and solace whenever she remembered her father, consoled her when Elle broke her heart, gave her strength when she felt that her life was no longer worth living. This small place provided the answers she need to figure out her current life situation, and now she longed to know what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.

       She sat there, thinking about the years she spent at Silas, wondering if all the stress she had been subjected to, the assignments, readings, tests, the countless times she almost died of starvation as well as the nights without rest were worth it to achieve her dream. There were also the tears she had shed for feeling miserable and small, the times she had doubted herself in aspects that she never knew she could have doubts, realizing her efforts towards a piece of paper which didn’t even secure her a future. No one ever told her that following her dreams could be so hard to achieve, but then again, she had been figuring things out by herself most of her life.

       She had to endure two more weeks of torture, of constant exhaustion, and endless amounts of caffeine that didn’t seemed to have any effect on her anymore. Two more weeks and then she would be free. Free to do… what? She hadn’t planned that far ahead, and even though she knew she could keep her job, she had other aspirations.

       Her phone buzzed but she didn’t even bothered to look at it. It was probably laura checking up on her. Again. Or the Weasley twins. She silenced it and put it back in her purse and lowered her head, crossing her arms over her chest to shield herself from the cold that was crawling through her body. Carmilla closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the wind brushing the nearly naked branches of the tree, the splashing of the accumulated water between the unevenness of the pavement on the road, and even people passing by on the other side of the fence, their feet stepping in puddles and their voices slowly fading in the distance.

       As she listened, her mind lingered between sleep and reality, making Carmilla feel like she was floating even though she was still sitting. It could have been a couple of minutes or even hours in that position when she felt a hand on her shoulder, jerking her back to reality. Regrettably, she opened her eyes and could see a pair of Converse shoes standing next to her.

       “I thought I’d find you here.”

       Lifting her eyes, she quickly identified the figure that was next to her. Carmilla lightly clenched her fists because, of course, the Jolly Red Giant would be the one to figure out she was here.

       “Can I sit here?” she asked, her tone guarded and distant.

       Carmilla shrugged her shoulders as an answer. The tall ginger took it as an invitation, sitting next to her, but still keeping the distance between them. Until today, they hadn’t spoken a word to each other since the break up which was evident from what happened earlier in the morning. It was no secret that Danny was still hurt. Minutes of uncomfortable silence passed between them both before they could say anything to each other. Carmilla was thinking of leaving and try to be alone again, but then the ginger girl was the one that broke the silence.

       “So, um… There’s something that I need to talk to you about.”

       “Okay I’m not interested in wha—” She began to untangle her legs.

       “—If you think I came here to apologize, you are wrong. I came here because of Laura.”

       The dark haired girl stopped and looked at the amazon to check if she might be bluffing, only to find honesty in her eyes. She resumed her original position, thinking of what Danny could possibly have to say about Laura, but she remained silent for a couple of seconds. Carmilla thought that if the ginger giant was the one that wanted to talk, she should be the one to start the conversation.

       They both sat there, directing their eyes to everywhere except each other. Danny took a deep breath.

       “There’s something that you need to know about Laura… something that she probably won’t tell you because it’s still very hard for her talk about, and I think you need to know to understand her better.” She let out a deep sigh and Carmilla’s attention was focused on hearing whatever it was the human skyscraper wanted to say. “After you left, Laura came back in and sat down exactly where she sat before. I didn’t notice at first, but she was really quiet and looked really bummed out. I asked her what’s wrong, and at first she wouldn’t tell me, but after another cup of cocoa she opened up. She seemed worried at your sudden mood change, and asked me if there was something wrong that she did to make you upset and how she could make things right.”

       Carmilla sighed in exasperation and shook her head. _Of course she would think that it might be her fault for something she didn’t do,_ she thought.

       “I told her that maybe you got upset because you weren’t expecting to bump into me. And since we didn’t end things on good terms it might’ve put you in a bad mood.”

       Carmilla’s memory began to replay the few months they were together. When they were first introduced by the ginger twins, Carmilla wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea of being set up to meet someone, but she had to give them points for trying. She had just gotten over a period of self loathing at that moment in her life.

       When she was introduced to Danny, she was fully aware that their relationship wouldn’t last very long, but she was willing to give it a try just for the sake of being lonely. They started the way most couples first start out: talking and texting till the late hours of the night. Everything seemed to be all right between them both in the beginning. There was endless teasing and borderline disagreements, but it was new and exciting. Carmilla was willing to make an effort and make it work, to try and open herself up after what happened with Elle. And yet, the more effort she wanted to make, the less she did, not having much motivation to keep up her relationship with the tall ginger.

       If only the sex wasn’t amazing. Danny was extremely good at it without a doubt and she projected it with a cocky confidence that at first fascinated Carmilla. But like in most relationships that were doomed to fail, what fascinated her at first ended up being the thing that Carmilla detested the most. It showed Xena’s want of dominance in every aspect between them. Between her arrogance and Carmilla’s nonchalant attitude, their views of the most trivial things created steamy one sided arguments. After the second month of being together they argued about everything, so Danny began to spend more time with her sisters, while Carmilla would be alone in her apartment, in the library, or here in this abandoned place. Towards the end, Danny would invite her to parties and Carmilla would always promise to meet her later but never did, preferring instead to go to other parties Danny wasn’t interested in attending.

       Once the ginger giant was promoted to vice president of the Summer Society house, that was when everything certainly fell apart. They stopped texting and having dates because Danny became more and more invested in her sorority, while Carmilla chose to be anywhere but near the Summer house.

       Until one night the Summer Society girls and by proxy, Carmilla, were invited to a post midterm bash hosted by the Zetas. Danny told Carmilla she wasn’t interested in going whereas the latter mentioned that she was too tired to attend anyway. After a few hours reading in her bed alone, she got the itch to go out; it was a Friday night, after all. Remembering the party, she decided to go unaccompanied and without bothering to tell her now ex girlfriend her change of plans.

       After a couple of drinks and some beer shots, she found a study buddy and began to flirt with her, heading towards the second floor to have some privacy when she suddenly heard a familiar laugh coming from the patio. She looked out through a window only to find out that Danny was already there, accompanied by a tall blonde girl flirting with her as if her life depended upon it. Carmilla went and stood up to Danny, trying to put the blame on her for cheating on her when suddenly the drunk study buddy appeared and planted a kiss on her lips. They had a huge fight in front of the gathering crowd and ended everything right there and then.

       “At first she was skeptical about my answer, which, I don’t blame her,” Danny continued with her story, snapping Carmilla back to her senses, “nor did she asked for specifics, but I guess she put two and two together on her own by the way we interacted with each other about the girl I broke up with when we first met, and seemed to understand. Although I don’t know if she believed me or not, she was still pretty shaken up about your sudden mood change towards her.”

       “Does she know… _everything_ about us? How we broke up?” Carmila looked at Danny’s pants, not able to meet her in the eyes as she formulated the question.

       “No.”

       Carmilla felt how her shoulder had been lifted from a weight she didn’t knew she was carrying.

       “I met Laura when I first started working at ‘Rob & Pierre’s’ and she was very lovely and nice. She knew that I had just broken up with my girlfriend back then, but she never found out that it was you. She was very respectful about it, which was something that made me like her.” She chuckled. “Even I developed a crush on her, but I mean, who wouldn’t?”

       Carmilla knew that the comment was directed at her.

       “She’s cute.” The dark haired girl replied, hiding the faint smile that unconsciously appeared in her lips.

       “Yeah, she is.” A moment of silence followed. “Carmilla, I know you have feelings for her. I saw it the moment you both sat down.”

       “You should have your eyesight checked, Xena.”

       “Oh, come on, don’t bring me that shit. Your seduction eyes are _all_ over the place with her.” Danny exhaled. “You never looked at me the way you looked at her when we were together.” She lowered her voice, a hint of jealousy was laced in her words.

       Carmilla scoffed and rolled her eyes.

       “It’s true. But… you know she is not into girls, right?”

       There was a heavy weight at the pit of Carmilla’s stomach. Of course, she had to be reminded of the fact that she had a huge crush with a straight girl.

       “Yeah, I know.”

       Carmilla lifted her eyes and for the first time, she met Danny’s. They both smiled a sad smile, Carmilla quickly went back to looking at the floor. Danny became silent.

       “Why are you telling me this?” Carmilla asked.

       “Because I care about Laura. And she likes being your friend. But there are some things you need to know about her to understand why she is the way she is.”

       “And I thought you didn’t enjoyed gossipping like the rest of your Sumer Society friends.”

       “It’s not gossip,” she answered sharply.

       Carmilla was taken by surprise at the tall girl’s last words, but she decided to not argue with her and know the truth.

       “When I met Laura, she was recently engaged to some guy she had been with since high school. I don’t know the details, but it was clear that she was in love with the guy. She seemed pretty happy about her engagement, even though they apparently wanted to wait until they were done with their degrees before actually getting married. I thought she was still too young, but who was I to judge? I barely even knew her.

       “We began to talk and get better acquainted and I notice that she got progressively less happy, so I asked her one day if there was something she wanted to talk about. She told me her fiance was beginning to act a little bit distant and seemed stressed and she didn’t know why. She figured it was maybe from his classes or his job to try and pay for the wedding, even though they had both decided that it should be a small ceremony.

       “I remember there was one occasion that Laura had a barbeque at her apartment and invited her friends from high school plus me, LaFontaine and Perry. I guess it was a way to make us all acquainted with each other, but it was obvious her intentions didn’t worked out like she planned. Her high school friends only hung out with each other, including her fiance while Laura stayed with us. At first I thought she was just trying not to make us feel excluded, but she just came around to us on her own. Her friends didn’t even bothered to make an effort to get to know us, but it was understandable since we all were practically strangers, so I shrugged it off.

       “Whenever LaFontaine, Perry and I would invite Laura to hang out with us, she would of course invite him. At first it was no big deal, but I began to notice that he would seem really uncomfortable around us. I knew that there was something else going on with this guy, but Laura seemed really happy. She’d try to hold his hand and be affectionate with him, but he’d pull away or would return her hugs without much affection, always giving her an excuse that he was tired from work or classes.

       “A few weeks passed, and she went over to the cafe and seemed pretty shaken up. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but I was getting concerned about her well being. I asked her again what was wrong, and she said that she was getting desperate at trying to figure out what was going on with her fiance. She said that he was distant and wouldn’t answer her calls or texts like he used to. I remember wanting to talk to her, to make her understand that her relationship is making her miserable. Last I checked, relationships were supposed to make you feel good and this wasn’t the situation. What struck me the most was the next time I saw her, apparently everything seemed to be back to normal because she was happy again, telling me that they worked things out. So I dropped it.

       “Then one night, I saw them arguing in a parking lot on campus while I was on my way to the tennis courts. He was yelling at her, saying he was tired of her being overly affectionate and clingy towards everyone, of her trying to act like the same naive provincial girl that he met back in highschool. That he was sick of the fact that she would never let go of his hand, or how she always wanted to be around him like he was going to disappear. He was practically screaming how he was sick and tired of loving her because she was so clingy; she made it impossible for him. And how it was her fault he didn’t cared about her anymore.

       “I intervened before he could say anything else. He ignored me and told her that he was ashamed of being with someone that had more gay friends that straight since they were the scum of society. I could feel her body shake as she cried quietly, so I tried to get her out of that situation. He called after us, saying something like, ‘Yeah, go ahead. Go with that bitch and the rest of your fucking dykes and faggot friends. You’re just like them.’

       “Laura turned around and slapped him and he hit her back so hard, a bruise started to appear almost instantly on her cheek. He quickly tried to apologize, and Laura stopped me from punching him in the face. I took her away and told him that I never wanted to see him near her again ‘cause I’d kick his ass without even thinking twice about it.

       “You can imagine how devastated she was. Not only did she lose her fiance, she lost all of their high school and mutual friends. They all sided with him and just dropped her like nothing. To make matters even worse, it was also around the time that Laura’s roommate decide to transfer to Stanford, which affected her even more with the whole abandonment thing. Perry, LaFontaine and I stuck around, inviting her out and keeping her company through the whole ordeal. She needed a little convincing, thinking that maybe we took pity on her but we genuinely care about her. There were a couple of times she got pretty bad, and we all ended up sleeping over so she wouldn’t feel alone when she woke up.

       “She’s finally come to terms with everything that happened and moved on, and this motherfucker starts trying to come back into her life. Laura has changed her phone number twice already and he still manages to find her, asking for her to forgive him and to give him a second chance. But Laura would be crazy if she goes back with him. She just ignores him but he’s insistent. Sometimes I worry that he might do something to her if he ever finds her, you know?”

       Danny took a deep breath, and left Carmilla to process everything she had just told her. They sat for a couple of more minutes in silence. Everything started to make sense for her. The way Laura hugged her, how she apologized twice already for being affectionate and for being “a pain in the butt.” And even in the library and her apartment, Carmilla noticed how her eyes shifted when her phone buzzed. She even made the comment of how there were certain people that couldn’t take a hint.

       “So go easy on her. And get some rest. Finals are a couple of weeks away and you look like hell.” She watched as the taller girl stood up and walked away, giving her a half smile before disappearing over the fence.

       Carmilla did what she was told, and absentmindedly walked towards her apartment, her limbs and her head felt heavy. She knew she needed to take a hot bath to clear her mind, and to avoid getting sick.

       Laura needed someone that cared for her, that wouldn’t judge her for the way she was. She was aware that she wasn’t the best candidate to do the job, but she was finally willing to give it a try.

       She remembered she had several messages in her phone waiting, she quickly scanned through the other ones, responding to the ones she only cared about, but she took her time with the ones from Laura.

Cupcake (12:39):     Hey Carm, if there’s anything I can do, you’ll let me know, right?

Cupcake (1:22):       Let me know when you get home.

Cupcake (2:07):       Hey. Just making sure you got home safely.

Carmilla (6:31):       Hey cupcake. I’m home. Sorry for walking out on you.

Cupcake (6:32):       Oh thank god you’ve answered! Is everything ok?

Carmilla (6:34):       Yeah, everything’s good now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

Cupcake (6:34):       Promise?

Carmilla (6:37):       Promise.

Cupcake (6:40):       Ok :))) Goodnight Carmilla.

Carmilla (6:39):       Night, cutie.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla gets interrupted form her reading, and steals coffee paper cups.

 

       During the next couple of days, Laura and Carmilla texted each other constantly since they had zero chance of hanging out together. Carmilla was content with this arrangement between them, yet she missed having Laura physically close to her. She had to remember it was the last week of school before reading week began and she really needed to focus on finishing her readings. Her eyes were telling a different story though, slightly aching from sleep deprivation and the lack of breaks she allowed them throughout the day. She was sitting at the library in one of the study areas around the bookstacks reading the “Philosophy of Tyranny” for one of her classes when she was startled by the buzzing coming from her phone, making her almost fall from her chair.

       The last person she received a message was from Willie boy, asking if she intended to drop by the apartment at all. She ignored most of his messages since it wasn’t his business what she decided to do with her time and placed the phone away from her. Most likely he was going to bicker to their mother like the little snitch he was about “the ridiculous hours she arrived to the apartment,” that it was “making the neighbors suspicious,” and Carmilla was never in the mood of receiving a sermon from her.

       She did her best to ignore the constant green flashing light that would not cease to blink, but it was useless. Her concentration was constantly interrupted, making her read the same paragraph time and time again without being able to absorb any of her reading. Defeated, she rolled her eyes and placed the book faced down to grab the phone and pressed the four number password to unlock the screen, a smile appearing on her lips as she noticed who the sender was.

Cupcake (8:37pm):     Hey Carmilla, are you busy right now?

Carmilla (8:44pm):      Sorry buttercup, I was reading. Everything okay?

Cupcake (8:45pm):     I was wondering if you’d like to join me while I finish setting up my exhibition ;)

Carmilla (8:47pm):     Sounds tempting, but I’m busy.

Cupcake (8:50pm):     Would the fact that beer will be involved might change your opinion?

Carmilla (8:58pm):     I’m heading out from the library.

Carmilla (8:59pm):     You still there?

Cupcake (9:00pm):     Still here :)

       The fine arts building, officially named the Rembrandt Building for Performing and Fine Arts, was one of the farthest buildings on campus from the library. If one could see the university from bird’s eye view, they would notice that the whole university was distributed in an irregular, chaotic way. It was situated on a hill, with the library encompassed almost a quarter of the university at the highest level of the hill. The quad occupied the middle section, and the rest of the buildings crammed in the larger, lower portion of the hill. The levels were all connected by ramps and stairs that went all along the university, creating an impressive cluster of architecture. Most of the buildings were three stories high, and some even had a sub-basement, with hundreds of windows and beautifully carved details that resembled the ones at the library. Since the buildings were close to each other, they granted easier access for students to travel around using high stone bridges or underground passageways. The bigger and more ancient buildings seemed to be isosceles or even hexagonal shaped, creating a sort of labyrinth that proved to be a nightmare for the freshmen.  

       The walk from the Library to the Art building was a twenty to twenty five minute walk, if one took only the open halls between the buildings. But Carmilla, an expert in doing things with the least amount of time and effort, went through passageways and halls from one building to another, entering and exiting as well as turning every now and then in a serpentine fashion. She felt one last slap of cold hit her face as she opened doors that led her back to the open areas of Silas University before she got a glimpse of the massive building ahead of her.

       Her legs were already starting to burn from all the walking, when she was met with the flight of stairs that led her to a long walkway. As she climbed them, she was greeted by the ever-changing sculptures the students created for their classes, apparently too big to fit within the halls or in their classrooms. Carmilla always thought that on the outside it wasn’t very attractive to look at at first glance, but she had to remind herself that one mustn't judge a book by its cover.

       The fine arts center was a massive concrete structure, with minimal decorations that contrasted with the classic architecture from the other buildings around campus, despite its wide windows that allowed to see the students travel from one side of the building to another. It was the second tallest building in all of Silas, the library of course taking the crown. As she travelled the open area, surrounded by metallic, wooden and found-object structures, she noticed the post and lintel entrance that turned into an intricate set of beams and load bearers that helped support the weight of the structure. _Why the hell does this building have to be so goddamn big_ , she asked herself as she was reaching the end of the tunnel.

       But the image that opened before her was so astonishing it always took her breath away. She was greeted with an open space that provided the best acoustics Carmilla had ever heard in her life. It had trees and ramps that joined all the floors from different sides to allow the students to facilitate moving their pieces from one floor to the other in the open air. As she was walking towards the ramp that led to the gallery where Laura was probably already waiting for her, Carmilla could hear the sound of a trumpet being played, as well as someone singing at freakishly high notes resonating throughout the building.

       Out of breath, cold, and ready to get some rest, Carmilla saw the gallery with its glass wall facing the patio that allowed the space to be seen entirely from the outside. She came closer and instead of finding laura busy at work, she was greeted by gingerlocks, who was cleaning the glass windows enthusiastically. Perry noticed her presence and waved at her, Carmilla waved back and placed her hand back in her jean pockets.

       “Hi, Carmilla,” she greeted the raven haired girl with a genuine smile, which the latter returned as best she could, trying to catch her breath.  

       “Hey, Perry.”   _Damn I’m out of shape_ , she thought. She huffed as she entered the room, noticing that the other ginger twin wasn’t glued to her hip. “Where’s LaF?”

       “Oh, they accompanied Laura to buy some things. I was waiting for you, but I noticed the windows seemed kinda dirty so I took the liberty of cleaning them. Have you had dinner already?”

       “Nope.”

       “I’m sure Laura’s buying something to eat since she still has work to do. You certainly took your time getting here.”

       “I was reading at the library.”

       “Oh.” She said as she turned back again and resumed her work. “Sit down and keep on with your readings. I won’t bother you anymore.”

       She began to wander inside, noticing that there were two movable white walls facing each in an L shape with different sets of lighting hanging from the ceiling. There were only a handful of pieces already hung, with a scissor ladder next to one of them, as well as a cart with hammers, nails, putty, clips, brushes, spatulas, and everything that was apparently needed to mount an exhibition. Something caught Carmilla’s eye from the cart and she approached to get a better look at it. _Is that… a wire hanger in there? No wonder everyone thinks that art students are crazy_.

       On the furthest corner from the entrance was a the tiny girl’s backpack, two boxes of cookies with one already opened, a cooler filled with ice and three bottled waters left, and a huge sheet of rolled paper that was secured with several rubber bands. Carmilla made herself comfortable and sat down next to the cooler, placing Laura’s backpack on her back as a cushion and shifted herself to find the most comfortable position. Placing her own backpack next to her, she reached for the book from earlier and thumbed through the pages to figure out where she left off. After a couple of seconds, she placed her book down and took the box of opened cookies, placing it on top of the cooler lid at arm’s length and began to eat one. She read a couple of chapters, every now and then grabbing a cookie by just moving her elbow without taking her eyes off the pages.

       A faint click broke her concentration and she lifted her eyes. A familiar figure was crouched a few paces away with a camera hiding her face. She lowered it and there was a warm smile painted on her cheek. Laura approached her and kneeled, giving Carmilla a tight hug,

       “Hey!”

       “Hey.” Carmilla returned the embrace with more enthusiasm than she would admit, hiding the smile that was appearing in her lips in Laura’s hair.

       “I’m sorry for taking so long, but some gymsharks decided to buy all the available pizzas so LaFontaine and I had to wait until they got another batch ready.” She pulled herself away, her eyes still fixed on Carmilla’s. “And then we went to go and buy some…” she hesitated for a fraction of a second, glancing back quickly at Perry for reasons unknown to Carmilla before resuming. “Water. We bought water and when we returned my parking spot was taken so we had to go and find another but… I’m here.”

       She stood up and began to walk away, while the bio major appeared with a pack of water bottles in their arms.

       “Wow, it actually worked.” LaFontaine said with a cocky smile in their lips.

       “What worked?” Carmilla didn’t understand what was happening.

       “I told L to mention the beer, and suddenly you change your mind.” They said a matter-of-factly.

       “So you think that cheap alcohol is more important to me than spending time with a friend? I’m hurt, LaF. Hurt.” Carmilla tried to feign being offended, even placing a hand over her heart dramatically. She knew she had been caught, sort of.

       “Coming from you, Carmilla? Yeah.” They placed the bottles of water on the floor and wiggled their eyebrows, giving Carmilla a sly look. “Or maybe because you have a thing for Laura.”

       Carmilla was about to protest, but decided not to incriminate herself any more than she already had. Instead, she rolled her eyes and returned to her reading, feeling LaF’s eyes upon her. As if on queue Laura appeared, carrying two thin cardboard boxes in her hands.

       “I hope you’re hungry because there is no way in hell or Hogwarts that I am going to finish everything by myself.”

       “But you said in your text there would be—”

       “—pizza,” Laura abruptly interrupted. “And here it is, just like I promised.”

       She opened her eyes wider, signaling to the broody girl to follow her story and play along.

       “Right. The pizza. Thanks.”

       “Hey Laur, make sure that you get rid of the evidence before you leave. You don’t want people to think that you’re giving away pizza in your opening tomorrow,” LaF said as they finished placing the water bottles next to the cooler.

       Perry made an appearance once she deemed the windows clean enough and placed the spray bottle and paper towels in one of the drawers from the cart.

       “Oh, yeah. Thanks so much for accompanying me, LaF.” And she went and gave them a hug, who gave her an extra tight squeeze before breaking apart.

       Carmilla knew that the nerdy ginger was also not a fan of other people being very affectionate with them. The exception of course being their girlfriend who definitely had a problem with other people getting too close to them. During their time as undergrad, Carmilla once witnessed Perry become a red ball of fury when a girl was getting a bit too flirty with them once during lunch. Maybe they allowed Laura to be affectionate with them because they both had a platonic bond and neither of them seemed to mind it at the least.

       As she remembered this, Perry walked up next to LaFontaine and they automatically linked their hands together.

       “Sweetie, we would love to stay, but LaFontaine still needs to finish typing the final exam for their students tomorrow.”

       “Why didn’t you tell me that you still had work left to do?” She slightly raised her voice. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry for taking so much of your time. But yes, please, go and finish preparing your classes and exams. And really, thanks again for coming and helping me with the exhibition and putting everything together. You both were such a big help.”

       “If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate and let us know. We’ll see you around. Carmilla?”

       “Bye you two.” She lazily waved goodbye, not bothering to take her eyes off the pages from her book.

       Laura accompanied them out the door and waved at them until they disappeared from view.

       “Hey I’ll be back in a bit. I have to get something from my locker.”

       “Sure.”

       The smell of the pizza was making her stomach churn in hunger, yet she kept up the appearance of being focused on the book once she heard footsteps approaching.

       Within a couple of minutes, she appeared with a bag in her hand, glass clinking every now and then and placed it in front of the cooler. Her back faced the glass wall from the gallery to cover the beer from prying eyes.

       “Don’t tell anyone,” she turned to look at Carmilla, “but we’re not supposed to have alcohol on school grounds, but who cares. We’re graduating and I wanted to break the rules at least once before it is too late.” Placing them on the floor, she pushed her hair away from her face, a shy smile remained in her lips. “And I thought of breaking them with you, if that’s okay.”

       “Gingerlock doesn’t know about this, right?” Laura shook her head. “Sounds good to me.” She replied in her unaffected voice.

       The smile was renewed in Laura’s face as she started placing the beers in the cooler, and Carmilla was glad that the lid hid the blush crawling up her cheeks. Laura took a beer and opened it, but Carmilla stopped her before she could drink it, reaching in her backpack and taking out two paper coffee cups.

       “There are times that the police will patrol around campus.” She began to pour the liquid in the cups. “These will fool them, and they won’t even check the cooler if they see a couple of bottled waters scattered around here.”

       She handed the now full cup to Laura and began to pour another one in her own paper cup. Laura sat down next to her and crossed her ankles, their knees touching and their arms brushing each other every now and then.

       “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

       “No,” a smirk appearing in her face.

       Laura smiled as they opened the cardboard box and started eating their improvised dinner. Although it was late already, a faint set of notes traveled around the open area around the building. At first, a couple of instruments were introduced: violins, cellos, clarinets, trombones, until a full orchestra joined the melody in perfect harmonization. It was followed by some humming that soon became a powerful, vibrant song. They sat silently, listening to the sound when Laura said, “Wow, the Glee Club is really giving it their all, huh?”

       “It’s not the Glee Club, buttercup.” She chuckled, even though they were indeed humming passionately.

       Laura grabbed Carmilla by the hand and they both dashed out of the gallery. They could listen to their private concert even better from outside. The vibration resonated all around them, giving Carmilla chills that traveled all around her body. It was an amazing experience to be able to listen to them rehearse, and although none of them were music majors, they thought it sounded perfect. They listened to the entire song and once it stopped, they waited to check if it would start again but everything became silent. Several minutes passed and both girls returned to the gallery as the same melody began to play again.

       Carmilla resumed her original position and Laura sat next to her, as they both continued to drink their beers and eat another slice of pizza while staring off to the other side of the room. After almost emptying a box of pizza, Laura rested her head on the Carmilla’s shoulder and they stood silent for a couple of minutes, still listening to the music being played outside.

       “How long will you stay here?” Carmilla asked.

       “Until I am done mounting everything,” she sighed as she shifted herself to get more comfortable. “Which will basically take me the entire night.”

       “Isn’t it just hanging your photographs in the walls and that’s it?” she furrowed her brows.

       Laura chuckled and told Carmilla that she still needed to mount the photographs, make sure they weren’t crooked, place the name tags, fix the lighting, place the vinyl decal in the front glass wall, then sweep the whole gallery and she was done.

       “And your exhibition is…?”

       “Um… tomorrow.” Laura lowered her face and bit the inside of her lip.

       “Well, thank you so much for dinner, sweetheart. But I got a lot of reading and apparently you have a lot of work to do as well.”

       She slightly shifted her position, shuffling Laura aside and resumed her lazy position. Picking up the book she placed face down earlier, she placed the cookie in their original position and grabbed one.

       “Seriously? You’re shoving me away after I _basically_ bought dinner for both of us?”

       “Well, well. Don’t we sound like a married couple.” She raise her eyebrow and looked directly at the girl in front of her. “Truth is that I don’t want to spend the rest of the night stuck in this building, so…” She opened another beer and poured it in her coffee cup. “Better finish mounting that exhibition, cutie.”

       Laura huffed in annoyance and resumed her work while Carmilla kept reading. Before she got too involved in her book, Carmilla poured another cup and walked up to hand it to Laura, who took a big gulp while she went back to her reading position. It was silent, except for some hammering, courtesy of Laura, but the broody girl was able to tune the sound off and concentrated in her reading.

       Hours passed by, and after almost finishing her book and taking endless notes on both the margins and her notebook, Carmilla felt how her eyes grew tired from reading too much. She placed her book down and noticed that the box of cookies was almost empty. Regardless, she took another one and stood up, stretching her limbs which were stiff from being in the same position for a prolonged period of time. Deciding to check on Laura to see if she wasn’t sweating and delirious, Carmilla noticed that she was hammering on the wall, standing on her toes a couple of steps up the ladder. Stopping a couple of paces away from her, she waited until the hammering stopped.

       “Cupcake?”

       “Yesh, Cahmilla?” she answered with nails between her teeth

       “Are you almost done?”

       “I ohly need to mount thwee mo pieshesh. Why?”

       “No reason.”

       She looked down and noticed Laura’s empty cup. Taking it back and poured another glass bottle in it, she swapped Laura’s hammer for the newly filled cup, brushing their fingers. The smaller girl removed the remaining nails from her lips in her hand and took a sip, and then a huge gulp and another. She almost emptied her cup before letting it back down on the floor.

       “Whoa. Slow down, cutie.”

       “I have been thirsty for some time. But you seemed too concentrated in your reading that I didn’t wanted to disturb you.” She climbed down the stairs and faced Carmilla. “Do you mind if we take a little break? I am getting tired of being in that stupid ladder and hammering.”

       They both sat down again on the floor and ate another slice of pizza.

       “What do you want to do?” Carmilla asked, enthusiasm evident in her voice.

       “What time is it?”

       Carmilla reached for her phone, and turned it on; it was 1:48 am. She was tired, but  preferred to spend more time with Laura than with Will in her apartment.

       Laura scooted closer and leaned her head in her shoulder once more, linking their arms together. They sat in silence, listening to a cricket chirp in the distance, the music long gone by now, when Laura moved her arm and reached for her hand. Carmilla’s heart began to beat faster by the sudden proximity, but then it skipped a beat when Laura traced her veins, lightly pressing her finger where two connected every once in a while.

       “You have beautiful hands, Carmilla.”

       “Thanks.” She responded, her voice a little higher than usual.

       “Do you mind this? You can tell me if you feel uncomfortable and I won’t do it again. I promise.”

       She twisted Carmilla’s wrist, and began to trace patterns in it, slightly moving to her palm and there were times that she would move to her lower arm. Carmilla closed her eyes, the sensation was very soothing even though it was ticklish at times, but no. It was the complete opposite from being uncomfortable. She sighed and before she knew it, she was pressing her cheek against the girl’s head.

       “Carm?” her voice was was small, innocent.

       “Hmm?”

       “Thank you.”

       Carmilla opened her eyes and looked down at Laura.

       “For what?”

       “For being my friend. You have no idea how much that means to me.” Her voice cracked a bit in the end, a sad smile appearing in her cheeks.

       Danny’s voice echoed in her mind when they saw each other in the park. _Laura’s friends  turned their backs on her and sided with him without a doubt._ It broke Carmilla’s heart to even think of how lonely the smaller girl might have felt. She knew loneliness and suffering, but it couldn’t compare to the extent Laura had experienced.

       They were polar opposites from each other. People could spend years trying to understand how these two could ever be friends. Carmilla was broody and secluded herself when bad things happened as her own self-defense mechanism whereas Laura still viewed the world with an innocence that was part of her charm. And she had that smile that could reassure others that good and kind people still existed. She didn’t let her bad experienced break her, but rather let it strengthen her.

       They looked into each others’ eyes and Carmilla became aware of how Laura’s cheeks turned slightly pink, how her eyes became watery followed by a tear running down her cheek. Instinctively, Carmilla interlocked their fingers and gave her a reassuring smile even though her heart was breaking from seeing Laura cry in front of her. She used her free hand to wipe the tears from streaking her face.

       “Anytime Laura.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.  
> There might be some possibilities of posting on Tuesgays, but I can't promise you anything yet, since I will be very busy with work this whole month.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla is sleep deprived and doesn't get any rest.

     

       “—Place your essays in my desk. The study guide will be posted online tonight after 5 pm. Thank you guys and good luck with your finals.”

        _Dammit,_ were Carmilla’s first thoughts as she was suddenly startled back to reality from her slumber. Fortunately, she had mastered the art of falling asleep during class undetected a long time ago so she never got in trouble for it. Trying to regain her senses, she quickly began to gather her things and looked at the people following their professor’s instructions and exited the classroom. It was her last class and she hadn’t slept at all in the past thirty six hours, except during her classes. But that doesn’t count.

       First of all, she arrived at her apartment at four thirty in the morning since Laura insisted in driving to her apartment after she was done mounting the exhibition. Secondly, she still needed to type, revise and edit the essay she had just handed to her professor, then she had to attend all her classes due to study guides and to find out what was going to be covered for her finals.

       Walking out of the classroom and dragging her feet across the hall towards the front door, Carmilla was regretfully welcomed by the cold wind that was blowing its way through the labyrinths of Silas. All she could think of was how much she wished to sleep, and even though she had drank three cups of coffee throughout the day, the caffeine made no difference whatsoever. Her hands as well as the rest of her body were shivering in the cold. Her feet and eyelids felt heavy, she was tired, and she felt her back tensed up due to both sleep deprivation and stress from typing her essay as fast as she could to turn it in on time. Even though she was wearing a sweater, a jacket, a scarf around her neck, a beanie, and double socks underneath her combat boots, it was useless. She was still cold despite her best efforts to bring her body temperature back to normal.

       Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out with some difficulty. As soon as she looked at the screen, her mood lightened up despite being numbed by the exhaustion.

Cupcake (4:15 pm):     Hey Carmilla! Just reminding you that my exhibition is today!

Cupcake (4:26 pm):     Please please PLEASE try to make it! And thank you for staying with me yesterday <3

Carmilla (4:48 pm):     Hey cupcake, I was in class. At what time does it start again?

Cupcake (4:50 pm):     At 6 :)

Carmilla (4:51 pm):     I’ll see you in a bit.

       She dawdled across the buildings until she reached the Fine Arts building, walking towards the second floor where almost exactly twelve hours ago she had been in that very same gallery. With some difficulty, she climbed the ramp while her feet dragged on the pavement. She quickly forgot how tired she was for the split of a second when her eyes found Laura. Her back facing Carmilla as was talking to the girl from the wine and cheese catering service, who was apparently still trying to set up the table towards the back of the gallery. If she didn’t know any better, the girl looked like she was confused on how to do her job. Carmilla did her best to look energetic, but she knew that her efforts were in vain. She was exhausted and all she wanted was to sleep either in her bed, in the halls of the Fine Arts building, anywhere really, just for a couple of minutes. She even considered the hard cement bench as an option. But she was doing this because she was aware that this was a really big deal for Laura and because they were friends, despite Carmilla’s personal feelings towards her. She approached her slowly, quietly until she was right behind her, noticing she was wearing a pink salmon pencil skirt, an off-white blouse along with very cute caramel brown shoes. Leaning a little bit to the point where she could even smell her lavender and, is she wearing perfume?

       “Well don’t you look like a virgin sacrifice?” Carmilla said.

       Laura turned and a wide smile appeared in her cheeks and gave Carmilla a tight hug, bringing a faint smile to the sleepy girl’s lips.

       “You made it!” She pulled herself away and Carmilla noticed how beautiful and radiant she looked. _And to top it all off she smells wonderful. This girl’s gonna be the death of me._

       “It crossed my mind to not show up, but then I remembered that you said something a while ago about free wine and cheese and I’m not stupid to pass that up,” she said, fighting the yawn that was forming in her chest. Laura looked at her sternly and Carmilla only smiled a tired smile, adding, “And that’s what friends are for, aren’t we?” Laura playfully punched her and gave her a hug, resting one hand on her upper arm without breaking contact.

       “Thanks so much, Carmilla.” Carmilla yawned. “How were your classes?” She continued.

       “I only remembered the first half of all my classes. They were boring.”

       Laura asked if she had slept at all. As if on cue, Carmilla yawned so hard that her eyes became watery, whereas Laura’s opened wide, a mixture of concern and horror flooding her eyes.

       “Oh my gosh, Carm. And you’re still _here?_ You have to get some rest and sleep. I mean, I’m glad that you’re here with me and all, but you should have told me that you were tired. I would have understood. At least I didn’t have any classes today so I could sleep and get ready, but I mean… you didn’t. Oh my god, I’m _so_ sorry for keeping you up so late yesterday. I promise you it won’t happen again.”

       “I’m alright, cutie. It’s not the first time I have pulled an all-nighter, and I can guarantee you it won’t be the last.”

       Even though Laura tried to keep apologizing, Carmilla told her that she had nothing to worry about, and that she better enjoy her exhibition and not be concerned about her anymore. Any other day she would have been having a kick in arguing with her, but not today. For a couple of minutes Laura began to try and make her laugh to bring her spirit up, but it was useless.

       Guests were starting to walk into the exhibition and Laura had to leave Carmilla alone, the latter beginning to wander around and look at the photographs she had only glimpsed the night before. They were hauntingly beautiful black and white photographs of people reading, drinking either alcohol or coffee, looking out in the distance or walking alone on an empty street or looking through a window. Some of them were close-ups, while others were in a wide frame making almost the human presence almost invisible. But there was an aspect of solitude throughout the pictures, as if you were an intruder in the narrative of the scene before you. Carmilla looked at the photographs, with Laura’s voice resonating somewhere around the gallery. Carmilla felt as if her work reflected a part of herself, as she was aware of the suffering and loss she had been through with the idiot of ex-boyfriend that she was able to interpret through the pieces in front of her.

       “What do you think?” Laura suddenly appeared and asked Carmilla in a low voice, linking their arms together.

       “I like them.”

       “And?” Laura asked, still not letting go of her arm. Carmilla rolled her eyes and at first struggled to find the words she was looking for, but Laura seemed to be patient.

       “I like that there’s a sort of romanticism in all of them. That it makes me want to approach the person in the photograph and ask them what they were thinking, or doing at that exact moment. It makes me feel like they have a narrative, or a story that I want to find out.”

       Laura smiled and they began to walk around. More people arrived at the gallery, some of them looking around the pieces, while others beelined for the table and start eating cubes of cheese, some crackers and ask for wine. Laura led Carmilla to the catering table, and introduced her to the girl serving the wine. They exchanged a couple of words, and Carmilla noticed that the girl seemed to be extra attentive towards her, but she wasn’t in the mood to be flirtatious, so she only nodded and said the necessary words before asking for a glass of red wine while Laura asked for white. _This better help or I’m positively sure I’m going to pass out of exhaustion,_ Carmilla thought as she took a sip from the plastic cup in her hand, while she was once again dragged by Laura around the gallery.

       People kept arriving and congratulated Laura for her work and slowly but steadily, Laura’s attention was being absorbed elsewhere. They were all craving her attention and it was tiring for Carmilla to listen Laura repeat or explain the meaning behind her pieces over and over again.  

       It was a full house, and people still kept arriving to the point that it was suffocatingly hot and almost impossible to walk or even talk. So Carmilla, despite Laura’s efforts of trying to introduce her and keep her close, was undeniably excluded until she found herself alone and without anyone to talk to. She walked outside in the balcony after feeling like she had been kicked out of the party. She began to sip her wine and looked at the spectacle from the outside while the weather was dropping as the hours passed by. She lost track of how many glasses of wine she had drank, but the good thing was that her body temperature was returning back to normal. She lit a cigarette and found that the dimwit squad: Perry, LaFontaine and even Danny had arrived. They apparently were unaware of Carmilla being there, quickly entering the gallery to congratulate and possibly try to talk to Laura, along as the rest of the crowd that attended the exhibition.

       Carmilla began to wonder what the hell was she doing at the Fine Arts building. There was the possibility of bumping into several girls that she purposely ignored to in there, and that would mean trouble. The only reason she was here was because Laura invited her, and also because she knew that it was important for her. Plus the free booze in her now empty plastic cup helped sweeten the deal.

       “There you are Carmilla,” Gingerlocks said as she approached Carmilla, interrupting her train of thought. She rolled her eyes because she was _finally_ getting comfortable being by herself. The motherly ginger serpentined her way closer, followed by the rest of the dimwit squad until she was next to Carmilla, who was slightly irritated that apparently everyone had decided to take the party outside. “We asked Laura if you were still here but she didn’t know where you were. Why aren’t you inside?”

       “Too hot in there.”

       “Are you sure? I mean, aren’t you cold out here?”

       “I’m wearing more layers than I usually do, so take a guess.”

       She lit another cigarette and felt the heat created by the smoke travel through her body. Perry was very disapproving of people smoking, but Carmilla was so exhausted and on the brink of collapsing due to sleep deprivation that she didn’t give two shits what she thought. Any other person, Carmilla would have blown the smoke in their face just to piss them off, but she respected the ginger enough to not do that. She definitely entertained the idea in her head though, given her incredibly foggy and irritated state.

       They idly talked for a couple of minutes, but soon there was a silence between all of them. Carmilla knew that it was due to Danny and herself being in such close proximity to one another. After what happened back in the park, the broody girl knew that something changed in their relationship, or lack of one. She was conscious that they needed to clear a lot of things up to be in the same page before any sort of friendship can happen. But not tonight. Not right now. She appreciated the interaction she and Danny had, but her presence was starting to tip her over the edge. Carmilla was not in the mood of small talk and false pretenses at the moment. Between cigarette drags and exhaling, Carmilla unconsciously balled her firsts.

       “Well, I think I better get going.” _Good,_ Carmilla thought. “My shift starts in thirty minutes and I don’t want to be late. See you guys later.”

       Xena bid her farewells to the ginger twins, even waved at Carmilla. On any other day, she might’ve waved back, but she only returned a taut smile, if it could even be called that. She started shifting her feet, shuffling a few inches away from the dynamic duo before their voices brought her attention back.

       “Hey, Perry and I were wanted to ask if you wanted to go and celebrate with Laura after the exhibition?” LaFonbrain asked.

       “I was thinking of some place where they serve food. Laura told us that she was getting hungry and we were wondering if you —”

       “—Ugh, why are you even asking me this? Of course, I’m going.” Carmilla retorted looking at Perry. “And after all these years, you still ask me if I’m up for eating? I thought you knew me better than that.”

       She noticed that LaFontaine’s expression changed from surprise to offended as Carmilla uttered those words, but Perry stopped them. She immediately felt a pang of pain from her response, since they were only trying to help, but Perry knew that she got cranky when she was hungry and tired.

       “Sorry, Perry.” She lowered her face and took another puff from her cigarette as Perry waved her off, clearly unfazed.

       “You don’t want us to drop you at your apartment instead of going out to celebrate? Maybe we could go another day the four of us.”

       “No, I _want_ to go. I’m just… tired.” A couple of seconds passed by, she finished her cigarette, dropping the filter on the ground and stepped on it to extinguish the embers still visible. “Are you staying until the exhibition ends?”

       At that moment Laura appeared, her cheeks a shade of pink as she approached her friends.

       “Carm! There you are! I was looking for you, I thought you left.” She was radiant and full of life, the complete opposite of how Carmilla was feeling at the moment. She approached her friends, placing herself right next to Carmilla and linked their arms together.

       “Too many people, cupcake.”

       “The exhibition's almost over. You’ll be able to get some sleep soon cause your grouchiness is showing.” She poked Carmilla’s side with a finger.

       “Don’t be an idiot. We’re all gonna celebrate when you’re wrapped up.”

       “Are you sure? I mean I know you told me not to worry and that you are a big girl that can handle yourself for being sleep deprived, but I mean, you don’t have to. We can always do it another day because you _really_ don’t have to do this for me.”

       They looked into each others’ eyes briefly.

       “Of course I’m doing it for you.” Carmilla replied.

       Laura squeezed their arms together tighter and rested her head in her shoulder. Carmilla directed her eyes to tweedle dee and tweedle dum, who were both were looking at them with goofy smiles in their faces. Carmilla rolled her eyes and tried her best to look indifferent, but it was hard when Laura was so close to her.

       “Okay, so the good thing is that it ends in thirty minutes and people have already started to leave. So I hope that in forty five minutes it will be completely over. But come on, let’s head inside.”

       She took Carmilla’s hand and pulled her back to the gallery, the sudden direct contact made Carmilla’s heart start pounding as they were heading back inside. The change of air made Carmilla’s cheeks feel hot and as soon as Laura let go of her hand, she felt her heart drop.

       Minutes passed, and there were less and less people roaming the gallery, but time elapsed at an unbearably slow pace. Laura dragged Carmilla to the furthest corner, away from the girl from the wine and cheese.

       “Hey, why don’t you go and talk to that girl. Her name’s Natalie.”

       “Meh… I am not interested right now. And besides, she’s not my type.”

       “But what if you change your mind? I mean, it was obvious she was flirting with you every time you went to get more wine. Even I noticed it.”

       “I think I’ll pass.” She shrugged her shoulders.

\---

       “Oh my god, I can’t get enough of it,” Laura said as she took another bite from her grilled cheese sandwich.

       “That’s what _she_ said,” Carmilla replied, earning a serious look from Perry, a devilish smile from LaFontaine, and another poke from Laura.

       Her mood had increased drastically compared to a couple of hours ago when they were all back at the gallery. She was still tired, but the fact that Laura allowed her to fall asleep in her car throughout the drive from school to the Lustig _really_ helped her feel better for a while. Even more so, the grilled cheese sandwiches they were eating were a major factor in helping her recover quicker. And these sandwiches were indeed _very_ good. They had different types of cheeses, perfectly melted with remnants of cheese drips burned on the side of the perfectly butter toasted bread, cut in fours to make small triangle sandwiches, served with seasoned fries. And the best part was, since it was a food truck, they were allowed to bring the food inside. They were all eating on the patio, sitting under the umbrella of one of the tables in front of the tree decorated with Christmas lights. Several beer bottles and tall glasses scattered on the table, as well as an old compact camera that Laura had pulled out from inside her purse.

       “Was this all a massive coincidence, or did you knew that they were going to have food out there?” LaFontaine asked Laura, biting another piece from the sandwich they were sharing with Perry.

       “I planned _all_ of this, LaF.” She answered with the most serious face Carmilla has ever seen, but it was soon replaced by a mischievous smile. “It was all a coincidence. I mean, this is the second time I’ve been here, but I’m glad it somehow worked out.”

       “Well coincidence or not, these grilled cheese sandwiches… are _amazing_.” Perry exclaimed.

       Carmilla finished her beer, and asked the Weasley twins if they wanted anything from the bar, who answered they were still good.

       “Carm, wait. I’ll go with you.” Laura volunteered pushing back her chair to stand up. They both started walking from the patio towards the bar where Kirsch was busy mixing drinks and opening beer bottles. But as soon as he noticed Carmilla, he quickly moved towards them, ignoring the rest of the people already gathered there just like before.

       “What’s up, Carmsexy!”

       “Hey.” Carmilla propped herself on her elbow.

       “Hey Kirsch!” Laura stepped forward enthusiastically, bringing a smile to the guy in front of them.

       “Hey little nerd hottie! How have you been this lovely evening?”

       “Very good, thanks.” She smiled at him,

       “Why are you so dressed up? Did you have a hot date or something?”

       “Nope! I had an exhibition tonight.”

       “Oh dude, that’s so cool! Were there a lot of hot chicks?”

       “Um… yeah, I guess so.” Carmilla answered the tall puppy’s question by shaking her head as they stood silent for a couple of seconds. “Oh Kirsch, can I have two beers please?”

       “Two beers coming up.” He grabbed the beers from a cooler underneath the bar, and opened them, not taking his eyes off Laura. Placing them in front he continued, “Hey have you tried the sandwiches from the food truck already? I heard they were really good.” He turned his attention to the Carmilla. “Aren’t you going to have an old fashion tonight at all, sexy lady?”

       “Not tonight, beef cake. Perhaps some other time.”

       “Oh dude, you’re hurting my feelings.” He placed a hand in his heart in a dramatic way.

       “Whatever.”

       “Little Laur, before I forget.” He leaned closer to her. “I watched the movie with the Beobad guy that you recommended to me on Facebook the other day. You know, the one that had the chick from Tomb Raider?”

       “Beowulf?” Laura and Carmilla said at the same time, a confused expression on their faces.

       “Yeah, that one. It made me think that you like British stuff, don’t you?”

       They started making conversation and Carmilla was aware that Kirsch was hitting on Laura. She rolled her eyes because she knew Kirsch was a total flirt. He even flirted with her before he knew she was gay. Being a somewhat regular at the Lustig, she had been firsthand witness of his charms with other girls but said nothing, noticing how Laura apparently was unaware of the situation, which was understandable. Carmilla guessed that maybe Laura thought that Kirsch was being nice and friendly to her. She was probably _also_ oblivious that her body language or the way she interacted towards her was considered by the rest of the world as flirting. Laura was a sweet and lovely girl, but it was driving Carmilla crazy to know that she behaved like that with everyone because it meant there was nothing special between them. Not that there might ever be, but a girl is allowed to dream sometimes.

       “Don’t you have other customers to attend?” She interrupted them. The tall puppy turned his head and noticed a guy waving in his direction from the other side of the bar.

       “Oh right. I’ll see you later, sexy ladies.”

       They headed back to the patio and both simultaneously looked upwards to see the pair of legs still coming out from the fake window, a smile on their faces. They kept walking and sat next to one another, Laura trying to curl her legs on top of the chair but as she looked down, she noticed the skirt she was wearing and opted for crossing them instead. It was emptier than other friday nights. Everyone at Silas was a zombie since it was the last day of school and reading week was coming. Or they were just too poor to even afford a beer.

       “Hey, you okay in there cupcake?” Carmilla asked, after noticing Laura leaning closer towards her.

       “Yeah, I’m… Are you asking me if I’m cold? Aww, Carmilla.” She said as she stretched her arms and linked them around Carmilla. “Nope, today I brought a thicker jacket. And this skirt’s pretty warm, so I’ll be good when it gets chilly since you guys like to hang outside on the patio. And to answer your question, no, I won’t be getting cold anytime soon, but thanks for caring.” She smiled and patted Carmilla’s arm with her free hand.

       They looked into each others’ eyes and Carmilla gave her a small smile. At that moment, there was a flash and a click from a camera and Carmilla soon came back to her senses, looking at the camera pointing towards them. _Thank you ruining this moment, LaFon-pain-in-my-ass,_ Carmilla thought. LaFontaine lowered the camera and handed it back to Laura, who giggled and placed it back in her purse.

       “Do you think that if I develop the film, Carmilla will show?” Laura asked the brainy ginger.

       “Do you still believe that I’m a vampire?” She rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable.”

       “Well, now that we have all finished out food, I think it is time that we properly celebrate.” Perry exclaimed, raising her glass.

       “Here we go again.” She sighed as they all raised their beer bottles together. Perry shot her a look and raised her bottle as well.

       “Congratulations to Laura on her exhibition, which she sold three of her pieces, and also for both of you graduating and for the hope that our friendship will last even longer now you won’t have school.”

       “Cheers!” They all exclaimed, the sound of glass clinking filling the air.

       Like a sack of bricks, it struck Carmilla that her life as a student had officially ended. There were no more classes, no more homework, no more having to do her homework at work, or even walking from one building to another in the maze that was Silas University. It was a strange feeling that she only had reading week left and her adult life was about to begin. The adult life she had been dreaming for a long time had suddenly slapped her in the face before she could even grasp the idea.

       Her heart began to beat faster, her hands trembled, and there was a heaviness crawling up her chest. The dread of not knowing what she was going to do with the rest of her life struck her deeper and more intense than anything she had ever experienced. She needed air, to breathe, to get rid of the feeling that was asphyxiating her.

       “Hey, um. I’m not feeling well,” She shot up and began to make her way towards the exit.

       “Carm?… Carmilla!”

       But it was too late. She was walking out of the bar and into the streets, feeling the cold air hit her face and the pressure against her chest was becoming incredibly heavy. Both her body and mind had been too tired to even grasp the idea that her school life was officially over but once Perry said it out loud, it dawned on her that she was still not physically and mentally prepared to face the reality her life was going to lead her. She walked faster than usual, unaware of where her feet were taking her, but with every step she was feeling the dread, the weight of everything pressing her down to the point where it was getting harder and harder to see what was in front of her. _Stop crying_.

       She kept walking, trying to breathe, to regain control of her senses. The flashes of every emotion she suppressed throughout the years were overwhelming.

       Carmilla remembered the moment when she first stepped foot at Silas, her first stroll through the halls, her first exploration of the buildings in the dark. How innocent and pure of heart she was, so full of life and her expectations of the future were hopeful. She remembered the chills she got by looking at the stars from the dome in the library for the first time, and even losing track of time browsing through the never ending stacks of books, thinking that her future was still very far off in the distance. The times that she had lunch with Perry and LaFontaine, where they would sit in the floor between their classes, laughing and being young adults without a care in the world.

       She then remembered being introduced to Elle by the ginger twins when she was a freshman, and how deeply she fell in love with her. She remembered everything that happened in their relationship, from her own naive thoughts that they were meant for each other until the moment when Elle dropped out of school and didn’t even bothered to say goodbye to her. _Stop it_.  And then the memories of meeting Danny began to flow through her head along as the rest of the girls she slept with, thinking that she still had time to be fooling around at school. That she was capable of shutting her emotions off and not letting situations affect her.

       Flashes from her classes, her teachers, and even the sleepless nights spent reading, writing or racking her brains over an assignment that made her question if it was really what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She remembered how much she had changed with her mother, with William, and even towards herself. _Goddammit, stop crying_.

       Carmilla at last acknowledged how Perry and LaFontaine were her true friends as they tried to put her back together as best they could. And then there was Laura, who was becoming someone important in her life, despite only knowing her for a couple of weeks.

       Her feet took her to the only place that she knew she could be by herself undisturbed, the place with the overgrown grass and the bare tree that everyone had forgotten. The tears left cold traces as they flowed freely down her flushed cheeks. _Please, stop it_.

       But it was useless.

       She desperately tried to compose herself, to be the strong, unaffected Carmilla Karnstein she had perfected in recent years. She remembered how she had been broken and placed back together several times throughout her life, but this time it was different. It felt like it was too much. Carmilla allowed the feelings she had suppressed for years to flow, surprised that they were able to affect her the way they did. _Please_.

       She closed her eyes, a strange mixture of euphoria and horror consumed her entirely when suddenly everything began to spin and she felt like she was going to be sick. Defeated, she collapsed on a nearby bench with her eyes fixated on the ground, hands on her head. Endless minutes passed and her body felt both light and heavy at the same time and Carmilla wasn’t able to hear to her surroundings, only the deafening pounding of her heart against her eardrums. Her breathing was getting shorter and cold sweat began running down her cheek, mixing itself with the tears she had shed moments before. She tried to stand, reaching out in the distance to steady herself on something when her knees buckled against her will.

       And everything went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla gets medical attention

  

       “Carmilla. Carmilla, wake up.”

       A pair of hands were patting her arm, but everything sounded distant, muffled. She tried to remember what happened, but the world was still spinning.

       “Carm, please. Please! Open your eyes, you stupid lesbian!”

       She was able to listen to the sounds around her, focusing on regaining her senses until she was able to slightly open her eyes. Everything seemed to be out of proportion and distorted than it should be in its original state until Carmilla realized she was lying on the ground with a figure standing next to her.

       “Oh, thank god! Thank goodness you’re alive.” She felt the air in her lungs being crushed and there were arms covering her body. Carmilla looked around, trying to remember where she was and how she got there. “Oh my god, Carm. You scared the hell out of me.” She looked to see who it was and noticed it was Laura at her side, the smell of lavender filling her lungs, but she was suddenly removed, making her come back to her senses while a finger menacingly pointing at her. “Don’t you ever run away from me like that, you understand? _Ever!_ ”

       She sniffed as she once again pressed herself against Carmilla’s body. She felt a pang in her chest at the realization that Laura was crying. She wanted to say she was sorry, anything to console her, but before she stopped herself she hugged Laura and caressed her hair.

       “It’s okay, Laura. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

       She moved her hand to touch the tiny girl’s elbow, but the sniffling from the other girl would not cease for a couple of minutes. Carmilla broke the embrace and tried sitting up slowly, facing the girl with the biggest tears she had ever seen. She looked at her and examined her features, cupping her face with both hands and brushed a thumb to dry the tears that were still falling.

       “It’s just…” Her voice cracked and Carmilla felt a lump in her throat, never letting go of the smaller girl in front of her. “I got scared for you because you left all of a sudden and I followed you here. Perry and LaFontaine freaked out too but they got stuck with the tab and didn’t knew where we’d gone even though I texted them that everything was fine. And you walked really fast, Carm. Like, incredibly fast. But then I noticed you were crying and headed in this direction, and I called your name several times but you didn’t seem to hear me.” She took a breath and Carmilla moved one hand to caress Laura’s hair. “And then I noticed you got in this place and at first I was hesitant to even follow you in because I didn’t knew where I was or what you were doing, but once I entered I noticed you were curled up in the bench and looked all broken. Before I could get to you, you weirdly seemed to look better, so I wanted to reach out for you but then you collapsed and I freaked out and then I didn’t knew what to do and then I—.”

       “Hey. Hey, hey, hey Laura. Breathe. Relax, cutie.” She tried to sound as reassuring as possible for the sake of the girl in front of her. She hugged her again and ran her arm up and down Laura’s back.

       They stood silent for a couple of minutes.

       “Do you want to talk about it?” Laura asked, separating herself from Carmilla and looked at her straight in the eye. Carmilla shook her head, feeling how the ground shifted a bit by her subtle movements and there was something pressing her head. She didn’t want Laura to worry more than she already was, so she remained silent. “Do you want me to leave?” Carmilla shook her head again, this time more subtle.  

       Laura stood up first with a little difficulty because of her pencil skirt, but succeeded in the end. Carmilla tried to stand up but her legs felt wobbly, losing her balance. In the split of a second, Laura was supporting her, both her hands holding her steady around her waist. They were so close that Carmilla could see the faint trace of where her tears had travelled down her cheek.

       They slowly exited the park with Laura still supporting Carmilla, the sound of crickets filling the air between them as they both began to walk. The air was cold and the streets were empty with the streetlamps accompanying them on their way back. Minutes passed by, and Carmilla could still hear Laura sniffling besides her. At first it was Laura supporting her, now it was the other way around. Carmilla linked their arms together and pressed closer to comfort her.

       “We should go back to the Lustig.”

       “What? Are you serious?” Laura raised her voice. “No, we’re taking you home, like right now.”

       Carmilla didn’t have the energy to protest at that moment with Laura next to her, so she huffed and defeatedly accepted her offer. They slowly walked back towards the parking lot in front of the Lustig where Laura’s car was waiting for them. Both girls climbed in and Laura brought the engine to life. They drove for a couple of minutes until they arrived at the now familiar brick building with the wooden green door and a glass window with faded gold lettering that said “Upson Apartments.” It was a three story high building, with two sets of front windows facing the street, and two windows on top of the front door, located between each floor to bring natural light to the staircase.

       They parked the car, headed towards the main entrance and climbed the stairs until they reached the third floor. Carmilla was still out breath as they arrived at the door, even though they stopped at every flight so she could get some rest. As soon as they entered, the air in the apartment was cold, as if no one had been there all day. She dragged her feet to the cast iron heater that still miraculously worked like new and turned it on, a faint hiss could be heard traveling throughout the room.

       Carmilla took off her jacket, the scarf around her neck, the beanie, and the sweater, dropping everything on the ground. Laura trailed in behind her with a phone pressed to her ear, absentmindedly picking up the discarded articles of clothing and hanging them up, not noticing the beanie falling on the floor. She looked towards Carmilla with her lips curled into a smile, when suddenly she opened her mouth.

       “Oh, hey Dad! It’s me, Laura, your little daughter. Hey, listen. I know you’re busy because you are not picking up your phone, but I just wanted to ask you if you could help me with something? Before you freak out, I’m alright and everything is fine but I just needed some advice in how to deal in the situation of when someone faints? My friend fainted earlier and I just brought her back to her apartment. We’re both safe, I promise. Anyway, is there a certain procedure I need to follow or give her, certain medication or a tea of sorts? I know you’re not very fond of natural medicines but we both know they work. Okay, so please call me whenever you hear this and remember that I love you very much, okay?” Her voice reached an octave Carmilla has never heard of before and said, “Okaybye!”

       The second she pressed the “end call” button, she found a grinning Carmilla, sitting at the edge of the couch’s armrest.

       “What?"

       “That might or might not have been the most adorable thing I have ever heard. You have to do it again, sweetheart.” Carmilla said, chuckling and pressing her hand on her stomach, trying to suppress the laughter but to no avail. She started laughing so hard her stomach was beginning to hurt, while the  girl in front of her was giving her a look of disapproval, even though her lips were curling upwards despite her best efforts to look serious.

       “Carmilla! Don’t laugh at me!”

       “Oh, I wish I had my phone ready to record your voice. You sounded like a chipmunk.” She kept laughing without being able to stop. “Come on, you _have_ to do it again.”

       “Not unless _you_ do the old lady voice  that I have asked you several times to do and you refuse every single time.”

       Her insides were hurting from laughing so hard, but then her head began to hurt and she supported herself to the sofa with her hand.

       “Carmilla, are you okay?” Laura was quickly next to her, placing her arms next to Carmilla’s upper arms.

       “My head hurts a little bit, but I’ll survive, creampuff.”

       “It must be a side effect from you fainting. Oh my god, I wish my dad would answer me soon so I’d know what to do.” She sat down and placed her hands on her forehead, staying like that for a couple of seconds, before she looked up and said. “Um, I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry for asking you to do extra stuff, but can I ask you for a favor?”

       “What is it, cupcake?”

       “Can you lend me some clothes? You can just point me to where they’re at.”

       She waved her off with a hand still on her head and stood up. Laura followed her towards her room, stopping at the door frame. She opened a drawer and took a pair of dark gray pajama pants with little black skulls on them, and then the biggest shirt she possessed. Walking back where Laura was waiting at the door, handing her the bundle of clothes, she headed towards the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Carmilla closed the door from her room and she stripped herself from the clothes, replacing them with a pair of black leggings, and a plain black t-shirt. Noticing the clothes scattered on the floor, Carmilla decided to push them towards a corner with her feet, making her room look more organized in a matter of seconds.

       Returning to her living room, the temperature was warmer and nicer, allowing Carmilla to take her double socks off and wander around barefoot, throwing them again in her room with the rest of the clothes piling at the corner. She sat down and waited for Laura to reappear from the bathroom a couple of seconds later. Her stature seemed shorter with the shirt Carmilla handed to her, if that was even possible, the shirt almost reaching her mid-thigh with the sleeves almost to her elbows.

       “Are you sure you don’t have another shirt that might be more of my size? This one is ridiculously big.”

       “If you want another shirt you would have to do my laundry, cupcake.”

       Laura joined Carmilla in the sofa, when her phone began to ring, picking it up,

       “Oh daaaaaaaaaaaad!” She said in a high pitched voice. “Hey, thank you so much for getting back to me… Yes, I’m still with her… No, she didn’t hit her head… Okay, hold on, let me check.” She propped the phone with her shoulder and held Carmilla’s wrist with two fingers, and paced two fingers on her neck. “It looks good, I mean it’s beating the same as mine… Okay. Can you please turn around for me Carmilla? Thanks.” She raised her eyebrow but Laura gave her a stern look, so she did as she was told and felt how Laura pressed her ear against her back and checked for her respiration. “Okay, Carmilla inhale… Exhale… Once again, please… Exhale… It sound clear… Her eyes? Carmilla, can you please look at me now?” Carmilla turned around and Laura scooted a little bit closer “I won’t poke your eye, I just… I just need to check for something.” She opened them with her fingers while still holding the phone with her other hand. “Look up, down, okay now to the left. The other left.” She released her hand from her face, placing it on top of Carmilla’s hand on her leg. “Okay, thanks, no dad her eyes are not bloodshot, they look fine. Is there anything else I need to do? No, we’re in her apartment. Yes, I’m going to stay with her so don’t worry about it… Okay… Okay… Mmhmm… Yeah… Is that all? Okay, well thank you so much for everything dad. If anything happens, I’ll let you know. Okay, I love you too, bye dad!” She hung up the phone.

       “Please tell me everything, Dr. Hollis, spare me no lies. Has my fate been sealed? Am I going to die?” Carmilla asked, overly dramatic as if she was in a soap opera.

       “Fortunately, no. Congratulations, Miss Karnstein, you will get to live for another day.” She answered, sounding as serious as possible.

       “Oh happy day, Dr. Hollis. It’s such a joy on this day to know I will be well.”

       “You just need to be hydrated and not make any sudden movements. Oh, and we should be alert if you start feeling lightheaded again, But don’t worry, ma’am, the headache is normal. I just have to keep you on close observation to be assured there won’t be any complications.”

       She got up and walked to the kitchen, and looked for any clean dishes. Carmilla noticed she took two glasses and poured some water in them, returning to the living room and handed one to Carmilla before sitting down next to her right, next to the armrest.

       “No, but seriously. How are you feeling?” Laura asked, now breaking from character.

       “Much better. Thanks for the basic physical exam, cupcake.” They both took a sip. “So your dad is a doctor?”

       “Yeah, he works on the ER section so he deals with far worse things than this, but I know that I can always count on him for whenever anything like this happens.”

       “Did he made you take CPR lessons while taking the Krav Maga as well? Was he afraid that you would kill someone and have a change of heart afterwards and try to bring them back to life?”

       Laura smiled and nudged Carmilla with her elbow, and they sat in silence for a couple of seconds before Laura asked Carmilla if she had a television or a laptop so they could watch a movie. Carmilla slowly stood up, and walked back to her room, reappearing with a laptop, the charger, and a DVD in her hands. She hooked up the charger to the laptop before placing herself next to Laura, whose back was against the armrest, her legs crouched on top of the sofa. Carmilla stretched her legs and rested them on top of the chest she used as a coffee table, placing the computer down in the closest distance possible from the chest to the sofa without falling to the ground.

       “What movie are we going to watch?”

       “Just an old black and white film.” She answered sleepily.

       She popped the DVD from the box and inserted it in the computer, the screen went black and the home screen appeared. It was indeed a black and white movie, with the first words of the movie being “Once upon a time, on the north shore of Long Island, some thirty miles from New York, there lived a small girl on a large estate.”

       “Wait, pause it.” Laura said and Carmilla hit the spacebar on her keyboard. She stood up and went to Carmilla’s bedroom. A couple of seconds she came back with the duvet in her arms, sitting back on the couch and covered both of their legs. Laura shifted every once in a while, but ended up placing her legs across Carmilla’s, still keeping a close distance between them.

       “There, much better.” She breathed. Carmilla promptly resumed the movie and leaned back into the couch, making herself comfortable.

       Every so often, Carmilla would turn her eyes in Laura’s direction to make sure that she was actually watching the movie. She had seen it countless times, being her favorite movie since she was in middle school and knew all the lines by heart. Looking at Laura, how she gasped and then laughed when one of the main characters, David Larabee, broke the champagne glasses he had inside his back pockets as he sat on a chair. Or her reaction to when the cooking school professor was teaching the class how to properly crack an egg, when—

       “—Laura Hollis! I’m still waiting for you to explain that everything is okay with Carmilla!”

\---

       After being reprimanded by Perry, Laura and Carmilla sat still on the couch, even though the smaller girl explained everything was fine and that her father was notified of what had happened.

       “Didn’t it crossed your mind that getting a single text saying ‘Everything’s fine’ is not the best answer? LaFontaine and I got very worried when we couldn’t find you.” She took a breath, trying to calm herself. “When I asked you to let us know what happened, I was being serious, Laura.”

      “Yes, you did, but it wasn’t Dixie Chicks serious so—”

       “Oh, that’s just…” She managed to work herself up again, “Carmilla faints and you don’t think it is necessary to _notify_ us _about_ _it?_ What were you thinking, Laura.”

       “She’s right, Laur. Perry was really concerned not hearing back after that text.” LaFontaine added.

       “Well, now that you know that I’m alive, you can go and—”

       “—Oh no, we’re not going anywhere. Not until I know that you are out of danger.”

       LaFontaine disappeared in the kitchen, and returned with a beer in hand,  and sat on the edge of the sofa, placing the beer on the chest in front of them as they handed a glass of water to Raggedy Anne. Perry was still ranting about how dangerous it could have turned if Carmilla hit her head,  or if she didn’t wake up after a couple of seconds and that in her opinion she should have lied down for a longer period of time to allow the blood fully reach her brain and circulate at a normal rate. Laura and Carmilla sat down looking like reprimanded puppies, sipping from their glasses with water until Perry said that she needed to clean something, ending her rant at that precise moment.

       She stood up and LaFontaine slowly followed suit, probably to help the curly ginger. As soon as they got distracted, Carmilla extended her hand, reaching for the beer and began to bring it closer to her now empty glass of water, but before she could even start to pour, a hand from behind her snatched the glass bottle and took it away from her. Carmilla pouted and noticed Laura giggling quietly. She gave her a glare in return, which made her laugh even more.

       “So, what were you watching?” LaFontaine asked Carmilla from behind.

       “Just a movie.” Carmilla responded monotoned, turning her head to be able to see the redhead still behind her.They looked at the frozen frame in the screen and at once recognized the movie, saying the title out loud. Perry’s head suddenly appeared from behind the kitchen.

       “Oh, I love that movie! Carmilla, you better not start it yet. I want to watch it with you guys. I just need to do something really quick so we can all watch it together and have a normal evening liked we planned.”

       Carmilla rolled her eyes and she was about to press the spacebar and ignore what Perry had said, but before she could even reach the key, Lafontaine stopped her by placing their hand on her shoulder and shook their head. Carmilla slumped back in her place and crossed her arms. Soon after, gingerlocks appeared with two plates in her hands. She handed one to Carmilla, who placed it on top of Laura’s legs and held another one and sat down next to the brainy ginger.

      “Here you go, sweetie. Carmilla, you have to eat if you want to feel better.”

      _How the hell did Perry managed to create these fancy snacks in a matter of minutes?_ It was beyond Carmilla. She had salted crackers with a cream cheese and mustard spread under small slices of ham and cheese. There were others where she put a small amount of peanut butter with a sliced apple on top. And then, there were the ones that Carmilla really liked, which were a little bit of Nutella spread in the cracker, a slice of strawberry, and they were sprinkled with a little bit of grounded cinnamon.

       “Sorry if it’s not too much, but it’s the only thing I could think of and that it was available from what I could find here.” She took a seat on the opposite side of the couch, scooting closer to the bio teacher.

       “Are you kidding?” Laura said as she looked at the different variations of snacks before her, her eyes widening in amazement. “These are far better than anything I could have ever conceived myself. They look amazingly delicious, thanks Perry!”

       Carmilla took a cracker and placed it between her teeth, while leaning closer to the chest to pressed play. She began eating the snacks and begrudgingly enjoying her friend’s company. She began to notice that there were times in which Laura would not even move or even eat, too engrossed in the movie playing before her.  They kept eating the snacks, Laura occasionally grabbing one without taking her eyes off the screen. The movie kept running when they both reached at the same time and brushed their fingers, bowing their heads down in perfect synchronization and noticed the crackers were all gone. Carmilla placed the plate away and looked at Laura, asking for permission to rest her hands on her legs, she nodded in approval.

       They kept watching the movie when Carmilla felt a hand on her shoulder, the fingers moving as they traced patterns, bringing a soothing sensation that was really _not_ helping Carmilla fight the drowsiness that was becoming overwhelming. She did her best to focus scene from the movie were the main character, Sabrina, was talking with Linus Larabee while sailing on a boat and listening to old record in a portable record player. The characters talked about certain songs bringing certain memories to the both of them, and her talking about Paris and looking at ‘la vie en rose.” She felt her eyelids heavy, but she fought with all her might to not fall asleep since she really loved that movie, when —

       “—Well, this is a pleasant surprise. I thought I wouldn’t be seeing you tonight, since we both know it’s a habit of yours to be screwing around with those _precious_ little study buddies of yours.” A male voice drawled from behind them and Carmilla was suddenly jolted back to reality, her senses akin once again. “Guess I was wrong.”

       She followed the direction of the voice, and noticed her brother looking rather drunk.

       “Any place is better than sharing the same space with a brat like you. I bet you told mother that you were going to be at the library with your friends and she totally bought it.”

       “At least she trusts _me_ ,”  he retorted back. “Unlike others. Oh, and by the way, you’re all eating my food. Enjoying yourselves?”

       “Why don’t you slither back to your room and leave us all alone? And newsflash, I pay the rent in here.”

       “No, William it was my fault. I took everything without even asking.” Perry apologized, trying to make the situation less tense. “I can leave money to pay for the expenses.”

       “Maybe it’s best to ask next time, hmm?” He answered without even bothering to look at the curly ginger, and slightly stumbled towards his room. Slouching next to the door, he stopped and looked at Carmilla, analyzing her face.

       “Is this a new girl?” He directed his eyes towards Laura, sluggishly lifting his eyebrows and a devilish smile appearing in his face.

       “Hi, I’m Laura,” She shifted her arm across Carmilla’s shoulder and held her hand to him. “Nice to meet you…”

       “Will.”

       “Nice to meet you, Will.” She extended her hand, to which his eyes travelled along her body to notice how her legs were across Carmilla’s. He didn’t return the handshake and Carmilla felt the anger bubbling underneath her skin and tried her best to control herself, fully aware that he was probably going to exaggerate to their mother about the “parade of girls” she brings to the apartment.

       “Can I ask you a favor?” He directed the questions towards Laura.

        _Don’t you fucking dare be an ass to her_ , she thought as she gared at him with the deadliest eyes she could manage at the moment.

       “Um, sure?” She said, as she moved her legs from Carmilla’s and sat down straight, a confused expression fogging her eyes.

       “Try not to be too loud. Some of us use our beds to sleep and rest. Oh.” He lazily snapped his fingers. “And before you leave, shut the door behind you.”

       “Go to hell, William.”

       “Don’t be so broody, Kitty. You’ll grow wrinkles.” And he shut the bedroom door behind him.

       They all stood in an awkward silence for a couple of seconds.

       “Are you okay, Carmilla?” Perry asked.

       “Goddammit, if only he wasn’t my brother. I swear I would… Argh!” She moved her hands and imitated a strangling movement in the air, furrowing her brows.

       “Hey, Carm.” Laura called. “He’s not worth it.” She again placed her hand in her shoulder. “We’re here for you, and we all know it’s not true.”

       “Didn’t you tell us that you did—?”

       “—LaFontaine!” Gingerlocks lightly slapped their arm, and quickly rubbing it in a soothing way. “Now is not a good time to be the unofficial truth speaker, sweetie.”

       “Sorry.”

       “Can we please not talk about this?” Carmilla asked. “Let’s just finish the stupid movie and get this over with.”

       They continued watching the movie in silence. Carmilla had a hard time relaxing after the unfortunate series of events she had to endure with her imbecillic brother. But soon afterwards, Laura resumed tracing patterns in her shoulder, helping her return to a more peaceful state. Maybe too peaceful as she felt her body growing heavier as the movie progressed. She was getting very comfortable in the couch when Laura began to shift herself a little bit, placing her feet on top of the sofa cushions and bending her arm to support her head. Almost inaudibly, she told Carmilla to move in closer to her and rest her head on her shoulder, to which she was hesitant but obliged as they were sort of cuddling. Laura rearranged the duvet between them, placing her arm behind Carmilla’s shoulder and continued tracing patterns like before. Sometimes, the hairs on her arms bristled but it was a relaxing sensation she had started to become familiar with. After a couple of minutes, Carmilla surrendered to the inner struggle to keep her eyelids open, and listened to the sound of the movie in the back of her mind.

\---

       “Carm. Carmilla.” A soft, sweet voice was calling her name, while stranger fingers were running through her hair, bringing the most soothing feeling Carmilla could experience.

       Her eyelids felt heavy, but her senses were starting to become more aware. The hands that were previously caressing her hair, travelled to her shoulder and started lightly tapping it.

       “Come on lazy girl. Wake up.”

       “No.” She mumbled as she slowly shifted herself. As she did this, she noticed that both her head and hand were holding something resembling a soft body pillow, “I want to shleep on thish pillow forevur.”

       Only it was not a pillow, it was something else. She slowly opened her eyes and recognized her living room, with the bookcase and her computer pushed off to the side of the couch. But everything was shifted horizontally until she realized that it was not a pillow, but a dark fabric with skulls in them. The duvet was covering her body entirely compared to what she remembered earlier. She moved and looked up, meeting Laura's eyes who looked just as tired and sleepy as she did.

       “Hey there, sleepyhead.”

       “Hey.” She answered.  “How long have I been asleep?”

       “An hour or a little bit more, I can’t remember.” She sighed, looking now more tired than Carmilla had ever seen her, but she continued to run her fingers through her hair.

       “Wasn’t I resting my head on your shoulder or something like that?” She said, as she rubbed her eyes. The memory of falling asleep curled up on Laura in front of her appeared in her mind.

       “Your head was slipping from my shoulder every five minutes and my attempt to hold it steady with my cheek wasn’t helping, so Perry and LaFontaine wanted to wake you up to lead you to your bed. But I convinced them that we should let you rest a little bit longer since you did faint and all today. They stayed for a bit and we talked for a little while, at first being super quiet so we wouldn’t wake you up, but you were out like a light. Perry was really concerned and didn’t wanted to leave, but LaFontaine told her that they needed to wake up early tomorrow so they left.”

       “How long ago did they leave?”

       “Ummm… like 20 minutes ago.” She continued stroking her hair, bringing the heaviness back. “You seemed too comfortable I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.”

       Carmilla closed her eyes and was starting to drift off, but was shaken awake instantly.

       “No, don’t fall asleep on me.” Laura pulled with one hand the duvet, and tapped Carmilla’s shoulder with her hand. “Come on, let’s get to bed.”

       Both girls stood up and stretched themselves as they headed towards the bedroom. Carmilla walked to her empty bed and lifted the lonely bed sheet, crawling under it and curling into a ball as her body came in contact with the coldness. It sent shivers down her entire body and back. She brought a pillow closer to her and hugged it, as if it would help in bringing her body temperature back to normal when she felt something warm placed on top of her. It was her duvet plus an added an extra blanket weighing on top of her, providing her bits of comfort. Laura lifted the sheets and slowly curled up next to Carmilla, bringing their bodies close together to create additional body heat.

       “Thanks,” she managed to mumble from under the pillow before allowing herself to start drifting off to sleep. “And congratulations, sweetheart.”

       “For what?” Laura turned to face Carmilla and ran her hand to remove a strand of loose hair from the side of the sleepy girl’s face.

       “Your,” She deeply sighed, “exhibition.”

       “Thanks, Carm. Thanks for being there for me.”

       She felt how her body both heavy and light as she was drifting into her much awaited sleep.

       “Night, cupcake.” She said almost unintelligibly.

       “Good night, Carm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's a lot of red and Carmilla is a dork.

 

Carmilla (2:16 pm):       Are you busy, cupcake?

Cupcake (2:17 pm):       Kind of.

Carmilla (2:17 pm):       Oh.

Cupcake (2:23 pm):       Sorry. Aren’t you supposed to be studying?

Carmilla (2:27 pm):       I’m tired of studying for the day.

Cupcake (2:30 pm):       Are you gonna head home?

Carmilla (2:31 pm):       Haven’t decided yet.

Cupcake (2:34 pm):       Do you wanna see some magic?

       Carmilla followed the instructions Laura gave her through the phone and arrived at her destination where the supposed “magic” was going to happen. It was at the basement of the fine arts building and even though she enjoyed the making the weird submit, this was borderline terrifying. There was a single flickering light illuminating the entire hallway, creating a distant buzzing that was most likely copper wiring creating faulty contact. The only thing constant was the single red lightbulb lit next to a door.

       She knocked but there was no answer. After a pause and noticing the door was unlocked, she decided to let herself in. There was a small room lit up by fluorescent lighting, but she could hear music playing through the other side of a black curtain at the end of of the room. Carmilla always referred to as “old people music,” since it was music dating even before the 1960’s, which was the oldest she would admit to listening because of her extensive knowledge in classic hard rock.

       She crossed the small room, reaching for the curtain end to pull it aside, only to be faced with another black curtain. Opening the second curtain slowly, she noticed a small room where everything was illuminated in a rouge hue. Kinky. She slid the curtain to its almost original state again and peeked to observe the room in front of her, noticing a small figure working on something that projected light downwards on a small area in the back corner in the room, her back facing Carmilla.

       As her eyes adjusted to the chromatic light, she was able to recognize several things that at first glance she was unable to. It accommodated a single person, two at the most, with a big, red light source hung against the wall. There were two work benches on the opposite lengths of the room. The left side was occupied with a machine the small figure was working on seconds ago resembling the camera that looked like an accordion Laura had in her apartment. Only this one was much larger and the lens appeared to be facing down with a more complex machinery than Carmilla had ever seen since Laura was sliding things in and out of it, moving her hands in the lower section while the light was turned on for a couple of seconds before turning automatically off.

       Closer to where she currently was, there were shelves with glass containers, the labels barely visible, alongside a jar filled with pairs of tongs, a box of cookies, Laura’s belongings and a paper cutter within arm’s reach. On the right side of the small room, there was a spacious sink with a hose that fed water to a plastic tray almost as big as the sink itself. Three smaller trays were filled with water, one next to the other with masking tape at the edge, one reading, “Developer,” the second one, “Stop Bath,” and the third read, “Fixer.”

       Above them were ventilation pipes and what appeared to be water and gas pipes that spread out both in different directions and at different heights. Running alongside the room there were strings on the opposite ends, some of them with white sheets of paper spanning different lengths of the clothesline, as well as scattered clothespins attached to the strings that brought a weird sense of being both tall and short at the same time.

       After observing the red room around her, Carmilla decided that she should have a little fun while Laura was still oblivious of her presence. The music was cranked a little bit louder as a new song started playing and she heard Laura singing to the music. A grin formed in Carmilla’s lips as she slowly pulled the curtain aside, only peeking her face through it, and her suspicions were true. There she was, singing the old music, and… wait a minute, is she dancing? _Why does she look so damn cute even when dancing old people’s music?_ Not long after, the music stopped and Laura turned to switch to another vinyl on the record player allowing Carmilla time to move. She walked as slowly and as close to the small girl as she possibly could, without making a sound.

       “Didn’t pegged you for a grandmother, cutie.” She said right next to Laura’s ear, just like the last time she startled her.

       “Fuck!” She dropped the needle from her hand and automatically music began to boom through the speakers, turning to Carmilla . “Holy shit, Carmilla. Don’t do that again!” She exclaimed as she bunched her face and lightly slapped Carmilla’s arm. Turning back to the record player and replaced the needle to the beginning, she cranked the volume down to a turn it into background music.

       “Sorry,” Carmilla answered, suppressing the grin and trying to look serious. “I forgot.”

       “Well, you better remember it next time.” She was breathing faster, but she gave Carmilla a tight hug, who returned it enthusiastically. Breaking their embrace, Carmilla noticed that the girl in front of her was wearing an apron splattered and smeared with paint, her hair was tied in a messy ponytail and her shirt’s sleeves rolled up. _Goddammit, stop being so gay for this girl. Get a hold of yourself._ Carmilla turned and went back to the box of cookies to grab one and took a bite, followed by Laura who held the cookie between her teeth while she busied herself with the paper cutter and trimmed a sheet into smaller pieces.

       “So, what’s all this?” She asked after swallowing the last of her cookie, stopping right behind Laura to rest her chin in her shoulder.

       “Well, I was waiting for you so we could do…” She turned to face Carmilla, lowering her voice. “You know…” She moved closer to her, and looked around, placing her hand next to her lips, as if she was about to tell her a secret, “Magic.”

       “Is that what you kids call it these days?” Carmilla asked, lifting her eyebrow and bit the inside of her lip to hide the smile that was creeping through her lips.

       Laura smiled and lightly slapped Carmilla’s arm again, earning a grin from her as well. She was definitely going to get a kick out of teasing Laura for the day. It was getting rather warm, so Carmilla took both her jacket and sweater off, throwing them in the corner next to Laura’s belongings, and began to roll up her red plaid shirt’s sleeves.

       “Says the one that has the knowledge of a 334 year old lady _and_ watches black and white movies,” Laura grinned while Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Look,” she continued, pointing at the record player.

       “It’s a record player, cutie. It’s plugged to the power socket to work because it needs electricity to function.”

       “But the power socket works by magic. And the way the vinyl produces the music is _actually_ a miniature world with tiny musicians living in the grooves of the record player. And the needle has a mini microphone so we can hear them play.”

       “Seriously? So what.” She asked, trying to sound indifferent. “Airplanes and computers are also magical?”

       “Absolutely.” she answered matter-of-factly. “I mean, think about it. Science is not a thing because it doesn’t make sense, it’s just magic.”

       “As much as I would like to keep on with this subject, are we really going to stay here in the massive red light talking about this or was this just an excuse for you to see me?”

       “Just wait and see.” She went back to her bag and began to shuffle things around, apparently looking for something. “Soon enough, you’ll understand what I mean and _then_ we’ll see if you’re still a non-believer.”

       Even though she was tired from studying and reading, Carmilla was genuinely curious at what Laura was taking out from her bag, but hid her interest until she returned to her with a radiant smile. Laura asked Carmilla to close her eyes, earning a smirk and a raised eyebrow but quickly gave her a look. Carmilla sighed, rolled her eyes and obliged anyways.

       She felt a hand reaching out for hers, and it quickly made her heart beat faster by the sudden contact from Laura. There was a delicacy in the way Laura touched her that a chill ran through her body. She felt how her wrist was twisted, a thumb running through her fingers to open them and something cold, flat and lightweight was placed in her palm. When Laura told her to open her eyes, Carmilla realized she was holding an tin box with the words Altoids printed in it.

       “What’s this?” she asked, confusion apparent in her face, her eyes once again trying to readjust to the crimson light around her..

       “It’s a camera.” Laura answered still wearing that bright smile and eyes sparkling with excitement.

       “I hate to break it to you, cupcake, but this is a tin box.”

       “But it’s _actually_ a camera,” she playfully countered.

       “Oh, yeah? Says who?” Carmilla teasingly as she once again raised her eyebrow and moving a little bit closer to Laura.

       “Me.” She replied, standing on her tip toes with her arms on her hips, trying her best to look intimidating. “You may think that I am dorky and everything. But.” She lowered her voice and stepped closer to Carmilla. “What you have in here, is something more sophisticated than what you have ever witnessed in your life.” They were so close that Carmilla was unaware she was holding her breath.

       Laura distanced herself and Carmilla soon missed the closeness she had a second ago, walking back to her bag and began taking some other objects while Carmilla stood in her place, silently watching her. She arranged on the workbench what seemed like an old wooden box, a matchbox, a can of sardines, something that looked like a book, and there was another one that resembled more of a conventional camera. When they were all out, she asked Carmilla to open them all for her, who obediently obliged and they both set on to work, the music and Laura’s humming the tunes as noise accompanying them.

       She had some difficulty deciphering how all objects opened, specifically the book and the old wooden box. _If this place wasn’t so damn dark and red I would be able to open them easily,_ she thought.

       She heard a giggle next to her, and Laura took the objects and easily opened them.

       “Too much technology for you, Carmilla?”

       “Shut up.” She answered with a smile.

       “If you need help—”

       “—I… I can do it myself, _thank_ you.” She pulled the camera away from Laura, and began to look around it. _How the hell do you open these things? Stupid cameras and their extremely primitive self-securing mechanisms._

       “Don’t think too much about it, Carm. You might pull up a muscle,” Laura exclaimed, a laugh trying to escape from her throat.

       Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes staring at her as she was trying to do her best in not looking like a fool, and for once she was glad that everything was red around them, otherwise she would have noticed the frustrated blush as she tried to fidget with the object in her hands. Several minutes passed by, and defeatedly she placed the object down again, going back to take another cookie.

       “That bunched up face you do when you’re angry is hilarious, buttercup.” Laura said, trying to imitate Carmilla’s voice but stumbling over herself laughing.

       “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and took another bite from the cookie.

       “Whatever.” She imitated again, followed by a rolling of her eyes.

       Laura walked back to where Carmilla was, which was basically two steps, and began to explain in detail the mechanisms and the terminology of everything that composed a pinhole camera. Carmilla was completely lost in what Laura was saying, as if she was talking in Greek, but tried to play it cool and pretended to understand everything. Even though she did her best in trying to focus, her mind began to wander, observing her hands and how they moved around the camera as she was pointing at different things. There was a vein in her left hand that was more prominent and yet it was very delicate and beautiful. How her voice was more animated and how she even smiled and talked faster than usual.

       Even in the red light, Carmilla could not stop thinking that the girl next to her was beautiful. She pushed those thought aside and channelled her attention back to what Laura was explaining to her.

       “—Leave it too long because it will overexpose your picture and it will come out super dark, and you don’t want to underexpose it either because it will come out very light, like a ghost image. So let me make sure all the cameras are properly secured so no light can get in and ruin the pictures, and once we’re done taking them, we’re going to come back here and that’s where I’ll show you where the magic happens. Okay?”

       “Okay.” She answered as convincing as best she could.

       They both began to gather their winter clothes from the corner. Laura rolled her sleeves down, took off her apron to pull on a sweater, and then layered on a hoodie, a beanie, and a thicker jacket. Carmilla only put on her sweater and her jacket, but Laura insisted that she should wear a scarf since it was probably colder now. At first, she was not very excited about the idea, but Laura would not accept no for an answer and made her lean down a little bit, placing the scarf around Carmilla’s neck. It smelled like lavender with hot cocoa. Once they were done, Laura signalled Carmilla to follow her by pulling the curtains aside until they reached the door that led to the hall.

       “After you, milady.” The tiny girl exclaimed as she pushed the door aside and allowed Carmilla to exit before her.

       “Aww. Thanks, sweetheart,” she smiled as Laura closed the door behind them.

       Instead of heading to the staircases where Carmilla arrived, they headed towards an almost invisible door at the end of the hall. It was heavy and once they opened it, a cold wind hit both their cheeks and they began to ascend a long staircase that led to the rear of the fine arts building.

       It was an amazing view since all of Silas’ architecture was visible before them, the library being the crowning jewel of the whole campus with its imposing and beautiful decoration. Laura took the wooden box and stood still, securing the box with one hand, while the other slightly lifted a small lid for a few seconds, and placing it back down. She walked back to Carmilla and handed her the matchbox. She looked around and began to think of something worthy of a photograph, but she was thinking too much. They began to walk around the building and Carmilla noticed that Laura was taking another photograph with another one of the objects they had brought together. Carmilla followed the movements Laura did just a couple of seconds ago, aiming at what she thought was her main focus and moved the lid, waiting a couple of seconds before securing it again.

       They did this with the rest of the pinhole cameras, walking around campus and taking photographs until they utilized all the objects.

       Carmilla could feel her cheeks cold from the wind, so they decided to head to a coffee place in campus to buy something warm to drink. As soon as they opened the doors, the heat slapped them both in the face followed by a long line of people waiting to order before heading back to their studying. They walked to the end of line, that even a snail travelled at a faster distance than them.

       “My hair will turn white by the time we get our orders taken.”

       “You are so dramatic, Carmilla.” Laura laughed. They moved a quarter of an inch, “See? We’re moving already.” Carmilla rolled her eyes because, wow, they moved _so_ much. Laura signalled Carmilla to get closer to her, and pointed with her eyes towards a girl who was apparently in her pajamas and whispered, “That’s your girlfriend right there.”

       The broody girl wrinkled her nose and knew here this was going.

       “You have a very low opinion of me, cutie.” She scooted closer to the tiny girl and said, “That’s yours right there.” Pointing at a girl with extremely tight lime green sweatpants, highlight yellow hoodie and a headband that was too close to her eyes.

       They began to point out at different people, sometimes fluctuating between girls and guys, and having a good time.

       Laura pointed at a girl that probably decided that wearing Silas sweatpants, a Silas hoodie and a Silas scarf was the best outfit ever. Carmilla pointed at another girl that was apparently wearing different shoes, same style but different colors. There was a guy with extremely low pants that they almost reached his knees and an oversized jacket while Laura pointed a guy who looked like the sweater he was wearing was two sizes too small. They kept quietly laughing until they reached the end of the line and placed their orders, when Laura asked to pay her her drink, but Carmilla insisted.

       “Thanks, Carm,” She said and hugged her.

       Even though Carmilla would always roll her eyes whenever Laura pointed at a guy as her “boyfriend,” it struck her even more that Laura didn’t object when Carmilla pointed at a girl for her and instead she went go along with it. Maybe it was just so Carmilla wouldn’t feel left uncomfortable, but then again, she hung out with the Bobsey twins, Danny and herself, all queer one way or another. So maybe she got used to looking at girls and talking about them freely without feeling like she was going to be judged or frowned upon.

       “Now get out of here and start forming the line while I pay for our drinks, sweetheart.” She turned back to the guy taking her order, her face quickly changed from a shy smile to a bored expression. She still had an image to uphold, even though she was about to graduate.

       “Anything else?”

       “Can I borrow the cup and the marker?”

       “Sure.” The guy handed her both cups and Carmilla began to scribble something in Laura’s cup, and handed it to the cashier, who looked at the cup and eyed her suspiciously. Carmilla rolled her eyes and paid for the drinks.

       “Under what name is the order?”

       “Carmilla.” She answered flatly. She turned to look at Laura, who waved in her direction and smiled in return, waving her back. The young man behind the counter asked her something, she only replied with a “yes,” not aware of what he asked her.

       “Is that all?” He asked her, her full attention to him now.

       She pointed to a brownie and quickly hid it from Laura in her jacket pocket. She paid and met her, who looked even more adorable with her beanie and her nose was red. They kept talking, people around them coming and going until they were almost at the small dispatch area.

       “I have a… a… a special order ready at the bar.”

       Carmilla took both cups and noticed that the cashier wrote “Caramel” in the cup.

       “Seriously?” She exclaimed as she held both cups in her hands, offering the one with all the scribbling to Laura. “Here you go cupcake, a special order.”

       “Didn’t you ordered hot chocolate for me?”

       “No.” She answered, biting the inside of her lip to keep a straight face. “It’s um… Leeches, some knottgrass, a dash of fluxseed and I think they even added some hair somewhere in there. It says so right there, cutie.” She said unamused as she pointed to her own handwriting, while taking a sip from her own cup.

       Laura’s face shifted from happiness to disgust, sniffing it to make sure she wasn’t being serious. She took a small sip, a smile replacing her frown.

       “Thanks, ‘Caramel’.” She hugged her.

       Carmilla was getting used to the physical contact between them both, but sometimes it still took her by surprise at how affectionate Laura could be towards her.

       “No problem, cutie.” She answered drily, fully aware that Laura was not going to drop the nickname anytime soon.

\---

       “So… I got you something,” Carmilla said as Laura changed the record within the red light, placing the needle and the music was brought to life. “But first, close your eyes.”

       “What is it?” Laura smiled, looking at Carmilla straight in her eyes, while she stared at her with an annoyed expression.

       “I guess you’ll have to close your eyes and figure it out by yourself, cupcake.”

       Her heart was beating faster as she reached for Laura’s hand, lingering her fingers on her wrist as she slowly pulled it closer. She reached for the brownie still wrapped in plastic wrap in her pocket and placed it delicately in Laura’s palm, and pushed the girls fingers so they had a better grip on her new gift.

       “You can open them now.”

       Laura did and as soon as she noticed the content in her hand, a huge smile spread across her face.

       “Oh my god, Carmilla. You got me a brownie?”

       She quickly opened her arms, hugged Carmilla and thanked her from what seemed to be from the bottom of her heart. It warmed Carmilla’s heart to see Laura smile like that. Like it was enough for her to be able to show her she cared about her, even through small gestures.

       “No, it’s not a brownie, sweetheart.”

       Laura took a bite, and her eyes opened wide in disbelief, but soon furrowed her brows and looked at her incredulously.

       “Carm, what do you mean it’s not a brownie?”

       “I’m telling you, it’s not.” She tried to sound as serious and convincing while she was taking her layers of clothing away and rolled her sleeves again. “It’s a… a magic cookie.”

       “A magic cookie?”

       “Yeah,” she said, trying to hide her amusement. “It’s a magic cookie that will turn into any other food. So in your case, it turned into a brownie.”

       Laura’s lips curled into a smile, and even in the again red light, they seemed to lighten up and she began to eat it, offering a bite to Carmilla every now and then. The music was playing, filling the silence encompassing the two girls. At first she thought the song seemed sort of familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

[ _“Dance with me, I want my arms about you,_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpiMoqXvJdQ)   
_The charm about you will carry me through,_   
_To heaven, I'm in heaven._   
_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak._  
_And I seem to find the happiness I seek._  
_When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.”_

       At those last words it dawned upon her the name and where she first heard the song. It was titled “Cheek to Cheek” and she once saw it in a black and white movie with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, but that was something that she would not say out loud, even though Laura already knew she was into black and white movies.

       They finished it and they both washed their hands and patted them dry with the paper towels available for them. Carmilla began to take out and open the pinhole cameras they took photographs with and delicately took the papers out.

       “Why are they white? Didn’t we take some pictures on them?”

       “That’s where the magic comes in handy, Carmilla. I’m going to lead you so you will be the first one to do it, okay?”

       “I don’t even know why you trust me with these things, but alright.”

       They took a small piece of paper and Carmilla was instructed to dip it in the tray that read “Developer,” moving the piece of paper underneath the water for a couple of seconds before taking it out. She shook the photographic paper to get the excess water off and doing the same with the next tray that read “Stop Bath.” Nothing was happening and was beginning to question Laura’s judgment, until she finally repeated the same process in the “Fixer” tray. It took a couple of seconds until an image suddenly appeared right before her eyes.

       “Oh my god! It’s magic!”

       “Told you so.” Laura said, bumping Carmilla’s hips with her own.

       “But wait. Why is it weird looking?”

       “Oh, you mean inversed? Don’t worry, I’ll fix it and show you when they’re ready.”

       They kept repeating the process until they finished developing all the small photographs. Carmilla was not content with how the pictures came out, but she trusted Laura to fix them. After all, she was getting a degree out of it.

       She sat at the edge of the workbench and observed how Laura kept working in the photographs, grabbing a cookie and sipping from her coffee until the smaller girl said that they were done for the day.

       After arriving to her car, they silently drove across town towards Carmilla’s apartment where Carmilla continued studying, while Laura did the same. Both were tired but not tired enough to call it a night. Even though they didn’t speak much, it was a comfortable silence between them uninterrupted by anyone.

       A few hours passed before Laura got ready to leave, gathering her books and quietly packing them in her bag. Carmilla watched from the corner of her eye, not focusing on her reading but on how quiet Laura seemed to be making herself, obviously trying not to disturb her studying. Knowing she had been caught, Laura smiled as she noticed Carmilla looking at her, her movements louder and less careful. As she was almost ready to leave, Carmilla stood up and walked over to her front door and met Laura before she left.

       “Thanks for showing me magic, Laura.” She finally broke the silence, feeling as if she knew something about Laura that no one else knew; something that made her very happy.

       “You’re very welcome, Carm,” the girl replied, almost in a whisper as she gave her a hug.

       They broke their embrace and Carmilla observed the smaller girl walk across the hall and disappear under the stairs before closing the door behind her. She continued studying, unaware that she was still smiling as she went through several pages of her book.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it is graduation day for both Carmilla and Laura.

 

       Carmilla decided to take a nap after being forced to listen to the speeches from the Dean of Students, the president of the National Honors Society, but didn’t even bothered to finish listening to the Summa Cum Laude’s of the graduating class neverending blubbering. If only she didn’t have to be up at the ungodly early hours in the morning. And the fact that she was inexplicably nervous the night before, depriving her of her much deserved sleep, didn’t helped her at all. The only good thing was that the weather was less chilled than the past couple of days, proving a nice contrast to the usual cold and windy as the graduation ceremony was taking place in the quad.

       She was suddenly awakened by a loud chant from the Zetas, yelling something that Carmilla thought sounded like “Pizza or Death," making it impossible for her to return to her slumber. Fortunately for her, the college of Liberal Arts was the last college to be announced, meaning the ceremony was almost over. The sleepy girl straightened herself up, realizing she slept through half the ceremony before she noticed the neverending line of graduate students still continued walking up towards the raised platform. She paid attention to the long list of last names that had been slowly dwindling, announced by the masters of ceremony. Carmilla knew that Laura was sitting only a couple of rows in front of her, since her last name started with an “H” while hers was “K.” But the constant cheering and whooping from the crowd surrounding her made it difficult for her to make out the last names being announced. She channeled her attention to figuring out the last names, recognizing Higgins, Hildebrandt, Hinojosa, Hixon, Hobbs, Hochfelder, Hodgins, Hofmeister, Holden, Hollingworth.

       “Laura Hollis, Bachelor of Fine Arts in Photography.”

       Laura came into view and was almost bouncing from excitement. Carmilla could not take her eyes away from her, who seemed radiant and with that smile that brought a wide smile in herself and cause her heart to beat stronger. And maybe, just maybe, the fact that she looked so beautiful and adorable with her hair down, wearing a dress and small high heels. She was almost an inch taller than the Dean of Students. Almost. Carmilla cheered for her friend, when a very distinct cheer coming from the bleachers in the distance caught her attention. She followed the sound of the whooping and applause and noticed that it was the Dimwit Squad who were creating the commotion. Perry and Danny were cheering and holding a small sign with perfect handwritten letters and decorative flourishings and hearts that read “CONGRATS LAURA! WE LOVE YOU!” while LaFontaine was taking pictures. She looked again in the direction of Laura, and caught her shaking the Dean’s hand and smiled before she continued walking. As she began to descend the stairs, she gave a small and dorky victory dance, the smile never fading from her cheeks.

       There were now four rows before she had to walk and it felt as if in the blink of an eye, it was her turn to stand up and start walking towards the stage. Kane, Kaplan, Kapoor. With every step, Carmilla felt her knees grow weaker and her hands were now profusely sweating as she was approaching the platform. She gripped the half sheet of paper with her name as if her life depended on it before handing it over to the official to have her name be recited in front of the crowd. Kapral, Karalis. She climbed the small flight of stairs. Kapusniak. The closeness to the two random strangers standing both in front and behind her was beginning to bother her.

       Three people. Karathanasis.

       Two people. Karbowsky.

       One person in front of her. Joseph Karlinsky.

       The official looked at her name in the sheet of paper and drew a breath. _Moment of truth_. There was a smile that she was unaware she had been wearing as she gave the first step towards the stage.

       “Carmilla Karnstein, Bachelor of Arts in English Literature.”

       She heard a handful of people cheer for her as she walked and met the tiny, white haired Dean of Students, who shook her hand and congratulated her before turning towards the audience when she spotted her. Laura had a radiant smile and clapped the loudest from amongst the sea of faces as she was still walking towards her seat. She looked at her and smiled when soon after Carmilla spotted the Bobsey twins who were holding a cardboard sign, and it was Jolly Red Giant’s turn to take pictures. The sign had chicken scratched letters and stars, what looked like a crow quill pen (or is that fire?), and a book that resembled a sandwich, obviously made with a permanent marker that said, “ABOUT TIME, CARMILLA!” and in smaller lettering “WE STILL LOVE YOU!” As Carmilla kept walking, the ginger twins were still holding the sign and frenzily waved at her, and Danny was even cheering for her after placing the camera in her lap. Carmilla gave a small, shy wave, before she began to descend the stairs and met the rest of the graduates as they all continued walking to their assigned seat.  

       The crowd continued cheering to the newly graduates behind her as Carmilla kept slowly walking until she returned to her seat, trying to contain her excitement but finding once again the tiny beaming girl, who had turned and waved in her direction, before turning to pay attention to the rest of the ceremony taking place.

       If there was a moment where Carmilla could say that she had been truly happy, that moment was probably in her top five. Simultaneously tired and genuinely happy, she tackled a huge milestone that had taken her longer to accomplish than what she had originally expected. But she made it  nevertheless, and all the years of hard work and dedication had paid off. Even more important, she was thankful that she wasn’t alone in the world, and her friends were there supporting her as they have always been these past few years.

       Before she knew it, and as her smile had slowly turned into a smirk, the ceremony was over. As soon as the Dean of students congratulated all the new graduates, Carmilla rose from her seat and started weaving between the chairs towards Laura. As she walked, she noticed she was standing on top of her seat, who seemed to be looking for her as well amongst the crowd of black and gold. When she got closer, Laura jumped from the seat and quickly made her way over for a hug, holding each other so tightly that Laura’s cap got almost knocked over by Carmilla’s head.

       “Congratulations, Laura.” Carmilla whispered in her ear.

       “Congratulations, Carm.”

       They stood like that for a couple of seconds, when Carmilla broke the embrace and noticed the tears forming in the Laura’s eyes.

       “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

       “It’s just,” She wiped the tears from her eyes, smudging her make-up a little bit, “It’s just that this means it’s finally over. Our life as college students is over.”

       Laura’s tears were still forming behind her eyes but Carmilla ran her thumb to catch it before it ruined her makeup and embraced her again, running her hand up and down Laura’s back. Before long, the ginger twins and Xena found their way down from the audience section in the quad and were next to them. They all hugged each other and quickly started wishing the newly graduates their best wishes. Even Danny gave Carmilla a side hug and congratulated her before they separated. Carmilla returned to Laura as she rested her arm across the latter’s waist, while the ginger twins insisted on taking pictures of them. Carmilla rolled her eyes, still smiling despite her efforts in hiding her emotions, but she was too happy at the moment to try and be disaffected and broody, so she accepted.

       Flashes came from several directions, as Danny offered to take their photographs. First with Perry, then LaFontaine, and then both, and finally all four of them before switching to Laura’s turn with the dimwit squad. After what felt like a thousand pictures, Laura request one of both her and Carmilla. She felt Laura stand next to her and pulled her in for a tight hug. Carmilla followed the embrace, squishing against each other and both scrunching their faces while they smiled, as one last flash went off before they broke their hug. Carmilla felt how Laura rested her hand across her waist, never breaking contact.

       “Laura!” A male voice boomed from their side. She quickly turned her head, and ran to hug a man that seemed vaguely familiar to Carmilla.

       “Dad! You made it!” Laura flung her arms around him, both affectionately hugging each other. It dawned on Carmilla that it was the man in the pictures back in her apartment, only this one had grayer hair.

       There were flashes still coming from Perry’s camera.  They continued for a couple more seconds, when Laura’s father lowered his head and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and held him closer to her body, while he began soothing her running his hand the same way Carmilla did before. Mr. Hollis broke the embrace, scooted down to be at her eye-level and ran his thumb through Laura’s cheek, before standing again and gave her a kiss in her forehead. Carmilla noticed that Laura hugged him again, before turning her attention to address her friends.

       “Dad, you remember Perry and LaFontaine. And this is Danny, she’s a grad student but works at Rob and Pierre’s, the place I took you sometime ago, remember? And this” she pointed in the raven haired girl’s direction, “is Carmilla.”

       They all shook his hand, as he seemed truly happy to see his daughter’s friends. He even made a remark about the pancakes being so delicious at Danny’s job, until it was Carmilla’s turn to shake his hand.

       “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hollis. I’m Carmilla Karnstein.” They locked their hands together, but he took longer to let go of hers.

       “So you’re the one that little Laura here won’t stop talking about?”

        _I hope some of them were at least decent things about me_ , she thought.

       “Dad, Carm doesn’t need to know that.” Laura smacked him in the arm, looking bashfully away from Carmilla, who felt a sudden warmth crawling across her face.

       “How are you, Carmilla?”

       “Tired and hungry, but very good, sir.” She answered, still holding his hand, returning the firm grip and trying to regain her self-control.

       “Any more fainting?”

       “No, sir.”

       “No more weird allergic reactions to falafel?”

       “Not even that.” He let go of her hand, but noticed that Laura quickly turned her eyes towards the ginger twins, but said nothing.

       “Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Carmilla.” He turned to the red heads. “And thank you keeping an eye on my daughter.”

       “It’s the least that we can do, sir.” LaFontaine answered, their eyes travelling from Laura to her father, finally landing on Perry.

       “Does she still keep her secret stash of cookies somewhere around in her apartment?” Mr. Hollis asked.

       “Dad!” Laura protested. “Does everyone know where I hide my cookies?”

       “Yes.” All of them answered in unison.

       Apparently the embarrassment that Laura went through with her father was enough to take her mind off the emotions that were making her eyes grow teary only minutes ago. The massive crowd of graduates taking pictures was still a rather large one, but before they left on their separate ways, Laura asked to have a picture taken with her father. Perry obliged, but before they all parted their ways, Mr. Hollis asked for the gingerlocks’ camera, and asked them all to pose for a group picture.

       Before the flash went off, Carmilla felt as if nothing could go wrong that day.

\---

       “About time you decided to show up. We’ve been here waiting for you for a half hour, Carmilla.”

       “I was just—” She replied.

       “—No excuses. Get in the car. William, please drive, sweetie.” Carmilla did her best to not roll her eyes and obeyed her mother. Even though Carmilla was the eldest, she always preferred to sit in the back seat of the car. “I don’t understand what was so important for you to have kept us waiting for so long. We would have brought two cars rather than one.”

       “I was taking pictures with my friends—.” She answered between her teeth.

       “—I don’t care where you were, when I tell you to meet us at a certain place and time, I expect you to obey me. Your resemblance to your father is surprisingly uncanny.”

       They started driving out of the parking lot and Carmilla distracted herself from her mother’s never-ending rants by looking out the window, noticing how happy everyone seemed to be as the crowd began to disperse and they all began to drive away. The car suddenly stopped and her mother gave a frustrated sigh.

       “By the time we get out of this mess, your aunt will already be waiting for us in the house. This was why I wanted to leave early, so we wouldn’t have to deal with this _entire_ mess.”

       “I’m sure Aunt Mattie will understand, mother.” William replied and gave her a crooked smile her mother always found endearing. She looked at him with tenderness and placed her hand over his upper arm.

       “Thank you, William.” She added as they began to slowly drive again. “You better than anyone know how much I hate to have people waiting. Or that I should wait on people, for that matter. ”

       It was always the same thing when it came to her relationship with her mother, or her family in general. Ever since they found out that she had decided to drop out of Business Administration and Entrepreneurship to enroll in English Literature, the entire family questioned and pointed out her motives, especially her aunt Mathilde, who was her mother’s only sister. When she first changed her major, she felt bad and became hesitant of her choice since she would be the first Karnstein to pursuit a career that wasn’t related to medicine, law, business or engineering. But as time went by, Carmilla realized that it was _her_ life she needed to live, and not her entire family’s. So she started to just brush off their comments and decided to attend to less and less family gatherings to avoid any further discussions by excusing herself in being busy with work, or too much homework, or she had to study for an upcoming exam. It reached a point where mother didn’t even bothered to notify her of the gatherings, and she was glad that the torture was finally over as well.

       They arrived at the house and Willie boy parked the car next to their aunt, who was waiting for them inside her car. _Ugh, here we go again_ , she braced herself as she opened the door and climbed out of the car.

       “I certainly wasn’t expecting this. I’ve been here for a little over ten minutes.” She remarked, stepping out of her car.

       “Carmilla was idling with her classmates which cause us to hit a bit of traffic on the way out.” Her mother replied, as they headed towards the front door.

       She walked slower than her mother and brother, observing how her aunt congratulated William on his graduation by giving him hugs and taking pictures of them both with her cell phone, completely forgetting of Carmilla’s presence. They all entered the house, Carmilla noticed there were some changes in the furniture, as well as a few new paintings here and there since the last time she stepped foot in the place. It was a big and beautifully adorned house, but it wasn’t home. At least not for her.

       Noticing how her aunt was engrossed in paying compliment to her brother about being so handsome, and being “such a good boy”, Carmilla excused herself by saying that she needed to go to the bathroom, retreating to the second floor. As soon as she was out of sight, entering what used to be her bedroom and locked the door behind her, she took off her cap and gown, tossed it on the floor, and entered the bathroom, locking that door as well. She placed down the toilet cover and sat there, placing her hands in her forehead and breathed deeply, thinking of how she was going to get out of that uncomfortable situation. She took out her phone, and even though her list of contacts was not extensive,  the very first person that popped to her head was the one that she knew could save her.

Carmilla (2:36 pm):       What’s the plan for the evening, cutie?

Cupcake (2:38 pm):      There’s a Zeta party they’re throwing for the recent graduates.

Carmilla (2:39 pm):       What time?

Cupcake (2:40 pm):       I’m not sure, probably sometime late.

Carmilla (2:40 pm):       Wanna go?

Cupcake (2:41 pm):       Together? Aren’t you supposed to be doing family stuff tonight?

Carmilla (2:42 pm):       Yes. But I’d rather ditch them.

       There was a knock on her door, and Carmilla knew that she needed to go back. She didn’t wanted to, since she was fully aware of what was going to happen downstairs.

Cupcake (2:45 pm):       Is everything okay, Carmilla?

       Before she had the opportunity to reply, the knocking became more insistent and harder on the door now.

       “I’ll be there in a sec!”

       She flushed the unused toilet and looked at herself in the mirror, unable to believe how happy she was not even an hour ago, while she was taking pictures with the girl that made her involuntarily happy. She unnecessarily washed her hands and left the bathroom and looked at her phone once again, realizing that Laura knew something was up. It was not like Carmilla to be insistent in going somewhere, but desperate times meant desperate measures.

Cupcake (2:48 pm):       Where are you?

Carmilla (2:49 pm):       My mother’s house.

       Carmilla descended the stairs, where her mother, her brother and aunt were already gathered in the living room, drinking tea and in the middle of chatting about his prospective job opportunities. Carmilla felt like she had been invited to a party she didn’t belonged to, so she retreated herself and observed from a distance at their exchange of thoughts.

       They talked about his professors, his classes, between his thoughts on the economic impact between supporting small businesses compared to big corporations.  They continued talking, while her aunt told William that if he ever needed anything, he shouldn’t hesitate in asking for help. Or if he ever needed a reference when applying for a job, if he knew that certain companies were hiring at the moment, of how glad they were of him following the footsteps of the family, and whether he planned on keeping up with the family business.

       Lunch was served and Carmilla was assigned to sit next to her mother’s sister, Mathilde.

       “So, Kitten.” Carmilla had always hated that nickname. “How does it feel to finally graduate?”

       “It feels good. I was ready to graduate.”

       Carmilla took her phone out inconspicuously and began to send a text message to the only person that she knew could save her out from the situation she was about to emerge herself in.

Cupcake (2:57 pm):       Text me if you need anything, okay?

Cupcake (3:13 pm):       Hey. I’m going to have some lunch with my dad.

Carmilla (4:28 pm):       You busy, buttercup?

       “Well, I bet you are. How many years was it?”

       “Six, Aunt Mattie.” She took a sip from her drink.

       “I remember when I was in college, I finished my degree in four. What did you graduated from again?”

       “English Literature.”

       “English? What are you going to do with that.” She asked, faking interest while smirking.

       “She wants to become a professional writer, Mattie, or work for a magazine.” Her mother interjected. “Wasn’t that what you told me last time, Carmilla?”

       “Yes, mother. I’ve had some job interviews already.”

       “And have they called you back?” Her aunt asked.

       “Not yet,” she took a bite from her meal. “I’m getting one of my works published though. They accepted one of my stories in a magazine.”

       “A magazine, Kitty? Really?” William exclaimed, raising his eyebrow. “And how much are they going to pay you for that?”

       Her phone buzzed underneath her leg. She took the opportunity since her mother wasn’t paying attention to her.

Cupcake (4:34 pm):       Sorry Carmilla, I was watching a movie with my dad. Why?

       “They better pay you a good amount, Kitten. Otherwise it’s like giving your work away and you should always try to take more out of those sort of people.” Her aunt added.

       “It was a short story.” Carmilla replied, before taking another bite from her meal.

       “A short story?” Her mother asked, looking her straight in the eye disapprovingly. “And what about that huge thing you once mentioned? Are you done with that?”

       “Well no, but—”

Carmilla (4:35 pm):       Can you do me a favor?

       “When are you finishing it?” She asked, more serious now.

       “Now that I graduated, I’ll have more time to concentrate on my writing.”

Cupcake (4:35 pm):       Anything. :).

       “I don’t understand why you should spend so much time in just writing,” her aunt said. “Nowadays, any baboon could put a series of words together and call it an abstract story.”

       “It takes more time than that, Aunt Mattie.” Carmilla placed her utensils down. “You have to think of the characters, their voices, their way of thinking. For example, you and my mother don’t talk the same way, you have different mannerisms or even facial expressions. You have to think of every possible detail that you can imagine and place it on paper. That is why it takes so much time.”

       “Surely it doesn’t take you years to finish a story and if so, you’ll never know if someone will find it worthwhile to read.”

       “And what about your job, Carmilla?” her mother interrupted. “Are you still working with that old man in that decrepit bookstore? I’m surprised it hasn’t closed since it always seems so vacant.”

Carmilla (4:37 pm):       Can you come and pick me up? Before I kill my family?

       “A lot of people go to that bookstore, mother. And please don’t talk about Mr. Bauer like —.”

       “Carmilla. What are you doing?” Her mother asked.

Cupcake (4:38 pm):       Please don’t say that.

       She looked up and feigned her best impression of innocence. _Shit_.

       “Nothing.” She started tapping the keyboard with one hand without looking down, while the she placed her free hand visibly on top of the table.

Carmilla (4:39 pm):       Or before they kill me.

       “Don’t think you are fooling me. You know my rule against phones during meals.”

Cupcake (4:39 pm):       What’s the address?

       After being scolded by her mother for breaking another one of her precious house rules, Carmilla felt how, despite her best efforts in hiding her feelings from her mother, her anger was starting to show. They moved the living room after finishing their meals and Mathilde began to comment on Carmilla’s future, as if she were able to do anything to change it at this point.

       “It’s just that I don’t understand you, Kitten.” Carmilla had always hated how the word came out from her aunt’s lips. “You have a whole life ahead of you, a very promising future because you are a Karnstein. Your financial success is practically guaranteed. And yet, you choose to make a career out of reading books and writing? I enjoy reading, but it’s a career choice that will run you to the ground without the essential things in life. Take me for example. When I first started college I wasn’t sure of what I wanted to do, but thanks to your grandfather, bless his soul, he steered me in the right direction. And now I have a beautiful house and everything that I ever wanted.” She took a breath, leaning closer to Carmilla. “What I am saying is, are you sure you want this? To live in that same dull apartment of yours, filled with books and not ever be able to own a house? Or be a waitress for the rest of your life because you never got a job in your field, and jump from one job to another rather than having an office, with a view, and people under your command?”

       “Everyone has a different kind of happiness, Aunt Mattie.” Carmilla answered between her teeth.

       She wanted to confront her aunt, to tell her to fuck off and let her be happy. But instead she just looked at the door, her phone, and the old grandfather clock as the seconds tick by. Her mind began to wander that maybe Laura was still busy since she never answered her last text with the address of her mother’s house.

       “She’s a stubborn one. Talking to her is like talking to a sack of bricks,” her mother remarked.

       Carmilla balled the fist that was not in her mother’s eye view, it was now becoming extremely hard for her to conceal her anger from her family, and she was afraid of what could happen next.

       “Clearly, your mother has been trying to guide you throughout your college life, and this is how you repay her? With an uncertain future, and even thinking that leather pants are appropriate for a graduation? I’m sorry to say, Kitten, but you look like—”

       “—A prostitute?”

       “Carmilla!” Her mother exclaimed.

       “You all think it behind my back, might as well say it out loud.”

       “Oh no! Not that.” Her aunt said, trying to alleviate the situation. “You are _so_ dramatic, Carmilla. You should have worn a suit, or even a skirt. But certainly not leather pants.”

       “Well, I enjoy them. And it was my choice to wear them. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She stood up and began to walk towards the kitchen.

       “Where are you going, Carmilla?” Her mother asked.

       “Getting a glass of water, mother.” She replied, still walking away. _And hopefully somewhere very fucking far away_.

       “Oh, Kitten, dear. Can you bring me a glass?” Her aunt said raising her voice.

       Carmilla continued walking out of the room and pretended like she didn’t hear her. But before she could bring the cup down from the cupboard, the doorbell rang. It was probably another one of her relatives her mother invited to the house or some of William’s friends picking him up for a Zeta event. She took her cellphone from the counter and placed it in the back pocket of her leather pants.

       She was about to reach the door when her path was cut by her mother, who glared at her before turning the handle. A blinding light blurred her vision for a couple of seconds, but as soon as her eyesight fully recovered, Carmilla recognized the person on the other side of the threshold.

       There she was, wearing an innocent smile that fell a little bit at the realization of who opened the door for her.

       “Yes?” Her mother was not one to be easily amused.

       “Um, hi, actually.” She looked down, and ran her hand through her hair sheepishly, as if buying herself some time. “I was wondering if Carmilla was here? I was supposed to pick her up earlier but got a little bit lost with the directions.”

       “Can you explain to me who this is?” Her mother turned her face towards Carmilla, not even bothering to close the door so Laura wouldn’t hear.

       “Well, I um…” She was caught by surprise as never expected for her mother to open the door. Her original plan was just to open the door and make a run for it.

       “Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Laura Hollis.” She extended her hand for a handshake, not receiving one in return, “I’m Carmilla’s girlfriend.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last Chapter, in which Carmilla is stuck in traffic.

 

       "Ugh! Was there an 'Imbeciles Behind the Wheel' convention today or what?" Carmilla grumbled as she slowed down, going half the speed limit since there was a lot of traffic on the road. And she was slowing down even more by the minute.

       “Carmilla, why don’t you let me drive?” Laura sheepishly suggested, holding onto the handle above the door with her right hand.

       “I’m fully capable of driving mys—” She suddenly hit the brakes, stopping short of the car in front of her. “Use your goddamn blinkers! Yes, I’m talking to you, black Peugeot,” she gestured aggressively with her hand.

       She was desperately holding on to the steering wheel with both hands. If she was mad after leaving her house, she was now pissed by the reckless drivers that were getting in the way and slowing down the route to her apartment.

       “Carm, relax. We’ll get there soon.”

       “But not soon enough.” An old silver Mercedes was changing lanes at the speed of a hungry snail.

       “Okay.” Laura said, throwing up her hands in defeat and they fell silent for a couple of seconds while they lurched forward a couple of meters.

       “Come on, Mercedes! Even my grandma drives faster than you and she is dead!” Another car honked and she was sure it was directed at her. “Oh, really? Are you honking at _me_? Are you _honking_ at _me_?! Well that’s just!” She honked back. “I will throw a fucking blue shell at you, dammit. Cupcake, I swear this is worse than driving through Rainbow Road.”

       Laura started laughing at this point and it only made Carmilla get even angrier.

       “Go ahead and laugh it up, cupcake.” She frowned as she turned her eyes back on the road, where they travelled approximately a quarter mile before stopping again.

       “I’m not laughing at you, Carmilla.” She said as she pressed her lips, but they still curled up as they came once again to a complete stop.

       “Are you _fucking_ kidding me? Arghhh.” She pressed and gripped her fingers so tightly on the steering wheel that her knuckles turned white. Apparently an idiot thought that trying to change two lanes just to barely make it to the exit they were supposed to take was the most brilliant idea ever. “Can you believe what’s happening?” she asked, once more aggressively gesturing to the car that had now exited.

       “Okay, Carmilla give me your hand.” She caught her hand halfway as it was receding and held it in hers, slowly tracing patterns in the palm of her hand, occasionally traveling to her upper arm.

       The rhythmic motions made Carmilla feel more relaxed, but there were several times that it brought goosebumps to the back of her neck, as she hit either a ticklish or soft spot. She felt her muscles slowly relax, starting from her arm and spread throughout her body.

       “Does this bother you?” Laura asked softly, not trying to elevate the tension in the car.

       “No.” Carmilla mumbled as she felt the shivers run down her spine and relaxed her entire body while they continued to be stuck in traffic.

       “My…” Laura started. “My mom would sometimes do this to me and my dad when we were stressed. It always helped us relax a bit.”

       “It’s nice.” Carmilla answered, turning her face to look at the girl next to her with her foot planted firmly on the brakes.

       “Yeah.” She answered with a small voice, focusing on looking at Carmilla’s hands.

       Carmilla wanted to ask her why she never spoke about her, but thought that it was probably too personal, and that maybe this wasn’t the best moment to make Laura get sentimental.

       Both of them had been through a roller coaster of emotions today, that maybe it was something that she should save for later, or wait until Laura told her herself in due time.

       As they were still stuck in traffic, the sudden realization that they had never confided in extreme personal matters bothered Carmilla, since they were supposed to be friends. Best friends? Whatever. Laura never spoke about her mother, or her stupid ex-boyfriend. As she thought of this, it dawned on Carmilla that she was in the same boat since she never spoke about her family, about why she asked her to rescue her from her mother’s house, or even about her rather awful relationship with her brother.

       Her train of thought was interrupted as she turned her eyes back to the road and suddenly there was a car halfway changing lanes but wasn’t able to because of how traffic stopped again, bringing back her anger.

       “Goddammit! I turn for one second and you do this to me?! Not cool, red Beetle. Not cool.”

       They didn’t speak to each other for a couple of minutes, with only the music as their only company as both girls seemed to be lost in their thoughts. As the commercial segment began, Carmilla slowly released her hand from Laura’s delicate touch and began to change radio stations, listening to a second or two of each radio station before changing it again.

       Commercials, stupid song, commercials, annoying song, boring song, commercials, more commercials, decent song, commercials—.

       “—Stop.”

       But before she could register what Laura said, she had already skipped the song and went to the next station. Laura pressed the button to go back and Carmilla recognized the song after a couple of chords. She hadn’t heard that song in ages and remembered she first listened to it when she was in middle school, or maybe even in fifth grade.

[ _“—Always be messing with me (You wanna see the light)_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRGrNDV2mKc)  
_Can't they chill and let me be free (So do I)_  
_Can't I take away all this pain (You wanna see the light)_  
_I try to every night, all in vain, in vain_

 _“Sometimes I cannot take this place_  
_Sometimes it's my life I can't taste_  
_Sometimes I cannot feel my face_  
_You'll never see me fall from grace.”_

       She noticed Laura started singing without missing a single word. And they came to a complete stop, yet again. _Ugh I’m going to die here before we get back at my apartment._ Laura started singing enthusiastically, like she was giving a concert and the rest of the traffic was her audience. _Holy shit is she really singing?_ Carmilla thought. The smaller girl cranked the music high and started bobbing her head back and forth.

       “Come on, Carmilla! Sing with me! I know you know this song.” she poked Carmilla’s arm with her fingers, trying to get her to show any other emotion besides anger, but Carmilla shoo’d her away with her hand.

       Her main wish was for everyone to evaporate and get off the highway of hell.

       “No.”

       As soon as the chorus started blaring, she started to moved her lips mumbled the lyrics, so Laura wouldn’t be able to see her.

_“Feeling like a freak on a leash (You wanna see the light)_  
_Feeling like I have no release (So do I)_  
_How many times have I felt diseased (You wanna see the light)_  
_Nothing in my life is free, is free.”_

       Laura used her hand and imitated like she was holding a microphone, switching from her to Carmilla, who rolled her eyes and pretended like Laura was not doing anything.

       “Come on, Carm.”

       She was about to open her lips to start singing, but shut them as she noticed the same red Beetle in front of her give space to another car to change lanes. She honked at the crimson car, when she noticed a mini SUV tried to beat the car already changing lanes, almost causing an accident right in front of them.

       “Goddammit red Beetle! Why are you so stupid? I swear I’m gonna take your license and shove it in your ass if you keep it up.”

       Any other day, music would have calmed her mood, but the angst in the music was fueling her anger even more.

       Laura was almost screaming the lyrics, unaware of drivers staring at her as they slowly drove by. She was too into the song and Carmilla was entertained enough to not care what other people thought of them.

       “Are you aware that people are staring at you?”

       “Since when do you care what other people think, Miss grumpy leather pants?” Carmilla half smirked, but kept her eyes on the road in case of accidents just waiting to happen.

       But with every good song, it had to come to an end and Laura aww’d when the last chords of the song were played. Carmilla was about to change the radio station when they started playing another song and her copilot began to sing again. She sang along to Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, and even Marilyn Manson, until Carmilla finally exited from the highway and hastily drove to her apartment building.

       She turned the engine off, and suddenly everything became silent.

       “Didn’t pegged you as an angry 90’s rock fan, cutie”

       “It’s just music, Carmilla. No need to make a big deal out of it.” She shot her a sly smile before reaching for the passenger’s door handle.

       As they descended Laura’s car, the sun was already setting and the cold wind slapped them in the face, but they both protested at the stiffness of their bodies, twisting and cracking their bones before starting to walk to the front door of her apartment building. The sudden change of temperature made Carmilla start shivering, especially since she wasn’t wearing a jacket and her gown was abandoned at her mother’s house. She fumbled from the cold, causing her to drop the keys when she tried to place them in the keyhole.

       “Do you want me to do it?”

       “No. I’ll do it.” She grumbled as she reached for them and tried once again, without any success.

       She attempted three more times before giving up while Laura was able to open the door on the first try after snatching the keys from her hand. Despite the endless flight of stairs they travelled, Carmilla was still shivering as they walked through the hall and stopped at her doorstep.

       “Carmilla?”

       “Yes, cutie?” She answered as she started fumbling through her keys to open her door.

       “Can I tell you something?”

       “Mhmm.” She flatly replied, turning the doorknob.

       “Dibs on the bathroom.” Laura said as she playfull nudged Carmilla out of the way and made a run towards the bathroom, not even taking off the layers of clothing she was wearing.

       Closing the door behind her, she walked to her couch and slumped in it. There was no jacket or sweater for her to take off since she didn’t even bothered to wear one when she first left her apartment so many hours ago.

       “Do you want to watch a movie?” Laura called out from behind the bathroom door.

        _But it’s too far_ , she whined in her mind. She lazily stood up and walked towards her room where she grabbed her laptop, the charger, a movie, and a blanket before walking back to her living room. She turned her computer on when Laura reappeared, smiling and being her chirpy self before jumping to Carmilla’s couch and crouched her legs.

       “Are we going to watch another one of your old movies?”

       “Yep.” The weight of the day was dawning on Carmilla, leaving her mentally exhausted and answering in single syllable seemed like the best option to help alleviate that.

       “Okay. Just making sure.” She smiled, grabbing the blanket and began to unfold it and layered it on over them.

       She invited Carmilla to sit closer to her, patting the empty space with her hand. Laura enthusiastically unfurled the blanket while Carmilla found a spot she was semi-comfortable with and allowed Laura to shuffle about before fluffing the blanket in the air and draping it over both of their legs. Laura went a little bit further and tucked the blanket around herself before lifting Carmilla’s arm so she could situate herself in the crook of Carmilla’s shoulder. She brought her legs up, lifting it up the couch so the blanket was wedged between her feet and the couch, creating a mini cocoon around her lower body. Carmilla tried draping her arm along the smaller girl’s body and soon found that position to be slightly uncomfortable, leaving her shoulder a bit stiff. But chose to sacrifice her own comfortability for the Laura’s, seeing how content she was at their positioning.

       The opening scene was a continuous shot without any dialogue. Jazz music played in the background as the camera moved from what appeared to be inside of an apartment and moved around to show the different people living in the neighbor buildings. There was a closeup of the main character, a drop of sweat running down his forehead as the thermometer read 94 degrees, continued by showing the different neighbors living around him. Amongst several of them was a ballet dancer, a pianist, a newly wedded couple, a man with an ill wife, and another couple who slept in the balcony who had a dog that travelled up and down through a basket and a pulley system. Coming back to the main character, who was still asleep, his leg was trapped in a cast with the words “Here lie the broken bones of L. B. Jefferies,” in capital letters. Finally ending with a broken camera and a photograph of a race car collision captured in midair.  

       “Poor camera,” Laura whispered aloud, but Carmilla was lost in her own thoughts.

       Carmilla’s mind endlessly repeated the course of events about how everything happened so quickly back in her mother’s house as she stared blankly at her computer with Laura next to her. Maybe another day she might have been comfortable with having her so close to her, but there was something bothering her in the back of her mind.

       She remembered how a moment after Laura said that she was her girlfriend, Carmilla was practically stunned just like her mother. Obviously taking advantage of the situation, Laura quickly took her hand, locked their fingers together and practically dragged her towards the car. She remembered feeling her breath agitated and her hands shaking, a combination of both excitement and anger.

       As they reached the car, Carmilla opened the passenger’s seat for Laura to climb inside and placed her hand on the door to shut it. She was stopped by Laura who placed her hands on Carmilla’s cheeks and leaned close to her lips, making it look from a distance that they had indeed kissed. Having Laura so close to her, Carmilla recalled how she had to fight the urge from locking their lips together, but it was short lived as Laura asked if she knew how to drive stick shift. _Yes_ , she answered. _Then drive_ , she replied and released her hands from her face. She absentmindedly shut the passenger’s door and headed towards the driver’s seat through muscle memory, not fully grasping the plan Laura had set in motion. They managed to make a quick and clean getaway before her mother could even register what had happened, driving as fast as they possibly could till her mother’s frozen figure was nothing but a speck in the rearview mirror.

       As the memory looped in her mind, there was something that she felt wasn’t right. She tried to understand the reason as to why Laura did what she did, why she said she was her girlfriend to her mother. Yes, she asked for her help, but she never expected for the small girl sitting next to her to go to an extreme in saying that they were a thing and she wanted to know why.

       Maybe it was her brain overthinking the situation or it was her heart that was trying to convince itself that Laura wasn’t as straight as she thought she was. There were times that she wished she was bisexual or even demisexual, but she never thought of asking her. It was a topic she always hated being asked about, as if her sexuality was something necessary to explain to everyone. So it was understandable that Carmilla couldn’t outright ask her; she wasn’t entitled to that information to begin with. Laura was never the one to tell her things, like where was her mom for her graduation? Or how come everyone else seems to know more about her life than she did? Even though Carmilla respected her privacy enough to not ask, it stung a little that they didn’t communicate on that level of intimacy considering the amount of time they spent together.

       “Laura?” Carmilla asked, unaware that Laura was drawing circles with her thumb around her knuckles. Her arm was stiff and slightly numb at this point, but the numbness helped with the uncomfortable sensation.

       “Yes, Carmilla?” She replied, her eyes still focused on the screen.

       She had to do this while the were in her apartment without any interruptions from either her brother or the ginger twins.

       “Why did you do it?” Carmilla asked, her voice unfortunately coming out smaller than what she originally intended. She retracted her arm and shifted her body to face Laura, looking at her directly in the eye.

       “Why what?”

       “Why did you said that you were my girlfriend?” She held her gaze as she said that.

       “What?” Laural frowned and then locked her eyes with her.

       She repeated her question.

       “Um…” She was hesitant with her words. “Why do you suddenly ask?”

       “Because it wasn’t like you to pull a stunt like that. It was a bit out of character from what I know.”

       Laura became silent, as both girls locked their eyes on each other. It was a slow nagging feeling that she hadn’t felt before with Laura. For once, the quietness between them was making her uncomfortable, nervous even. She wanted to read Laura’s thoughts, but they seemed to be completely neutral. She gave Carmilla a crooked smile and it threw Carmilla off since it wasn’t the facial expression she was looking for.

       “Well, first of all,” Laura said. “I am perfectly capable of pulling a stunt like that. Just because you’ve never seen me do it before, doesn’t mean that I can’t.” She playfully nudged Carmilla, trying to alleviate the tense situation. “We’re still sorta getting to know each other, right?”

       “None of that answered my question, Laura.” Carmilla mentioned, trying not to sound too pushy with the girl in front of her. Although it was true, they were still getting to know each other, this wasn’t an instance where Carmilla would admit that the other girl was right.

       Laura broke the eye contact, and was apparently fascinated by everything around her except the dark haired girl sitting next to her. She looked at the laptop, the bookcase, and she even ran her fingers through the sofa’s armrest, as if any of those things would help her find her words. _Goddammit, Laura say something_ , Carmilla thought, but even in her frustration she gave Laura time to explain herself.

       “I guess… I guess I just freaked out. Maybe because I was so sure that you were the one that was going to open the door, but once I saw your mother, my…” She looked at Carmilla’s hand and even moved her hand a little bit closer, their fingers almost touching. “My mind went completely blank. I can’t even tell you of every single thing that crossed my head,” she finally fixed her eyes on Carmilla, “but I remember that I started thinking of a million excuses and I saw you look so angry and upset that I knew it had to be a _really_ good excuse to get you out of there. So I thought of the friend card, which would probably get me a door to the face. The best friend card, which also might get me a door to the face. But the one that struck me as the best possibility was the girlfriend one.”

       “But why the girlfriend card? Wasn’t it enough to just grab me from the house like you did and leave?”

       “I don’t know.” She looked down and took a deep breath almost the same time Carmilla took one herself. _Breathe. Let her explain herself,_ Carmilla thought. “I guess I thought that maybe if I decided to play it out as your girlfriend it was more valid, at least for me, to come to your mother’s house to pick you up. But now that I think about it, I guess it was a bit too much. I mean, I guess I overplayed it with the whole holding hands and stuff.” There was a moment of silence between them. “Why? Was that not okay?”

       “Yeah, sure.” _Of course it’s not okay. What the hell were you thinking?_ “It’s nothing. I just wanted to… know your reasons.” Carmilla tried to sound as composed as best as she could while her heart continued to sink further and further down.

       “Mmmmm. Okay.” Her response was drawn out with a hint of disbelief that bothered the back of Carmilla’s mind.

       “Whatever.” Carmilla replied, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms and continued to stare blankly at the screen in front of her. “Forget I brought this up.”

       She was not satisfied. There was something that Laura wasn’t fully explaining and it was killing her from inside.

       “Carm, I know something’s wrong.” Now she was the one that turned to face her, but Carmilla tried to ignore the burning sensation of having Laura’s eyes fixed at her.

       “I don’t know what you mean.” She answered, not even bothering to look at her.

       “You know you can tell me, right? We’re best friend.”

       “Yes, I know, that, cupcake.” She sighed, and turned her eyes to look at her, but her tone came out harsh. “You have told me like a million times. Now can we please just continue watching the stupid movie?” She pressed play and slumped back in the sofa. “Sorry I even asked.”

       Laura appeared to be watching the movie, but Carmilla wasn’t even paying attention to it. Lost in her own thoughts, Carmilla shifted again and again in the couch, unable to find a comfortable position despite her best efforts to distract herself. Laura reached out and began to trace patterns on her knuckles again, no doubt trying to calm her down. She would rather be here alone with Laura in her apartment than at her mother’s any day, but instead of soothing her, the touching was creating the exact opposite reaction.

       “Can you not with that today, cutie?”

       “Sorry.” Laura answered and retracted her hand.

       After she said it, Carmilla felt a pang of guilt, but she knew that it was useless for Laura to try and calm her. She knew that she always got into moods like this whenever she went to visit her mother. Or maybe it was her aunt that was the cause of all this trouble with her idiotic commentaries. Maybe everything got even more complicated with her family after what Laura did when she came to pick her up, she wasn’t entirely sure.

       Unable to pull those thoughts away, Carmilla once again shifted herself, hunching her back and rested her arms on her legs. She closed her eyes, but the memory still haunted her over and over again, making it impossible for her to be at peace and enjoy the rest of her day.

       “Do you want to talk about it?” Laura tried once more to start up the conversation.

       “No.” She pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose.

       “Are you sure?”

       “There is nothing to talk about, cupcake.” She shuffled a little further away. _Goddammit, can’t she take a hint? Seriously._

       “You know it’s not good to bottle things up.”

       “Stop acting like my mother, Laura.” Her tone came out harsher than she intended, and now she was feeling shittier because Laura was only trying to help her, but every attempt she made was pushing more and more of her buttons.

       “Something’s bothering you and I want to know what it is. Let me help you, Carm.” She moved herself closer to Carmilla, subconsciously noticing the larger gap between them.

       “Let’s finish watching the movie. In silence. I’ll be fine.” She said, trying with all her might to not lose her nerve in front of Laura.

       “What’s wrong with you?” She asked but Carmilla didn’t respond, feeling how the last strand of sanity was slipping from her fingers. “Carmilla, talk to me.”

       “You want to talk?” She suddenly raised her voice.

       “Yes, let’s talk.”  

       “Fine.” Carmilla slapped her hands in her thighs. “I’m thinking about all the shit I’m gonna get from my mom once this day’s over. Don’t get me wrong, creampuff, I enjoyed your little stunt earlier and I’m thankful that you rescued me, but I’m gonna be the one who’s going to have to suffer later.”

       “No, Carm. It’s gonna be okay. I’m sure your mom will understand once she cools off and you guys can talk about it when your aunt and brother’s not there. It’ll be fine, really.”

       “You don’t know my mom. She’s not like your mom or your family. Speaking of, I don’t even know what she’s like.” She let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose once more, looking down and avoiding eye contact altogether. After another drawn out breath, she finally looked up and furrowed her brows. “It bothers me that you never talk about her or anything personal. And you expect me to spill my guts for you. I’m sorry but this is a one-sided friendship that I wasn’t planning on having.”

       Today’s mix of emotions really took a toll on her mental capacity to handle stressful situations, and unfortunately the dam that was holding back all her negative emotions had begun to break down.

       “What?” Laura moved back to her original position, obviously blindsided by Carmilla’s response.

       Carmilla took a deep breath and tried to compose herself to no avail, being interrupted by Laura as she was trying to slow down her thought.

       “I thought we were friends, Carmilla. Like legitimately friends, not this one-sided crap you’re rambling about.”

       “Looks like it’s obvious which side of the ‘one-sided crap’ you’re on, right, creampuff?” she snapped, not thinking her response through before speaking.

       “Stop it, Carmilla! You really need to calm down. You’re starting to come off as an insensitive asshole right now.”

       “And you really need to leave people alone when they say nothing’s wrong.”

       “I’m just trying to help! It’s obvious that something is bothering you and I thought it would be nice to help you with… all of this!” she lashed back, gesturing to Carmilla.

       “And I said I didn’t want to talk about it!” Her voice came out as a snarl that was much louder than usual.

       Laura took a breath, seemingly calming herself down and lowered her voice, trying to make it sound as a soothing as possible.“If this is because of your mother, then maybe I can go and—”

       “Talk to her? Do you have _any_ idea how that would turn out?” she replied, wasting no time in trying to make the situation any less tense.

       “Okay, I’m sorry! It was just a suggestion.”

       “A suggestion that will end up me getting into more trouble because of your immature and unrealistic expectations of reality. You have no idea of who you’re talking to here. She is a Karnstein, Laura. They don’t reason. They only do whatever the hell they feel like doing without looking to who they stomp over like they are ants.”

       “Look, I said I’m sorry. I know about your situation as much as you know about mine, okay? Now can we drop this already? We won’t talk about it then if it makes you that much happier.” She sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat.

       “Awww, sweetheart.” Carmilla leaned forward, sporting a sinister smirk despite being so riled up. “But I thought you wanted to have a talk?” she practically cooed, knowingly egging Laura on.

       “You know what? I don’t need to be putting up with this anymore. I wanted to have a good time with you, but if you’re going to be acting like this then I’m gonna go somewhere else.” She walked towards the door, her belongings in her hand.

       “Let me guess… you’re running to the Dimwit Squad? Or perhaps even mommy and daddy dearest?”

       “Don’t you ever talk about my mother.” Her raised voice cracked in the end.

       “Come on, cupcake. Don’t pretend like you have the best relationship with your mom. I’ve been to your apartment many times, and there isn’t a _single_ photograph of her, so don’t go lecturing me about how my mom is _so_ forgiving and shit. She didn’t even see you graduate!” She was a little satisfied with herself, acting out the anger and bitterness she was never able to whenever she argued with her mother. They remained silent as tears began to gather in the tiny girl’s eyes. “Don’t be the kettle that calls the pot black, it’s not a good look on you.” Carmilla leaned back, content at believing she got the last word.

       Laura reached for the doorknob, tears rolling down her cheeks. She slightly opened it and stopped at the door frame.

       “If you really wanted to know Carmilla, you could’ve just asked instead of having this whole scene play out the way it did.” She turned once again to look at Carmilla who only stared at her with raised eyebrows, not saying anything. “And for your information, my mom passed away, so no, I don’t have any pictures of her as you so nicely pointed out.” She walked and slammed the door behind her.

       The sudden lack of noise brought Carmilla back to reality. She looked at the door, wishing for Laura to come back again so she could ask for her forgiveness, but it remained shut. Carmilla heard her footsteps travel down the hallway; her shiny moment of proudness crumbled as each step faded in the distance. A second later, she rushed to the door and opened it but Laura had vanished. She took a shaky breath, feeling her heart thumping against her chest and the stinging in her eyes. _Fuck_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla makes a quick stop before heading to work.

 

       She knew she had fucked up. Big time. But it had been a week since she last saw Laura and it was driving her crazy knowing that her friendship with her had ended because of a fight. Yes, the she knew she acted like a bitch all the while Laura was attempting to help her. Despite having an argument, she never expected for Laura to ignore her texts and not return her calls after a week, making her feel even more horrible than she already did. Other than texting her, Carmilla even called Laura and courageously left one or two voicemails. Well. Maybe more like five or six, but the point was that she never calls anybody, so she was _really_ making an effort. Laura must know that, right?

       Maybe she was broodier than usual since she didn’t have distractions like class or assigned readings anymore and her job was the only thing that took her mind off things, if that was even possible.

       She glanced again at her phone, hoping that the small green LED light was blinking, signalling that she had a new message. But no. The only time it blinked was to receive a call that ended up in her being scolded by the ginger twins for screwing up things with Laura. After a lengthy one sided talk, the conversation ended with her making a promise that Carmilla would set things right the first opportunity she had. If she was being honest with herself, she was expecting the cavalry to kick down her door the next morning, but luckily they were both busy preparing for the end of the year exams and activities at their respective schools.

       Carmilla was too lost in her thoughts to realize that her stomach had been grumbling for a while now. Her intestines were making weird noises that sounded like an anglerfish crying for help as if it were stuck halfway in a hole trying to get out. She picked up her phone, pressed a button for the screen to come back to life, and checked the time. 9:46 am. Placing it down next to her pillow, Carmilla decided that she should get something to eat before her shift started at noon. Once she stood up, her vision blurred and everything shifted around her. _Yep, let’s eat before I pass out_ , she thought and beelined to her bathroom to take a quick shower, deciding to go to Rob & Pierre’s for some pancakes she had been craving.

       The climate had turned even colder and the days seem grayer than usual. Carmilla equipped herself appropriately before stepping a foot outside her door, wrapping herself in a dark gray sweater, a slightly thick black jacket, a scarf, and tied her still damp hair in a messy bun before heading out. She always enjoyed this type of weather, but ever since Laura walked out of her apartment, it heightened her depressive state rather than soothe her. She walked for several blocks in the direction of the cafe, but she felt the nervousness crawling and clutching deeper under her skin the closer she got. Her steps became heavier, an invisible weight filled with dread and anticipation creeped and clawed their way over her shoulders as she approached the shop introduced to her by Laura.

       What would she do if the smaller girl was there? Her mind began to build several scenarios, both outlandish and plausible.

       There were the ones where she quickly got distracted from a crosswalk or horns honking, imagining how she would open the door, Laura looking to where she was, and quickly climbing down from her stool, wrapping her arms tightly around Carmilla, telling her how sorry she was for giving her the cold shoulder.  

       Or even better, she pictured another one in which she would be eating her stack of pancakes when the door opened and Laura walked in. As soon as she saw her, both girls would sit down next to each other and explain everything before heading out towards Carmilla’s job. As they walked closer, Laura would become rather quiet as they approached the main door, before holding Carmilla’s hand and confessing that she had been wrong about her the whole time and the time they spent apart from each other made her realize something. That she had been wrong to suppress the feelings she had endlessly denied herself ever since they met each other and she could no longer hide them. Both girls remained silent before Laura would hold her hand and shift her gaze from her eyes to her lips, telling her that she had feelings for her. Carmilla would do the same, but wouldn’t move an inch until Laura leaned closer, planting a tender and warm kiss on her lips and Carmilla would feel how the earth stood unmoving around them.

        _You are a sap_ , Carmilla thought to herself.

       Another scenario was for Laura to be sitting alone and eating pancakes while sipping her hot cocoa as Carmilla approached her. She pictured talking to her, explaining everything before asking for forgiveness, to which Laura would tell her that of course she would, giving her a smile that always warmed her heart and pretend like nothing ever happened.

       The next scene had her sitting, absentmindedly eating and sipping her coffee while browsing her phone. The door would fling open, gathering the attention of everyone in the room and in walks Laura, the cold breeze accompanying her as she dramatically makes her way to where Carmilla sat. Just before Carmilla could even get a smile or word in, she slaps Carmilla on the cheek, spilling the coffee all over the front of her sweater, the mug slipping from her hand and shattering into a million pieces on the floor. An audible gasp could be heard from the other patrons as everyone drops what they were doing to watch the scene unfold. Xena would jump over the counter in one swift motion and restrain Laura, telling her to calm down while Carmilla sat caressing her cheek. Laura would be in a fit of rage, cursing like Carmilla has never heard her curse before while nearly overpowering Danny. Chairs and tables would be pushed out of the way as the other patrons had to rush and join in to restrain her, but she managed to untangle from their grip and walked out of the door, her fiery eyes branding themselves in Carmilla’s mind before disappearing forever.

       But as she crossed the street, she thought of Laura not even looking at her, ignoring her despite her efforts in trying to set things right between them, treating her in the same harsh way she was treated by the raven haired girl. Telling Carmilla that she didn’t wanted her to bother her with petty text messages and phone calls, bringing their friendship to an end. _No, don’t even think about it, Carmilla. Think positive for once. It’ll be fine_.

       She opened the door and there was Broadzilla at the espresso machine, a couple sitting in front of where she was, talking to each other, and a guy sitting on the long booth on the wall with his ears covered by a pair of gigantic red headphones as he was frantically typing something on his laptop. But no Laura.

       “Hey… Carmilla,” Danny somewhat greeted her, quickly taking her eyes off of what she was doing and started pouring the frothed milk on a mug.

       “Danny.” It almost slipped to call her Xena, but she bit her tongue after the idea that maybe she could give her some information regarding Laura.

       “What brings you here?” She asked, her tone somewhat flat.

       “Um… I came to have some breakfast.”

       “Do you need a menu?” Xena asked as she was cleaning the espresso machine.

       “Sure.” She sat down on the exact same spot she had sat when she first came with Laura for pancakes.

       Danny walked to hand out the coffee she had just finished preparing to a customer seating in the other room and slipped Carmilla a menu on her way back before starting to work again in the machine again, the wheezing of the milk frother muting the background music. She stared blankly at the menu in front of her, already knowing what she was going to order, when a cup of coffee slid in her direction. She looked up and there was Danny, right in front of her, giving her a small smile.

       “Thanks.” She mumbled.

       “No problem.” She sat on the opposite side of the bar and sipped some coffee. “Let me know when you’re ready to order, okay?”

       She was being nicer than what Carmilla expected. Weird.

       “Can I have some pancakes? With bacon, no eggs.”

       Danny stood up and began to punch Carmilla’s order on the screen and picked up the walkie-talkie, asking if they got the order. _Bleep_. Roger that.

       “Hey, where’s Laura? I haven’t seen her since the graduation.”

       Carmilla didn’t reply. It stung her that even Danny was aware of how much time they spend together to suddenly not be glued at the hips.

       “She’s fine,” she replied, taking a sip from her coffee so the tall redhead wouldn’t know that she was lying.

       “She stopped by a couple of days ago. I think she said something about her dad’s place. Did she mention to you anything about that?”

       “No, actually. She didn’t tell me anything.” She took another sip from her coffee.

       The jolly ginger giant fixed her eyes on the guy with the computer, stood up, and walked towards him, reappearing and refilled his mug with more tea. Carmilla checked on her phone, hoping that maybe after her walk and the small talk she had with the tall ginger Laura texted her back, but nothing. She frustratedly threw her phone on the counter and ran her hand through her hair. As she did this, Danny leaned in closer to her.

       “Carmilla. What did you do?”

       “N… Nothing.” She took another sip from her coffee. “Why is it that people assume I’m the one blame?”

       “Then why do I get the feeling that you and Laura aren’t talking to each other?”

        _Shit. She knows something._

       “Look.” She lowered her voice so the couple sitting on the opposite side of the bar wouldn’t be able to listen very well. “I know that this is none of my business, but you guys were always together and then all of a sudden you guys split up. Is everything okay?”

       “No.”

       “What happened?”

       “Why do you care?”

       She took a moment to answer, and Carmilla was about to say something snarky when Danny cut her off.

       “I… I care about you both.”

       “What?” _She still has feelings for me?_ “You’ve got to be kid—”

       “No, not like that! Ugh, as if!” She answered. “Jesus, you are impossible, sometimes.”

       Carmilla shrugged her shoulders and gave her a lopsided smirk.

       “Carmilla—”

        _Bleep_. Gibberish. Danny took the walkie-talkie and placed it near her mouth. _Bleep_.

       “I’m on my way.” She responded. She turned to the broody girl and said. “Hold that thought.”

       She walked away and about a minute later she reappeared with a plate and placed it in front of Carmilla. Her mouth watered at the sight of the delicious pancakes and quickly took a bite from the bacon, feeling the juicy flavor overpower her taste buds. She chewed it and felt how it travelled down her throat and even felt how it hit her stomach.

       “Listen.” Xena began again, but was interrupted by the couple who asked for her attention to cash them out. They paid their bill and left her a tip in the jar before walking towards the door, Danny bidding them a nice day. Carmilla was already cutting another bite from her pancakes with her fork before taking the mug and gave it another sip, finishing her drink. As soon as the door closed, Danny took her mug and refilled it, bringing it once again in front of Carmilla. She was looking rather serious as she stepped a little bit closer and leaned down so they could be at the same level from the opposite side of the counter.

       “Still listening.” Carmilla said after swallowing a huge chunk of pancakes and began to cut another portion off her stack.

       “Okay, here’s the thing. Don’t you think that it’s time we leave everything that happened in the past and move on?”

       Carmilla placed another forkful in her mouth and began to chew.

       “I mean, you and I know that I had my reasons. But that’s not the point. What I mean is that, can’t we just try and be friends? What we had and what happened between us is gone and we’re adults here for Christ sake. We should be able to look past our differences.” There was a moment of silence between them while the rest of the cafe continued to buzz with the murmurs of patrons. “I obviously don’t have any more feelings for you and I am _most_ certain that you don’t even think of me that way. And I know that something’s happened between you and Laura because you’re here alone, and if you’re trying to hide how sad you are, you’re not very good at it.” Carmilla looked away as she felt the slightest sting behind her eyes. Of course Xena would know, she was always very good at reading people.

       “Whatever.” Carmilla answered and silence fell between them once more. Without realizing it she looked once again at her phone, first to see if anything had changed from the last time she did and to see how much time she had left before having to leave.

       “Remember when we first met? How you, me, Perry and LaFontaine would hang out together after class?” Danny said, obviously changing the subject. Carmilla remembered. They would go to a cafe or to the Lustig and grab a couple of beers and relax after their long day. “I kinda miss doing that with you guys. I want to be able to hang out like that again.”

       “Why don’t you, then? Are you getting tired of your Summer sisters?”

       “No, of course not. It’s just that I miss you guys and that even includes you and your stupid snarky comments. Or even hanging out and _not_ talking to LaFontaine. But I couldn’t because you’re almost always with them and I respected that since you’ve known them longer than I have. And yes, I know Perry and LaFontaine don’t go out that much but the times they would, you were always there with them and obviously I couldn’t go after we broke up.”

       Carmilla remembered it was true; she would always hang out whenever they invited her. And even more so in the past month after she was introduced to Laura. If they insisted, she always tried to play at being difficult but always accepted in the end.

       “So.” The tall ginger asked and Carmilla could feel her eyes staring intently at her. “Peace?”

       She took another bite, taking her time chewing and sipped from her coffee.

       “Like you said. It was a long time ago and… yeah.”

       Danny’s expression brightened slightly as she walked away, content at the truce between the two. The giant beanstalk picked up and washed the plates from the couple that left and cleaned up the area before leaning in front of Carmilla with a mug in her hand.

       “So. What happened with you and Laura that you’re not talking?”

       “So now we’re best friends?” Carmilla asked, raising her eyebrow incredulously.

       “You just accepted this friendship, so make an effort at it. Plus, I can help you get your girl back, so yeah.”

       “She’s not my girl.” She grumbled and took another bite from her pancakes. She was almost done with them by now, picking her phone again and it read 11:18 am. Carmilla sighed. “My mother happened.”

       “Uh-oh.”

       “And then my big mouth happened.”

       “When?”

       Carmilla began to tell her about the course of events, from her family’s endless idiotic commentaries and asking for Laura to come to her rescue, then the fight between them both and how it all ended. She even added of how she had been looking for Laura but has been unsuccessful in finding her. She was unable to stop herself and by the time she finished telling the ginger giant everything, she felt a weight had been lifted from her chest.

       “I mean, I have been texting her and even called her several times—”

       “You called her? Like _literally_ called her?”

       “Yeah.” Danny raised her eyebrows, but brought the mug still in her hand to her lips and drank from it. “I left her a bunch of voicemails but I think she’s really pissed at me since she hasn’t answered anything.”

       “Wow… you must really like her to call her.”

       “Is that what you’ve heard from all I’ve been saying?”

       “No it’s just… you _never_ call anybody unless there’s a personal interest on your behalf.” Danny said. “Anyway, last time she came here she told me that she was going to spend some time with her dad. Maybe she lost her phone, or her battery died and she forgot to bring her charging cord. I don’t know. There are a million things that could’ve happened.”

       “That doesn’t help me feel any better.” She placed her hands on her forehead. “God, what am I gonna do?”

       “Maybe you’ve been focusing too much on trying to find her. It’s pretty much the same thing when you’re looking for something missing, when you least expect it, ends up finding you instead.” She shrugged and went to attend a couple who just entered the cafe, leaving her mug sitting in front of Carmilla.

\---

 

       Carmilla carried another stack of books and through the shelves of “Vorderberg’s Books,” fluctuating between the three levels to help time go by faster. It was a chaotic bookstore-- all the shelves were covered from floor to ceiling with books on every level. There are tables with books, tables to study, couches, chairs, and nooks scattered throughout the store for people to sit and read. The shelves had different trinkets and small decorations in front of the spines, as well as portraits of famous people that had visited, giving it a welcoming, homey vibe even though Carmilla always thought it used to be a bar back in it’s golden age.

       The main floor has a long counter and back wall on its right side, both made out of mahogany that she pictured held all the liquor bottles and glasses. Both pieces were worn out but still held a muted and forgotten beauty in them. Her boss had recently turned the bookstore into a cafe, adding stools under the counter and offering a wide variety of coffees, espressos, and several teas for people to sit and talk or continue their reading with a refreshment. The back wall housed several cold-press coffee pots, a variety of mugs and glasses, old tin cans, coffee grinders, and pots from different parts of the world. The left wall was covered from floor to ceiling with a variety of books, most of them were new releases as well as some best-sellers. Three chandeliers hung in the middle of the room, bringing a candid light to the main floor that served to cover the old fleur-de-lis paneled ceiling as well as the deteriorated mouldings and cornices to the visitors.

       As she placed several books back in their shelves, Carmilla traveled to the back of the room, passing the metallic spiral staircase that probably dated to the Victorian Era that led to the third floor, going further to the far left corner of the bookstore towards the only staircase that led downstairs.

       She headed to the basement, where they offered the history, mystery, science fiction, graphic novels, manga, a small section of comics, and a even smaller section of books in a different language. Although it was the largest room of the three levels, it had the lowest ceiling with 360 degree shelves built around the support columns. They had several old comfy couches and a timeworn writing desk with a single typewriter that no one used despite the small yellowed cardboard sign that read “Use Me.” Carmilla remembered taking her personal thoughts that she wasn’t able to say or have the courage to say and channeled it through the archaic machine, allowing the words to flow freely rather than speaking them out loud.

       The walls were made of old brick and mortar, now lined with books and several lamps that Carmilla flicked on as she walked deeper and deeper in the room to place more books back where they belonged. Before returning to the main floor, she delicately brushed her fingers along the spines as she headed back upstairs, traveling up through the spiral staircase and arrived at the second floor which lead to a small hallway that only offered two doors. The door on the left housed the rest of the books, making it the smallest area of the store, while her boss occupied the end of the hall as his own apartment.

       This floor resembled a maze unlike the other two, reminding Carmilla of the library back at Silas with the standing bookcases that were arranged in a U or L shape, offering an extensive collection of fiction, nonfiction, as well as some children’s books.

       With only a handful of books left in her arms, Carmilla noticed that some of them had to be placed on the upper shelves. Grabbing the running ladder, she effortlessly climbed upwards while holding the stack of books around her chest, pushing herself to slide along the rails of the ladder, stopping and climbing to her desired shelf to reach the section where the rest of the books belonged.

       As she finished placing the remaining books back, the door at the end of the hall slowly opened and Carmilla noticed the peculiar trotting of Argos, her boss’ old gray scottish deerhound. She really liked this dog, not only because of the meaning behind his name, but because he was very docile and good with the customers. Mr. Bauer is a very nice man, and like Argos, he was also tall, slender, with premature white hair and grey eyes that had a contagious energy, making him look younger than his age. He was a very passionate person when it came to books and was an avid reader like Carmilla.

       “Good morning, Carmilla.”

       “It’s afternoon already, Mr. Bauer,” she kindly answered as she kneeled down to pat Argos, who instantly shook his tail, bringing a smile on Carmilla.

       “Anything exciting happened while I was away?” He asked, hands casually locked behind his back. Carmilla remembered that he had gone to Salzburg to visit one of his sons and stayed there for about a month.

       It wasn’t unusual for him to leave for such long periods of time since he had told Carmilla that he trusted her with his own business. None of her previous bosses had ever entrusted her with something so important and she reciprocated by being a responsible employee. She remembered the first time he left on a trip when she first started working, he gave her a piece of advice she more or less tried to apply to her life: Don’t cheat, don’t steal, don’t lie.

       “I um… I graduated, Mr. Bauer,” Carmilla answered as she stood up, still patting Argos in the head.

       “Really? Well, congratulations, kid.” He extended an arm and pulled her in for a tight hug.

       “Thanks,” she answered and felt her cheeks grow warm.

       Her boss was one of the nicest people she ever knew and even one of the fewer that actually remembered her birthday without the help of Facebook Calendar. He once went and bought her a small piece of cake and topped it off with a candle from his apartment when she turned 19 as a surprise. The thing that Carmilla liked the best about him was that he never gave her any special treatment because she was a Karnstein. He treated her first as an employee and after that as a colleague for having earned his trust with her hard work and her integrity.

       They climbed down the spiral staircase with Argos trotting behind them, heading towards the counter, when a couple of Mr. Bauer’s friends began to talk to him.

       Carmilla continued rearranging smaller stack of books, coming and going to the counter to attend customers who needed to pay or because they wanted a cup of coffee. She usually asked people if they needed any help, which most of the time they were only browsing and didn’t really needed anything. Only the newest customers were looking for something in particular and asked her too many questions or were the ones that usually got on her nerves. Even though she didn’t enjoy talking to people for long periods of time, or at all really, she liked to discuss books with them and offer some recommendations, which were usually a lot.

       “Is there an upcoming event or anything that you would like me to take care of, Mr. Bauer?” she asked now that her boss wasn’t occupied with his friends anymore.

       “Actually, yes. There’s going to be several book signings throughout the month. If you’ll please clear one of our tables and set up a spot for the author when that day comes, I’ll be very grateful. I’ll give you the calendar and the rest of the information in a bit. And towards the end of the month, a group of filmmakers asked to shoot an independent film here, so the store will be closed down for a week. If you have any plans on leaving town or friends you’d like to visit, you should do it during that time.” He looked at her and gave her a warm smile. “I forgot to ask you, how is your story coming along? Are you almost done with it?”

       “I think I’ll be able to work more on it now that I don’t have to worry about school.”

       “Well, if you even encounter a slow day, you can always work on it here.”

       “Thank you, Mr. Bauer.”

       “I’m sure it will be beautiful. And when you feel like it’s ready, you’re going to have to show me.” Carmilla nodded. “Well, I gotta go and walk Argos. I’m meeting a couple of artists that want to have an event here. I will come back later in the afternoon.” He began to walk towards the door and stopped. “Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you anything, Carmilla? It seems like you haven’t been eating much.”

       “I’m fine, Mr. Bauer. I have a sandwich I didn’t finish yesterday in the fridge.”

       “Nonsense!” He exclaimed. “I’ll bring you something when I get back. What do you want? Another sandwich? A pizza?” He started walking towards the door, holding it open while waiting for his companion to trot to his side. “Do you know what? Think about it, I will call you when I am done and you tell me what you want. Okay?”

       “No, Mr. Bauer that’s not—”

       “Have a nice day, Carmilla. And call if you need anything.” He turned and disappeared with his dog faithfully walking next to him.

       Carmilla slumped back on a chair behind the counter as she waited for Elsie, who was once again late. There was mellow jazz music playing through the speakers that Carmilla began to crave for a cigarette in her hand, but first had to wait until her already late coworker arrived.

       She took out her phone from her back pocket and swiped it with her finger, taken by surprise as she hadn't expected an unread message waiting for her. An overwhelming sense of hesitation crawled through Carmilla’s body as she had to quickly decide whether to open it or not, making her freeze in her place as her finger lingered in the air, never touching the screen on her phone. A second later, Carmilla took a deep breath and clicked on the envelope icon and the screen went black, before loading up. Her heart leaped for joy and she did her best to hide her excitement as her mind once again began to think of the most outrageous possibilities the message could contain.

       “Excuse me, dear,” an old lady called for her attention.

       She quickly placed her phone away. _Godammit, I’m in the middle of something really important, lady_.

       “Yes, ma’am?” She did her best to hide her frustration.

       “Could you be so kind in making me a latte.”

       “Sure.”

       “No, do you know what? Make that a cappuccino. Thank you.” Carmilla quickly began to work on the order and handed the warm drink to the customer, waiting what seemed like an eternity before she pulled out enough change to pay.

        _Where the hell is Elsie?_ She tapped her foot as the old lady counted cent by cent, losing her count and starting all over again. Bidding the old lady farewell, Carmilla instantly took her phone out again and swiped it to see the new message, eager to know its content.

       Anti-climatically, the text was from Elsie, telling her she was going to be fifteen minutes late. Unable to process what she had just read, Carmilla went back to show the list of messages, hoping that maybe there was another unread text. Her heart sank at the realization there wasn’t, she exasperatedly placed her phone away when her co-worker entered from the door at the end of the bar, looking out of breath.

       “Sorry I’m late. Did you get my text?”

       “I just read it,” she said not even looking at the girl as she cleaned the espresso machine with a damp rag. “Call me next time you’re gonna be late.”

       “Last time I called you, you told me not to.” She quickly took off her brown jacket, replacing it with a dark grey sweater from under the counter, rolling up the sleeves while leaving the scarf around her neck. “I’ll um… I’ll arrange these books real quick.” The blonde girl took an armful of books and arranged them by category and then in alphabetical order. “So, what, no goofy smiles looking at your phone in secret all this week?” Carmilla never mentioned Laura to anyone at work, but it was obvious Elsie noticed her smile despite Carmilla’s endless denial of such whenever she got a message from Laura. “Did you break up with someone, Karnstein?”

       “Go and finish arranging those books,” she said, her words came out more with a frustrated tone behind them.

       “Or did they break up with you?” she asked playfully, finishing her task and scooped all the books in her arms. “Fine, I’ll go. You stay here brooding up the place.”

       It was an unspoken arrangement they both had established that Carmilla was grateful for. Especially on days where she was obviously not in the mood of dealing with people, much like this one. It was a good dynamic these two girls had and even though Elsie sometimes flirted with her, Carmilla never invited her to think that there could be something between them. The blond girl was respectful towards her and instead established an amiable relationship with Carmilla, knowing she was interested in another person.

       Time went by rather slowly despite the fact that more people began to gather at the bookstore. Carmilla busied herself preparing coffee orders and taking care of the register, while Elsie busied herself with helping getting books down for customers or answering the questions Carmilla tried her best to avoid.

       Lost in her thoughts, Carmilla and was probably more distracted than usual. Maybe she was too obvious when it came to Laura that even her co-worker noticed her sudden shift in mood from the past week. Maybe she had indeed fucked things up with Laura and it was making her even more miserable knowing their friendship ended so quickly because it was entirely her fault. True, she had screwed things up with other people before, but this one is probably the one that stung her the most. She began to think that if she originally ditched her family lunch that day and stuck around with Laura and her father, none of this would have happened. Or if she had decided to ask the ginger twins to pick her up instead. Or maybe if she had shut up and opened up when Laura asked her to tell her what was going on inside her head.

       Feeling like she needed a distraction, Carmilla left her post and aimlessly walked through the bookstore, making sure that no one needed anything as she absentmindedly heard the doorbell ring, signalling a new customer had either arrived or left. She ran her fingers through the spines of the books, finding the touch relaxing as she made her way to the front of the store, when it was abruptly interrupted as Elsie informed her that there was someone on the counter wanting a cup of coffee. Carmilla began to walk back to the counter, her fingers still running through a table filled with books, unaware she dropped one on the floor while Elsie subtly placed it back.

       “Sorry to keep you waiting.” She asked, slipping behind the counter without even looking at the person on the other side. “What can I get for—.”

       There she was. Laura. The tiny girl that had been driving her crazy for a whole week was right in front of her.

       “Hi,” Laura said, her voice lacked that distinctive warmth Carmilla was familiar with.

       “Hey,” was all she could manage to say.

       Carmilla wanted to walk to the other side of the counter and hug her, kiss her and tell her how sorry she was. But instead she stood dumbfounded, waiting for the other girl to smile and assure her that everything was good between them. But Laura’s expression remained serious and it made Carmilla’s heart sink, realizing that she was still mad at her.

       “Laura—”

       “—No, Carmilla. Don’t.” There was an excruciating silence between them. Her eyes were casted downwards. “I um… I read your texts and heard your messages.”

       “And?” Carmilla’s throat suddenly dried and the seconds transcurred at an excruciatingly slow pace as Laura’s lips parted to say,

       “We need to talk.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which there is a thunderstorm coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Parental abuse, mental abuse, smoking.

 

 

 

       “What time does your shift end?”

       “I get off in less than an hour,” Carmilla replied, taking the phone from her back pocket and unlocking it to look at the time while doing her best to hide how her entire body was shaking.

       “Find me when your shift is over.”

       She had never seen Laura look so serious. It was kinda scary.

       “Okay.” Carmilla said as Laura began to walk away, stopping and walked back to the counter.

       “Where’s the fiction section?” The caramel haired girl asked, her tone indifferent.

       “Um… upstairs. Take the spiral staircase, first door on the left.”

       Laura gave her what appeared to be a rather dry thank you before walking away, leaving Carmilla frozen in her place. She watched Laura climb up the stairs and disappear, feeling how she had been holding her breath the entire time until Elsie jolted her back to reality.

       “Who was she, your ex?” She turned her eyes towards Carmilla and noticed how affected she looked. “Hey, are you okay?”

       “Yeah, I’m fine. Just um… just give me a minute.”

       She went behind the counter to rummage through her belongings, snatching her pack of cigarettes and a lighter before leaving through the back without saying anything else. Opening the first set of doors, she walked down a long and dimly lit corridor, feeling how the temperature slowly dropped before she reached the second set of doors that led her to the back alley. There was an improvised bench someone created using bricks for legs and what was probably an old door for the top. She slightly dusted it with her hand before she sat, the bench producing a loud creak under her weight that resonated through the rest of the alley before it was drowned by the roar of thunder.

       With a pounding heart and trembling hands, Carmilla took several deep breaths and closed her eyes to calm herself, but the memory of Laura’s emotionless face was etched underneath her eyelids. She took out a cigarette and held it with her lips, flicking the lighter three times before she could actually bring it to life. The broody girl felt the smoke travel inside of her, leaving a burning sensation through her lungs and throat before she exhaled.

       Carmilla examined the exquisitely rolled tobacco between her fingers, feeling as if it was a representation of herself before taking another drag. At first glance it doesn’t look like it can harm you, but in the end they burn and destroy everything with their intoxicating and yet desirable personality.

       As she once again exhaled she thought that, like the dissolving cloud of smoke in front of her, her chances to patch up her friendship with Laura were probably now nonexistent. _You knew what you were doing. You brought this on yourself_. Contrary to her own expectations, it did her nothing to calm herself as she kept consuming the cigarette in her hand, feeling the warmth that it once brought her replaced by the icy droplets that fell on face and hair. To distract herself from spiraling down another pit of self hate over the situation, she observed how the nearby lightning traveled from one cloud to the other, noticing how the clouds illuminated from the inside when,

       “Carmilla?” A voice called her from behind that abruptly shook her back to reality. “What are you doing here?”

       She looked up and it was Mr. Bauer, who quickly took his jacket off and draped it around her shoulders, the hairs in her arms stood as they came in contact with the still warm jacket.

       “I just… It’s nothing, Mr. Bauer.”

       “Everything alright, kid?”

       “I um… yes,” Carmilla replied, quickly standing up. “I’m sorry for leaving like that. I’ll get back to work.” And with that she threw the remnants of her cigarette on the floor, not even bothering to extinguish it.

       She slipped off the jacket and handed it back to him before opening the door, feeling her muscles relax from to the warmth inside the corridor before stepping back into the heat and humidity controlled bookstore. Putting her belongings away, Carmilla noticed Elsie was busy fixing a couple of coffees on the espresso machine. They looked at each other but didn’t say anything and Carmilla was glad about that. She didn’t wanted to talk or fake a smile, especially not today. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and pretend like this was one long nightmare, and she was still friends with Laura and none of this had ever happened.

       She looked once again at her phone and she still had fifteen minutes before her shift ended. She was about to tell Elsie she would take care of the rest of the order, when Mr. Bauer stopped her mid stride.

       “Carmilla, would you please put these books back where they belong before you take off?” Mr. Bauer asked, motioning to the pile by his side.

       The raven haired girl nodded, looking at the small mountain of books gathered at the counter and mechanically started arranging them by category before taking an armful of them and walked to place them back in their respective shelves. She descended to the basement and began to arrange them, looking around for other scattered books left over from careless customers before placing them back in their place. Repeating the same process with the rest of the pile still waiting for her in the main floor, Carmilla went back to the counter and noticed someone had messed the books she had carefully organized not even ten minutes ago. _Are you fucking kidding me? Ugh, if I find whoever did this, I swear I’m going to feed them their spleen._ She slowly rolled her eyes and fisted her hands before continuing to sort them, doing her best in avoiding the third floor as much as possible.

       Before taking the last stack of books and climbing the stairs, Carmilla took a deep breath and gathered her courage as she started placing the books in the bottom shelves. She was aware that Laura was probably reading on a chair or a couch. The thought of seeing those cold and distant eyes scared her, but there was another part of her that was still hopeful that things were going to work out between them. It was inevitable that she was going to bump into Laura the further and further back she went, placing the books back in their shelves inside the room. She turned on a corner when she spotted her, shocking herself although she had tried her best to mentally prepare herself for this encounter. The shorter girl was sitting on a couch with Argos curled up next to her, his face in her lap as she ran her fingers through his shaggy hair while the other hand was holding a book. The second she saw them, Carmilla’s heart stopped at seeing the caramel haired girl smiling, unaware that she was being watched despite Argos wagging his tail as he picked up her scent.

       “He likes you.” Carmilla said with a shy smile.

       Laura shifted from the book to look down at Argos, her hand still caressing the dog’s fur while his tail wagged faster. The gray dog climbed down the sofa and greeted Carmilla, whose arm was still holding a handful of books, nudging her empty hand with his nose for her to pet him.

       “Apparently he likes you too.” Laura turned to Carmilla and gave her a small smile. _Maybe there’s still hope after all_. “Are you almost done?”

       And like that, the dread that had disappeared a second ago returned.

       “I just need to put these back in order and I’m done.” Carmilla reached closer where Laura was seated and patted the couch. Argos obediently climbed up and resumed his original position, stretching his paw on Laura’s leg, signalling her to pet him that made Carmilla smile.

       “Alright.” The light haired girl answered, her eyes already fixed in the pages of her book in hand.

       Carmilla slowly walked away, grabbing the running ladder and moved from one shelf to another with a cat-like ease before she returned to the main floor.

       “All done, Mr. Bauer.” She said. “Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

       “No, you did wonderful today kid, thank you.” He looked around. “Speaking of kids, have you seen that four legged child of mine?”

       “I just saw him curled up with… a customer. I’ll get him for you.”

       She clocked out, grabbed her belongings, and hustled upstairs to the same place she had seen Laura minutes ago. Except she wasn’t there.

       Carmilla wandered around the second floor looking for Laura but she was nowhere to be found. She proceeding to look for her throughout the first floor and eventually the basement without any success before doing another sweep of the entire bookstore. Defeated, she checked her phone to see if there were any messages.

       Nothing.

       She picked her belongings and left through the back door, where the icy rain once again ran down her cheeks as she began to speed-walk to her apartment. Thankfully, the bookstore was a 10 minute walk away from where she lived, so an umbrella wasn’t needed even in a moderate amount of rainfall. After a couple of blocks of getting lost in her thoughts, Carmilla tried to understand why would Laura leave without waiting for her since she was the one that wanted to talk in the first place. The recurring thought that maybe Laura changed her mind kept coming back despite her efforts in trying to be positive.

       It was now pouring and the thunderstorm had picked up as Carmilla was crossing the street, her apartment within sight. As she kept walking, a reckless driver passed next to a puddle and soaked Carmilla to the bone. Her jeans were soaked through and her make-up was probably ruined by now, but what made her shiver was the cold sensation of water running underneath her sweater and travelling down her back.

       “Watch where you’re driving, you fucking Volkswagen!” she yelled at the car while shivering uncontrollably and feeling like she was going to catch hypothermia any minute.

       The sky flashed and the deafening roar of a thunder made the earth rumble as Carmilla noticed there was someone standing by the front door with an umbrella in their hands. Carmilla thought it was probably her neighbor that always managed to lose their keys and had been locked out. Again. Only her neighbor was taller and—.

       “Hey! What the heck, Carmilla. I looked for you and texted you but your coworker told me you… left,” she said, her eyes roaming through her body and her expression changed from annoyance to horror. “Oh my gosh, did you walked in the rain without an umbrella?”

       “Y-y-eah.” Carmilla replied as she took the keys out from her pocket, her teeth hitting each other as her whole both shook almost uncontrollably. “And an idiot th-thought I needed to t-t-take another shower, s-so he was a g-good samaritan and drove n-n-next to a puddle.”

       “Was that you yelling? Here, hand me the keys,” Laura said as she took the keys and quickly began to work on opening the door, swinging it open while closing her umbrella.

       Carmilla’s teeth were still clattering despite her efforts in keeping her jaw locked as they climbed the stairs.

       “You’re going to take a shower as soon as we get to your apartment, okay?” Laura said and Carmilla nodded.

       Laura began to explain the turn of events as they climbed the stairs. How she went to the bathroom and afterwards looked for Carmilla throughout the whole bookstore before receiving the news that she left, which then she drove to her apartment and waited for her to arrive. Carmilla made affirmative sounds to let Laura know she was paying attention, even though her only thought was to get rid of her clothes and take a scalding hot shower to rid the overwhelming coldness from her body. Laura effortlessly swung the door open, and Carmilla quickly started taking her clothes off, scattering them in her path as she headed straight to the bathroom. Laura was following behind her, sidestepping the sopping clothes on the floor and tossed her bag on the couch, heading straight for the kitchen instead.

       Carmilla left the water running to get to the temperature she wanted while stripping from her soaked clothes before she stepped in, feeling her body tense by the almost scalding water, but soon noticed how every muscle relaxed and her body temprature came back to normal. She could hear the clattering of glass and cabinets opening and closing through the walls and took it as some sign that the shorter girl was so familiar with Carmilla’s apartment as if it were her own. The aromatic scent of coffee sneaked through the crack underneath the door as the fog started dissipating from the bathroom after shutting off the water.

       She draped a towel around herself before heading to her bedroom to change into her pajamas. Feeling clean and rather more hopeful about the whole situation, she peeked into Will’s spotless room and noticed flattened cardboard boxes and a nearly empty hanging closet. _Well, that was sooner than expected_ , Carmilla thought as she closed the door behind her and walked to her own bedroom. She changed to her pajamas and was surprised to not find Laura seated at the couch like she usually did, but instead on the small kitchen table with a cup wrapped around her hands and another one on the opposite side of the table. Noticing that Laura still had her jacket on, Carmilla realized she forgot to turn the cast iron heater on when they first arrived, her thoughts preoccupied by shedding her cold clothes. She took her seat opposite laura and sipped from her coffee, holding the mug with both hands. It was a little bit too sweet for her taste, but it’s the thought that counts.

       “Thanks for the coffee, cutie.” She said, but her voice was overpowered by another thunderclap. The smaller girl tensed up at the noise but soon resumed her original position.

       “No problem. So… I wanted to talk to you about something.”

       “What is it?” She took another sip, and felt the dread crawling under her skin.

       Laura turned her eyes away and looked at her cup of coffee in her hands. Carmilla waited for more than ten long and miserable seconds before Laura sighed and said.

       “You know what? This,” she motioned back and forth between the two of them with her hand, “isn’t going to work,” and stood up.

       Carmilla’s heart dropped, leaving her speechless as all she could do was watch the shorter girl stand up. She wanted desperately to reach out, to stop her from leaving and walking out the door like she did the last time she was here, but all that came out was, “Don’t go.”

       She looked at her with imploring eyes, and asked her to stay.

       “I’m not leaving.” Both girls looked at each other for a couple of seconds, but Laura’s eyes became softer before she added, “I just want to try something, okay?” But Carmilla could not take her eyes away. “Carmilla, if I really wanted to leave I would have done it when you were taking a shower.”

       Carmilla nodded and observed the smaller girl walk next to the door and began to take several layers of clothing before she headed to her living room. Laura began to push the trunk aside to create a larger space before asking Carmilla to sit in the space she had just cleared. As the dark haired girl made her way over, a nearby thunder shook the apartment, shutting off the lights in their perimeter, rendering everything almost pitch black.

       “Carmilla?” There was an edge in how her name came out.

       “I’m here, sweetheart.” She tried to sound reassuring as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She sat in front of Laura, crossing her legs while she balanced the mug in her hands. Laura moved to crossed her legs as well, her back facing Carmilla.

       “Turn around.”

       “What?”

       Laura repeated herself and Carmilla did as she was told, feeling Laura’s back pressed against hers, both girls shifting until they found a comfortable position.

       “How the hell are we supposed to talk if we can’t see each other?”

       “Carmilla just… shut up.” She took a deep breath and Carmilla waited for her to start. “I learned that sometimes it’s easier to talk with someone if you’re not looking at them, so… I need you to trust me and just talk to me, okay?”

       “About what?” Carmilla asked, feeling how she was getting nervous of having to talk with her back pressed against Laura’s.

       “I want you to tell me why you said that our friendship was one-sided? I mean, it really hurt me when you said that. I thought we were best friends and for you to pull that sort of crap on me really made me feel like we weren’t. I don’t know. Are we friends?”

       “Don’t be an idiot. Of course we’re friends.” She tried to turn to look at Laura but was forced back to her original position. “It’s just that…” She struggled to find the words. “I realized you never tell me anything personal. Yes, I know what’s your favorite TV series and your favorite drink is hot chocolate, but you never talk about your past or anything.”

       “Well, it’s not like you tell me too much about yourself, either.”

       It was true, Carmilla knew that she never told Laura anything about her family, or the reason why she has a really bad relationship with her brother.

       “Okay. What about the day I picked you up? Can we start from there?”

       Carmilla gritted her teeth, but it was better than having to find personal things to talk about on her own. “Sure, cupcake.”

       “So, what happened back at your mother’s house?”

       The dark haired girl didn’t say anything, the mere memory of how her life with her mother had always been filled with darkness made her angry.

       “Have you ever seen in TV shows or in movies how one of the parents treats their children like shit?”

       “Yes.”

       “I um… I guess I’m one of those children.”

       There was a long moment of silence with Carmilla not knowing if she wanted to continue.

       “Do you mind if I ask questions? Or would you want to talk about this stuff on your own?”

       If it were left to her, she wouldn’t ever speak about this. But, since they’re trying a new thing, she allowed herself to be a bit more open about answering questions rather than figuring out talking points in her not-so-perfect family.

       “You can ask questions,” was what she could muster after a few more seconds of silence.

       “Okay.” Carmilla heard Laura take a sip from her coffee. “Was it an abusive situation?” There was a tense moment between them and Carmilla knew it. She felt her heart pounding and her hands were holding the cup so tight that she felt like it would shatter at any moment.

       “Yes.”

       “Phisically?”

       She was conflicted. She wanted Laura to know the truth but at the same time, she couldn’t even make out the words that kept dissolving at the tip of her tongue. After what felt like a very long time, Carmilla shook her head placing her hands on her forehead and felt the sting in the back of her eyes.

       “She’s more of the manipulative type.” She snorted, trying to make light out of the situation. “It got to the point where I thought that she was going to scoop out my eyeballs and serve them in martinis whenever she got mad at me.”

       “It’s not funny, Carmilla.”

       “Humor is how I cope, cutie.”

       “You can’t keep these things to yourself. It’s really not good for you and it’s gonna keep hurting you.”

       She struggled to find the words, and every time she opened her mouth she felt how the words got stuck in her throat, but Laura was patient and kept silent. She finally took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and rattled off the things that came to her mind, not slowing down to give herself the opportunity to second guess herself for opening up.

       “She was very always strict with me. I always had to be perfect in everything and whenever I did something wrong, she would always point it out until I was aware of how useless and disappointing I was. Sometimes it was for the most ridiculous things: not making my bed the way she wanted it, spending too much time reading, not ironing my jeans before wearing them. Back then I thought it was more of a big deal. She always told me that everything she did was because she wanted the best for me and I believed her. But she was never like that with Will. She was never as harsh with him the way she was with me. He would always do things and get in some sort of trouble. Whether he said it was my fault or not, she would blame me. Eventually it turned to a game for him, getting a kick out of how mad he could get her and laughing at the types of punishments she would give me.

       “It continued like that till sometime in high school. I was a rebelling teenager despite the fact that I was scared shitless, but I finally got my shit together and stood up to her. Instead of making things better, they got worse.

       “She began to berate me, yell at me, treat me like I was a burden, and she even humiliated me in front of my best friend back then. I spend the night over at her place a few times, and before I knew it, I started spending more and more time over at Perry's. Her mom started talking to me and made me realize what was happening at my house. She even offered me to move in with them, so I did for about a week before my mother found out where I’d gone.

       “You can only guess how horrible that was. When she dragged me back home, she started yelling at me, saying how disappointed she was that I was almost a grown woman behaving this way and sleeping over at other people’s homes like we were poor. I didn’t want to listen to her, but she started saying stuff about my father. Something like, ‘If it wasn’t for your father, you’d never have been born.’ And how it was my fault that he abandoned us all.” She felt a hand reach out for her own and felt how Laura’s grip tightened against her.

       They stood silent for a couple of seconds. The sound of distant thunder and the drops hitting against the window were the only sound around them.

       “So I waited until I turned eighteen and moved out.”

       “So that why you said that you were gonna be punished because of me.”

       “Mmhmm,” Carmilla replied, sniffling but disguising it by clearing her throat. “But even if you hadn’t picked me up, she would’ve found something to yell at me for anyway. It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”

       “Are you planning on talking to her soon?” Laura asked and Carmilla shook her head.

       “We haven’t spoken since graduation, which is nothing new, but I feel like I won’t be talking to her for a while.” She sighed. “I guess it’s better that way.”

       “Don’t say that.”

       “The only thing I ever wanted was for her to love me. It’s hard for me to remember that I have people who care about me sometimes.” She took a sip from her coffee with her free hand and felt how Laura changed her position. Their backs were even closer to each other. She cleared her throat once more, trying to get her voice to steady itself. “Tell me about your mom?”

       Carmilla became aware that the sudden change of subject took Laura by surprise, sensing the tension and how her breath stopped for a second before it resumed as usual.

       “Um… my mom died when I was in middle school. She was a photographer as well and was pretty popular, having exhibitions around Europe. But she preferred to stay with me, unless she had to go to meetings with potential buyers or for commissions and things like that.”

       Carmilla nodded along as she talked, letting her know that she was still listening but staying silent.

       “One day during the early spring, she dropped me off at school and usually she picked me up right on time, but she was weirdly late. So I thought that she was probably stuck somewhere or something like that. And I waited, and waited. I was almost one of the last kids at school when I saw my grandfather’s car drive up and that’s when I got really worried. He told me that something had happened to my mom. I asked him what but he didn’t say anything in specific, only that she was already being taken care of and that we needed to get to the hospital. He said she was going to be fine, but I think he was just saying that at the time, you know?”

       Carmilla continued to nod, holding the mug closer to her face and inhaled the warm steam rising from her cup as her hand never left the smaller girls’.

       “I remember there was a lot of traffic even though it had stopped raining, but it took us a long time to get to the hospital where they took my mom. Which coincidentally was the same hospital my dad worked at.

       “But once we got to the hospital, it was too late.” Her voice cracked and she took a couple of seconds to continue her story. “The doctors told my grandfather that the witness who called said she tried to steer away from an animal on the road but lost control and ended up flipping the car from the slippery pavement. ”

       “I’m sorry, Laura,” was all Carmilla could think of to say to comfort Laura at the moment, even though Laura loosened her grip, Carmilla didn’t let go of her hand.

       “You should have seen her. There were scratches all over her face and arms from the broken glass, I almost didn’t recognized her.” She started quietly sniffling and Carmilla turned around, fully aware she was not supposed to, and sheltered Laura with her own body, placing her arms tightly around her. She started crying on Carmilla’s arm, who remained in that position until the shorter girl was able to compose herself to finish her story. She wiped the tears from her eyes and loosened herself from Carmilla’s embrace, continuing to look in the direction she was facing. “I never got to tell her how much I loved her. So when you started talking about her, I lost it.”

       “I’m sorry, cupcake,” repeated Carmilla for a different reason. “If I’d had known-”

       “I know, but you didn’t,” she let out a shaky breath. “And if you did, and still talked about her, I wouldn’t have tried to talk to you like this.”

       Carmilla nodded again, assured that she didn’t need to say anything to convey her message of understanding and remorse for her previous words and actions.

       “It’s been years and I still miss her.” She shrugged, her voice cracked again and tears were welling up in her eyes.

       Laura hugged one of Carmilla’s arms and continued crying for what was probably ten minutes. Carmilla sat there, holding the tiny girl tighter in her arms and ran her hand through Laura’s hair. She kissed her on her head, reassuring her that her that she was there for her. Minutes passed until the tears subsided and Carmilla knew Laura was feeling better.

       “Thanks, Carm.”

       “For what?”

       “For being here.”

       “Anytime, cupcake.” She pressed herself against Laura. “And I mean, of course I’m here. Last time I checked it’s still my apartment.”

       Laura slapped her arm and let out a soft laugh.

       “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

       “Yeah, yeah.”

       “Carmilla?” Laura turned and was able to look at her eyes through the faint crack of lightning through the window.

       “Yes, cupcake?”

       “You can’t keep shutting me out and expecting me to be open with you.” They looked at each other, Carmilla recognized her faint features through the darkness. She was fully aware that it was going to be difficult to always express her feelings, or say out loud what is bothering her. She was used to always finding other methods to drown her problems or let them out in ways that didn’t required talking. But it was Laura asking her and at this point she was willing to do anything to keep her by her side.

       “I promise to do the best I can.”

       “Me too, even if you get on my nerves because you’re super broody. Or when I get frustrated because I’m trying to figure out what you’re thinking and I can’t. And how much I want to knock some sense into you when you shut everybody out.”

       “Wow. Tell me how you really feel, sunshine.” Carmilla dramatically scoffed.

       Laura cracked a half smile, which was all the affirmation she needed in how the shorter girl was feeling.

       “Well, then I guess we’ll have to learn how to deal with each other.” Carmilla said as she wiped a stray tear before it fell down the smaller girl’s cheeks.

       Laura hugged Carmilla and with that she knew they were going to be okay.

       A loud clap of thunder struck once more, causing Laura to hug Carmilla tighter. _Annnnnnd she’s afraid of thunderstorms. Cute_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which Carmilla ends up on a quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic, for your comments, the follows on tumblr and for the love you have showed these past couple of months. I couldn't have done it without you.
> 
> With that in mind, this is the last chapter before taking a break from writing. Adulting and an upcoming trip in mid to late August is happening, and also my friend that does a FUCKING AMAZING JOB with the editing also has some plans of their own, so we both need to focus on getting things done. 
> 
> But don't worry, this fic WILL be finished just like I promised myself when I first started it. I hope you guys stick around, I love you all and we'll see each other till September!
> 
> Sincerely,  
> Alexis Ruiz

 

       The rain had slowly progressed into a storm while the flash flood warnings on their phones went off almost every hour. And even though things were back to normal, Laura still asked the dark haired girl if she could spend the night. Carmilla, however, had already assumed that would be the case even before the approaching storm and Laura asking. With the lights still out, both girls sat on the couch in the candlelight tucked underneath Carmilla’s duvet, whose legs resting on top of the trunk while Laura was sitting cross legged on the couch facing her.

       “Carmilla, do you have a pen and pencil I can borrow?”

       “Don’t you mean a pen and paper, creampuff?” She asked with a mocking tone in her voice.

       Carmilla didn’t know why she needed those things since the lights were still out in her apartment and it was impossible to draw or write anything with the low intensity of the light.

       “You know what I mean.” Laura slapped her arm lightly. “Do you have any of those things or not?” She said as the taller girl rolled her eyes.

       “I know they must be somewhere in the apartment, where exactly, that I’m not sure about.” She said as she walked to her bedroom without bothering to take one of the three candles with her. The dark haired girl began searching through her drawers, her closet, and in all the other places she remembered potentially placing her school supplies, but they vanished like a puff of smoke.

       “Do you need help?” Laura called from the other side of the door.

       “No, it’s okay cupcake.” She lowered her voice, crouching and extending her arm under her bed. “I got this.”

       Carmilla scanned the area with her hand, tapping random spots with her fingertips until she found a notebook in the furthest corner. Snatching one of the two items she needed, she headed straight for the kitchen in hopes of finding a pen. On the way, she tossed the notebook gently towards the general direction of where she remembered the trunk to be, not bothering to look. Unfortunately, she calculated the distance correctly and nearly knocked over the now forgotten empty mugs on the floor. Laura, on the other hand, reacted just in time and quickly snatched the airborne notebook as Carmilla continued her search for something to write with, aggressively rummaging through the shelves, cabinets, and even the cupboards without much success. A couple of seconds later, a dim light source appeared from the tiny girl holding a candle, the duvet dragging across the floor while wrapped around her body from top to bottom.

       “Thanks, cutie.”

       “No problem Carm. Are you sure you don’t need an extra pair of eyes?”

       “No, no. You stay on the couch. I’ll look for it.”

       Laura opened her mouth to ask if she was certain she didn’t need help, but before she could utter a word, Carmilla cut her off.

       “And yes cupcake, I’m sure of it.” Carmilla smiled and watched as the smaller girl reluctantly placed the candle on the counter and returned to the couch, slouching in a relaxed position before she shifted her attention back to searching for something to write with.

       She double checked and reopened several drawers, scrambling their contents but she couldn’t find either a pen or pencil. _I swear there were a hundred pens in here_. She went over to the living room with the candle in hand, leaving several drawers and cabinet doors halfway closed and walked over to her bookcase until she spotted what resembled a dark silhouette of pen on one of the top shelves. With the candle closer, she snatched the pen off the shelf and made her way back to the couch.

       “Can I borrow the notebook?” Carmilla pointed at the object lying next to Laura. “I just need to make sure it still works.”

       Laura stood up and handed it to the raven haired girl, who began to scribble a continuous circle in a corner from one of the pages but nothing appeared. She continued drawing circles with more intensity until a small line appeared from the tip but stopped shortly after. _Goddammit. Write, you stupid thing_ , Carmilla grumbled as she scribbled even harder, stabbing the tip against the sheets of the notebooks before she finally gave up and dumped the pen back in the top shelf.

       “Did you just-- Did you really just place it back on the shelf? Why don’t you throw it away?” Laura asked, pointing into the dark crevice of where the pen laid.

       She stood next to the dark haired girl and tip toed to reach the pen, but the shelf was slightly out of reach for her.

       “Did you want me to—” Carmilla offered.

       “Nope.” The caramel haired girl cut her off, giving a small jump to reach out but she came out empty handed.

       “Okay.”

       Carmilla stepped back and gave Laura some space, not even hiding her smile as the smaller girl’s back was facing her.

       “Is that how it feels to be so short?”

       “Shut up, Carm. As if you’re super tall yourself.”

       “I _am_ taller than you, sweetheart.” She smirked.

       “By an inch.”

       “And a half.” Carmilla added, with the smile still present in her lips.

       Laura gave another small jump to reach for the useless pen as the raven haired girl continued watching her.

       “Do you want me to get that for you?” She asked as Laura jumped but came out empty handed. Again.

       “No… I can… reach… it!” Laura said with every leap she took until she finally grabbed the pen. She smiled triumphantly and threw it in the trash bin before going back to the couch. Carmilla softly clapped as elegantly as she knew how while Laura curtsied at her before making their way back to the middle of the room.

       Carmilla suddenly remembered there was probably a pencil underneath Will’s bed from the study sessions he’d host with the Zetas in his room. Without saying anything, she hurried to his room and reached under his bed, searching aimlessly for any signs of a writing tool. What she managed to pull out was a some sort of pencil shaped object before going back to the living room.

       “Found something.”

       Handing it to Laura, the dark haired girl slumped back in her original position, moving a little bit closer to get under the duvet.

       “What’s this?” She asked, holding the pencil closer to the light. It was a black, shiny cylindrical pencil, only this one didn’t have the traditional wood around it.

       “It’s a graphite pencil. It’s mostly used to draw but William thought he looked cool using those to take notes.” She shrugged and adjusted the duvet to cover any open pockets where the cold air might seem in around her legs.

       The light haired girl flipped the pages of the notebook in her lap until she found a blank sheet of paper and drew a line in the middle of the page. The dull tip started to crumble under the pressure she was applying, leaving a very confused expression on her face that Carmilla read through the candlelight.

       “Also, you can’t be too rough with it. It’ll crumble, as you can see there.” She gestured to the pencil. “It’ll still write, just use one side so it sharpens up to a point again.”

       “Okay,” Laura replied and changed the position of her fingers to loosen up her grip on the pencil in her hand. “So, now that we finally have something to write with, I thought that maybe since there are things that we still don’t know each other, we’ll write them down okay? We’ll write down random facts about ourselves, whatever we want to share, and you know. Share it.”

       “We covered a lot of stuff between us just now, cupcake.”

       “Yes, I know. But there _are_ still a lot of things we didn’t and I want to know more about you, okay?”

       “Like what?”

       “I know we talked about our life… I mean, not like _our_ life. Like our individual lives.” Carmilla hid the disappointment when she heard those last words come out of Laura’s lips. “But I mean, are there any other things you would like to do? Like if you had the resources, where would you like to travel, or do when you are older? Things like that. I’ll start.”

       Both girls took turns in writing down their information. Laura wrote she wanted to go on a roadtrip, see the Milky Way, get to be as famous as her mother, watch every episode of Pingu the Penguin, travel to Machu Pichu, see the Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro, and learn how to speak Spanish, Portuguse, and French. Carmilla on the other hand, wrote she wanted her book to be published, to get to Mr. Bauer’s age with the same energy he has, travel around the world and never going to the same city twice, go camping, go stargazing in a clear night, see the aurora borealis, get a tattoo, finish watching the 100 best movies according to the American Film Institute, and finally added she wanted to learn Sumerian as part of Laura asking her if there were any languages she would like to know.

       “Wait. Isn’t Sumerian like a dead language? Why would you want to learn it in the first place?”

       “Because I want to.” Earning a disapproving face from Laura, she elaborated. “I once found a few books from my grandpa’s attic in Sumerian and I’ve always been curious about what they were about. But it’s one thing that I want to learn it, it’s another that I may ever get a chance to.”

       “Hmm. Okay.” Laura agreed, not finding any other points to poke fun or argue about on that specific topic.

       “And I still can’t believe you liked Pingu.” Carmilla added.

       “Why? Oh, come on! Pingu was where it was at in the Hollis household.” And she then lopsided her mouth and her voice came out like the she combined the sounds of a constipated chicken. “Pow, pow pow pow, pow, pow pow pow, Pingu, Pingu. Oh!” She turned to Carmilla. “Earlier when you first asked me if I spoke any other language besides saying ‘I think I left my purse here,’ in German, I said ‘no’ because I’m not a cultured enough person, thank you very much. But I can speak Pingu.”

       “Pingu is not a real language, sweetheart.”

       “It is!” She said, and began to talk in an unintelligible way that brought a huge smile on Carmilla’s face while trying to hide her laughter. She continued with the weird yet adorable sounds, and the raven haired girl gave up on trying to keep a straight face and couldn’t stop herself from laughing, realizing that a full conversation was going on in Laura’s head as she continued talking in Pingu.

       “Don’t make fun of me, Carmilla.” Laura tried to sound serious, pointing a finger menacingly at Carmilla despite the wide smile she was wearing. “You have _no_ idea how long it took me to learn that language.”

       “I bet if you ever go to the South Pole you would make too many penguin friends.”

       Both girls kept asking each other questions, the notebook now forgotten. Some were serious, but most of them were nonsensical and they ended up laughing more than asking and answering questions. They carried on with the exchange until there was a brief pause in their conversation, allowing the loud roar of thunder to replace their laughter. The nearby thunderclap caused Laura to jump, instinctively grabbing onto the bottom of Carmilla’s shirt. The dark haired girl felt her heart pounding as she reached for Laura’s hand, slowly loosening her tight grip with her fingers before placing the smaller girl’s hand on her lap and covered it with hers. She was aware that she was potentially crossing a line there, but it had been countless times they’ve held hands and she was sure that Laura wouldn’t mind. She waited for the smaller girl to do or say something, and instead Laura shifted and got even closer to Carmilla.

       “Tell me something about you that no one knows.” Laura asked.

       Carmilla kept an arm around the smaller girl and began to relate how she loved chocolate milk when she first started in college. So almost every friday night, she would walk to the corner store and grab two liters of chocolate milk and the cashier would make fun of her by asking her if she was going to have another “wild night,” to which she sheepishly replied that she was before paying and returning to her apartment and drink the beverage straight from the carton.

       “Now _that_ I can’t believe.”

       “The guy still works at the corner store. Go and check with him and he’ll tell you it’s true.”

       “But I mean, it’s you! You’re Carmilla Karnstein. You _don’t_ drink chocolate milk.”

       “That was before I found some friends to buy me alcohol.” She exclaimed as Laura continued laughing. “Now that I have embarrassed myself, it’s your turn to tell me something, sweetheart.”

       The smaller girl’s eyes became pensative, until they brightened up and told her about when she was in her last year of high school she enrolled herself in student council because she _really_ wanted to be cool. So before classes started, they offered a retreat for all the members and she attended, and they were playing a game in a field and while she was in there she got stung in the eye by a bee and spent the first week and a half of her senior year with her eye swollen shut. She placed her thumb and her pointing finger and shut her own eye and explained that whenever her friends asked her if she was okay, she always reassured them that she was okay. But as she explained the last part, her voice dropped a whole octave and that was when Carmilla burst into laughter.

       “Holy shit, that would have been embarrassing. Did you wear an eyepatch?”

       “Yes.” The smaller girl shyly answered. “I ended up with the nickname of Captain Hollis.” That made the raven haired girl laugh even more. “It’s not funny, Carmilla.”

       “Not for you, cutie.” She laughed until her stomach began to hurt.

       At that moment, Laura’s phone buzzed. She stood up and grabbed it from the small table in the kitchen while Carmilla’s gaze followed her.

       “Everything, okay?” She asked, even though there was no discernible sign of alarm in Laura’s eyes.

       “Yeah, it was just my dad asking me if I was okay.”

       “Because it’s storming?”

       “That too.” She resumed her original position, and tried to start another topic with Carmilla, but the raven haired girl wasn’t paying her much attention. “Carm, what’s wrong?”

       She shook her head but shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Laura glared at her, clearly not believing the answer she was given. “Which is why you’re suddenly sitting in the most awkward position ever on the couch, right?”

       Carmilla wasn’t aware that she was sitting perfectly straight, her arm resting stiffly on the armrest while her other hand was stuffed in between the cushions. _Got me there, cutie_. She let out a sigh and kicked her feet back up on the trunk as Laura draped the duvet over their legs once more, keeping her eye on the taller girl but giving her enough space to speak whenever she was ready.

       “I um… I was just wondering if it was true what Danny said about you being at your dad’s.”

       “Oh… yeah I was. Why?”

       “No it’s just that… you spent a whole week ignoring me. You didn’t text me or anything.” She looked at the floor.

       “I didn’t purposely ignored you, Carm. My phone died after I got to his house and I forgot to bring my charger. But I mean, I was pretty pissed at you for being a huge jerk, so I guess I would have ignored you the first couple of days anyway. I talked to my dad about it and it was good to get away. I got to clear my head and think clearly about what you said, the points you were making. After I got back and finally charged my phone, I heard your messages and read all your texts.” She reached out and touched Carmilla’s hand. “I think what struck me the most were the voice messages you left because you never call. And we had a lot of stuff to clear out and I care about you, and judging by the amount of times you called me,” she giggled while Carmilla rolled her eyes, prompting her to giggle even more, “you care about me too. And I think we deserve a chance to start over… so, here we are.”

       “Yup. Here we are,” Carmilla repeated. Both girls stared at each other smiling.  

       "Hey, Carm—.” Thunder struck again and Laura almost jumped out of the couch like a startled cat. “Since there’s no way I’m going home in this storm, can I change into pajamas?"

       "Sure." She uncovered herself and started walking to her bedroom, looking for the pile she usually had of clean clothes before moving to her closet.

       “Oh I wanted to ask, have you ever read Harry Potter?” Laura asked from the living room.

       “Who hasn’t, sweetheart.” She closed the doors and began to rummage through her drawers once again looking for a t-shirt.

       “Are you a pretty big fan?”

       “I read the books when they came out, but that was it.” She replied unenthusiastically as she opened another drawer, finding some pants and picked up a pair of socks for Laura to wear. Once she opened the door and stepped back to her living room, she noticed Laura with a book in her hand, flipping frantically through the pages in the candlelight, her smile getting brighter and brighter before looking at Carmilla.

       “Oh my god, you’re a Potterhead! You even have underlined things and wrote on the margins and even know the recipe for Polyjuice Potion!” Laura’s smile was more radiant than ever as she began to scan through the pages of the book, looking for what Carmilla knew was a page in specific. “I thought it sounded familiar when you mentioned it the day I showed you about the pinhole camera and everything, but I never expected you to know it by heart.”

       “By the way, I’m still waiting for you to show me those pictures,” Carmilla called out, hoping to change the subject.

       “I’ll show them to you later.” She headed towards the bathroom with the bundle of clothes Carmilla handed to her and shut the door. As soon as Carmilla was heading back to her couch, Laura’s voice came out from the other side of the door and said, “we need to talk about this. Like right now.”

       “Just finish changing and we’ll see, cupcake.”

       It was as if the smaller girl was racing against time to change her clothes because she emerged from the bathroom with a different set of garments in less than two minutes. Still smiling, Laura plopped back on the couch, crossed her legs while facing Carmilla and began to ask her endless questions about what she thought about specific details from the books. Even though the raven haired girl wasn’t very cooperative at first, in the end both girls ended up talking for what felt like hours about both the books and the movies. They talked about which character she liked the best, the classes, the professors, what she thought about this specific detail or that one. Even though she was never an avid fan for collecting memorabilia, she was glad that she could be passionate with someone about a topic she was very familiar with and not be judged by it.

       It felt as if time had stopped for both girls. Maybe it was the caffeine in their systems doing the job, but it was nearing three in the morning and both girls kept talking without showing a sign of slowing down.

       “Okay. I have another question.”

       “Another one? Don’t you ever run out of things to ask, cutie?”

       “What happens if I do… this?” She poked her side and Carmilla flinched.

       “Laura… no!” The dark haired girl said in a serious tone, but the smaller girl poked her again. “Don’t poke me unless you want to feel the wrath of the Karnstein.”

       Laura poked her again and Carmilla did the same, making the smaller girl giggle until they both tried to out-poke one another with Laura gaining more and more territory. She managed to gain leverage by propping herself on her knees while leaning forward, balancing herself by the jabs she was giving Carmilla’s sides. Carmilla, however, wasn’t expecting her to put up might of a fight and had to slowly retreat, kicking her feet on the couch cushions to try to get away. Before they knew it, Laura was on top of her, both girls laughing almost at the top of their lungs. .

       “No, cupcake! Stop! We’re going to wake the neighbors.” She moved her hand to place a finger over her lips but stopped halfway when she felt Laura’s hand on her abdomen to tickle her, going further down into her hip bone in a playful manner. “Whoa, Laura. Stop,” she said in a serious tone.

       Suddenly, the smaller girl’s hand froze in her place as Carmilla was still lying on her back and they looked at each other in the eye. Carmilla didn’t move and neither did Laura, the only sound besides the rain hitting the window was their heavy breathing and Carmilla hoped that Laura wouldn’t be able to hear her heart pounding. The close proximity was becoming too overwhelming for her. She waited for the smaller girl to do something, to move or even find something in her eyes that could give her the slightest of hints that there might be a possibility of them ever being more than friends. She searched and searched until Laura’s expression changed, going from a blank expression to concern and she backed off, moving back to her side of the couch.

       “Sorry.”

       “Don’t worry about it.” The air was tense between them again. _Way to go, Karnstein, you are officially your own clam jammer_ , she thought as she ran her hand through her hair.

       Carmilla tried to think of something funny to alleviate the awkward situation between them, but every thought led her were related to kiss Laura’s lips, her neck, to run her fingers through her body and—.

       “Question.”

       “I’m all ears, cupcake.”

       “This is a serious question.”

       The raven haired girl remained silent, as she noticed Laura struggling to find a comfortable position back on her end of the couch.

       “Cupcake, what is it?”

       “Remember when you said that you wanted to go stargazing?”

       “I’m aware of that.”

       “Well, since you know… we aren’t in school anymore… ” There was a moment of silence between them. Carmilla was eager to know what the smaller girl was talking about and what direction this conversation was going. Anything to take her mind off of what happened earlier. “If you’d be interested in um… In asking for some days off?”

       “Why do I need days off? If anything I want to have more hours back at the bookstore. I hate to break it to you cupcake, but we are adults with bills to pay.”

       “Oh,” she replied and Carmilla was aware of how her shoulders sagged for a second.

       “But,” she said and at once Laura looked at her, her eyes suddenly became hopeful. “my boss told me that we’re gonna have a week or so off at the end of the month since someone wanted to rent the bookstore for some film or something.” The tiny girl’s eyes became even brighter and there was that smile that melted her heart. “Why?”

       “Well, you see my dad knows that it was always a dream of mine to go on a road trip or just travel but he never allowed me to go by myself because he’s super protective but…” she took a deep breath. “I mean, what I am trying to say is if you’d like to go with me?” Her eyes became shy, despite being fixed on Carmilla’s. “I mean, I understand if you don’t want to because we will be spending like a week or more just the two of us alone in a car and I don’t want you to feel pressured just because I asked you to. If you decided you don’t want to I will totally understand, but if you do, I promise it’ll be really fun and you get to be stuck with me for an entire week,” she joked and tried jabbed Carmilla’s side with her elbow, missing her almost entirely and lunged forward instead, tipping her off balance.

       Carmilla knew Laura was nervous because she tended to be a goofball to lighten the mood between them, although it wasn’t necessarily alleviating the situation for her either.

       “Yes.”

       “Yes as in you feel pressured and don’t really want to go but you don’t want me to feel bad or yes you will go with me?”

       “Yes.” Carmilla bit her lip to keep a straight face.

       “Carmilla!”

       “Laura!” She mocked the smaller girl’s tone.

       “Answer the question.”

       “I already did.” They stood silent for a couple of seconds. “As in yes, I’ll be glad to go with you, cupcake.”

       Laura jumped and tightly hugged her while Carmilla returned the embrace. Once they separated, Laura began to jot down every detail about the road trip on a new scrap of paper, annotating different cities they would like to visit, the equipment they might need, with Carmilla adding some things here and there to the list.

       They talked about the trip till the dull sun started lighting up the dark grey cloud still present in the sky. Deciding to move things to Carmilla’s bedroom, they snuggled up on Carmilla’s bed and continued with their planning until Laura fell asleep, curled up besides Carmilla. The dark haired girl stared at the ceiling, listening to the rain falling as she tried to sleep even though her brain wouldn’t shut off despite being so tired and emotionally drained. _This trip will be the end of me_ , was her last thought before her eyelids closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting the new chapter till September, if not sooner (I won't promise anything yet) on a Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura and Carmilla are on the open road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Mention of blood
> 
>  
> 
> SURPRISE!!!!  
> Thank you so much for sticking up with this fic, for being patient and understanding with me.  
> I hope you guys enjoy it and thank you so much for your support, your kudos, bookmarks, your comments, for everything!

 

       “Ugh, what’s the deal with asking men for directions?” Laura grumbled while approaching her car.

She was holding two plastic bags with what Carmilla figured was stuffed with some boxes of chocolate chip cookies, chocolate bars, probably a bag or two of potato chips, and maybe some grape sodas. Definitely packing healthy.

       “What happened?” Carmilla turned her attention from the somewhat dated gas pump to the smaller girl as she threw the bags in the backseat. She was practically slamming the door shut while sporting that bunched up face Carmilla found so endearing.

       At that moment, the nozzle handle shot itself up to stop feeding gas to the car and caught Carmilla’s finger in the process. _Son of a… Shit, that fucking hurts_. She flinched at the sting on her ring finger and tried to look inconspicuous as she placed her hand on the front of the machine. But as she pulled her hand away, Carmilla felt an unexpected sensation, as if someone dropped ice on her finger. Not registering what had happened, she examined her finger closely and saw the culprit: a chipped, sharp piece of plastic from the gas pump which created a semi-deep wound in her finger.

       “So I asked the cashier if he could give me directions in how to get to the town with the weird name that sounded like a noise from a Skrillex song,” Laura started as she took the squeegee and shook it to drain the excess water.

       Carmilla listened to the smaller girl while reaching in her pocket to find a small napkin that was once utilized as a plate to feed Laura and herself cookies when they first started their trip. She shook off the crumbs and wrapped it around her finger, noticing the red stain slowly blooming against the white paper before she returned her attention to Laura, who continued telling her the events she was involved with a few minute ago.

       “I mean, all he had to say was to just keep going straight and there’s going to be an exit on the road and go right. Did he say that?” She moved to the front windshield and began to clean it vigorously, while Carmilla shook the nozzle for any more droplets of gas to fall before placing it back at its station. “Of _course_ not. He started asking me questions like, ‘Where I was going,’ if I was ‘travelling by myself’, if I ‘needed anything he could assist me with,’ you know?" She air quoted with one hand while she scrubbed forcefully at a stubborn and unfortunate insect that got squished some miles back with the other. “He was practically hitting on me, as if it’s been 84 years since he last saw a girl. God, sometimes I even ask myself how the hell I ever find them attractive in the first place.”

       “Were you wearing your Heart of the Ocean necklace again, cupcake?” Carmilla egged her on.

       “That was _one time_.  And I told you it was supposed to be a halfway Halloween party and I wasn’t even thinking of making a costume, so I threw it on last minute. I swear I shouldn’t have told you that story.”

       Carmilla noticed how Laura’s facial expressions changed from the bunched up face to annoyed to almost enraged as she switched from the sponge to the squeegee until her features softened into an accomplished smile as she took the cleaning tool back to soak in the small water bucket and took a seat in the passenger’s seat. “What happened to your finger?” Laura asked as Carmilla climbed on the driver’s seat.

       “Stupid gas pump cut me.” She turned and looked at her concerned face. It’s never easy trying to make Laura stop worrying, but she just lazily smiled and said, “it’s just a flesh wound,” Carmilla said with a British accent. “I’ll live, sweetheart.”

       But before she knew it, Laura grabbed her hand and quickly opened the glove compartment, taking a small box that Carmilla was sure was a first aid kit her dad gave her.

       “Here, this will make you feel better.” Laura said as she gently removed the napkin from the raven haired girl’s finger and squished some transparent gel onto the wound. Carmilla began to rub it in and at first it felt refreshing, but a second later it stung like as if she had just entered the first gate of hell.

       “What the _fuck_ was that? Ow!”

       “Antibacterial gel. Why? Does it sting?” Laura looked at her with a deadpan expression that Carmilla wasn’t sure if she was joking.

       Unsure what to answer, she managed to blurted out, “A little heads up would have been nice!”

       “Oh come on! Don’t be such a baby, Carm. If it stings it’s because it could have gotten infected, so you should thank me for saving your finger from falling off.” Laura exclaimed while rummaging for something inside the box. She pulled on Carmilla’s hand like she did before whereas Carmilla knew better and withdrew her hand instinctively.

       “What are you going to do to me?” Carmilla asked as she played a sort of hand-tag with Laura, dodging and trying to escape her grasp.

       “Wait,” Laura suddenly stopped chasing Carmilla’s hand and sat there in silence, as if she was trying to hear something in the distance. “What’s that?”

       “Hmm?” Carmilla imitated her roadtrip copilot and sat still, perking up her ears to pick up any weird noise that might be putting them in danger even though they were still at the gas station parking lot.

       At that instant, Laura snatched her hand while Carmilla desperately tried to pull away, afraid that she might smear something else on it that would make the sting even worse.

       “Will you relax?” She turned Carmilla’s flinching hand over while holding it tighter in hers.  “You are such a scaredy cat, Carm.” With some difficulty, she opened the band-aid paper with her free hand and the help of her teeth. There was a level of concentration in Laura’s features as she delicately placed the adhesive strip around the wound despite her grip. Once she slipped the second piece of paper and securely fastened it around Carmilla’s finger, she brought it to her lips and gave it a small kiss. “There.”

       As her wound was tended and her hand released, Carmilla looked at Laura for a second, feeling the ghost of her lips against the band-aid before she looked away, feeling a warmth across her face as her mind registered the turn of events they had just exchanged. Before any of them could say anything, Carmilla hastily turned the engine on and started driving while Laura began to select a song from her phone for them to listen. For a couple of minutes, the only sound around them was the music coming from the speakers or from Laura humming some of the lyrics and occasionally tapped the rhythm with her fingers on her lap.

       Carmilla began to remember how life after college seemed to move at a slower pace now that she didn’t have to juggle homework, studying, and working to support herself, although she sometimes missed the memory of being stressed.

       Before she graduated, Carmilla’s deadlines consisted of reading, writing, reading some more, turning extensive essays about her assigned readings, and work on some pieces for several magazines. Now, her main focus was to orchestrate several events like poetry slams, filming schedules, small music concerts, and having dinners with invited authors, as well as networking with potential book critics and people from the literary world.

       Laura on the other hand, became busy once she decided she was going to turn what used to be Betty’s room into a dark room. It was coming out great, but since the materials and equipment were taking a toll on her wallet, she started working as a photographer for events and weddings, taking commissions whenever she could in order to pay for her rent and support herself.

       Although she’d never admit it, or at least admit it out loud, Carmilla often felt lonely since she missed spending time with Laura like they used to back in college. But instead of brooding in her spare time, she busied herself by continuing writing her book whenever their schedules couldn’t match.

       So the road trip they once mentioned on the night they reconciled had been postponed time and time again. It wasn’t until late winter that the topic resurfaced with the trip planned for mid spring. Money, unsurprisingly, became a huge issue as life kept constantly interfering with their plans. For example, Laura had just spent all her paycheck on equipment for her dark room, Carmilla was up to her ears with work, the rent was due, Laura struggled to get gigs here and there, bills had to be paid, Carmilla’s water pipe broke and needed immediate replacement or —.

       “—Everything okay, Carmilla?”

       “Huh?” she answered as she was brought back to reality, shifting from her seat to get into another comfortable position as she kept on driving down the old highway. “Oh, yeah… I was just um… just thinking, cupcake.”

       “What about?”

       “It’s nothing important, really,” Carmilla said waving her off, but she knew that Laura was giving her a look that said she was not convinced with her answer. She sighed and added, “about life. How work and life gets in the way of… things.”

       “But we said we agreed to not talk about sad things in this trip, remember?”

       “I remember, sweetheart.”

       “So… does that mean that you missed me?” Carmilla could feel her cheeks grow warm but didn’t say anything. “Carmilla Karnstein, did you missed me?” Laura asked, exaggerating her voice to resemble one that sounded like a Mexican soap opera star from the 90’s.

       “No.”

       “Oh, so now you are saying that you _didn’t_ miss me?” She returned to her normal voice while leaning closer and closer until the tip of her nose was almost touching Carmilla’s cheek.

       “I…” She slightly turned and got a glimpse of Laura’s lips almost next to hers. “What the hell are you doing? Sit… sit down.”

       “Not until you say that you missed me.”

       “Nope.” She swallowed and kept her eyes on the road. “You’re… you’re going cause an accident.”

       “Don’t change the subject, Carm. Say it.”

       “No.” _Don’t turn, don’t turn, don’t turn_.

       “Say,” then she changed her voice that resembled Carmilla’s, “I missed you sweetie pie, creampuff… other… edible things.”

       There was a moment of silence while Carmilla’s heart pounded as she channelled her full attention to the road.

       “If I say I did, which doesn’t mean it’s true, will you get back to your seat?”

       “Maybe.” Carmilla could feel herself almost imitating the smile behind Laura’s reply but had to stop herself.

       She gripped the steering wheel tighter and caved, releasing a small shriek from Laura who placed her arms around her before going back to her seat.

       “See? I knew you missed me.”

       “Whatever,” Carmilla rolled her eyes, noticing Laura’s adorably cocky smile.

\---

       “Carmilla, exit here.”

       “What?”

       “Here!”

       “Where?”

       “There!” Laura pointed in the direction, but Carmilla was still trying to figure out what was happening until she saw it. “You’re going to miss it! The… the exit. It’s right there!” Her hand moved frantically pointing in the direction they needed to take.

       Carmilla’s brain caught up with her and she quickly flicked the blinkers to change lanes as the exit was getting nearer and nearer by the second. There was slight traffic on the road despite it being an old highway and the car next to her matched their speed, blocking the lane and made it impossible for them to take the exit. Instead, they ended up going straight.

       “Shit.” Carmilla slammed her hand on the steering wheel, hitting her wound but pretended not to notice despite the pain she instantly felt. “Fuck you, yellow Fiat!”

       “Hey, Carm,” Laura placed a hand on Carmilla’s upper arm, trying to get her to calm down. “It’s alright. Really. Stopping at that town wasn’t a big deal.”

       “What was the name of the place anyway? I can still turn around and make it back to the exit.”

       “No, it’s okay. It was um… it had a weird name. Oh well, let’s just keep driving on this highway and we can stop in the next town. That’s what road trips are about, right?”

       “Whatever you say, Captain Hollis.” Carmilla saluted her and Laura slightly hit her in the arm.

       Both girls paid more attention to the scenery around them as they drove through the old highway that followed the geography of the land around them. They drove up and down the hills, with curves here and there through prairies and farms that went as far as their eyes could see with different hues of yellows and greens. Small farm houses were scattered through the prairies and they nearly missed a small town hidden between two hills as they continued with their journey. The land around them changed to crop farms of wheat, cotton, and different bushes both Laura and Carmilla weren’t sure what they were. They began to climb a hill that seemed to never end, where the road was covered by a natural tunnel made out of chestnut trees on each side of the road. When they finally reached the end of the tunnel, both girls seemed relieved and awed at the unsuspecting sight in front of them.

       There was a beautiful, picturesque small city, with different orange ceramic shingles covering the pointed rooftops and bushes encompassing the sidewalks with small white, pink and yellow flowers. The buildings were painted in pale pastels as if spring was their permanent season. But as they travelled deeper into what they thought was the heart of the town, the symmetry that it first offered started to get distorted and the streets narrower until the streets turned to zigzags with people walking and gathering in groups outside of shops, bars, or just lazily crossing the streets.

       “You know, it’s been a couple of hours since we stretched our legs. And my dad kept telling me to stop every few hours so we don’t die of a brain aneurism. Or was it a heart attack?” Laura wondered out loud. “Either way, this looks like a fun place to stop. There are so many people here!”

       “There are _so_ many people here,” Carmilla repeated with no hint of amusement in her voice.

       She agreed with the decision to stop and get some fresh air while her stomach voiced its agreement. They turned through crooked and crowded streets trying to find a parking spot, but there seemed to be a car parked in every inch available throughout the city. Not only that, but despite the lack of parking, the crowds of people were gathering more and more, making it impossible to move.

       “How is it possible to not find a parking spot in this place?”

       “We’ll find one, Carm. Eventually.”

       And sure enough, after having their parking taken by five different cars, they arrived at what they assumed was the center of the town. There were high rise buildings surrounding the square, creating a little enclosure where the sound of the crowds talking and moving could be heard bouncing off the walls. Two paths for entrances that led up to a beautiful octagonal fountain in the center. As they drove around, Laura spotted a car leaving their parking space in an almost non-existent street and they quickly turned, violating probably five traffic regulations, and almost hitting some pedestrians as they noticed another car heading in the same direction they were.

       After securing their spot, they descended the car and stretched their limbs. Carmila noticed the driver’s annoyed face and gave him a devilish smirk as she watched him drive away. Once they started walking towards the fountain, both girls noticed the air around them consisted of instruments playing at different tempos. As she turned around, Carmilla noticed that Laura was already ahead of her and followed suit, noting that the fountain was what seemed like a mountain with a rusted, bronze statue of a dragon perched on top of with it’s tail wrapped around it, its mouth squirting water towards the sky. Laura, with her camera in hand, started documenting the fountain in front of them.

       From the looks of it, it seemed as if there was a music and arts festival going on. Both girls started walking and they took in the scenery: people chatting in cafes, musicians and bands around every corner, street vendors selling all kinds of knick-knacks, artists drawing, painting or doing performance pieces, while others recited poems out loud or joined an artist and they improvised something, as well as the occasional journalist equipped with a camera and notepad.

       It was a beautiful scene where everything was focused on art, so they stopped almost every five seconds for Laura to take pictures of the performers and the architecture, or Carmilla would stop her to listen to someone playing or create a live piece of artwork on the street. But in the midst of it all, it felt as if every person in all of Europe decided to attend this festival since it was getting harder for both girls to walk faster than a slug’s pace.

       “Hey, are you hungry cupcake?” Carmilla turned around and yelled to through the crowd, only to find the spot where Laura was supposed to be was replaced by unfamiliar faces. “Laura?” She looked around but no one answered, a cold chill travelled inside of her and her heart started racing. “Laura!”

       The excessive noise of the music and the crowd drowned her voice as she started to call Laura’s name. All at once, the crowd became overwhelming and Carmilla stood on her toes but it was useless. She felt her heartbeat drumming against her ears and her breath became jagged as she turned again and again to find her friend that was nowhere to be seen. The air around her was feeling denser by the minute as she kept looking around, moving very slowly amongst the crowd of people as her hands began to shake while her mind started to project a million negative thoughts per second of what could have happened to the smaller girl.

       “Laura!” People pushed her every now and then but none of them were the small girl with caramel hair and doe eyes. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit_.

       “Carmilla!” She heard a voice in the distance and stopped on her tracks, feeling a cautious optimism overpower her before she began to make her way through the crowd.

       “Laura?! Laura, where are you!”

       She followed the distant voice that called her name until she found her underneath a streetlamp on her tiptoes, her camera clutched close to her body.

       “Where did you go?” Laura asked when a random person pushed her and knocked her off balance. Carmilla helped steady her and they straightened themselves up, her hands still holding her upper arms. There was a combination of concern, relief, and tension between them.

       “Me? I was walking with you!” The dark haired girl responded.

       “I told you to wait for me because I wanted to take a picture of that building over there.” She pointed at a church with a pointed rooftop and two bell towers crowned with an onion dome. “But then I turned and you weren’t there and I panicked. So I started looking for you.”

       “Dammit Laura, you should have said it louder. I didn’t hear you through the epidemic of people in here, Laura,” she couldn’t let go of her, feeling as she would disappear again if she did.

       “I’m sorry, Carmilla, I thought you heard me.” She seemed to be genuinely sorry and Carmilla reached out and wrapped her arms around her.

       “It’s okay, cupcake. Just let me know next time, okay?” Laura nodded and Carmilla tightened her embrace. “Are you hungry?”

       “A little bit, and you?”

       “Same.” She was starving. “Come on, let’s find something to eat.”

       Both girls started walking through the over crowded and narrow streets, but this time they held hands as to not lose each other again, pressing on each others’ hands as a signal to stop so either of them could take a photograph or to hear someone play. Any other situation with less people, Carmilla would be sure her heart would have beat out of her chest to be holding Laura’s hand. But as this seemed like the only option to not lose her again, and she was more concerned about keeping track of Laura than letting her feelings get the better of her.

       They walked for what felt like hours amongst the sea of people until they managed to find their way back to the plaza they parked their car, noticing that there were now food trucks parked on the furthest corner of the plaza. Maybe because the food trucks appeared not too long ago, but the crowd wasn’t as heavy compared to when both girls walked amongst the streets. They slowly walked with their arms entwined, before they decided to use the fountain as their rendezvous and they both headed in different directions. With every step Carmilla walked and every smell her nose perceived made her hungrier, so she opted to go to the very first food truck that caught her attention and quickly scanned the menu. Several long minutes dragged before she reached the end of the line to place one order for their specialty hot dog. It took another set of long and painful minutes for them to have her order ready, as she looked every once in a while to observe towards the fountain to check if Laura was already seated, but the crowd was gathering there and she couldn’t even catch a glimpse of the monument. Once they handed her her order, Carmilla’s mouth watered as she noticed the had small chunks of crispy bacon bits, grilled pineapple chunks, diced onions, the perfect amount of mayonnaise and cilantro on top of it.

       “Boo!” Carmilla jumped in her place as a set of fingers quickly grabbed her waist, resting where her hip began. “Did I scare you?”

       She turned and Laura was next to her, holding a paper basket with a burger and an order of extremely thin fries. Before she realized it, Carmilla smiled as her free hand wrapped Laura’s lower back.

       “Nope.”

       “Oh, come on! I saw you jump.”

       “That was just muscle reflex, cupcake.”

       Laura rolled her eyes and it brought a smirk on Carmilla’s lips as they began to walk over to the fountain to eat, scratch that, devour their lunch. As they finished their food, they observed the people gathering around them, feeling how the music messily blended in rhythm from the distance, but it seemed like the people instead of dissipating, they started arriving in hordes as the smell of food was becoming more and more prominent.

       “So, what do you want to do, creampuff?”

       “Oh, speaking of creampuffs, do you mind staying here for a minute?” Laura said as she got on her feet.

       “Where are you going?” Carmilla asked.

       “I just remembered I’m going to get us some dessert. I’ll be back.”

       “What about the cookies in the car?”

       “That’s not dessert, Carmilla, don’t be ridiculous. That’s food for the road.”

       Carmilla girl watched Laura once again disappear among the crowd and laid down on her back, looking at the sky and began to find different shapes in the clouds, remembering it had been years since she had done it. She found a dog with its tongue out, a bird, a pig with dragon wings, a man holding a sword, a cat with a fish tail, a bird sitting on a nest until the glare from some object blinded her eye, bringing her back to reality. Despite being momentarily unable to see clearly, Carmilla turned her face and noticed that someone who resembled an awful lot like Laura, was standing in front of her. As she recovered her eyesight, the raven haired girl saw that it was indeed the smaller girl, who was still holding her camera with one hand while juggling a cardboard tray in the other, with two cups and something that Carmilla had never seen before in her entire life. She sat upright and crossed her legs on the edge of the fountain, facing her friend while the latter placed the paper tray between them and the smell of coffee filled the Carmilla’s nostrils.

       Laura took one cup and sniffed it from the small opening and handed it to Carmilla, taking the other one. The dark haired girl looked down and noticed there were six puffy balls that were bigger than doughnut holes. _These better not be green on the inside_ , she thought. They were covered with some warm, thick and sticky liquid that seemed like syrup covering them, sprinkled with chopped walnuts, a dash of ground cinnamon. She took one, holding it close to her nose as she took the smell that made her mouth water before taking a bite and feel like she had just tasted a little bit of heaven.

       “What do you think?” Laura asked, never taking her eyes off Carmilla.

       “Best. Dessert. Ever!”

       As soon as Carmilla said this, Laura took a small ball in her mouth and both girls began to slowly eat them while sipping from their coffee.

       “How did you find these, cutie?” Carmilla asked.

       “Oh, um…” She finished chewing the small piece she had just placed on her mouth and licked her fingers that Carmilla caught herself intently staring. “I actually just stumbled upon them while I was walking around to see what I wanted to eat. I passed by and I saw someone holding them in their hand, so once they gave me my burger I walked again through the food trucks until I saw an old lady serving them to another customer and noticed they were called Loukoumades. They’re greek pastries.”

       “So instead of just asking the person who was holding them you preferred to find out by yourself? Very smart.”

       Laura gave her a look of disapproval, to which Carmilla gave her a devilish smile before taking a sip from her coffee cup. It was too sweet for her taste, but it was still the thought that counted. Minutes passed as both girls kept consuming their dessert till there was nothing left and Laura stood up to throw their waste in a trash bin nearby, but instead of returning to Carmilla, she asked the raven haired girl to hand her the keys and began to walk towards her car. She was puzzled by Laura’s request, watching as Laura walked and disappeared as she opened the trunk of the car in the distance, probably in search of something. She looked for a minute or two, a warm shy smile plastered on her cheeks as she made her way back to Carmilla with one of her hands concealing something behind her back.

       “I want to show you something,” Laura said, sitting cross-legged facing Carmilla, scooting a little bit closer until their knees were almost touching as she handed her the small package she had been previously concealing.

       “What’s this?” Carmilla asked about the small manila envelope in front of her.

       “Open it,” Laura replied looking at Carmilla in the eye.

       She did as she was told, eyeing Laura every once in a while, noticing how her eyes were filled with expectation and excitement as she started to place her hand inside the envelope. The contents seemed to be just a bunch of papers from different sizes until she finally pulled them out and realized what they were. The pictures they took with the pinhole cameras, along with some other photographs Carmilla had never seen before, were collected in her hands; all of them black and white.

       “I remembered you once told me that you were still waiting for me to show you how the pictures came out. So I thought this would be a good moment.”

       The memory of the moment she took the photographs popped in her mind as she went through each one of them. She instantly knew which ones were the ones that she took, since they didn’t come up as good as she expected, but she was able to figure out what she was trying to capture in the photograph. There was one picture she took of Laura while she was taking a picture, another one was of the architecture of Silas, there was one of Carmilla looking up, a detail of a cornice, an archway that lead to a crooked hall, and a ghost-like person behind a window. Despite being small and with a slightly unfocused halo around them, there was something in the details that was captured that was so different from the digital photography or even the commercial development of film Carmilla remembered when she was a little girl.

       There were a couple more bigger ones, one of them was when Carmilla was lying on the floor with her arm resting on a cooler as her eyes were lost in her reading. There was another one of Laura and herself hugging each other wearing their graduation cap and gown. Carmilla noticed how genuinely happy they both seemed. And there was another one that Carmilla faintly remembered as both girls were looking and smiling at each other. Her eyes seemed tired, unlike Laura’s that were filled with life. Her hand was resting on Carmilla’s arm and the background looked like they were close to the stars. _Oh I remember, that’s the night Laura had her exhibition_. She carefully placed the photographs back to the manila envelope and handed them back to Laura. “These are beautiful, cupcake.”

       “Why are you giving them to me, then?”

       “Because they’re your photographs, duh.”

       “No, Carmilla. Those pictures are yours. I want you to have them” Laura said, and she noticed there was a small blush blooming from the smaller girl’s cheeks.

       They looked into each others eyes for a second before Carmilla hugged her, and they stood like that for a couple of seconds. “Thank you, Laura. Really.”

       “Any time, Carm.” The smaller girl said in a low voice, but Carmilla could feel how she said it near her ear that sent a shiver that traveled through her neck, stretching to her arms and back.

       “Besides, I already made doubles,” she followed with a giggle.

       It was Carmilla's turn to swat Laura’s arm once they broke the embrace, but that didn’t stopped her from resting her arm on Carmilla’s as they made their way back to the car. With Laura’s turn to drive, they continued talking, singing, and laughing, not knowing or caring where the road was going to take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura ends up covered in hay.

       “Carmilla. Carmilla, wake up.” The adorable voice she had been hearing for the past couple of days was calling her as her arm was being lightly shaken. There was a warmth that spread throughout her entire body as she was starting to slip out of sleep. “Come on Carm, wake up.”

       “Mmm”

       “Don’t ‘mmm’ me. Come on. Wakey wakey.”

       Carmilla mumbled something.

       “What?”

       “Shht phfshhh cake.”

       In her mind she said “stay with me instead, cupcake,” to perfection, but in reality, it came out as an unintelligible jumble of meaningless sounds. She reached out for the hand that was shaking her, but instead of a hand, Carmilla found she was holding a cold wrist.

       It had been hours since they left the small city, alternating drivers every few towns. They decided it was probably best to take a break at a rest stop to catch some sleep since the sun had set a few hours ago, and Carmilla wasn’t one to argue with that. She’d been feeling a bit sluggish since the effects of that delicious coffee wore off and probably the walk around the rest of the festival drained her strength more than she expected.

       “Come on, Carm. You’re going to miss it.” She slid her wrist to hold Carmilla’s hand.

       Carmilla noticed that it was dark outside through the semi-fogged window from the passenger seat as she was once again shaken by Laura’s cold hand. She finally forced her eyelids to open and turned her head, only to notice Laura’s faint features in the dark. Her brilliant smile made her realize that this Laura, this particularly happy Laura, at this very moment, was what she wanted to see for the rest of her life.

       “Are we there yet?” Her voice was raspy and her nose felt like an ice cube stuck to her face.

       “We’re still at the rest stop, Sleeping Beauty.” Laura answered in a low, sweet voice as she caressed Carmilla’s knuckles with her finger. “I wanna show you something I think you’d like to see.”

       “Can’t it wait till the morning, creampuff?”

       “No can do. It has to be now.” She placed both arms around Carmilla’s back and pulled her so she should be seated in an upright position.

       “Come on. Up, up, up.”

       By the time she managed to sit up straight, Laura was already opening the driver’s door to climb out quickly. The cold air slowly seeped inside. Despite wearing a light sweater, Carmilla curled up in her seat and started shivering, wrapping her arms around herself exaggeratedly to try to preserve what little heat she had left. There were muffled footsteps travelling towards the back of the car and she heard some rustling going on, as if things were being taken out and shuffled around. She closed her eyes and started drifting back to sleep until she was abruptly interrupted, again, as Laura loudly shut the trunk and her footsteps travelled towards her side of the door. The passenger was abruptly opened and the cold windy stung Carmilla's body as if it was still the middle of winter.

       “Here,” she said as she wrapped a blanket around Carmilla, but instead of helping, it retained its coldness from sitting in the trunk, causing her to shiver even more. “This will help.”

       “No i-it’s n-not.” She answered but still covered herself more with it. “Are y-you trying t-t-to k-kill me with hypoth-th-thermia?”

       Laura took a hold of Carmilla’s arm and slowly made her get out of the car despite her protests. _Wait, is that… my scarf?_ Carmilla thought, until she remembered she lend it to Laura when she left hers back in the darkroom a while ago.

       Now in the open air, Laura started rubbing against the raven haired girl’s back and arms to raise her body temperature with friction and probably what would end up in a lot of static.

       “Aren’t you cold, cupcake?”

       “A little bit.”

       As Laura continued rubbing against Carmilla’s arms, the raven haired girl opened her arms and invited Laura to join her, but instead of accepting she seemed hesitant. It suddenly crossed her mind that she might have crossed a line she shouldn’t and regretted her boldness in the situation. But after a couple of seconds Laura obliged, and as she started getting closer to Carmilla’s waist, a small blue spark appeared between her waist and Laura’s hand.

       “Shit!” Both girls exclaimed at the same time.

       “Damn, that hurts!” Laura said as she took a step back from Carmilla. “Did you see the size of that thing?”

       “Shit, Laura. If I don’t die of hypothermia, then I’ll be dead by an electric discharge.”

       Laura slowly and somewhat fearfully reached once again for Carmilla's waist and quickly retreated it, before she finally wrapped her arms around Carmilla and pressed herself a little bit tighter to her.

       “Better?”

       “Much. Thanks, sweetheart.”

       They stood still for a few minutes embracing each other, protected from the cold weather in the dark. Laura rested her arms on Carmilla’s lower back, but then the smaller girl touched her neck with her nose, the contact, although not electricity, still made Carmilla flinch.

       “What?” Laura asked, bringing some space between them.

       “Your nose is freezing.”

       “Is it?” She touched her nose with the back of her palm. “Oh my god! It _is_ freezing. What about yours?” She touched Carmilla’s nose with the back of her hand, and said that hers was getting colder as well.

       “So, are we gonna keep touching each other’s noses all night or are you going to show me whatever the hell you were going to show me?”

       “Wow, you just go straight for the prize, don’t you?”

       “Always.” Carmilla gave her a devilish smile.

       “Okay… um.” Judging by that tone, she was sure that Laura was blushing by her comment. “I am going to ask you to do something, but you have to promise me not to roll your eyes or question me, okay?” As if on queue, Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Are you ready?”

       Carmilla nodded and Laura asked her to close her eyes. She looked for a second at the smaller girl’s eyes and noticed that they had changed from playful to more serious. After exchanging glances for a split of a second, Carmilla sighed and defeatedly closed her eyes. Even though she wasn’t sure what the surprise the smaller girl was talking about. Her heart started racing and she started shivering despite not being cold anymore.   _Relax, Karnstein, don’t get ahead of yourself. This is Laura we’re talking about, she thought to herself. But then again, this is Laura we’re talking about_.

       “Don’t open them, okay?”

       With her eyes closed, Carmilla was able to channel her attention to the noises her surroundings offered her. There was the usual chirping of crickets, a faint buzzing, the sound of the tree branches as they brushed against one another, and even the sound of the wind as it hit her ears and delicately brushed against her cheek. Laura slowly separated herself from Carmilla, leaving the blanket that once covered the both of them and left the raven haired girl with her arms semi-extended in the air. She quickly covered herself again when Laura spoke up.

       “Are they closed?”

       “Sure.”

       “Then, tell me how many fingers am I holding up?”

       Carmilla scoffed. “I don’t know, and even if I did, it’s too damn dark to see, buttercup.”

       She wasn’t expecting this trip to consist of being in the middle of nowhere, in the dark, with Laura guiding her to some unknown destination. Obediently, Carmilla kept her eyes closed and heard a faint noise that got further and further away from her, followed by what was some sort of shuffling of things, but she couldn’t pinpoint what the noise was. As she was about to open them, she heard the small and what she probably thought were almost skips from Laura so she quickly closed them again before being caught.

       “We’re going to take a walk, but whatever you do, don’t open your eyes okay? I’m serious, Carmilla.”

       “Fine, fine, cupcake. I won’t open them if that makes you happy.”

       “Okay. Now follow my voice,” she half shouted.

       Carmilla started walking forward towards her voice, nearly stumbling on the blanket along the way. As Laura watched her correct herself, she couldn’t help but let out a few quiet giggles.

       “What’re you laughing about over there?” Carmilla questioned, eyes still closed but eyebrow raised, facing not in Laura’s direction.

       “They’re just noises. I’m trying to help you to walk over here!” She teased back, following her statement with another giggle.

       “Riiiiiight,” Carmilla retorted, interrupting herself by almost stumbling on a rock that had probably rolled itself on her path.

       “You know. This seems dangerous. As in, I’m-running-very-slowly-with-blunt-scissors type dangerous. So I’m just gonna—.”

       —A pair of hands suddenly held hers and opened the blanket. For a second, Carmilla thought they were going to continue hugging each other but instead, an arm slipped around her waist, ushering her forward. They started walking, and Carmilla instinctively raised her free arm to cover herself, as the hand around her waist guided her through some uneven path until they came to a complete stop. It wasn’t a long walk, but that didn’t helped Carmilla’s heart to stop beating with the strength of a thousand trains at full speed, and the shivering intensified even more.

       “Eyes still closed?” Laura asked in a whisper, as she kept one hand holding her waist.

       “For the thousandth time, yes.” As her words came out, despite it not being too loud, it resounded all around them.

       “Don’t exaggerate, Carmilla.” Laura walked right in front of her, but still keeping her hand on Carmilla’s waist. “Okay, are you ready?”

       “Mmhmm.” She answered. Her breath caught up with herself, as she heard Laura step closer to her. _Laura, what the hell are you doing?_

       Laura told her to look up and open her eyes.

       At once, Carmilla opened them and her heart stopped. She felt like she was the tiniest speck of dust in the universe as her eyes gazed upon thousands of stars suspended on the cloudless night sky above her.

       She felt so small, so human as she remembered how long those stars have been standing in the exact same position as they have been drawn in books, how they have been observed by millions of people ever since the dawn of time, and how they will still be watched upon by millions more in the next million years. How the lives that people have led and lived, were nothing compared to that light.

       Not taking her eyes from the sky, Carmilla looked around in different directions, barely being able to recognize some constellations she had learned ever since she was a little girl within the innumerable amount of stars around her.

       “I remember that night we first planned the road trip you wrote down in the notepad you wanted to go stargazing,” Laura whispered. Carmilla looked down and observed how Laura’s eyes were fixed on the stars.

       She could swear she could see the reflection of the stars in her eyes. She looked intently, seeing the smaller girl for what felt like years. With her eyes still fixed on the Laura next to her, she tried to memorize her eyes, every eyelash she had, every freckle through the dark, the way her lips parted and gave the faintest trace of a smile and the flickering of her eyes as they moved to look from one star to another. As she continued observing her, Laura turned to look from the stars above her to Carmilla, and gave her the warmest smile she had ever seen. She turned back to looking upwards, taking in the stars and scenery.

       “Carm?” Her voice was a low whisper, calling her a few times, but this time it felt different. Maybe it was her imagination, or the magic from the stars clouding her thoughts, but there was something new in Laura’s voice that was alien to her, in the vibrations of her vocal chords that had never spoken that name the way she just did a second ago.

       “Yeah, cupcake?” Carmilla answered almost inaudibly, fixing her eyes upon Laura’s.

       She waited for Laura to ruin the moment with a dorky or awkward commentary, for something to happen, but only the chirping and brushing of the trees around them made a sound. It was as if their words, or any other sound between them was going to break the spell they were under.

       Carmilla’s heart started pounding with such force that it was probably going to come out of her chest. If anything, she was trembling. Not from being cold, but out of her feelings that were contradicting themselves by the nanosecond as her mind told her to take a step back, to think of what was going to happen, but her heart was screaming in anticipation from the sudden change in tone.

       She waited for a sign, a sign that would tell her that maybe Laura has developed feelings for her that go beyond a friendship when a rustling in the distance suddenly brought her back to reality. Her heart froze as she heard something and noticed in Laura’s eyes that she heard it as well. They stood silent, trying to analyze the unknown noise. Carmilla figured that it was probably a nocturnal animal just passing by, but the rustling was too close for their own safety.

       “Carmilla.” Laura said in a low voice, with an urgency in her tone as the rustling continued. “Please tell me I’m not hallucinating?”

       “I can hear it too.” She replied, her lips moved and the faintest trace of a noise came out of them when something that sounded like cardboard or paper was being ripped. “Where’s your day of the week bear spray?”

       “In the car.”

       The noise from a metal container being knocked down in the distance sounded around them that made both girls jump in their places, but Laura was the one to move first. Carmilla’s feet were glued to the ground as she observed how Laura walked back to the car without making a sound, before she reached the passenger’s door of her car. then her eyes were locked in the direction of the noises, feeling how her heart pounded and rung in her ears as Laura closed the door behind her, when the rustling intensifies.

       The seconds seemed eternal as Carmilla tried to control her breath, her heart, the tension travelling her entire body. She was more afraid of the animal making the noises in the background than probably all her fears combined, feeling how she was suddenly the prey to a mysterious hunter. Laura slowly approached her and handed her a canister of bear spray, before they made their way towards the direction of the noise. Carmilla walked alongside Laura, with bear spray at the ready, pointing in front of her as they walked towards the back of the car.

       And there it was.

       The creature seemed slightly bigger than a dog with grizzly fur, its tail wrapped around its body as it was sitting in with its back facing the two girls. The creature seemed too busy looking for some remnants of food, but when Laura took a step closer, it froze in its place. Carmilla felt how her entire body froze as the creature’s ears perked up, trying to pick up on the noise. It slowly turned its head around, and from what they could see, it looked as if it had no eyes, only holes where eyes should be. Carmilla focused with all her might in conquering the fear that had possessed her and tried to subdue her instinct of running away, until she recognized the creature as…

       A raccoon?

        _Really?_ Carmilla thought and at once the critter locked eyes with them briefly, his small hands filled with chocolate chip cookies before he turned and hastily walked away from them with his two hind legs.

       “Holy shit, that was scary.” She lowered the bear spray with a sigh of relief.

       “Yeah, a racoon that took all of our food.”

       Carmilla had not realized she had been holding her breath and Laura’s hand the entire time.

       “I mean, thank goodness it was only a racoon. It could’ve been worse, you know?”

       “You’re killing me, Hollis.”

\---

       It was probably one of the quietest and most peaceful places Carmilla had been, and it was exactly what she needed at the moment. She needed to not think, to not speak, or do anything, but to be alone.

       Maybe the phone call Laura had with her father earlier in the day that stirred something inside of her. She remembered as it was her turn to drive, Laura slightly turning the volume down as she took out her phone and a smile appeared as she greeted her dad on the other side of the phone.

       After a couple of minutes, Carmilla could piece their conversation together as she sensed how much Laura and her father cared about each other. It’s not like she was eavesdropping on them, no, but there was something in the way they interacted with each other. It was Laura’s tone, filled with affection and a cheerfulness, that caught Carmilla’s attention. And that’s when it struck her: She was slightly jealous of Laura and her relationship with her dad.

       At first, Carmilla was surprised with herself at the sudden realization of her feelings, but after she continued listening, despite her best efforts not to, she understood the motive behind the unfamiliar emotion.

       She never had that.

       Carmilla was certain that in her entire life, she had never received a genuine caress, or words filled with warmth and tenderness from her mother, let alone true affection. They were always tainted with bitterness, with lies and deceit. And there was always an underlying feeling that any moment could turn into a screaming match, making her feel like the worst daughter in the—.

       — _Stop being a broody lesbian, Carmilla_ , she snapped herself out of it and fixed her eyes in front of her, letting out a sigh as she continued looking at the scenery in front of her.

       If anything, the view in front of her was probably the definition of peacefulness despite her previous thoughts. There was a lake with a small island in the middle filled with pine trees, the water gently lapping against the rock she was sitting on top of. The sound was soothing and every now and then some droplets would splash on her bare feet as Carmilla’s eyes turned to look at the mountain in front of her. It still kept the last remains of the winter, and at the top there was a cloud coming down in a wavelike form trying to get a better glance of the world below.

       As she continued admiring the scenery, the emotion felt moments ago dissipated as her eyes moved from one side to another, scanning the horizon. But as her eyes continued going left, she realized that Laura was sitting next to her doing the same thing. She was unaware when or how long she had been sitting next to her, her hand holding a bunch of chocolate chip cookies wrapped in a napkin.

       “Hey,” Carmilla said with a faint smile.

       “Hey.” Laura turned to her, her eyes looking reserved despite the smile she gave Carmilla. “Do you mind if I um… If I sit here?”

       “Why do you even ask me that, creampuff? Come here,” She said, patting on the incredibly small empty space between them. Instinctively, her arm wrapped itself around Laura’s waist and after a few seconds the smaller girl’s head leaned on her shoulder.

       “Carm, you haven’t said more than one thousand nine hundred and four words all day. I’ve been counting” Laura half joked, as she offered Carmilla the cookie in her hand. “No, but seriously, what’s wrong?”

       The raven haired girl looked to her side and slowly took the baked good from Laura’s hand and brought it to her lips, biting a piece from it before handing it back to her. A moment passed before Carmilla chuckled and said,

       “Ask me again in an hour, cutie.”

       “Still don’t feel like talking, huh?” Carmilla shook her head. “Do you want me to leave?”

       “No.” She paused, looking again in the distance as Laura handed her another cookie. “Stay here. But let’s just not talk for a while, okay?”

       “Was it something I did?”

       “No, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything.” Carmilla’s voice was warm, and yet, she noticed how Laura seemed tense. After a pause, she sighed and added, “It’s just that… I never had that, you know?”

       “Had what?” Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes fixed on her, but the lump on her throat prevented her from looking at her straight in the eyes.

       It was strange to open herself up to Laura like this. To anyone, really. But that didn’t meant she didn’t feel a sense of relief after saying what was bothering her out loud. Maybe the fact that Laura gave her the time and space to process her feelings was relieving, unlike that night when they both pushed each other to the point their friendship was at stake. Carmilla promised herself to never let that happen again.

       “What you and your dad have. I never had that with my mother.”

       Without even taking her eyes off the distance, Carmilla moved her arm that was wrapped around Laura’s and entwined their arms together. The contact made her feel better, since this was probably the closest she could ever get to holding Laura’s hand and maybe it was enough.

       “I’m here for you, Carm.” Laura pressed her arm tighter to Carmilla’s, as her hand rested on Carmilla’s wrist and began to draw small patterns on it with her fingers. “I always will be.”

       “Promise?” Carmilla asked.

       “Promise.”

\---

       “Sweetheart, you have tried endless times trying to climb that thing.” But as she said this, Laura started backing away from the huge roll of hay in front of her.

       “Carmilla, just… shush. I can do this. I’ve got this. This,” she points to the hay, “I’ve got.”

       “Okay.” She smiled and bit her lip.

       For the tenth time, she looked at how Laura stopped and looked at the pack of dried grass with such determination in her eyes. Carmilla, on the other hand, could not take her determination seriously after the ten attempts at climbing, and failing, and climbing once again, and falling even more. Rinse and repeat. And the ridiculous amount of hay stuck in her clothes and hair wasn’t helping either. Laura finally sprinted towards her objective and with every step she took she released small pieces of dry grass on her way as she flexed her legs and leaped, flopping on her belly on top of the huge roll of hay. She struggled a little bit to find her leverage, but this time she made it. Sitting down, Laura had the brightest and most triumphant smile.

       “Carm, I did it! I really did it!”

       “Yes you did, cupcake.” Carmilla said as she lifted the camera from the floor, dusted it a little bit and took a photograph of Laura as she was looking at the field around her.

       “You have to climb here with me.”

       Carmilla walked over next to the smaller girl, whose feet were wiggling of probably the remnants of her excitement, and handed her the camera.

       “Do you need help climbing up, Carm? I’m pretty much a pro at this point.” Laura offered and flexed her non-existent guns.

       “I’m good, cupcake.” The raven haired girl chuckled, as she started walking towards the side of the huge roll in front of her and with three swift moves she joined Laura, who seemed rather impressed and annoyed at the same time.

       “How… how did you…?”

       “I figured it was easier to climb from the side than from the front,” Carmilla shrugged as she leaned closer and took a stick of grass poking out of Laura’s hair. “And besides, seeing you struggle was the most adorable thing ever.” Laura slapped her arm.

       “So you found it amusing that I was struggling to climb this gigantic roll of hay?”

       “Just a little bit.” Carmilla winked at Laura, before switching her voice and did her best impersonation of Sofia Vergara. “ _Ay!_ It’s not my fault you are so cute and so teeny tiny, you are like a little dog that I can fit in my purse.”

       “Wow, that’s... hot.” Laura said, her entire face filled with awe and something else Carmilla had never seen before. She shook her head and her features changed to one of being annoyed. “Carmilla I am only an inch—.”

       “And a half—.”

       “An inch and a half shorter than you.” There was a moment of silence.

       “I know,” She scooted a little bit closer towards Laura and for a moment she wanted to try something. _What would happen if I_ … she trailed off, thinking that maybe this was the perfect moment to see how flustered the smaller girl could get. Her hand reached out for another piece of hay from her hair, but her voice dropped and she rolled the r, and pretended to have a Russian accent.

       “But even though there is not much height difference between us, I still like to poke fun at you.” In a second, Laura’s cheeks turned a crimson red Carmilla had never seen. “What is the matter, lapochka? Cat got your tongue?” She continued with the Russian accent.

       “Um… no?” She was obviously flustered. _This is gonna be fun_.

\---

       “Are you sure you want to do this?” Carmilla asked, her eyes fixed upon Laura’s.

       “Don’t tell me you are backing out on me now.” She placed her hand on the raven haired girl’s. “Carm, we talked about this, and I asked you if you were serious about this.”

       “No, I mean I’m serious. It’s just that—”

       “—What?” Laura interrupted, her eyes never leaving Carmilla’s.

       Carmilla looked outside the window for a split second before returning her glance at the girl in front of her. Her heart picked up its pace.

       “Are you sure about this.” She looked to the place once again. “I mean, are you really sure? If you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.” Carmilla felt her heart booming as Laura kept her eyes fixed on hers. The devilish smile on her lips made Carmilla’s heart stop and fill up with dread.

       If she was imagining things, by which at that stage she probably thought she already _was_ crazy, she swore to herself that Laura was leaning closer and closer, placing her lips close to her ear that sent Carmilla’s senses over the edge. She instinctively closed her eyes, never realizing she had been holding her breath for probably an alarming amount of time already, as she heard Laura draw a breath.

       “Race you!” She said before opening the door of the car and made a run towards the abandoned castle they found on the side of the road.

       And in terms of finding the castle, it was actually Laura spotting a tiny dirt path on the side of the old highway while behind the wheel, casually taking a detour to find out where it led despite Carmilla’s protests of them getting back on the road.

       Carmilla sighed, opened the door, and slowly started walking through the stone bridge that led directly towards the ruined edifice in front of them.

       From the distance the castle seemed menacing, haunting even. The grounds were overgrown; the vines had snaked their way inside through the broken windowpanes while the foliage in the yard were unkept, almost reached Carmilla’s thighs. Carefully making her way towards the castle, she almost lost her balance several times as it was impossible to see the unevenness of the ground. _I just stepped into a classic gothic novel_ , Carmilla said in her head as she continued walking, noticing some of the walls had collapsed, the door was crookedly half open, and even certain parts of the ceiling groaned despite the lack of wind, probably on the brink of collapsing from the rotting structure inside.

       Laura, on the other hand, was already busy taking pictures of everything.

       “See? I knew this was a great idea.” _This is a terrible idea_.

       “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

       “Why, Ms. Karnstein,” Laura said with an exaggerated accent, “Doth mine eyes deceive me? Art thou afraid what contents lay beneath these shabby and decrepit doors?” But despite Laura’s efforts in being comedic, Carmilla still kept her distance. “Dost thou not hold trust as I vow to thee that I shall guard _and_ protect thee with mine life?”

       “No,” she called out flatly.

       “Fine then,” Laura returned to her normal voice. “If I don’t come back in an hour, tell my dad that I love him, okay?” And she crossed the threshold.

       Three seconds later, Carmilla hurried inside and joined Laura. The thought that something _might_ happen to her was terrifying enough to let Laura venture by herself. Their hands joined together as they slowly walked through the empty castle, their footsteps echoing through nearly every corner.

       “Imagine how this would have looked like when people still inhabited it? Maybe a baron used to live here.”

       Carmilla mumbled her agreement as they continued walking. While Laura was busy snapping pictures of the things they saw, Carmilla was keeping an ear out just in case there were any ghosts, vampires, or any other frightful thing she imagined before they entered. Both girls were too occupied to notice they were still holding hands, but it didn’t seem to bother them.

       They continued walking silently through what appears to be the first floor, taking almost 20 minutes to clear the room. An eroded staircase at the furthest corner of the castle seemed inviting, but as soon as Laura stepped one foot on it, it groaned and there was a snap underneath it that prevented them from climbing to the second floor. Disappointed, Laura finally took one last picture and agreed to go back to the car. Carmilla on the other hand, was beyond relieved to high tail out of there.

       “Thank you for accompanying me inside the castle, Carmilla.” Laura said as they drove back to the old highway.

       “You’re welcome, cutie.” _The things I do for this girl_. “You owe me big time.”

       “Oh, is that so?” Laura asked teasingly.

       “Yeah.”

       “Anything in particular that comes to mind?”

       “I’ll think of something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> I will be posting new chapters every Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Check out #tinystraight!fic for updates or little insight for upcoming chapters


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura and Carmilla are not in speaking terms with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Graphic description of a car accident.
> 
> SIDENOTE: I want to give the biggest shoutout to my friend because they did a fucking amazing job with the last bit.

 

       It all started with Laura’s inability to stop saying “Oh my god,” every time her eyes saw a ride she remembered riding when she was a little girl.

       They learned of an amusement park from the cozy little bed and breakfast they were currently staying at. Both girls, or more like Laura, decided that it should be their next stop. What caught Carmilla’s attention was the name of the park, the affectionately yet oddly dubbed, “Potato Land.” It was inevitable that the two had an argument for approximately six minutes, debating whether it was called, “Poe-tay-toe” Land or “Poh-tah-toe” Land. Walking past the main gates, Carmilla felt like she had traveled back to the 1960’s. The sounds of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Elvis Presley, and The Beach Boys amongst others fill the air while all the rides had a faded, sun-eaten pastel paint that was probably the fashion back then, layered on top of previous year’s paint job.

       They looked at the typical attractions available at the park: a ferris wheel, a roller coaster, the rotating teacups, the flying chairs ride, a ride that Carmilla didn’t know the name of, but was certain that it was the one that spun really fast and you got stuck to the wall when the floor detached, as well as those rigged arcades that nobody ever won anything.

       “Oh my god, Carm!” Laura interrupted her. She was tugging on Carmilla’s sweater sleeve and pulled her forward towards one of the attractions. “They have bumper cars?! Come on, we have to ride them. Like right now.”

       “Cupcake, I swear to god, if you say ‘oh my god’ one more time, I’m gonna tear somebody’s head off.”

       “Carm, please. Don’t exaggerate.”

       “Oh, I’m not exaggerating. You’ve said those word like hundred billion times ever since we got here.”

       “So, you want me to shut up?” Laura smiled defyingly.

       “Well, in other words. Yes.” Carmilla smirked.

       “Why is it that I get to shut up and you don’t?”

       “Because I have my ways of enjoying myself without being a loudmouth, cutie.” Carmilla said as she slipped an arm on Laura’s waist.

       “Nope. Mmm-mmm.” She took Carmilla’s arm from her waist, but her cheeks still turned a crimson red. “You know this isn’t fair.”

       “So, what do you suggest?”

       “How about…” She dramatically placed a finger on her chin, looking upwards at the grey sky while tapping her foot. “I won’t talk if you don’t, either.” She took a step closer to Carmilla and their eyes locked on each other in a playful manner. “Let’s see who lasts longer.”

       “Are you making this a bet, Hollis? Because I can go for very long periods of time without talking.”

       “You bet!” Laura had to chuckle at her own little pun and raised a finger, “but first, we have to establish the rules.”

       “Name them.” The raven haired girl raised her eyebrow.

       “No talking.”

       “I would have never guessed, cutie.” Carmilla laughed and preemptively dodged out of the way of an incoming shoulder slap from Laura.

       “At all.” A second passed before Laura’s eyes turned defiantly. “Not a sound. Not a scream.”

       “What? That’s fucking ridi—”

       “—You told me to name the rules! Or are you going to back on me now, Karnstein?”

       Her tone was deadly serious and Carmilla was never one to back down from a bet. It crossed her mind to call it off, but she was so into this bet that she couldn’t resist having Laura eat her words.

       “Name your price.” _Let’s get to business_.

       “Loser buys dinner,” Carmilla was about to say something before she was cut off. “I’m not done yet. The loser will buy dinner, and buys whatever the winner wants from the gift shop.”

       “Just that? I thought you were a ‘go big or go home’ type of girl, cutie.” Carmilla took a step closer to Laura, their faces so close together that if anybody saw them would have thought they were about to kiss. “Let’s add that the loser will buy a pack of beer, winner’s choice.”

       “Oh, it’s on, Karnstein,” She extended her hand.

       “Prepare to lose, Hollis.” Carmilla gave Laura a devilish look as they shook it, and the bet was on.

       In the beginning, Carmilla was having too much fun seeing Laura struggle as she opened her mouth only to suddenly closed it and how her face bunched up whenever she remembered she couldn’t say anything out loud. Instead, they ended up making the most ridiculous hand-gestures and faces they could think of to try and emulate what their minds were thinking which proved to be the challenge. They flung their arms in the air, enthusiastically pointing at things. They pushed and pulled each other by the arm to walk in the direction they wanted to go in, resembling an episode of “The Three Stooges.” The level of ridiculousness between them increased the further they went into the park, prompting them to cross their eyes and make the most ridiculous faces they could think of just to try and make the other person laugh. But nothing worked and the bet kept on for so long that Carmilla felt her abs were starting to get toned from internally laughing so much.

        _Stop making weird faces, Laura. They’re going to kick us out._ Carmilla gave her the look, but instead of fixing things, Laura poked Carmilla in the ribs as they were waiting in line for the flying chairs.

      _Laura, no._ Carmilla said with her eyes, but it only earned her another poke in the ribs. This small exchange of Carmilla trying to get Laura’s attention but was received with a poke was held for the entirety of the line before they were able to get on the ride.

        After several rides, a lot of lip biting, and probably winning the title of “longest a person has gone without laughing,” they were both hungry. Lunch was as eventful as the rest of their day as they had a small battle of pointing fingers to where they wanted to have lunch before settling on a pizza stand. Carmilla thought they would finally get a break from their bet, but no.

       When the underpaid and extremely bored teenager asked for their order, Carmilla pointed at the pepperoni slice and a can of Coca-Cola. She gave Laura a devilish smile as she started paying for her meal as it was the smaller girl’s turn to order. But when Laura took a step closer to the window, the guy’s shift ended and another person took his place. Instead of having her order being taken in less than a minute like Carmilla’s, Laura spent three long and tedious minutes of pointing at the slice of pizza she wanted and another minute before the employee understood her she wanted a can of grape soda before being able to pay for her order. While the guy turned around, Laura made a hand gesture to Carmilla that made her understand that he was probably high. She lopsided her lips and one of her eyes closed a little bit more than the other in a very peculiar manner that it almost made Carmilla lose the bet.

       As soon as their meals were handed, they walked towards a bench underneath a tree, where Carmilla felt relieved to be sitting in a place that was spacious enough for her butt to fit in comfortably that wasn’t in constant motion.

       It would have been an understatement to say that they were eating in silence, but at least Carmilla was able to see Laura’s eyes transition from hungry puppy to her normal self as she consumed her slice. The minutes passed and it was starting to get cloudier, when Laura took Carmilla’s arm in hers and they started walking again through the rides they hadn’t had a chance to ride before lunch. Carmilla noticed they were heading towards the roller coaster named “The Hastur,” causing her feet to suddenly stop. She desperately tried to pull herself away, but Laura switched from holding her arm and took her hand, tightening her grip, and making it useless for Carmilla to attempt to run away. She was practically dragged until they were once again waiting in line. Every now and then, Laura’s grip would loosen up and she took the opportunity to quickly free her hand, but her efforts failed again and again as Laura snatched it just in time before her hand was completely free.

       It started to drizzle while both girls waited in line and progressed to pouring rain in less than a few minutes. Carmilla felt her clothes, especially her black ripped jeans, sticking to her body, when suddenly the flood lights were turned on and the rides seized to work.

       “Good evening everyone. We apologize for the inconvenience but due to weather conditions the park is now closed. Please proceed to exit the lines and walk to the main entrance. Again, due to weather conditions the park is now closed. Thank you and we are sorry for any inconveniences,” a voice through the speakers said.

\---

       If she would have known how much it would affect Laura to have the park shut down due to rain, they would have arrived earlier. Since the prize for winning the bet included something from the gift shop, both Laura and Carmilla decided that the bet was off as they walked back to the bed and breakfast that was six blocks away in the heavy rain.

       It was ridiculous, really. She had never heard of a fun park being shut down due to rain. _There’s something about this place that attracts a lot of thunder_ , one of the employees answered in a bored tone when Laura asked why they were shutting the park down.

       As Carmilla was scanning the television for anything remotely good, the bathroom door opened and Laura reappeared, with a towel draped around her body.

       “Bathroom’s all yours, Carm.” Laura said as she walked towards her suitcase and started shuffling through to grab something to wear. “By the way, there’s no hot water. And before you say anything, there was no hot water even before I got in so don’t start with the blame game.”

       “Thanks for the weather report, cupcake.” Carmilla said as she started headings towards the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

      _If she believes that I am going to fall for it, she is clearly mistaken_ , she thought as she undressed, shoving her now damp clothes on the floor before stepping inside the tub and turned the shower on. As soon as the water hit her, Carmilla felt like if someone had thrown her into a pool of needles and ice.

       “Fuck!” She screamed, and almost at once the door opened.

       “Told you it was cold,” She chimed.

       “Shut the door, Laura!”

       The door slammed shut as she rinsed her body in between shivers, hoping that maybe at any moment the water would get warm, but it never did.

       “Oh, hey Carm I forgot.” Laura asked as she cracked open the door a bit. “I found a burger place that has delivery service. Do you want me to order you something?”

       “Sounds good, cupcake.”

       “What do you want, then?”

       “Whatever you feel sounds good.”

        Laura chuckled and closed the door behind her. _I better not get sick after today_ , she thought as she could feel her body temperature lowering. She got out of the shower and toweled her body dry, putting on her underwear before wrapping the towel around herself and exited the bathroom to be greeted with a warm room.

       “So, I figured how to make the heater work. We might not have hot water, but at least the room is nice.”

       “I’m glad something works around here,” Carmilla said as she started walking to where her suitcase was lying, she noticed how Laura’s eyes were fixed on the television.

       She climbed into the last pair of clean pajama pants she owned and turned her back on Laura’s as she removed the towel and put on a shirt before climbing in the bed.

       “Still nothing good on the television, cutie?” The raven haired girl asked as she moved about on the bed, her back facing the wall next to Laura.

       “I saw a movie we could watch, but now I can’t find it.” She flicked at the remote control so fast that Carmilla couldn’t focus on what was happening on the screen in front of her.

       “You’re not even seeing anything.”

       “Yes, I am.”

       “No, you’re not. You’re not even paying attention to the channels.” Carmilla tried to take the remote control away from Laura, but she extended her arm to prevent her from reaching it.

       “Carmilla, let me find the movie.”

       “I’ll find it.” Carmilla pushed herself a little bit further. “Laura, give it to me,” she covered a little bit more ground and was almost on top of her.

       “No. It is my remote control.” Laura insisted, and Carmilla was literally on top of her at this point. “It belongs to _me_.”

       “Well, I found the bed and breakfast. It is mine.”

       “Well, _I_ drove us here.”

       “But _I_ paid for it.” Carmilla made a last attempt before giving up, but her hand was touching Laura’s abdomen and as her fingers grazed her, Laura started giggling. “Give me the remote or I swear  I will tickle you.”

       “No. You wouldn’t dare.”

        _You think I won’t?_ Carmilla raised her brow as she stared at Laura and her hand quickly reached out for her stomach. Laura began to giggle and wriggle herself out from Carmilla’s tight grip but it was useless. She started laughing louder which made Carmilla laugh along, until Laura finally gave up and handed Carmilla the remote. With a victorious grin, she settled back on the bed and began to change the channels with Laura snuggled next to her. They shifted every now and then until they were in a comfortable position as Laura draped her arm around Carmilla’s.

       “Do you know what I have realized?”

       “That gelato isn’t vegan?”

       “No—.”

       “That chicken isn’t vegan?”

       “Carmilla! I’m serious.”

       “Okay, sorry.” Carmilla chuckled, her eyes still fixed on the screen, hoping to find that movie Laura was talking about earlier. “So, what was it that you have realized, cupcake?” She turned to look at Laura, whose eyes were fixed on the screen. Carmilla noticed she was struggling with her words so she stayed silent.

       “Do you remember when we first met?” Laura finally asked as she placed her hand on Carmilla’s thigh.

       “Vividly,” She answered as she placed her hand on Laura’s “What about it?”

       “Have you ever had a friend like me?”

       “A friend like you? What do you mean?” The raven haired girl frowned as she looked down at Laura, confused to be the recipient of such a baffling question.

       “Yeah, I mean. Have you ever had a friend who is as affectionate as me? Wait, did I ever bothered you for being overly affectionate?”

       “No, sweetheart it never bothered me. We already talked about this, remember? I mean, at first it was strange, especially when you enthusiastically hugged me even though you didn’t know me, but after a couple of days I got used to you being like that.” Carmilla sighed and continued in a low voice, “it’s one of the things that I like about you.”

       “You do?” Laura moved her hand and traced patterns on Carmilla’s forearm.

       “Yeah, it’s different in a good—.”

       —Knock, knock, knock.

       “Yay!” Laura quickly got up and bounced her way to the door to greet a guy who handed her a big brown paper bag.

       “Hi. I have an order for um… Laura, Laura Hollis?”

       “Yeah, Laura, that’s me.” He handed her a brown paper bag.

       “It’s gonna be €19.45.”

       She paid him and closed the door behind her, climbing back on the bed and crossed her legs, wearing one of those bright smiles that made Carmilla happy as well.

       “If you don’t like the burger I ordered for you, it’s okay. I can eat it.” Laura said as she handed Carmilla her burger, who quickly took a bite from it, tasting the grilled onions, barbecue sauce, crispy slices of bacon and grated swiss cheese. It was messy, but Carmilla loved it the same. After Laura took out her own burger, she pulled out a huge order of fries and at the very end there were two cans of soda.

       “So,” Carmilla continued after she finished a bite from her burger, “what was it that you wanted to tell me you realized?”

       Laura took a bite from her burger and took her time in chewing it, her eyes never meeting Carmilla’s.

       “I realized that… you’ve changed.” Carmilla’s heart dropped, but still didn’t say anything. “Not in a bad way, you know? I mean, like I noticed through time that you’re not uncomfortable whenever I’m near you.” She took a sip from her soda and turned her eyes upon Carmilla’s, “But now, you are the one that initiates it, you know? The affectionate things.”

       “Do I?” She took a bite from her burger. “I never noticed that.”

       “Yeah,” And she gave Carmilla a small smile, but her eyes were downcast. “I never thought you would open yourself up to me like you have, you know? I like that.”

       There was a silence as they finished the remainder of their meals. Once Laura threw the trash in the bin, they both laid in bed together and continued watching the television. After that small conversation, Carmilla felt as if something had changed between them. Something for the better that she never imagined to have had with someone else.

       But then it dawned on her that maybe she was misinterpreting things, since Laura was the one that said that they were friends, but spoke nothing beyond that. If anything, the closest thing that Laura mentioned about Carmilla was that she liked the fact that she was more affectionate towards her. _That doesn’t mean that she is into you. She is straight. She only likes you as a friend, so stop fooling yourself with false hopes, Carmilla._

       Her own thoughts stung her like an arrow through her heart. She closed her eyes as she felt the sting of incoming tears underneath her eyes. Carmilla suddenly felt her breath was short and that the closeness of Laura was too much, as if her touch was burning her from the inside and she needed to get away, but she didn’t wanted to scare her off.

       “I’m going to go to bed,” Carmilla abruptly stated, shifting to cover herself under the bed sheets, her back facing Laura.

       “Are you sure? It’s still pretty early.”

       “I’m a little bit tired from the park.” She lied, but there was a hint of bitterness in her tone that she hoped Laura didn’t pick up. “I can sleep through the T.V. noises, so don’t worry about that.”

       “Oh, okay. Good night, Carm.”

       Carmilla pulled the sheets to cover her face, shutting her eyes even though she wasn’t the least bit tired.

       “Night.”

\---

       There was something in Laura’s attitude that seemed off. She was quiet, something that Carmilla was new at experiencing and it bothered her more and more as the time passed by.

       She remembered waking up that morning, Laura was already taking a shower and she seemed surprised to find Carmilla awake. They exchanged the usual pleasantries, but even though Carmilla was more asleep rather than awake, she noticed there was something odd in Laura’s attitude.

       After they had breakfast Laura’s mood seemed to improve. But once they checked out of their room out and stepped outside, the sky seemed darker than usual as it kept on raining. _Maybe gray days affect the cupcake's mood_ , Carmilla thought. _Or maybe the she’s just sad because our road trip is almost coming to an end._ But still, despite her efforts in finding any justification for Laura’s mood, it wasn’t enough. When they stopped at a gas station to fill up the tank, Carmilla asked Laura to wait for her as she went inside the convenience store and surprised her with a pack of chocolate chip cookies, who only thanked her with a half-hearted smile before climbing back in the car.

       She tried to start a conversation, to make her sing, she even told Laura bad jokes, making a fool of herself to try and make her laugh. But nothing worked.

       “Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?” Carmilla asked as they were once again on the old highway.

       “Yeah, why?”  

       “You seem… quiet.” Carmilla reached out and placed her hand on Laura’s shoulder and resting it there. “Are you sure everything’s fine? You know you can tell me, right?” _Come on, Laura. Say something._ And Laura nodded.

       Carmilla never thought that she would care so much to be the one to cheer Laura up. Any other person she would have found an excuse to ditch them and not deal with them, but this was Laura. She was different. She was special.

       But despite her efforts in trying to make some conversation, Laura would cut her off with monosyllabic answers and would turn the volume up as they drove, not talking for almost an hour.

       “Are you on your period?” Carmilla yelled through the loud music.

       “What?” Laura frowned her brows, shaking her head as she was probably lost in her thoughts. Carmilla repeated her question. “I… no. I’m not.”

       “Are you PMSing?”

       “What?”

       Carmilla repeated her question yet again, but this time turned the volume down a couple of notches as the song playing came to an end.

       “No.”

       “Then what’s bothering you sweetheart? Come on Laura, let me in.”

       A song started on Laura’s phone.

       “I already told you, there’s nothing’s going on, Carm.” Her tone seemed upset. “I don’t feel like talking today, okay?”

       Carmilla recognized it and soon started to slowly sing to the lyrics.

[_It's not the pale moon that excites me,_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhaCNIpAnPs)  
_That thrills and delights me, oh no,_  
_It's just the nearness of you._

       She felt the lyrics like she had never felt them, the mellow rhythm marked by the piano, with the iconic trumpet being played by Louis Armstrong. The beautiful voice of Ella Fitzgerald was no match for her, she was sure, but Carmilla finally understood the lyrics, the meaning behind the words of the song she had heard countless times.

_It isn't your sweet conversation,_  
_That brings this sensation, oh no,_  
_It's just the nearness of you._

__

_When you're in my arms,_  
_And I feel you so close to me,_  
_All my wildest dreams come true._

       Carmilla turned her eyes and sang the song to Laura before turning them back at the road. It was still raining, but like during most of their trip, the road was clear from other vehicles.

_I need no soft lights,_  
_To enchant me,_

       She fixed her eyes upon Laura once again, but this time she noticed that there were tears streaming down her cheek. Carmilla stopped singing. She wanted to reach out for her, to drop the steering wheel and comfort the girl next to her, but the music continued playing and at once Carmilla felt like the lyrics of the song break her heart.

_If you'll only grant me,_  
_The right to hold you ever so tight,_  
_And to feel in the night the nearne—_.

       Laura reached to turn the music off and sniffled, sinking deeper in her seat. Carmilla reached out for Laura’s hand, but she pulled away. The sound of the drops hitting the windshield and the wipers repeatedly passing through the glass were the only noises that Carmilla could hear.

       “Laur—.”

       “—Stop the car.” The request took Carmilla by surprise. “Carmilla, stop the fucking car.”

       She quickly steered and even before she stopped completely, Laura got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her. Carmilla quickly turned the engine off and followed Laura, who was walking in the opposite direction from her.

       “Laura?” Carmilla started walking quickly, feeling how her heart was beating faster with every step she took. “Laura, what’s wrong?”

       “Leave me alone, Carmilla.” She sniffled, but the raven haired girl caught up with her and took her arm. Laura flinched at the contact, “I said leave me alone!”

       Carmilla stood glued to the floor and watched as Laura once again started walking away from her.

       “No.” She said as she once again approached the smaller girl, staying a couple of feet behind her. “No, I’m not going to leave until you tell me what is going on.”

       Laura stopped in her tracks and when Carmilla looked at her, the tears in her eyes camouflaged with the rain.

       “There’s _nothing_ going on, okay? ”

       “Then tell me why you have been acting so weird today?” Carmilla looked at her in the eye, her entire body was shaking with fear, but she was not going to leave Laura alone.

       “I… I can’t do this anymore.”

       Her brain was unable to register what came out of Laura’s lips.

       “What?” Carmilla’s heart froze. All the feelings she had been bottling inside of her during these past months tumbled and shattered into a million tiny pieces.

       “What I mean is that—.”

       “—You don’t want us to be friends anymore? But…” She stumbled with her words and she felt the tears starting to fall on her cheeks as well. “What about yesterday? You said that we friends.”

       “Friends.” Laura chuckled darkly, taking Carmilla by surprise. “Just think for a second: Why do you think I asked you to come with me to this road trip? Why did I asked you instead of Perry and LaFonatine, whom I have known for years? They knew about the road trip and even insisted on going with us.”

       “Then why did you tell them not to?” Laura remained silent. “Why did you tell them not—”

       “—Because I was scared, okay?”

       “Scared of what?”

       “That we would never get to be the way we were during this entire trip. And it scared me shitless because I was scared that I’d chicken out of...”

       Laura took several steps forward, wrapping Carmilla’s cheeks with her hands and pressed her lips with hers. Carmilla instinctively closed her eyes but she was frozen in her place.

       “Carm?”

       They looked at each other and finally, Carmilla took a step closer, wrapping her arms around Laura and slowly returned the kiss. It was clumsy, filled with emotions as they both found the other person’s rhythm, but held on to the other tightly. Carmilla couldn’t believe that she was finally able to know how it felt to kiss the girl in front of her, that it was both scary and exciting at the same time. It had been a long time she had kissed someone she had genuine feelings for, but she knew this situation was wrong. She managed to break the kiss she’s been longing for when her judgment got the better of her.

       “No, Laura, wait,” Carmilla said as she placed some distance between them.

       “What’s wrong?” Her face changed to a sudden look of disappointment.

       “This. This was not supposed to happen. I’m sorry.” Carmilla distanced herself even more. “Just because you probably figured out I have feelings for you, that doesn’t mean that you have to feel obligated to kiss me.”

       “Obligation? There’s no obligation here.” She sighed.

       “What do you mean?”

       “Carmilla, I wasn’t sure if you liked me after yesterday. I mean, I thought we were having a moment back in the B and B, and I wanted to tell you that…” She took a step closer to Carmilla. “I mean, you sing to me and then you smile and even let me hold your arm, but then you get all serious and distant and how is that supposed to make me feel?”

       “I do those things subconsciously and when I catch myself, I have to pull myself back because you’re straight and it hurts me because you’re my best friend and I respect you. And I’d rather have you as a friend for my entire life than screw things up and lose you forever.”

       Carmilla could see the mood lift from Laura’s face with a sly smile as her arms pulled her back in closer.

       “That’s very noble of you, Carm,” she planted another kiss on Carmilla’s lips. “But I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” She whispered against Carmilla’s lips, running a shiver through the length of Carmilla’s body, before she locked her lips against hers for another long and warm kiss.

       This one was more tender than the last, as they both got closer and closer until there was no space between them. The beating of their hearts was the only thing that made Carmilla conscious that she was still alive, that she wasn’t dreaming and that she was indeed kissing Laura. She couldn’t contain the smile and happiness that was filling her entire body, as her hands held onto the other girl as tightly as they can.

       “Wait a minute.” Laura once again broke the kiss, her hands still resting against Carmilla’s shoulders. “Did you,” she frowned, but there was still a glint of happiness in her eyes. “Did you think I was _straight?_ ”

       “Um, yeah.” Carmilla blushed and Laura started laughing.

       “You’re an idiot, Carmilla Karnstein, you know that?” Laura said before she reached out, tilting her head and gave Carmilla another kiss.

       It felt as if they had been hours standing in the rain before both Laura and Carmilla walked hand in hand towards the car. If she was being true to herself, Carmilla could still not believe that all this time Laura had feelings for her. And when Laura asked the reason why Carmilla thought of her as being straight, the latter could not contain her embarrassment and told her about the time Perry sat her down and gave her “the talk.”

       Her only response was: “Well, I guess I’ll have to formally come out to Perry and LaFontaine when we get back.”

       Laura leaned over and gave Carmilla a kiss on the cheek while she poked around the backseat for a towel. They continued kissing and trying to towel each other off in between giggles before starting up the car again, continuing their journey. Carmilla would hold Laura’s hand, or place her hand on the smaller girl’s thigh, or Laura would caress Carmilla’s hair or rest her head against her shoulder. They seem to be making up for all the loss time they could’ve been affectionate and couplish together in the last leg of their trip.

       The open road was filled with joy once again as they sang and talked and laughed, feeling like there was nothing in the world that could stop them, only the gas meter that slowly started moving towards “empty”.

       They took turns driving, never feeling tired from being on the road and seeing every small town passing before their eyes while the rain continued falling.

       It wasn’t until they reached the outskirts of another small town when they rain came down harder that it was almost impossible to see further than two yards ahead of them.

       “Do you think we’ll be able to find a room somewhere? I don’t want to be driving in this rain.” They were paused at a four way intersection with their light on red.

       “Yeah,” Carmilla said. “Let’s turn over here and maybe we will find something close to the highway.” She flicked the blinkers on, signaling to turn right, and attentively looked at the stop light before it turned green.

       With no cars as far as they could see, she inched forward in order to make a right, hoping to duck into the town to find a place to hole up for the night. There was a loud screeching sound as she was turning, accompanied by a pair of headlights piercing through the rain. That was the last thing she could actively remember before things suddenly seemed like they were moving in slow motion. Her thoughts were moving a mile a minute, but her physical body wasn’t able to keep up. Before she could question out loud to Laura what was happening, her body was lifted and tugged by an unseen force to the passenger seat. There was a loud, ringing noise in her ear as she tried to hold onto the steering wheel, the dashboard, anything to stabilize herself. It was useless. Being held in by her seatbelt, she felt weightless, suspended in the air as her body inched towards Laura who managed to get a short scream out before she herself was pressed against the passenger door.

       Glass.

       There was glass between her fingers as she opened her eyes and felt cold liquid dripping on her face.

_Rain? Why would it be raining in the car?_

       She wanted to wipe her eyes with her hand but found that she was unable to move, trapped between the compressed body of Laura’s car.

_Laura._

       She looked all around her, straining her neck to find out where she’d gone. She wasn’t in her seat. The seat belt had been released but Laura wasn’t there.

       That was when she saw her. Out of the cracked windshield, there was Laura, lying on the pavement a few feet from where she was.

       She wanted to cry out, to be by her side like she’d promise time and time before, but all that came out of her throat was a hoarse whisper, something completely inaudible.

_It’s not fair._

       The rain continued running down her face, leaving a trail for her tears to follow as the vision of Laura started to blur.

_It’s not fair._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> The next chapter will be uploaded next Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla wakes up from a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there creampuffs!!! So guess what?!?!
> 
> THIS IS NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER.  
> There will be another one.  
> Sorry but enjoy this one! Thanks for everything :D

 

       “Carmilla. Carmilla, wake up.” A familiar voice called out to her.

       She wanted to open her eyes, but her eyelids were too heavy and her throat was dry. Carmilla mumbled out a response that didn’t match what she was actually trying to say. “Hey, it’s okay. Everything’s okay, you’re having a bad dream,” she felt a hand lightly caress her hair.

        _But what a beautiful and horrifying dream_ , she thought.

       She had dreamt that Laura had told her she didn’t wanted to be her friend anymore, but then she kissed her. She kissed her again and again and touched her hair, held her hand, until there was a sudden and deafening sound of screeching tires and she felt like she was floating, until she saw Laura’s inanimate body, lying on the floor and she wasn’t to do anything about it.

       “Carmilla. Shh.” The hand continued running through her hair and she felt the cold drops of perspiration run down her forehead. “It was just a bad dream.”

       A chill brushed against her cheek and she felt the cold trace of a tear running down her face. She wanted to turn, to hold and be comforted by Laura next to her, but as soon as she moved her neck she felt the immediate pain that jolted her other senses.

       There was a high pitched, mechanic sound that echoed her heartbeat. The cold, stagnant air around her made breathing painful, and as her fingers touched the blanket covering her, she realized they weren’t ones that she nor Laura owned.

       “Laura?” Her voice came out hoarse, alien to her own ears as she slowly opened her eyes.

       “No, sweetie.” She recognized that mess of ginger curls everywhere. “It’s me.”

       “Perry?” Carmilla asked, and at once everything felt too real. The fragments of her memories flooded her brain, causing her head to throb. “Where’s Laura? Where are we?” She groaned.

       “She’s fine and you’re at Silas Hospital,” Perry answered, but there was something in her tone that Carmilla could not put her finger on. “You should get some rest, Carmilla.”

       “Silas Hospital?”

       “Yes, this is where Laura’s dad works.”

       “But we weren’t anywhere near Silas.”

       “Actually, you were. This was the second closest hospital from the accident. Since you were both in stable enough conditions to be flown, Dr. Hollis requested you two to be admitted here instead.”

       Nothing Perry was saying was registering in her head and her memories were too hazy for her to rely on. She simply accepted what Perry was saying and would put the pieces together later.

       “I need to see Laura,” she insisted. The quick action of sitting upright made her head spin and she immediately got nauseous, prompting her to want to hold her head with her hand, but that was apparently not going to happen.

       It was then she realized that any movement in her left arm was restricted by not only pain, but by wraps and a sling attached her to chest. _I can’t move my arm?_ When she wanted to get a closer look at her arm, she made her second discovery of the day: her neck was wrapped up in something, limiting her movement. _What the hell is going on?!_ Her breathing was jagged and it felt like a million needles were pinching her left ribs. _What the fuck is happening?!_

       Perry’s gentle hand rested on her shoulder as she tried to slowly eased her back to bed. The electrocardiogram monitor started beeping faster and it wasn’t helping Carmilla regain control of herself. Perry stood up and with the most assuring voice, she guiding Carmilla to calm her nerves and to breathe slowly.

       “Your leg and arm were broken from the accident, Carmilla. And your neck’s in a brace,” Perry reassured her, clearly reading the horrified expression on her face.

       “Perry, please.” She tried fighting her body to stay upright, mustering all the strength she could while holding back the throbbing pain in her chest and her head.

       “You’re in no condition to get out of bed, sweetie. Please try to get some rest. You’ll see her soon, I promise.”

       “Fine,” Carmilla reluctantly agreed, her voice still sounding weird to her.

       The prolonged effort to find what happened to Laura drained her all energy, causing her to slump back in bed with a huff that hurt.

       “Can you at least tell me what happened?”

       “Maybe that’s not such a good idea right now, Carmilla.”

       “Why not? I should at least know what happened to me. What the hell, Perry?”

       “I know this is going to sound selfish, but with the nightmares you’re having, it might be better to talk to a professional first before I tell you anything.” She rearranged the pillows on Carmilla’s back, gently inching her to the side until she was comfortable again in her bed. “I don’t want to make you relive whatever happened, so once we talk to your doctor and get the OK, I’ll tell you what they’ve told me.”

       But before Perry managed to finish her mini-sermon, she found Carmilla lightly snoring, clearly exhausting herself within the first few minutes of waking up..

\---

       Mr. Hollis was kind enough to check up on her whenever he was on Carmilla’s floor or he had any spare time. And every time that she asked him how Laura was, he always answered,

       “She’s fine, Carmilla.” But would never give her any details. 

       She hated that answer since it was the only one anybody ever seemed to give her and the only way she could be at peace with herself was to see her with her own eyes.

       “Can I see her?”

       “Not yet. But we need to do one more checkup so we can get you out of here, okay?”

       He began to administer the same examination that they’ve been performing for the past couple of days.

       “Perry told me you had another nightmare,” he said, his eyes never meeting Carmilla’s as he began to inspect her leg, gently touching her where there was a massive purple and yellowish spot on the side of her calf.

       “Yeah. The same one from last time.” Carmilla answered between her teeth, trying to fight the pain she was suffering right now.

       “Hmmm. Trauma does manifest itself as nightmares sometime. I’ll recommend you to a specialist once you’re cleared.” He stood up and took the stethoscope from around his neck up to his ears. _Oh, shit_. “Now, can you please take a deep breath for me?” He placed the cold object on her chest and even though it hurt her more than anything else to breathe, she obliged. “Okay. Mmhmm.” He shifted it around and towards her back, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin as it landed exactly on the crack where her robe was attached. He removed the stethoscope and proceeded to put his hand in his pocket. “Look at me, please.” Mr. Hollis said as he brought a small flashlight and began to flick it at Carmilla’s eyes. “Any headaches or dizziness?”

       “Only if I move my head too quickly, Mr. Hollis. I mean, Dr. Hollis.” Carmilla answered as Laura’s father began to examine her arm, touching in different places and even helped moved her robe as he inspected her ribs.

       “Have you been doing those deep breaths exercises I asked you to do?”

       Once he was done with that area, he gently placed her robe back in its original place and started working on reattaching her sling.

       “Sure.” She lied, and not surprisingly enough, Mr. Hollis called her out on it.

       “Carmilla, I know it hurts.” He placed her brace back, bringing a sense of security to Carmilla. She felt like her neck was going to snap if she remained braceless for any extended period of time. “I broke my ribs when I was about your age as well, whereas you only bruised them. But you need to do them. Otherwise your ribs won’t heal properly and your lungs can suffer some consequences.”

       She looked at him and could see that he and Laura shared the same look in their eyes. He hid his emotions far better than Laura ever did, but she knew that it was something he learned through time.

       Carmilla nodded, trying to convey a sense of security to him that she’ll work on her exercises whenever she could remember. The key phrase being, whenever she could remember.

       “Well, Ms. Karnstein, I think our job here is done. The rest is up to you. Do you have anybody that we can contact to bring you home?”

       “Yes, sir. She’s right outside.”

       A fluff of red curls quickly ducked out of sight behind the small viewing window when she nodded in towards the door.

       “Alright.” He chuckled, not surprised that Perry was keeping watch from a distance over their interaction. “I’ll come back later to see you one last time to give you some paperwork, some prescriptions and settle some appointments with physicians as well.”

       “I’ll be waiting here patiently, sir.”

\---

       “So… Are you gonna wheel me to Laura’s room?” She smirked as Perry slowly pushed her on a wheelchair through the halls of the hospital.

       “We already told you, Carmilla. She’s fine.”

       “No, what I mean is, you know where her room is, right?”

       “I do, yes. But I told LaFontaine to meet us in the lobby.”

       “Com’on, Perry. You don’t even have to wheel me there. Just tell me where it is.”

       “Carmilla Karnstein, you can’t even wheel yourself to go hit on the nurse.”

       “I have my methods,” she winked but realized that Perry was behind her and couldn’t see her.

       “Oh, are you sure? It’s room 502 then,” Perry let go and Carmilla tried to move herself, only to find that her own plan backfired on her since she couldn’t operate a two wheeled chair by only moving one wheel. She was about to call for help when she felt two hands grabbing her chair and began to move her again, the sudden movement making her jump. “Now why is it that you need to know where Laura is so badly?”

       “I want to sell her some Girl Scout cookies.” Carmilla chuckled as Perry laughed for maybe the first time since she arrived at the hospital.

       “You know, I don’t think that’s—”

       “—Oh, come on Perry, I made you laugh. That has to merit something, right? Come on, I’ll pay you with cleaning supplies or give you money so you can take LaFontaine on a date. I just need to make sure she’s okay with my own two eyes. Please, it’s one of the few things about me that isn’t broken in half or bruised.”

       With a sign and a huff, Perry wheeled Carmilla in a complete 180 degrees towards the opposite end of the hallway as Carmilla did a mini-victory dance in her head. As the doors opened, Carmilla felt slightly defeated for not being able to move by herself, to be dependant on people because her body was too messed up to even function on its own. Soon they exited the elevator, arriving at another hallway eerily similar to Carmilla’s floor.

       “Wait here,” Perry said placing her phone back in her purse before leaving Carmilla on the side of the hall as she began to walk in the distance.

       “I guess my walk to the garden’s gonna have to be put on hold,” she sarcastically called out as she sat in the wheelchair.

       There seemed to be a small commotion in the direction of where Perry was walking to and she heard what probably was Mr. Hollis’ voice in the distance. Once the crowd cleared up, Carmilla saw a young man being escorted by several security guards as they walked past her towards the elevator. Perry reappeared shortly afterwards and resumed pushing Carmilla towards the vicinity where the crowd gathered earlier.

       “What was that all about?”

       “Oh, just some disgruntled visitor, I think.”

       Her reply was stale and forced, but Carmilla didn’t say anything else as she slowly wheeled her towards Laura’s room. As she came in closer, LaFontaine was sitting on a chair outside her room looking rather shaken up, but as soon as they saw Carmilla, their features calmed down.

       “Hey, Carmilla!” They quickly reverted their eyes back to Perry for the split of a second, and Carmilla knew that there was something going on.

       “What’s up?”

      “How are you feeling?”

       “Like I just won the lottery” she answered. “Did you see that guy they just escorted out of the hospital?”

       “Yeah, he was um… he was causing some trouble. I was in the bathroom. Only saw the last bit.”

       “Carmilla wants to see Laura, sweetie. But I don’t know if it’s a good time right now.”

       “No, um… I think that would cheer Laura up,” LaFontaine answered and they let her in. “Oh hey, Carmilla I actually wanted to ask you if I could take some samples of your—.”

        “Now is not the time, LaFontaine—,” Perry quickly interjected.

       “But it’s for science—”

       “—Maybe you can ask her later,” Perry said between her teeth as a sad looking LaFontaine quickly put away their hypodermic needle back in Perry’s purse. “How did you even get that in here?” She quickly whispered to them.

       “I ‘borrowed’ it from one of the nurses while that whole commotion was going on,” they replied slyly with air quotes, offering a similar smirk to the one Carmilla has as she’s overhearing their whispering.

       “You guys suck at whispering.” Carmilla said as she was being pushed towards the open door.

       It was the same room as hers: depressive and calm. Carmilla slowly tried to maneuver her way towards Laura, but like earlier, she didn’t get very far. She gave a light tap at the door’s frame to grab Laura’s attention, whose eyes were closed and she seemed to be slouching despite the neck brace she too was wearing.

       “Hey, cupcake,” Carmilla called out as she tried to give her the most reassuring smile her face could manage. It hurt a bit to have any facial expression, as she was covered with tiny little scratches and scabs that itched whenever she thought about them. There was one particularly large cut on her forehead near her hairline that stuck out more than the rest, but fortunately it didn’t itch like the rest of them.

       As she got a clear view, the raven haired girl noticed that Laura was sitting on the edge of the bed wearing her “Girl the Hell Up” Shirt and some sweatpants that had Silas U embroidered in them, probably clothes either Perry or LaFontaine picked up for her. She was wearing a brace wrapped around her shoulder and torso as her other hand was holding the sheets of the mattress. She quickly looked up and Carmilla could see the small scratches on her face and on her arms. Despite her smiling, she looked fragile. _It’s all my fault_. She asked Perry to wheel her closer to the bed, allowing her to rest her non-injured hand next to Laura’s.

       But as soon as they made eye contact, Laura winced and brought her finger up to her temple, closing her eyes in the meantime.

       “Ahhh.”

       “Are you alright?” Carmilla asked, her tone filled with concern and guilt.

       “Yeah. That accident did a number on me. I feel like I have a whole nother brain crammed into my skull.”

       “That… that’ll pass.” Carmilla wanted to hold her hand, to extend her neck and kiss her but she was restricted in her movements, as was Laura. The light beneath her eyes the day she told Carmilla she had feelings for her seemed to have vanished.

       Laura continued to massage her temple and slowly it seemed to do the trick.

       “Do you want me to call a doctor?” Perry asked.

       “No, I’m fine.”

       “Are you sure?” LaFontaine insisted, their feet already directed at the door.

       “Yeah, no guys, don’t worry. I’m fine.”

       “Didn’t know I had that effect on you, cutie.”

       “Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that, Carm.” There was a slight smile on both Perry and LaFontaine’s face as that comment slightly reassured them that Laura wasn’t lying to them.

       They looked at each other for what felt like hours until Carmilla found it difficult to breath properly, even without the help of her injuries. She had imagined this moment in her head countless times and there was even a scenario where they’d end up having Perry and LaFontaine as spectators, but she needed them to be alone.

       “Guys, not that I don’t appreciate you both, but can I talk to Laura alone? It’ll be real quick.”

       When her words came out, her mouth dried and she felt her heart beating with more intensity that it started hurting her, bringing pain to her rib. She needed to breath to control herself, but taking deep breaths caused her pain. At least now she won’t be lying when she tells Mr. Hollis that she’s been doing her exercises. Perry seemed hesitant at first, but soon LaFontaine held her hand and they walked outside, closing the door behind them as Carmilla composed herself.

       “Hey,” Laura gave her a small smile that seemed to brighten up the room, making it more bearable to be in.

       “Hey,” they looked at each other, none of them trying to make the slightest move. “Laura,” Carmilla gulped.

       She was shaking, she didn’t know why she was so nervous, and she certainly wasn’t expecting the tears welling up in her eyes. Maybe seeing Laura with a brace, with scratches in her arms, her hands, and even in her face was a horrible reminder that the accident indeed happened. She tried to speak, but all the words she had been imagining, rehearsing, and wanting to say throughout these past couple of days were caught in her throat.

       “Hey, it’s okay.” Laura slowly took her hand and it seemed to make everything worse as she saw the lines and patterns wrapping around those beautiful hands and fingers.

       “Laura, I just… I’m so sorry,” she finally choked out. The tears were flowing down her chin and she was sniffling, trying to hold back her tears, but instead everything inside of her started hurting. Whether she held it back and tried to be strong or let herself get consumed by her feelings, nothing was working to ease her pain. Her mouth opened and closed with no audible words coming out, just cries and sobs that got caught in her throat. “I didn’t see it!” she said louder than she intended, but it seemed like it was the only way to force her words out beyond her sobbing. “It’s all my fault! You, this, for everything and—”

       “—Hey, hey hey hey. Carmilla.” Laura placed her hand over Carmilla’s. “It’s not your fault. Nothing that happened was your fault.”

       “But if I would have noticed—”

       “—Carmilla look at me.” It took her a couple of seconds to do so, but in the end she was met with Laura’s eyes filled with determination. “You turned your blinkers on. You weren’t the one that lost control. Yes, we had an accident, but we’re alive. It’s not your fault.” Laura started running her finger across Carmilla’s knuckles. “And you were the one that got the worst of it, not me.” Carmilla wiped her tears on Laura’s blanket and resumed holding onto her hand.

       “What?” She tried to find the answer in Laura’s eyes, but her own memories flooded her vision. “That doesn’t make any sense. I saw you on the ground outside of the car after we got hit, didn’t I?” She continued sniffling as Laura handed her a tissue from the box next to her bed.

       “Yeah, after the ambulance came and pulled me out. Don’t you remember?”

       “No…”

       “They pulled me out first, but it was harder getting you out. Your door was smashed in pretty bad, so they put me in the ambulance and then used that one loud machine to cut the door.”

       Laura recalled the events as best as she could, leaving some blank spots where she couldn’t remember clearly while Carmilla looked on horrified at the events that occurred.

       “Carm, look at me.” She directed her attention back to Laura, sniffling and wanting to shrink and disappear. “I don’t blame you, okay? No one blames you because it’s not your fault.”

       Carmilla felt a bit lighter after hearing Laura say those words, but there was a heavy weight on her heart. They sat in silence for quite some time while Carmilla tried calming herself down. Laura did her best to be as comforting as she could, holding and caressing her hand and hair and  reassuring her that they were both okay. That she was okay. And that she didn’t blame Carmilla the slightest bit.

       Once she was able to speak regularly and her snuffling subsided, they exchanged glances and shy smiles, making idle chit-chat about the hospital food, the nurses and doctors, and of course LaFontaine and Perry. On that subject, it reminded Carmilla of another pressing subject she needed to discuss with Laura as well.

       “There’s um… there’s something else, but we can talk about that later.” Carmilla stated.

       “It’s okay, Carm. What is is?”

       “Did you… did you tell Perry and LaFontaine about us?”

       “No, not yet. Did you?”

       “No,” she placed her hand on Laura’s leg. “That’s not my place. We’ll keep up the friends act until you feel ready to tell them, okay?”

       “Thanks, Carm.” And she gave her that smile she had been yearning to see since they both had the accident. “Are you ready to go home?”

       “I was ready since I woke up.” And just like that, they placed some distance between them before calling the redheads back into the room.

       Laura made her way towards the door while Carmilla looked on helplessly. In between Perry’s lecture on how Laura shouldn’t be walking around so soon and how LaFontaine reminded her that there was nothing wrong with Laura’s legs, the former once again took Carmilla’s wheelchair and began to push her towards the elevators to gather her things from her room, and finally downstairs as they waited for LaFontaine to arrive with the car.

\---

       Carmilla always described as the Weasley twins’ house as “clean.” It was. There was no doubt about it.

       Everything was perfect. The dinner table, the contemporary sofa, even the bathroom stall. All the furniture seemed like it had been brought to life from an IKEA magazine right to the most minimum detail. But despite it all, it had a certain harmony that both Perry and LaFontaine had with each other.

       Before they left the hospital, Perry and LaFontaine made some arrangements with Mr. Hollis to be the caregivers of both Laura and Carmilla, who gratefully accepted and was thrilled, knowing the meticulous care they both will provide the girls. Carmilla at first wasn’t too thrilled about the idea, but then she imagined the amounts of food available at her fingertips were going to be delicious, and to be honest, she wasn’t ready to be alone with her nightmares popping up every other night. All in all, she couldn’t complain.

       “Okay, so we’ll need to run some errands, but we won’t be long.” Perry frowned her brows, and gave her signature concerned mother hen face to both Laura and Carmilla. “Are you sure you don’t need us to do anything for you? Make you some hot chocolate, some soup, bring you something from the store?”

       “We will also need to stock up on your painkillers and maybe buy some ice packs for you guys.” LaFontaine exclaimed, placing their hand on Perry’s shoulder.

       “Oh, yes. Thank you for reminding me, sweetie. Okay, so. We’ll see you in a couple of hours. There’s the remote control and there’s Netflix in case you girls feel like watching a movie together, okay?”

       “I’m sure we can manage by ourselves, Perry. Thank you for everything, really,” Laura said as she took a seat, giving herself and Carmilla some distance while holding a glass filled with water.

       Carmilla managed to wheel herself without any additional injury around their living room and positioned herself in front of their couch. Balancing on one foot, she wheeled her temporary wheelchair on the side and plopped herself down before both Perry and LaFontaine moved one section of the couch to form an L shaped so Carmilla could rest her leg without effort while Laura sat next to her, sharing her water.

       “I need one of these couches in my house. Once I get rid of mine, if I ever do,” she was more talking to herself rather than to anybody else.

       They headed towards the door, and the moment they shut it behind them, Carmilla let out a deep sigh, only to have her ribs protest. Before she could get a word out, the door abruptly opened made her jump, and if she could have, she would’ve whipped her head towards the noise. Instead, the familiar voice assured her that it wasn’t an intruder or burglar.

       “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave LaFontaine here?” Perry’s voice called through the cracked door.

       “Com’on Perr, they said they’re fine.” LaFontaine could be heard outside before Perry was dragged out of sight, pulling the door shut with her.

       “Alright. I’m just worried, okay?” her voice could be heard muffled outside the door.

       “I know, I know. But they’re big kids. Speaking of, let’s get some ice cream while we’re out.” Their conversation eventually faded as both Laura and Carmilla looked on in amusement before turning their attention back on each other.

       “Are you okay, Carm?”

       “Yeah, it’s just my ribs that hurt.”

       “Is there anything I can do to help?”

       Carmilla asked Laura to come in closer, lightly patting a small space on the couch, since it was impossible for her to turn her head and Laura obliged, sitting with her thighs carefully brushing against Carmilla’s. They held hands and the smaller girl began to brush her thumb against the raven haired girl’s knuckles.

       It was nice to have Laura sitting next to her and there were so many things that Carmilla wanted to tell her, but all the words seemed to disappear at the tip of her tongue. She wanted to tell her that she was sorry, that she was happy that they were okay, that she was glad that even though she was in pain, they were together.

       “I bet your dad is pretty pissed at me,” she finally managed to get out. _Of all the things to say, you said that?_

       “What? No. He’s not mad at you, Carm.” She smiled but turned serious in a matter of seconds. “He was just, um… I think it reminded him of my mom. He was pretty shaken up when he found out about the accident that I bet he pulled out all the favors he was owed to have us transferred to the hospital he works for. But he’s just glad we’re okay.”

       “I’m sorry—”

       “Carmilla.” She interrupted her. “I told you, don’t let it get to you, okay?”

       “Easier said than done, cupcake.”

       “Speaking of cupcakes,” She slowly shifted so her shoulder wouldn’t hit anything. “I’ve been meaning to ask you for some time already. When we first met,” She looked down at Carmilla’s hand, “did you used to call me all of those pet names because you weren’t interested in me or because you didn’t remembered my name?”

       “It’s just something I do, you know? I used to call girls that because I never expected to see them again. It’s easier to forget about someone if you don’t remember their name. Plus I thought the whole thing was a set up.”

       “A set up?”

       “Yeah. Like a blind date. Didn’t the ginger twins ever try to hook you up with anybody?”

       “Ummm, no? They think I’m straight, remember? So I guess the number of heterosexual guys they know must be pretty small.”

       “That’s true. But yeah, they’ve played cupid with me a few times and failed miserably. So I thought this was just another one of their attempts.”

       “If that’s the case, maybe I should’ve came out to them sooner.” Laura chuckled. Carmilla tried leaning over slightly to nudge her but settled for pulsing her grip on her hand, smiling as she’s replaying scenes from the day they met in her head.

       “So why is it that you never told them that you weren’t full on straight?”

       “I don’t know. They never asked. And they also met me when I was…” Laura took a deep breath, and Carmilla already knew the answer despite pretending to be unaware of the story, but Laura told her about her being engaged and how it all ended. There were some extra details that Danny had missed, but it was her version after all, not a third party observer. “Can I ask you something?”

       “Anything.”

       “Can you be there with me? When I tell them?”

       “Of course.” Carmilla answered, and interlocked her fingers with Laura’s.

       The smaller girl leaned in and gave her a tender kiss. After a couple of extremely painful and difficult minutes, Carmilla readjusted herself on the couch so her butt wasn’t numb and Laura leaned closer to Carmilla, wrapping their arms together. They managed to makeshift cuddle while watching Netflix together and every now and then Laura would turn her entire body and give her a chaste kiss on her cheek.

       After a few episodes of some cartoon about a burger-flipping family, both girls were fast asleep next to each other when Perry and LaFontaine came home. She didn’t know how or when, but when Carmilla opened her eyes, the sun was already setting. While Perry could be heard rummaging in their bedroom, LaFontaine was stacking groceries in the fridge and pantry, holding onto the little brown bags of medicine and painkillers for both Laura and Carmilla to give to them later. As quietly as they could, they snuck around the couch to join Perry in collecting the blankets for the girls in the living room. Carmilla mumbled a quick thanks as LaFontaine covered the both of them with blankets before closing her eyes to try to go back to sleep while feeling for Laura’s hand.

\---

       The bruise on her ribs had vanished almost completely, and her neck didn’t hurt as much, even though it was still a little too stiff for her liking despite not wearing her brace anymore. The only thing still bothering her was her leg and her arm, especially now that the weather was warmer and it itched every now and then. She was healing slowly, and the physicians always assured her that she was lucky nothing happened to her spine. But she was tired of doctor’s appointments, physicians, calls from the hospital to fill out more paperwork. And there was also the therapist she was seeing weekly for her recurring nightmares.

       Carmilla once tried to convince Perry and LaFontaine that she was capable of live by herself in her own apartment.

       “Are you willing to climb all those stairs, Carmilla? What happens if you trip? Or even worse, you hurt yourself and end up screwing all of the progress you’ve made so far?”

        _Good call_ , Carmilla though. And that was the end of the discussion. The same happened with Laura.

       Things were good and strange at the same time with her. It was an odd situation for Carmilla to hide her feelings for Laura whenever Perry and LaFontaine were present. Her solace was when they were both alone and they would watch movies with their bodies close to one another, hold hands, or just be able to kiss without feeling like they were being watched.

       Carmilla watched more classic movies with Laura whenever she was in the mood to pay attention, so she showed her Roman Holiday, From Here to Eternity, The Hustler (to which Laura thought that Paul Newman was extremely handsome), All About Eve, Chinatown, Annie Hall and others. Much to her surprise, Laura was really invested with some movies and cried with others. Carmilla found that endearing despite Laura’s protest of Carmilla making fun of her, but they were able to enjoy each other’s company regardless.

       When it was Laura’s turn to pick movies, she preferred movies like Moonrise Kingdom, Elizabethtown, Much Ado About Nothing, Charlie Countryman, and Amelie. She was rather shocked that Carmilla had never seen them before.

       During the first couple of weeks it was a difficult situation since both girls weren’t fully recovered and depended upon each other, Carmilla more than Laura. But they managed to bear with each other and learned how to give each other space so they wouldn’t tear each other’s heads off. It was as if the pain from the physician, the constant appointments, and the hassle of traveling would put them both in a bad mood, so after those days of extreme physical endurance, they looked forward to spending some time by themselves.

       One day, Carmilla woke up with the click of a camera, and found Laura kneeling next to her inflatable mattress with a camera in her hand.

       “Where did you get that?”

       “LaFontaine brought it from my apartment on their way here.”

       After that, Laura started photographing things more and more, taking some days to walk around while Carmilla would spend the days writing or reading. There were other occasions in which they would go to the patio whenever the heat was enjoyable and bearable, walk to the end of the block together, or if they were feeling adventurous they would head to a small coffee and doughnuts place named “Bel Mont.” Carmilla recognized the travelling cups from all those months ago when Perry once barged on her apartment and told her the news that Laura was straight.

       After one day filled with pain and desperation because her leg’s progress wasn’t as fast as she would have preferred, Carmilla finally got back to her temporary home from the chiropractor and physicians to be greeted with an empty house. She missed her apartment, her bed, her books, working at the bookstore and even write for extended hours without her body protesting for a change of position.

       “Carm?” Laura called out as she opened the door.

       “Over here, cupcake.” She answered as she slowly and carefully sat down once again on the sofa.

       “Hey.”

       “Hey.” They leaned in and kissed. It felt natural, but there was still that stiffness in both their necks that didn’t allowed for them to have a prolonged kiss. They exchanged the “how was your day,” and “what did the doctor tell you” chit-chat they had been having for the past several weeks. “Guess what?” Laura asked.

       “What?” Carmilla answered as she reached out and ran her hand through Laura’s hair.

       “The doctor said that my shoulder is almost healed,” She gave her a bright smile.

       “Congratulations, sweetheart.”

       “Thanks! And guess what again?” Carmilla rolled her eyes.

       “You found out you have a crush on me?”

       “Actually, it’s more like I found out you had a crush on me. That’s obvious, obviously. But,” she lowered her eyes. “I think I’m ready.”

       “For what?”

       “To tell Perry and LaFontaine about the whole bisexuality thing. I suspect they already know something, so I kind of want to beat them to the punch.”

       “Are you sure? You don’t have to rush things and even if they do suspect—.”

       “—No, I want to do this. I think it’s time.” Carmilla slipped her hand and linked her fingers with Laura’s, giving her the most reassuring smile she could muster.

       “Alright, cupcake. Where do we start?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic and for leaving kudos and commentaries!
> 
> This is the first time I write fanfiction, so criticism is always welcomed and let me know what you thought of it and spread the love!
> 
> The last chapter will be uploaded next Thursgay after 5 pm Mountain US Time.
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from last chapter, in which the truth is being spoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the final chapter of this fic. I hope you guys liked it and don't forget to share it with your fellow creampuffs!
> 
> I would like to thank my friend for being supportive during the creation of this fic and help me get out of my writer's block, for the late hours we would spend tweaking and understanding my word vomits, and for basically making this fic amazing. I could have never have done it without their help and they deserve the biggest shoutout of the world.
> 
> But most of all thank YOU for reading this fic, for ranting about it, for getting all the feels, for the kudos, the commentaries, the criticism, the recommendations, bookmarks, everything! You were a major factor in making this fic a finished product.
> 
> Thank you so much, creampuffs!
> 
> Love, Alexis

 

       

       Carmilla amused herself by watching Laura get stuck in a loop of walking around the kitchen, pacing the living room, and finally sitting down next to her only to stand up after a couple of minutes to repeat the process. She went to the pantry and opened all the cabinet doors, trying to figure out what else they might need for game night and making a list of possible snacks, but no matter how many time she checked, she needed to check once more. Well, maybe twice more in case she missed something.

       “Laura, relax.” Carmilla extended her hand for Laura to hold. “It’s gonna be okay.”

       “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.” Laura let out a sigh, “I mean, I kinda know why since last time I came out to my dad I was a wreck and I know that Perry and LaFontaine will be fine with all of this. I know they’ll be fine, so I have nothing to worry about. I mean, come on. It’s Perry and LaFontaine, right? They’ll be fine. Everything’s gonna be fine.” She sounded like she was giving herself a pep-talk rather than having a conversation.

       “Do you really think that either of the ginger twins will turn their back on you just because you’re bisexual?” She guided Laura to sit next to her on the sofa, placing her arm around the smaller girl’s back and held her hand before looking at her seriously. “Look, it’s gonna be fine. I know them longer than you have and trust me, it’s going to happen like this: gingerlocks will probably lecture you for never telling her sooner and science ginger probably saw this coming a mile away and tried to tell her, but she just wouldn’t listen. So don’t worry.” She squeezed Laura’s hand, “and besides, if they start some shit, I’ll turn myself into a giant black cat and tear their limbs apart.”

       Laura chuckled and that seemed to lighten her up.

       “See? You’re laughing already! Come here.” Laura scooted closer to Carmilla and they sat with their foreheads pressed against the other in silence while she continued running her fingers through Laura’s hair. “Everything’s gonna be fine, Laura, I promise,” Carmilla said in a low voice.

       The stress of coming out was beginning to fade as Carmilla got lost in Laura’s eyes when suddenly they were startled by a phone ringing. Laura reached out for it and Carmilla noticed it was Raggedy Andy calling. _Even when they’re not here they certainly know how to kill the mood. Un-LaF-ucking believable_.

       “Hey LaF, what’s up? Are you busy right now? I can… No, everything’s okay… Yeah no, Carm’s perfect as well,” Carmilla winked, who made Laura’s face turn deep red and rolled her eyes even though her lips curled in a smile. “Yeah no, don’t worry… Hey listen, I was calling because I wanted to ask you something. So, Carmilla and I have been thinking of, well, you know how Perry has been wanting to have a ‘game night’ with all of us?” Carmilla ran her fingers through Laura’s hair and leaned closer to kiss her but Laura turned her face so she kissed her cheek instead. “Yeah, we want it to be a surprise for Perry, but we would need your help. Maybe get something to drink… I know we can’t drink! Why would you… Soda’s fine… Grape flavored if that’s possible… Yeah, absolutely, if you guys want some…” she trailed off by a consecutive set of “hmm’s,” and “ah’s” before her eyes widened and exclaimed, “Oh oh oh! What about maybe tell her that we’ll buy dinner for all of us, that way she can get a rest from cooking for all of us tonight? Yeah, think of something—”

       “—No weird shit!” Carmilla leaned closer towards the phone while Laura leaned closer to her lips, but Carmilla quickly pulled back, clearly enjoying teasing her.

       “Carm, shhh. I’m talking to LaFontaine,” She glared at Carmilla and menacingly pointed a finger at her as LaFontaine was talking on the other end. “What? Oh, she said don’t get anything weird… I think she means no green things because she got that allergic reaction with the falafel…. Yeah, you know how she is… yeah great, that works too, absolutely! Okay, I’ll see you later, LaFontaine. And thank you so so so so so so much! Okaybye!” She hung up and placed her down. “Seriously? You couldn’t have waited for a more opportune moment to try and _kiss_ me?”

       “And where’s the fun in that, cutie?” Carmilla inched herself closer to Laura until their lips met.

       They exchanged kisses and curled up next to each other, Carmilla finding a good spot so she wasn’t adding any extra pressure on her leg as they started watching another movie. She was glad her leg improved enough to stop using a wheelchair, but the boot they put her in was massive and not the most comfortable, nor fashionable, thing in the world.

       It was nice to have Laura next to her, with her head leaning against her shoulder as she traced patterns on Carmilla’s arm with her fingertips. The replacement of her sling with a cast didn’t do much to help during cuddling, but they somehow managed to make it work. Carmilla would do the same on Laura’s shoulder or even on her collarbone, noticing how it would send shivers through the smaller girl’s arms, but didn’t say anything. After several episodes of watching “Bob’s Burgers,” Laura started nervous shifting in place as the day continued to pass by and neither Perry nor LaFontaine arrived home from work.

       At last, her phone buzzed and she quickly snatched it from the small table across from them.

LaF (5:47 pm):          Hey Laur, what do you guys want to eat?

Laura (5:48 pm):       Ummm, I don’t know... whatever Perry wants.

LaF (5:52 pm):          Perry says that either:

                                a. Pizza

                                b. Pasta

                                c. Or something else

Laura (5:55 pm):       Carmilla says d. All of the above

Perry (5:57 pm):       We are not going to get you guys all that food!

       After Carmilla and Laura discussed it between them, they both agreed on pizza.

Laura (5:59 pm):       Carmilla says fine, pizza then. -_-”

Laura (5:59 pm):       Pizza it is :D

LaF (5:59 pm):          Thank you for choosing pizza. I’ve been craving it forever!

Perry (6:00 pm):       That is not true! We had pizza last month!

LaF (6:01 pm):          Yeah, last month, Perr.

       “Ugh, are they seriously?” Carmilla exclaimed and obnoxiously looked over Laura’s phone as she typed, partially blocking her view with her wavy hair.

Laura (6:02 pm):       Carmilla says stop bickering and get us some food.

LaF (6:02 pm)            Jeesh. Someone’s in a mood.

Laura (6:02 pm):       Carmilla says we’re starving!

       “That is not true!” Laura protested.

       “Oh come on, Laura. They’re gonna take forever if we don’t make this a matter of emergency and you know it.”

       “Okay, that’s true.”

Laura (6:03 pm):      Yeah, Carmilla is looking rather pale right now.

Perry (6:04 pm):       So what type of pizza would you two like?

Laura (6:06 pm):      Carmilla says extra pepperoni.

Laura (6:06pm):       Correction. She said meat lovers.

LaF (6:06 pm):         Oh! Stuffed crust! Can we get stuffed crust?

Perry (6:07 pm):       Laura, what would you like sweetie?

LaF (6:08 pm):          She told me she wanted stuffed crust, Perr.

Perry (6:08 pm):       You said that yourself, LaFontaine!

Laura (6:09pm):       Whatever you pick is fine with me, Perry! <3 :)

       “I know what you want, cupcake.”

       “Oh yeah, what is it?”

       “Isn’t it obvious?” She raised an eyebrow and used her one unbroken hand to point to herself.

       “Oh my god.” Laura slapped Carmilla’s arm, and quickly placed her hand where she just slapped her and caressed it.

LaF (6:09 pm):          Can we get the one that has everything on it, Perr?

Perry (6:10 pm):       LaFontaine, you are right next to me.

Perry (6:11 pm):       People are starting to stare!

Laura (6:11pm):        Oh oh! Carmilla’s right next to me too!

LaF (6:12 pm):          Nice! *thumbs up emoji*

Laura (6:12 pm):       Carmilla asks are they doing that weird fist pump thing when they get excited?

Perry (6:12 pm):        Yes.

LaF (6:13 pm):           I didn’t do a fist pump!

Perry (6:13 pm):        Yes you did, sweetie. I just saw you.

Perry (6:13 pm):        Because I’m right next to you.

Laura (6:14 pm):       I never thought of it, but yeah, you do that sometimes.

Laura (6:14 pm):       Carmilla says yes you do and it’s embarrassing.

LaF (6:15 pm):          Damn! So much love in here, guys.

Perry (6:16 pm):        I love you too, sweetie.

Laura (6:16 pm):       Carmilla says yuck! Get a room you two!

LaF (6:17 pm):          You guys are in it!

       Carmilla rolled her eyes and earned another slap from Laura, who quickly kissed her to make up for it.

       “You’re lucky you’re cute, cupcake.”

       “You like it.”

LaF (6:18 pm):          You better be hungry because I am ordering 2 pizzas #victorydance

Laura (6:19 pm):       Carmilla says to hurry up, then.

       After they had that small and rather bombarded conversation, it was up to Laura and Carmilla to set everything up. Laura was both excited and scared about how the evening was going to play out despite Carmilla’s efforts in keeping her calm, but she did her best to focus on one task at a time. Right now, it’s setting up for the evening.

       The smaller girl had to do most of the work, as Carmilla still had a hard time walking around the house, but she was getting better. Or at least she thought she was. She sat down at the dining table and observed how Laura started to take out the plates, set up the table and even started rummaging through the small coats closet to take out several board games: Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, and Uno!.

       After about an hour, there was the distant rumbling of automobiles outside the house, and soon the voices of the ginger twins became clearer until they opened the door and greeted both Laura and Carmilla.

       “Hey guys! How was your day?” Laura asked and Carmilla rolled her eyes. “How were your classes? Can I help you with anything?”

       “We’re good, sweetie. Classes are fine, you know. Same old, same old. And thank you, but I can take care of it. Thanks for offering your help.” Perry said as she placed her and LaF’s bags away.

       LaFontaine soon appeared, closing the door behind them with their foot while balancing two boxes of pizza in one hand and holding three grocery bags in the other. They walked around and placed the pizza boxes on the table, while Carmilla quickly opened the top box and took a pepperoni slice.

       “So, Carm and I talked about it and we wanted to give you the day off. You know, since you’ve been doing an amazing job in feeding and taking care of us for several weeks now. I know it’s not much, but we’d just like to do something nice for you, you know?” She handed them their plates as they sat down. “And also, we thought we should finally have that ‘game night’ you have been mentioning lately so… Surprise!”

       Perry was flattered and grateful by the idea of both girls thinking about her and appreciating her efforts. And she thought it was adorable that they’ve caved into the idea of doing a game night.

       As the night progressed and the pizzas were consumed, their conversations eventually turned to their lives during college and the fond, if not embarrassing, moments they remembered. LaFontaine mentioned the night when Perry got drunk with wine spritzers and began rapping to “Get Low” by Lil Jon. Or the time that Perry got super drunk and they bumped into Kirsch on an evening out and they both started dancing on a lamppost without any music but the weird movements from both of their bodies. Laura was in a fit of laughter. Never in her life could she imagine Perry getting drunk and know the lyrics to such a song, much less dance to a lamppost.

       “Oh my god! We need to get Perry drunk soon!”

       “I second that,” Carmilla exclaimed, raising her glass in the air.

       Before Perry could protest, it clicked in her head that Carmilla was holding a short glass filled midway with a clear fluid. “What’s that you’re drinking?” Perry asked and at once stared at Carmilla.

       “Vodka tonic,” the raven haired girl answered with a bored tone in her voice.

       “Carmilla!” Perry shrieked. “You are not supposed to… give that to me, young lady.” She snatched the glass from Carmilla’s hand. “Do you know how bad is for your body? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

       “Perry, relax. It’s just water,” Laura intervened.

       Perry sniffed the glass and gave it a little sip before finally handing it back to Carmilla as she confirmed that Laura was telling the truth.

       “What were you thinking, the two of you? Do you think this is a joke?”

       “I filled the glass myself,” Laura added. “Sorry, Perry. It was _kind of_ funny though, right?”

       LaFontaine in the back slightly nodded their head before abruptly stopping from Perry’s glare, shifting from a smirk to full seriousness within a matter of nanoseconds.

       “From now on, you will drink grape soda, understood?”

       “Yes, mother.” Carmilla sunk deeper in her chair.

       “So, who wants to play?” LaFontaine added, trying to change the subject.

       They played Uno! together for hours and it was every person for themselves. Perry, for example, would check the instructions almost every turn whenever she thought that Laura, but more so LaFontaine and Carmilla, were cheating. It’s just to make sure they were playing by the rules, she would say. Carmilla on the other hand would keep playing the “reverse” or “skip” card whenever Perry had one card left, earning a death stare from her, which in turn made her chuckle devilishly. LaFontaine, oddly enough, would often throw a “wild card” or a “wild card +4” to Laura every chance they could. _How did they manage to get their hands on all those wild cards?_

       After so many games, Laura finally won once either by chance or just a plain miracle. She gave a small and extremely cute victory dance and rubbed it in their faces, saying that she was “numero uno.” It was as if she was giving permission to LaFontaine to make her life miserable, as they took it upon themselves to make her not win again for the rest of the night. They would throw all the cards they could to make her grab cards from the deck, that it was hilarious to see Laura struggle with half the deck in her hands as she focused on playing by color instead of numbers. It all went smoothly until until they figured out what she was doing and they purposefully started playing cards of the color she just ran out of, making her pull more cards from the deck.

       If there was something that Perry knew, and Laura had just found out, it was that both LaFontaine and Carmilla were extremely competitive and it showed when they were the last two left in the game. There was one particular round where Laura had to shuffle the deck three times since they both kept pulling tricks out of their sleeves and arguing, claiming they were “following the rules,” despite Perry’s objections that they were both cheating. The round finally ended when LaFontaine played a “wild card” followed by a “skip” and a “reverse,” claiming a victory against a very indignant Carmilla.

       “That was cheating.” Carmilla raised her voice. “Perry, tell them they were cheating.”

       “I did not cheat,” they answered as they folded their arms and gave Carmilla a crooked smile.

       “Okay, I think we all need to take a step back and de-escalate,” Perry proposed as she started heading towards the kitchen and began to pour some more chips onto a plate.

       “Sounds like a plan.” Laura chuckled nervously. “How are you guys? Are you tired? I mean we’ve been playing for hours. Do you want to take a break, Carm? I mean, I’m ambivalent, or is it ambiguous? I don’t know. But if you guys want to call it a night, Carm and I can keep playing for a little while longer quietly.”

       “I’m fine with one more game, you Perr?” LaFontaine exclaimed as they started to refill both Perry’s and their glasses with the remnants of the wine bottle they bought, and poured more grape soda onto Laura and Carmilla’s glasses.

       “Be right there!” Perry answered from the kitchen.

       “Sounds good,” Carmilla answered. She turned to look at Laura, and mouthed the words “breathe,” as it was evident that Laura was getting nervous.

       She wanted to hold Laura’s hand in her own, or show any sign of affection towards her to make her relax a little bit. But she knew that it was normal to feel that way, so she trusted Laura to compose herself and to handle things efficiently.

       After a couple of seconds, Perry returned and they all sat in silence as Laura began to shuffle the deck for the hundredth time.

       “I, um… I have something to say.” Laura pressed her pointing finger down to the middle of the two decks of cards, raising the edges and curved the cards with her hands, before sliding her fingers through the edges as both stacks of cards slid next to the other almost perfectly. Carmilla knew that Laura was very clumsy with some things, but she never expected her to be such a pro at shuffling cards.

       “I um… I know we’ve known each other for a while and… well, there’s something that I would like to tell you and clear up so there are no misunderstandings here.” She neatly placed the deck of cards at the dead center of the table. “Contrary to popular belief, and by popular I mean both of you, I’m not straight. I’m bisexual.”

       Both their faces dropped, and Carmilla was afraid for a second of their reactions. She was so sure that they were going to be happy for Laura, but she never expected such reaction from their friends. After a short pause, LaFontaine looked at her with a smug grin, before their eyes turned to look at Perry.

       “What’d I tell you about assuming people’s sexual orientation and stuff?”

       “But… I—”

       “Perr…”

       “Oh, fine.” Perry stood up from her chair and both Laura and Carmilla watched her move from the table up to where her purse was, taking out her wallet handed LaFontaine two bills of €50.00.

       “Always a pleasure doing business with you, Perry.”

       “Did you guys place a bet on me?” Laura’s shocked voice was higher than she realized.

       “It wasn’t about you, really. It was just in general.” They placed the bill in their shirt pocket. “I wanted to prove a point.” But since nobody said anything, LaFontaine continued. “I’ve always told Perry that she shouldn’t make assumptions about people’s sexualities and that one day she was going to be wrong about someone and their feelings might get hurt and stuff.”

       “So I told them that I was _always_ right, so we betted a hundred euros on it.”

       “Well congratulations, cutie. I’m happy for you.” Carmilla intervened, and gave Laura a hug.

       “You knew?” Both ginger twins asked at the same time since Carmilla didn’t display the shocked reaction that was going around the room.

       “Yeah. Laura told me the um… the day of the accident.”

       After the explosive news, one last game followed before Perry and LaFontaine decided to call it a night after finishing their wine glasses.

       “Thank you for tonight you two. I really had a good time.” Perry said as she started heading towards her bedroom, followed by LaFontaine who also bid them goodnight.

       Now alone, Laura and Carmilla shifted closer to each other so they could play their last round of Uno! together. Midway, Laura pulled out a wild card and dropped four cards on the table.

       “No, you can’t do that. You can’t do that.”

       “Yes I can. I threw a wild with a +4”

       “No, you have to throw the card that actually _has_ the symbol in there. That would be cheating, sweetheart.”

       “What, are you part of the Uno! patrol now?”

       “No, but if we’re going to play by the rules we have to play by the rules.”

       “Come on, Carm. I want to finish this game so I can go to bed. I’m tired already.” Laura fixed her eyes on Carmilla and gave her her best impression of puppy eyes she could manage.

       Carmilla checked to see if either Perry or LaFontaine were nearby, but there was no other sound in the house except for theirs. She leaned in closer, inching herself slowly before her lips brushed against Laura’s. She took a moment and noticed Laura’s eyes closing right before her and her lips parted, ready to receive a kiss from her.

       “No,” The raven haired girl before she inched away. She wanted to kiss Laura, but she was not going to give in right now.

       “You’re no fun,” Laura pouted her lips but Carmilla fought with all her strength to not give in.

       “Come on, let’s finish this game so we can get some rest.”

       They played for fifteen minutes more before Carmilla won the game, much to Laura’s reproach that she cheated. Tired, both girls retired to bed and as they curled up next to each other. Laura placed her hand on Carmilla’s stomach and traced patterns against her tank top, whose head was resting in the smaller girl’s yellow pillow..

       “Thanks for being there for me, Carm.”

       “Always.” Carmilla whispered as she inched herself closer to give Laura a kiss.

\---

       She had the nightmare again, and it always felt like the first time she dreamt it. She wanted to open her eyes, to scream, to run towards Laura but she was always stuck inside the car. Carmilla could feel her heart thumping against her chest and it was making it difficult for her to breath. No matter how much she wanted to wake herself up, she never could.

       “Carm. Carmilla, wake up.” She was shaken back to reality and she could feel the gentle touch of fingers running through her arms and caress her hair. “It was just a dream. I’m here.”

       Her breathing was jagged and her heartbeat against her chest made her ears ring. She moved too quickly and her leg protested, the pain ironically helping to stabilize her perception.

       “Carm? Carm, open your eyes,” Carmilla obeyed and she was right next to Laura and could see that it was still dark outside. _She’s okay, she’s alive. Oh, thank God she’s alive_ , Carmilla thought as her hand started caressing Laura’s cheek, her hair, her hand, thinking that if she stopped touching her she would go back to her nightmare. “It was just a dream.”

       She calmed herself down and her heartbeat slowed its rate. Even though she was tired, Carmilla couldn’t bring herself to close her eyes again, so instead she observed Laura and brushed her fingers through her caramel hair.

       “Sorry,” was all she could muster at the moment, her voice barely audible. Laura leaned in and gave her peck on the lips.

       “There’s nothing to be sorry about. These things take time.”

       “But still.”

       “It wasn’t your fault, Carmilla.” Laura continued running her fingers through Carmilla’s hair. “Come here.”

       Laura lifted the blanket covering them and invited her to scoot closer to her in their inflatable mattress. She placed her head on Laura’s shoulder and felt how she hugged her tighter to herself and both girls drifted off to sleep again.

\---

       Finally, she was done. No more medications, no more doctor’s or physician’s appointments, no painful therapy. It was finally all over.

       Carmilla was happy she was finally living in her own apartment again, although she kinda grew accustomed to have warm food served for her everyday, but she was glad to finally be able to be in her own place and do whatever she wanted to do.

       Mr. Bauer welcomed her back with open arms since it was getting difficult for him to handle all the events now that there were more customers and people interested in scheduling events at the bookstore. One afternoon, Mr. Bauer invited Carmilla for lunch to a small sandwich place and paid for her meal, despite her protests of paying it herself.

       “I asked you to join me because I have to ask you something, kid.”

       “Is everything okay, Mr. Bauer?”

       “Yes, nothing to worry about. So listen. Now that you are fully healed and everything, I wanted to ask you if you’d be willing to work full time, maybe even become the manager of the bookstore. You wouldn’t even need any training given what you’ve been doing.” He took a bite from his sandwich, buying his time to allow Carmilla to think about it. “Look, Carmilla. I’m old, and I would like to enjoy the rest of my time with my family, and you know I esteem you very much and know how much you love that place. So maybe you can start as the manager, and we’ll see in some years if you’d be interested in taking over the place.”

       “You mean I would become the owner?”

       “You love that place, don’t you?”

       “Yes, I do.”

       “It’s all up to you. Maybe you’ll find a better job or decide to pursue a writing career, who knows. Whatever you decide I support your decision.”

       Carmilla was flattered at Mr. Bauer’s proposal and they continued talking about work-related topics before they returned to the bookstore. Carmilla busied herself with helping customers and serving coffee that their talk earlier in the day was soon forgotten. The hours passed rather quickly as there was a bigger influx of people at the bookstore that once they closed the shop and were cleaning up, there was a pleasant silence around them. Carmilla was making the sales inventory for the day when she felt her phone ring in her pocket, her lips curled as she already knew who was the person texting her.

Laura (8:37 pm):       Hey Carm! Are you almost done with your shift?

Carmilla (8:38 pm):   Give me twenty more minutes, Laura.

Laura (8:39 pm):       Do you want to do something later?

Carmilla (8:39 pm):   I’m listening

Laura (8:42 pm):       Perry, LaFontaine, and Danny want to celebrate that we can finally drink.

Laura (8:43 pm):       Does the Lustig sound good? I could pick you up that way you don’t have to walk :)

Carmilla (8:45 pm):   No, I’ll walk over there. But thanks cutie.

Laura (8:45 pm):        Awesome :D See you there, Carm. <3

Carmilla (8:46 pm):    Bye, sweetheart

       As Carmilla got out of work, she picked up the pace and began to walk around the streets she knew so well, eventually arriving at the place where she first met the smaller girl who was already busy talking with Kirsch at the bar.

       “Hey Carm!” Laura stood from her stool and immediately hugged Carmilla. She missed receiving a proper hug from Laura, not the one sided, gentle hugs they’ve been forced to give each other for the past few months.

       “How was your day, cupcake?”

       “Better now that you’re here,” Laura leaned in and gave her a kiss. “Don’t worry, I told Kirsch everything,” Laura whispered against her ear and Carmilla was relieved she didn’t have to explain anything.

       “Hey Carmsexy! Welcome back.” He smiled that puppy smile and quickly began to grab an orange but froze in his place and went back to them. “Are you gonna have an old fashioned?”

       “That’s the plan.”

       “Are you supposed to be drinking? I mean, you guys had an accident and all that. Can’t it be like, bad for you or something?”

       “Since when did you become the voice of reason?” Carmilla kept an arm around Laura’s hip.

       “I mean, I care for you ladies. I just don’t want anything bad happen to you.”

       “Says the guy that serves the drinks?” Carmilla looked at him, and then at Laura, who was taking a sip from her beer. “You should have thought of that before you gave her a beer, beefcake.”

       “Oh, right. Well, in that case,” he smirked and at once started preparing her drink. “Here you go, sexy lady.”

       Carmilla winked at him before taking Laura’s hand with hers and they headed towards the patio, searching for an empty table that would accommodate all of them. They knew they couldn’t drink too much, plus their tolerance had diminished drastically due to their time spent taking medication.

       Sitting close to each other, they waited for Perry, LaFontaine, and Danny to arrive. Before they were a quarter down in their drinks, Danny was the first to arrive with the other two following shortly behind. They all had drinks together in the metallic table with the umbrellas a few table away from where they sat the first time. While they talked amongst each other, and Carmilla was glad to have her friends there, but especially Laura. She couldn’t take her eyes off her and she loved the way she smiled and her eyes radiated that pure happiness that she loved too much.

       She never imagined she would be able to love someone this much, just like people do in books, poems, or movies. But she did, and it made her immensely happy and scared at the same time.

       Carmilla was content with sipping from the single old fashioned she had for the night, feeling how the drink was making her feel light and carefree as they all laughed and joked around, enjoying their time together.

       They talked about the different parties the organizations at Silas would throw, the Under the Sea Party, the Quad mixer, the one time Kirsch offered himself to be the ceremonial stag at the Adonis Hunt Festival, or even the time the Zetas tried to turn the basement of their house into a brewery before the university confiscated their equipment.

       “Guys, I hate to end while we’re on a good note, but I gotta go, early shift tomorrow.” She frowned, but before she left she turned to Laura and Carmilla. “If you guys want to meet up for breakfast, give me a heads up. There’s gonna be a batch of pancakes waiting for you there.”

       “Thanks Danny, I can’t wait! We should go, Carm.”

       “If you wake up on time, sweetheart,” .

       “Ha, ha. Speak for yourself, Carm.”

       “Whatever,” Carmilla rolled her eyes and gave Laura a peck on her lips.

       “You know, I’m glad you guys are okay.” She collected the empty glasses and bottles before standing up to return them to the bar. “Alright. I’m gone for real this time. Bye guys! Thanks for everything and be safe out there.” She gave a small wave before walking towards the doors, disappearing into the night.

       The four of them continued talking, but Perry and LaFontaine retired after a couple of hours, saying that they had a pickling class early in the morning.

       So the first pair to arrive were the last to leave.

       Carmilla liked hanging around the ginger twins and felt like they grew closer since they took care of both of them during the accident, but she was glad to have these moments alone with Laura. And then it dawned on her that she never did this with other girls. She used to hit on girls and have fun with them but never call them again.

       But not with Laura. She was old fashioned and took her on dates, kissed her but never went beyond anything remotely sexual even though they had spent endless nights together. Well, first of all because it was rather difficult to have a cast and not be able to move her arm or leg, but she never made any attempt at trying to seduce Laura as a form of game. She had learned to love Laura for who she was, for what she made her feel, for being the person that had ripped her from her constant cold guard and allowed herself to be happy with someone again.

       “What are you thinking?”

       Carmilla looked around, noticing that there was more and more people gathering at the patio and the music was getting annoyingly loud for her taste.

       “Do you want to get out of here?”

       “Yeah, let’s go.” They held hands as they walked back to the bar, drank some water to sober up while Carmilla paid for the tab, bidding Kirsch farewell before they walked towards Laura’s car to head to the raven haired girl’s apartment.

       Her leg protested when they were almost at the end of the stairs and Carmilla pictured in her mind the struggle she would have had when she first had the accident. Not that she wasn’t grateful, but she was incredibly relieved that Perry and LaFontaine convinced her to stay with them while she got better. Outside in the hallway, Carmilla started looking for her keys when Laura hugged her from behind, pressing her head against her back and gave her a kiss on her shoulder blade.

       “Hey,” Laura said, while Carmilla turned and Laura pulled the raven haired girl closer to her body.

       “Hey.” Carmilla returned the embrace and even tangled her fingers in Laura’s silky caramel hair. She gently pulled Laura close to her and gave her a kiss, before they finally let themselves in her apartment.

       Her apartment was hot and as she was about to go open a window, Laura leaned in and pressed her lips against hers, sliding both hands around the taller girl’s waist and pulled their bodies close together. Laura ran her hands around her back and sent shivers all around Carmilla’s body as her fingers braced underneath her shirt. Carmilla touched Laura’s cheek when she felt the smaller girl pulling her closer until there was nothing separating them. Maybe it was the alcohol’s bidding, but she could feel Laura’s tongue against her lower lip. Carmilla responded the same, and soon they kissed with the same passion like they once did when they found out they had feelings for each other. Her thoughts were clouded, and she didn’t knew if she was feeling hot from her apartment’s current temperature or because of the things that Laura was doing to her.

       “Hmm.” Laura hummed between kisses that Carmilla took it as incentive to take things to another level before Laura added, “just give me one second,” and broke the kiss. She went to open the windows to cool down their room from the summer heat.

       Carmilla lied down on the sofa and felt the back of her neck warm. She could feel her eyes droopy from the drink she had before she was joined by Laura sitting next to her.

       “You okay?” Carmilla asked, feeling like she had done something that might have upsetted her.

       “Yeah, it’s just… too hot in here.”

       “Didn’t know I had that effect on you, cutie.” Carmilla chuckled, feeling the warmth crawling up in her neck.

       “Apparently you have that effect on your air conditioner as well.”

       They both laughed until Carmilla fixed her eyes upon Laura’s since they were both close to each other in the couch.

       “I don’t think I’ve ever told you about this,” Carmilla stood up, heading towards the kitchen to take two glasses and proceeded to fill them with water before returning to sit down. “I read something in a book that I found rather interesting a while ago.”

       “What is it?” Laura took the glass, brushing her fingers against Carmilla’s and took several gulps before putting it down on the trunk in front of her.

       Carmilla did the same, and the scene she had played in her mind was completely different from what was actually happening in real life. In her mind, she wanted to sound interesting to Laura, but instead she just sounded like she was about to tell her the stupidest thing she could have ever come up with.

       “No, it’s nothing.” She raised the glass up to her lips and drank half the glass. “Forget I even mentioned it.” She placed the glass down next to Laura’s.

       “No, it’s not ‘nothing.’ I want to know.” Laura took Carmilla’s hand with hers.

       “Well, if you must know,” She sighed in defeat, “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

       “Yes. Come on, Carm. Tell me.”

       “Don’t judge, okay?” She didn’t waited for a response. “Waltzing was a scandalous dance back in the late 1690’s.

       “What? ”

       “See? I told you it was stupid. Maybe I probably thought too much and too long about it, but it’s true. It was probably a frisson scandal back then.”

       “How can waltzing be scandalous?”

       “I’ll show you,” Carmilla stood up and offered her hand, inviting Laura to stand up.

       “Partners were face to face,” She linked her fingers with Laura’s. “Chest to chest,” she brought Laura so close to her that there was no space between them, placing her arm around Laura’s waist as if they were about to dance before putting some distance between them. “All of that um… whirling.” She held out her hand and twirled her before she pressed their bodies together once again.

       Laura gave a small laugh and Carmilla couldn’t take her eyes off of her. She looked at her eyes, her lips, her hair.

       “It may as well might’ve been sex.”

       “So, I guess they all had some fun after all,” Laura leaned in closer and closer, closing her eyes as her nose brushed against Carmilla’s.

       They stood frozen, their lips not moving but there was no hesitation on either girl.

       “I guess so,” Carmilla moved closer and met Laura’s lips.

       Carmilla resumed her dancing position after they broke the kiss and they started swaying without music in the living room. The urge to have Laura close to her was amazingly strong at this very moment and she leaned in closer, closing her eyes as she pressed her cheek against Laura’s. She slightly shifted her head and gave her a tender kiss on her cheek, traveling to her neck, before coming back to her ear, brushing her skin with her nose and whispered next to her ear,

       “I love you, Laura Hollis.”

       Laura moved her head and met Carmilla’s eyes.

       “I love you too, Carmilla Karnstein.”       

       Laura leaned in and met Carmilla’s lips with her own. It started slow as she trailed several kisses from her neck to her cheek before she came back to her lips.

\---

       After a long day of work, Carmilla was glad to be able to spend some quality time with Laura, who seemed to be more chirpy than she originally was. Not that she complained, she loved seeing Laura happy more than anything in the world. They both instinctively linked their hands as soon as she climbed in the car as they made their way towards the freeway.

       “Guess what I found out today?”

       “That you love me with the burning passion of a thousand suns?”

       “Besides that.” She started giggling as she took the entrance to the freeway. “Perry’s gonna owe LaFontaine another hundred euros.”

       “Did they make another one of their weird bets on us?”

       “Does it surprise you?” Carmilla shook her head and leaned closer to Laura and planted a kiss on her lips as they came to a red light. “Let them have their fun.” Laura whispered against her ear. “We’ll have some fun of our own,” She placed her hand on her thigh, sliding a little bit further up as they continued driving.

        _Yeah, we’re gonna have a lot of fun._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to ask me any questions, say hi or whatever, follow me on tumblr: puccacienta.tumblr.com (it's not Carmilla exclusive, btw)
> 
> Thank you for making this first fic an amazing journey. I can't thank you enough!


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